It wasn't the pills that he was addicted to. It was the after effect. The way they affected every part of his imagination, they made him want to live at 2.a.m. when there was nothing left to hold on to.
The way she popped in his mind, always welcomed, with that smile that made all the ugly thoughts, doubts and fears go away. Every single night she came, she made his messy room a garden full of blooming lotus flowers only with her presence. He imagined all those late night talks that never existed, all the unread books, the under-rain-kisses that never came true, all the broken promises and the words left unsaid. She never seemed to give him the things he needed, it was never enough, so there he was again, stuck in his own mind, daydreaming at 3 o clock in the morning. Sleepless.
The shadows under his eyes became a constant thing, so did the pain in his chest. It took him somehow ages to figure out what was wrong, why did he feel that way. And there it was, the aching truth that spoke right before his own tired eyes. She was the one, at least that s what he thought so. She was a walking disappointment but yet so beautiful and unbelievably tempting, irresistible. She brought him to his knees. How could that even be? And, oh, these dreamy eyes that made him sink into the deepest ocean without even caring how much time for breathing he had left.
The thing he really hated was the fact that she was a complete mystery. Every single story that girl had about the world made him feel lost. She could turn everything into magic just with her voice, her words. She was like a treasure nobody had ever seen and every time he discovered something new, it made him fall even deeper. It was more than addiction, it was madness. Let s face it, he d die just to hold her for a little while, to touch her lips again, to feel her next to him. There was nothing else that could make this sickness go away. However, he didn't actually want this just for a single day or minute or hour, that couldn't possibly be enough. He wanted it for a never ending moment, eternity.