Author: V the Happy Lurker
Rating: R
Warnings: Fluff, medical fetish if you squint, and implied Family Unfriendly Violence! And I mock you, proper scale!
Word count: 2,510
Summary: TF G1- Blaster/Tracks/Raoul: dirty talk; "Oh yeah? Just listen to the noise he makes when I do this!"
A/N: Joor= 2 hours approximately.
"Okay," Raoul slide the cover back and held up his hand. "How many fingers am I holding up now?"
"One, and that is a rather inappropriate gesture you know?"
The boy smiled. "Well, good to see your personality didn't get fried too. Alright, Blaster! Let's take care of the hole."
Blaster obliged, lifting the boy up and sitting him on Tracks' chest plate.
"Oh really!" grumbled the Corvette, squirming at the contact. "It's just a tiny ding! Nothing that can't wait till we get back to base."
Raoul growled quietly. "Ding? I'm standing in your chest, man!"
"Blaster," Tracks pleaded as he looked up at the comm officer. "Will you please tell him that it's nothing to worry about?"
"You have a five foot ten inch human standing shoulder deep in your chest," droned Blaster. He shifted, readjusting the connector cables. "I think we have a right to be worried."
"And you two accuse me of overreacting..."
"Oh, so we didn't both spend last night welding, overhauling motors, and repairing fuel lines? We just dreamed this shit up?" Raoul squatted back down, tugging hard a couple of wires to prove his point. "Jesus fucking Christ! You could've died!"
Tracks weakly waved it off. "It's nothing Ratchet couldn't patch up. I'd have been fine, really."
"You were going gray," Blaster muttered. "It's a miracle we even made it this far before you went into terminal stasis."
"Blaster dear, I hardly think-"
"Just hush and let us work, okay?" With that, he lapsed back into the fugue of data to hunt down and destroy those lovely little presents Soundwave had given him during the remote hijack.
Sighing in defeat, Tracks laid his head back down on Blaster's thigh and did his best to ignore both the pain and the insistent flash of pop-up warnings. He hated to admit that both of them were right about the state Soundwave had put him in, but there was no reason for Blaster to worry Raoul with this sort of thing. The boy didn't need to get even more involved in this war than he already was. But it was a bit late to complain about that now.
Actually, in a strange way, it was pleasant to know they both cared enough about him to perform emergency repairs in a run-down warehouse. Most other mechs would've wrote him off as dead or as good as before chasing after the fleeing Decepticon. But Blaster had given up a chance to avenge himself and instead carried Tracks out of harm's way. He didn't know when Raoul had shown up, only that the boy was there when he came back online. It was almost miraculous how quickly they'd managed to pull him back from the brink of death in such a short time using only whatever equipment and parts Raoul had 'borrowed' from work.
A sudden jolt rattled Tracks out of his thoughts. "Please! Don't poke that!"
"Poke what? This thing?" Raoul stood up with a thick length of cable in one hand. He looked at the plug-end curiously. "What is this thing anyway?"
"Never mind," groused the Corvette. "Just put it back."
"Why? Is it gonna hurt you if I don't?"
"...eh, no. Not exactly..." He shifted nervously. "It's just something that you really shouldn't mess around with."
"It's a dual port and coaxial plug," rumbled Blaster, coming out of the trance.
"Looks like a SAE connector to me." Raoul gave it an experimental poke with a screwdriver, making Tracks shudder. "What does it do?"
"Blaster, don't you dare! He doesn't need to know."
The comm officer laughed. "Aw, come on! Kid's already seen more of your internals than most people. Might as well tell him about plugging."
"That's what this is for?" The boy bit back a snicker. "This is what your guy's junk look like? Man, this sucker's almost as thick as my arm!"
Tracks frowned his disapproval at him. "Yes, it's very impressive. Now put it back!"
"All right, all right! Don't get your little panties twisted." Raoul sighed and leaned down. "You're just lucky Blaster's here, otherwise I'd pay you back for all those times you'd use that holo-trick to take advantage of a poor helpless little human."
"...what?"
Now Tracks was squirming for a different reason. "It's not... I mean, we only did it... Raoul, would you please hurry up and reconnect my drivetrain?"
"What the hell?" The boy snapped back up, glaring at him. "Do I embarrass you or something? I mean, you did tell Blaster we were-" He stopped short when he saw their faces.
"Everything good on your end, Raoul?" Blaster asked calmly after a pause.
"...yeah." He climbed down from the Corvette, glancing back and forth between them in confusion. "Look, I don't know what the-"
"It's gonna take a while for the clean-up program to scan and remove the malware. If you notice anything weird or something happens, comm me." His tone was flat as he disconnected from Tracks and got to his feet. Blaster turned to the boy. "You mind if we went and a had a little talk?"
Raoul shook his head, watching as Blaster transformed and activated his own holo. "I ain't ever gonna get use to seeing you as a human, man..."
"Yeah, well it's easier this way," hummed the human-Blaster as he hoisted his alt-from onto a shoulder. "We've got a lot to talk about..."
They walked out of the warehouse, leaving Tracks laying there in a shamed silence. He honestly expected Raoul to come charging back, ranting and cursing at him. But after a joor, he slipped off into a deep recharge. It was dark when he was woke up by Blaster returning.
"You doing alright?" he asked, sitting down and putting Tracks' head back in his lap.
"To be honest, no." Tracks kept his optics offlined. "Is...is Raoul okay?"
"Fucking wonderful."
Optics flashing bright, Tracks turned to see the young human walking toward them with a box in his arms. "I...please forgive me. What I did to you both was-"
"Yeah, yeah. You're an asshole, you're sorry,...blah-de-blah!" Raoul pulled out a paint can from the box.
"What...what are you two planning?" barked the Corvette, noticing the drips of pink down the can's side.
Now Blaster smiled. "No, we ain't gonna give you a new paint job. Well, not till after Ratchet sees you..." He reached down to help Raoul, placing the boy and the mysterious box onto Tracks' shoulder. "We talked things over and...well, we forgive you."
"You're still in deep shit," grumbled Raoul, dragging the box onto Tracks' abdomen plates. He rapped on the Corvette's chest-plate impatiently. "Open up. I've got hook these cables up."
"And why do you need to do that?" Tracks asked. He was giving them both suspicious looks now.
"We're just following orders, baby," cooed Blaster while he carefully reconnected to him. "Ratchet told us to check your sensory networks and examine your lasercore for damage."
"Well, you can just tell him to wait and do it himself!" came the angry and scandalized bark.
Now Raoul was laughing. "Quit being such a prissy old queen, Tracks! I promise to be as gentle as a kitten."
"From what I've learned, kittens can be quite nasty creatures," he groused. "Blaster, you cannot seriously condone this!"
"Why not? You know we aren't gonna anything to hurt you." He stroked Tracks' helm soothingly.
"And Hubby #2 says he's cool with it, too," Raoul added, bending down to see if he could find a latch to pop.
"The proper term is 'mate'," muttered the Corvette. "I can't believe you went and got Jazz involved in this."
"You make it sound like we're broadcasting this live!" snickered Blaster. He ran his fingers up and down Tracks' neck cables while he stealthily slipped past the Corvette's firewalls via a backdoor program, entering his mainframe with a lazy ease. "Besides, the deal was you can have somebody else as long as you were upfront with us about it."
"Blaster, what are you doing-"
"MWAHA!" Crowing happily, Raoul found the latch and (with a little assistance from a certain tape deck...) popped open the panel covering Track's lasercore. "Wow. This thing is..." He stared at what he could swear was some kind of hybrid between a suped-up engine and an alien camera "Uh, Blaster? What the hell am I suppose to hook up to again?"
"There's a female port underneath this duct here." He pointed it out for the boy. "Just reach under there and attach the blue-n-white striped wire, then plug it into the diagnostic unit."
"EXCUSE ME!" growled Tracks angrily. "Don't I get any say in this?"
"Just think of it as your punishment for not telling me you were married," Raoul snapped back, setting up the little data-pad Tracks had given him.
"Oh, so sexually molesting me counts as an appropriate punishment?"
"Whuh?"
Blaster gave Tracks a dirty look. "Will you quit being so melodramatic? It's a a diagnostic computer, not a oscillator!"
"Yes, well," the Corvette huffed and squirmed a bit as Blaster sent him a faint pulse. "You are certainly taking advantage of a certain link to get me to cooperate."
"We go through this every time you have to get a spark examine." Blaster muttered, giving Raoul a reassuring smile while he up the pulses. "Trust me, it's par for the course with our lovely flying automobile here. All the prissiness of a Seeker and the temper of a Racer!"
"I do not have a temper," groaned Tracks. "It's just not proper to have your chamber on display in such an unseemly manner!"
Raoul rolled his eyes, catching onto the subtle agreement in Tracks' tone while hooking up the cable. "Yeah, right. Sounds like you're a bit repressed..."
"Oh, I certainly am nah-nah-not!"
"Uh-huh... What do I need to do next, Blaster?"
"Connect the oscillator to the plugs on your right." Gleefully, he up the pulse intensity to the tune of some very undignified panting.
Gasping and trying his best to ignore the pleasant jolts fluttering through his wires, Tracks gave his mate a weak glare. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Teaching Raoul how to build such a..ah!-a dirty thing."
"Actually, it was Wheeljack," the boy corrected. Satisfied that everything was attached right, Raoul perched on the edge of the lasercore. "Jack's a really nice guy. Totally batshit and a real dirty old man, but nice."
"You...you sent a comm to Wheeljack too?" Now Tracks' undamaged fans kicked on, whirring frantically to cool him down.
"Well, it's one way to check your systems..." Beaming in triumph, Blaster sped up the pulses. "Admit it. This ain't a bad way to do it."
"I...*pant*...I'm going to get you both for this..."
"I don't see why your bitching," Raoul chirped, fiddling with the dial. "If I got a couple of hot nurses giving me a Happy Ending every time I went in for a check up, I'd be looking for reasons to get admitted!"
"Oh Primus!" Tracks moaned loudly at the random burst coming from the oscillator. He could barely keep his voice steady. "You...you are going to pay dearly for this..."
"Ooooh no! Guess we better watch our asses," snickered Blaster, shifting the pulses to match the oscillator and was rewarded with a shrill cry. "He sounds serious..."
"Oh yeah?" chuckled Raoul as he turned up the oscillator. "Just listen to this!"
Tracks let out another cry, arching up slightly. A new warning blinked up on his H.U.D., emphasizing just how close he was to hitting an overload.
"Not bad for a beginner," purred Blaster. "But how about this?" He scaled back the pulse speed, but kept upping the intensity till only a slow hard burst that left the Corvette mewling immodestly.
"I see you that and raise you this!" With a youthful disregard for decency, Raoul turned the oscillator up as high as he could, wrenching an ecstatic howl out of Tracks as he hit the overload threshold. And also triggering his spark chamber to open, causing the boy to fall backwards into his spark.
"Raoul!" Quickly, Blaster reached down and pulled him out. "Oh god, are you alright?"
He blinked away the shining grit and stared at them drunkenly. "Wha—what just happened?"
"You fell...in my spark..." Tracks managed, reeling in fear and the afterglow.
"Whoa..."
"Are you alright?" Blaster asked again, sitting him down on the floor.
Raoul grinned brightly. "HELL YES! LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!"
"Maybe later..." panted the Corvette. "Much, much later."
"Yeah," Blaster hummed in agreement, carefully disconnecting the wires and closing Tracks' chest panel back as he uploaded the information to a satellite feed. "We've got the data we needed."
"Oh..." The boy looked a bit disappointed. "Right. The system check thing..."
Tracks sighed, relieved to see he wasn't hurt. "You're incorrigible," he grumbled, trying to sound angry but spoiling it with a smile. He looked up at Blaster. "And you really should stop encouraging him!"
"Mm-hmm..."
"You sound better, Tracks." Raoul took the data pad from Blaster along with the rest of the gear. "You guys gonna be okay?"
"Yeah. Ratchet's coming with a recovery team. You sure you're okay?" Blaster eyed him nervously.
"I feel fantastic!" He glanced down at the glittering dust clinging to his clothes and skin. "Though I look like I just banged Tinkerbell. Ought get home and take a shower."
"Right..." Tracks gave him a mother frown. "Listen, if you feel anything...unusual, let us know immediately."
"Hey, who's the one that needs a doctor here?" He leaned over and planted a kiss on Tracks' hand. "Just take care of youselves, okay?"
"You too, Raoul." When he'd gone out the door, Tracks glanced up at his mate. "You think he's going to okay?"
"He seems just fine." Blaster murmured, puzzling over the strange new beat in his spark. "Besides, you ain't in any condition to be worrying yourself over an awkward little tumble. Now, just try to get some rest. They'll be here soon enough to finish patching you up so we can get you back to base."
"Yes, dear..." Tracks offlined his optics, confused and slightly frightened by a new, alien rhythm humming in his own spark.