A.N: Dedicated to miZaru667 who I secretly admired because she never gave up. She stuck with her story even in the beginning when not many people were reading it so I suggest you go check out her story 'The Healer' right after you read this chapter (:
Now I put my heart into the feelings occurring in this story to make them REAL and I swear every now and then I'd feel a jolt at something I wrote, pathetic right? I hope it lives up to your expectations and if you see a mistake anywhere don't hesitate to tell me.
Warnings: Language, possible gore, fluff and lots of it later on, dysfunctional family, messed up teenagers, teenage themes no adult themes, maybe profanity. I think that's all.
Mean: Taylor Swift...I changed the meaning to be fight centric because I can :)
"Ms. Weasley would you like to enlighten me on what's so fascinating?" Professor Clarkson cut my conversation with April short. She raised a perfectly penciled eyebrow high up as she crackled down at me like I was one of her vermin. I would have been incredibly pissed if, well-I was. I don't give about her stupid mimbl-whatever. I don't even want to take this class but apparently-according to Mum-I have to. But that's not it, like I said she could go on days and days and days and I wouldn't even pretend to listen, it was the 'point'. The 'point' is that the whole class was talking lady! Just get over your little immature grudge on me and get on with your pathetic life! But I didn't say that, not even close.
I sucked in a breath and my cheeks, determined not to gain myself a detention, "No, I am sorry professor." I kind of killed it for her back there. It was evident in her eyes she wanted to hold me in all weekend long but now she had no reason it. Clarkson nodded rigidly and whispered, if even, "Twenty points from Gryffindor."
My jaw dropped along with the various groans and the shouts of; 'Nice going Weasley'. Oh they wouldn't say they when I was done with her, they'd say a hell lot more. I took a quick intake of breath ready to send this bitch to the deep depths of Tartarus but before I could utter one syllable a hand clasped over my mouth muffling my words and later screams. Along with the hand the person locked me in place somehow.
Oh, I am against a wall. I am so idiotic; of course they'd be able to hold me in place! I tried to turn around but the person was obviously male because I just kept crashing into a strong figure and if this situation wasn't so abusive it would have felt kind of protective, the way I was never really held.
Crap, I gotta stop this self-pitying shite.
It was strong but so gentle that I felt no pain; the hold that is. Before I could help it I felt butterflies at the thought of a guy-'the guy'- cornering me with his hand over my mouth to stop crazy hit man Floyar from shredding me to pieces.
Welcome to Exhibit A folks, here we have one of the many reasons Rose Weasley is so fucked up. Her envision of fluff and romance is the deadly situation where her own personal criminal hunts her down. Can I have some applause?
I totally need an exhibit B where it shows how I actually herd the commentator/museum guide. Yeah, welcome to Rose Weasley's world. Oh, I am still stuck. What the hell, why isn't anyone noticing this? And why is April just smirking at me? You little bitch, help! Suddenly the person let go and I sprung around as fast as the time I heard Uncle Charlie was in the house. I hoped it was Albus, so my mind can take it in as brotherly-hood and not manipulation. As much as I say I like punching and yelling at people, I really don't.
In, out. In, out. In, out. I repeated in my head just as I saw my tackler-sort of. I smiled with feign genuinity but was pretty sure the whole nostril flare ruined it as I turned around. His bloody smirk! Stupid, arrogant, prick he will pay. I locked eyes with April and she sent me a sheepish smile and mouthed 'I'll explain later'.
I leaned over, "You better girlfriend," whispered into her ear as she turned back to her assignment in the seat in front of me; gulping audibly.
The rest of the class went by uneventfully, in the actual world. In my mind was a World War III chaos. So I was mad, pissed, annoyed, angry, furious, disturbed, confused, glad, interested, curious all at once, that's got to count for some record. Can you blame me? I had my arch enemy's body pressed right onto mine and I ENJOYED it. Although I hated to admit it he was pretty hot minus the insufferable smirk. His blonde hair so blonde it shined a soft gold. His grey stare seemed to hover on his slightly tanned pale skin, totally contrasting with each other. Shut up! So what if I thought he was attractive, big deal. That means nothing. Because I will never feel passionate hatred towards anyone as much as Scorpius Malfoy, and that is final.
If a stare could bore a hole into someone's back I would be a walking window. Sure it was just a sensation but it felt like a hell lot more. Instinctively I turned around, a snarky comment at bay, expecting a smirk on his pretty boy face but that's not the sight I met when I turned around. He was taking notes. Seriously, notes? Since when does he take notes? He seemed to notice my glance/long glare so he snapped his head up catching me of guard.
I was embarrassed and that was an understatement. Malfoy surprised me further when I saw that his face held no look of arrogance, annoy or superiority. I expected him to say something along the lines of; 'What Weasley, can't keep your eyes of me?'
He…grinned? "I suppose you want to know what the hell I was thinking back there." Scorpius waved his wrist backwards for the effect of time. I responded by nodding somberly only because I had no idea what to say. Of course I wanted to know what that was about!
"Well I wasn't." I Thanked God and Mum I didn't blush when his smile reached his eyes. I decided to do myself a favour and give me a good slap after class. I replied within our relationship bounds, meaning I had to reply a single reply that would start an hour fight.
I surprised myself for my quick thinking when I said; "That's a first." And I rolled my eyes sarcastically for an effect. Perfect! You wouldn't be judging if your worst enemy was super-hot and was SMILING at you right that moment. I was glad I even knew what words meant right then.
"I just didn't want to lose house points after last time Weasel." He continued as though I had never spoken.
"And you did that by trying to finish Floyar's work?" Right after the words came out of my mouth I regretted them instantly because Al's, next to Malfoy's, face fell. He opened his mouth as I prepared to feel small but Malfoy beat him to it.
Stupid Lame-o joke! Now I am going to have to see the other side of Malfoy, the one I always avoided. We were never serious, that's probably the only thing I like about our relationship. It's was so loud and obnoxious but at the end of the day nobody gets hurt…at least not like today.
"Don't joke about that-" he snapped. Okay, pause. How dare he pretend like it mattered to him if I was sent to the grave in the next few weeks?
"And you care?" I hissed my eyes narrowing with venom.
"Yes! I may not like you, heck I freakin' hate you but I am not going around saying I want you dead Weasel."
Ouch.
Double ouch.
Heck, add a triple ouch.
Of course he hates you Rose, use your Granger brain. Why wouldn't he? You fight practically every second of your existence and no pretty words leave your pretty red lips then. That didn't stop the dramatic fall of my heart to the pit of my stomach, I knew I shouldn't care but it killed me on the inside.
I nodded curtly, pretending to feel indifferently but it REALLY struck me. Like nothing has ever before. Not even the time my own mother said I was a disgrace (but that's a different story).I, Rose Jean Weasley, was the lovable kind of girl, the girl who doesn't care what anybody thinks and skips down the hall hello-ing random people and giggling to herself to show them she won't break but deep inside she burned like fire. Maybe not as stereo-typical, I guess, but close enough.
"Ditto." I say dumbly-literally, I seemed to forget how to talk-forgetting Malfoy wasn't a Muggle and probably thought I'd gone crazy.
Turning back to face the front I see a now laughing Clarkson. It seemed with every jolt of her happiness, I mirrored it with sadness.Damn, why do I have to care so much? It's just Malfoy. The guy I considered more like a pet parrot who would get on your nerves because he wouldn't shut up. So now the tears were pilling up on the rim of my botton eye-lid. Just all the air sucked out of my lungs, I tried to hold back the waterworks by covering my whimpering lips, blood-shot eyeballs and misshappen state with my fanning blood red hair.
God, not here. No, no, no!
I was hidding. I did it all the time. No one was allowed to see the weaker side of me. No one was allowed to soothe me by rubbing circles on my back or saying reassuring, caring words. I was hidding from April in front of me, Max next to me, Albus behind me and most importantly from Malfoy.
CLING. It was so soft that I thought it was my imagination. I froze. Was he calling me? Did he just accidentley bump his foot with the leg of my chair? Or did it even happen at all. I seemed to forget that I actually needed oxygen to live. Then nothing. I breathed because it seemed like the right thing to do. CLING, CLING. That's a double, it couldn't have been my imagination. Did he care? Along with the coursing of adrenaline through my veins was a flowing question: "Did he care?"
I never found out because the cursed bell chose that moment to ring. Tuning out Clarkson's words, I ran suddenly feeling claustraphobic. I ran and ran and ran. Rushing past thoroghly offended looking portarits and doors, so many damn doors. Then I reached the great hall, then the stairs, then my house tower but I didn't stop until my jelly-knees wouldn't hold me up any longer. I sank down the walls of the many abandoned hallways in Hogwarts. The haunting stories of these allies didn't seem to be my biggest of problems at that moment. I wasn't here on a dare while my friends made hooting noises. I wasn't going to jump out and say 'Ta-da' any time soon.
It was starting. I was afraid I'd be one of these girls who fall madly in love with their worst enemy, like a typical love story. But what scared me even more was that Malfoy and I had all the qualities of a perfect cliché. We hated each other that fell under, 'There's a thin line between love and hate'. Then there was the fact that we were both from different worlds. And the parents disaproval. Frobidden love was somewhere in there. The whole "denial" factor just finished it off. We just missed the actual love.
For the past few months, ever since April presented the idea of Malfoy and I together, I'd been worrying. Not because I was feeling anything but because April was ALWAYS right. Every fucking time. And I was the sort of girl who doesn't just throw ideas away but actually elaborates and the results for this one were horrifying.
It was a one-hundred percent chance.
When I got the results I cried my self to sleep muttering 'Max, Max, Max' but I screwed it up once and replaced the second Max with...Malfoy.
I . AM . AFRAID. I don't want to be that girl. I don't want to be Rose Malfoy.
A.N: Yay, there you have it the first chapter of Drowning Euphoria. Love it? You think it's a little too much for an into? Leave it in the review and I promise to tend to it :)
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