There were few things Robin was truly afraid of. Sure, he faced most of his fears every day he fought crime, like the chance that he or one of his teammates wouldn't make it back to the tower, but he hadn't been to a circus since the accident. So, when Beastboy, of all people, says he bought them all tickets, Robin being nervous was an understatement. He excused himself right away and locked himself in one of the spare rooms in the tower and sat against one of the walls, with his head in his hands.
It wasn't until a red-headed alien knocked on the door that he got up. None of his friends knew about the accident that shaped his life. He didn't want to tell them, at least not right then.
"Friend Robin, are you okay?" Starfire asked, "Are you going to be the sick?"
"No, Star. I'm fine," Robin said to the confused alien, "So, when do we have to leave?" It was just one more fear Robin would face, even if he dreaded the thought of seeing anything go wrong. At least he would be there to make sure of it.
Starfire answered excitedly, "Beast Boy says we must leave as soon as possible. I cannot wait to see the performance. Are you excited Robin?"
"Sure," Robin said, just enthusiastically enough for Starfire not to question him. They joined their friends in the commons room and went from there. The others didn't question why Robin had left so suddenly, but Raven looked sympathetic toward her friend. She was the only one who knew, even though he would never have been able to tell her in person.
They made it to the circus early, as only a few people were there. A few little kids were excited to see the titans at the show and asked for their autographs, to which the titans couldn't refuse, but eventually stopped, as more and more kids showed up, and they needed a seat.
As they approached the tent, Robin's nervousness grew. It skyrocketed when he saw the name of the circus. It was his circus. The one he lived for when he was younger. His life began and ended at the circus. He stopped for a brief second before Starfire grabbed his arm and pulled him after her.
There was ten minutes to go as Starfire dragged Robin to the front row. Raven sat on the other side and squeezed his hand reassuringly. Cyborg and Beastboy busied themselves with getting snacks and returned with their arms full of buckets of popcorn and cotton candy.
Robin couldn't take it. He was having sensory overload, and he had to get out of there. He got up and walked to the bathroom, locking the door and looking in the mirror whispering to himself, "There's no Dick Grayson anymore. You gave that up a long time ago. It's just Robin."
He almost didn't notice the knock at the door. This time it wasn't Starfire, but Raven who was waiting, "Are you okay? If you don't want to stay I can tell the others you had to leave."
"Thanks, Raven, but I'll stay. I just needed a minute. This place is where it happened. It brings back a few memories."
Raven pulled her hood down and gave him a look that said she knew better. He had thought about leaving several times already, and though the thought wasn't a bad one in his mind, he wanted to prove to himself that he was Robin, and there was no Dick Grayson, "Fine, I'm a little nervous, but I need to stay."
They made it to their seats as the show began. Robin, explained how some of the acts worked to Starfire, who was very interested. Raven smiled and looked at Beastboy, who had a mouthful of popcorn and couldn't talk, not that Raven minded. Cyborg sat next to him, with a slightly smaller amount of popcorn in his mouth, "Want some Raven?" he asked, passing one of the buckets to her. She shrugged and grabbed a handful of the greasy, yet delicious snack.
Robin stayed as focused on the acts as he could. One by one the acts went on, was perfect, and the next was up. First were the tightrope walkers, then the lion tamers, which Beastboy wasn't too happy about. More and more acts went on, but Robin was waiting. There was no flaw in any of the acts; he would have seen the slightest misstep or pattern of movement suggesting something went wrong.
He was slowly relaxing, but when the trapeze artists came into view, he almost jumped out of his skin. There were three of them: A man, woman, and a young boy. Raven grabbed Robin's hand again to keep him calm.
"Please, is this like what you do, Robin?" Starfire asked. She had been entranced by the blinding lights, clowns, and the food, and had watched each performance graciously.
"It's just like what I do."
Robin was slightly relaxed as the net went up. That was the reason he was who he was. The absence of the net would have made him get up and protest, seeing as how he didn't want anyone else's life to be changed like his was. At least it wouldn't happen to another kid. Not tonight.
There was no flaw in the act. Each flip, turn, and catch was perfect. Robin would wager they didn't even need a net, but he would never suggest it to anyone. What finally made Robin smile, though, was the look on the boys face. He was enjoying every minute he spent flying through the air, just like Richard had all those years before. He still enjoyed it, but never thought about it when he was busy fighting crime.
As the acrobats took a bow, Robin clapped as hard as he could, getting glances from his teammates as he did. Raven smiled and joined in, finally relaxing herself. She had been as nervous as Robin. She also received looks from the other titans, but ignored them as everyone else started clapping.
As the show drew to a close, Robin seemed to be enjoying himself. He looked almost depressed when it was over, like a little kid who had to leave a candy store without getting anything. Starfire went on and on about what she loved about the circus, which was everything, until Robin excused himself from the group. The others said they would meet him at the car, and Raven didn't need to sense his emotions to know what he was going to do.
Robin went into the backroom quietly. He passed by the animal cages, but stopped at a familiar face. The old elephant waved her trunk around and wrapped it around Robin, who didn't protest. Instead, he rubbed the top of her head and whispered for her to put him down. The elephant did what she was trained to do, and nudged him with her trunk, asking for a snack, "Here you go, girl," Robin said as he tossed a leftover snack into her mouth.
"You're not supposed to be back here," said a voice from a few feet away. Robin turned to see the boy acrobat. Robin smiled and moved away from the elephant.
"I know. I just wanted to speak to you."
"Why? You're a Teen Titan. Why are you even here?"
Robin smiled. The boy reminded him of himself when he was younger, "My friend got the tickets, so I came. This is an amazing place."
"Yeah," the boy said. He was still wearing his uniform, which looked similar to what Robin's first one had been, "I love it here. My mom, dad, and I get to go all over. I even get to play with the animals."
"And you get to fly."
"That's the most fun! I want to all the time, but I can only do it during a show or when we practice."
"If you don't mind, can I ask your name?"
"Logan."
"Logan, I hope you always fly. Take care of yourself and your family okay?"
"Sure," the boy said.
As he felt a nudge on his shoulder, he continued, "Take good care of this old girl. She's an old friend of mine."
"Have you been here before Robin?" Logan asked. He was eating up what Robin was saying, and wanted him to continue speaking.
"Yeah, I've been here before. This is where it all began. Maybe I'll come back another time, okay?"
"Anytime!" was the response he got. Robin shook Logan's hand before leaving.
At the car, he was received by mostly irritated looks. Cyborg was ready to go and hated not being the first out of the parking lot, and Beastboy was getting sick of Starfire repeating herself. Starfire was more than happy to see Robin and sped up talking to Beastboy so she could talk to him. Raven didn't show any emotion under her hood, but looked up when Robin was close, "So, how was it?"
Robin smiled and Raven understood, "I had a good time. The performers looked like they did too."
"And the boy?" Raven asked so none of the others could hear.
"I know he loved it."
The next night, Robin went back to circus. The others all had other things to do, anyway. Right before he got there, though, he took off his uniform and mask, changing into some clothes he had in case he needed them. Dick Grayson loved the show more than Robin ever could.