it's been a while :). enjoy!

Depths of Reflections

You have to be happy in heaven, right?

Massie thinks so.

Because it has to be, but maybe even heaven isn't perfect.

Or maybe it's just her- maybe she doesn't deserve happiness, maybe she doesn't deserve anything but what she gets.

No.

Heaven is happy, heaven is perfect, even for her.

It has to be.

She believes it, because she has to hold on.

It's the only thing left.

e i g h t

She looks in the mirror, and she sees nothing, because things are okay, things aregood, and it doesn't matter, because she doesn't care, she doesn't need to care.

And she hears her dad's voice, calling throughout the spacey manor, and she smile slightly and races through the halls, straight into his open arms.

A box, a shoe box with a pair of jeweled golden flats lays to the side, still fully wrapped.

He left.

Why did he leave?

Didn't he love them?

She loved him.

She missed him.

Yet, she hated him, detested him for what he had done.

Why was he so selfish?

t e n

And she looks in the mirror, and suddenly, everything was flawed, nothing was okay, why was everything so wrong?

The halls are empty, the silence deafening.

She slips on her gold Mui Mui ballet flats, because they make her feel special and loved and golden, and bites her tongue so nothing will come out.

Did he know what he had done?

Did he know the repercussions of his actions?

Well, he did now.

Or maybe he didn't.

He had to, though.

He cared, didn't he?

He loved her.

Right?

t h i r t e e n

She allows herself a quick glance, and regrets it. What was wrong with her? So imperfect, unlovable- maybe that's why they all left. Well, she'd fix that. She'd fix things, once and for all.

Her golden flats didn't fit anymore. She replaced them with pink, but they didn't feel right- so void, so fake, so empty.

A sole finger digs, then comes out, as did it, and she flushes, unable to even spare it a second glance.

Her eyes grew glassy and a drop struggles out, and it falls to the floor quietly.

She took a deepdeep gulp of air, and quietly got up, brushing off the dust and opening the door.

Her eyes purposely avoided the large mirror, despite heavy temptation.

It isn't worth it.

f o u r t e e n

Why couldn't she fix things? Maybe she never could, maybe she was too imperfect, too flawed. Well, she wouldn't give up, she'd win, because she's Massie Block, and Massie Block doesn't accept defeat.

And maybe she'd go too far, maybe she'd skimp on one too many meals, spend one too many sessions before her porcelain alter, but maybe it's worth it.

After all, you have to happy in heaven, right?

f i f t e e n

She lost.

Well. I just wrote that in about thirty minutes. So give me a break, pleasekaythanks? :).