I can hear the bells. Reverberating in my head they threaten to overshadow my whirring, morbid thoughts. Even more than I feel the ice-cold rain as it drenches my skin, my hair, my clothes, I hear the bells. But no, not even the deafening chimes of the bells can slow the turning wheels in the mind of the great L. Even the bells themselves are merely an auditory illusion created by my frighteningly powerful mind. I wish, just this once, that I could simply stop thinking, but sadly, my mind is not capable of such a feat.
I glanced at my surroundings. Though I stood on the roof of headquarters, the sheets of rain prevented me from viewing the view of the city. In fact, I could barely see more than a few feet in front of my eyes. The biting wind threatened to toss me off the ledge I was dangerously close to. I briefly considered giving in... it would be so easy... But no, though I possibly had only a few hours of my life remaining, it would be foolish- cowardly- to waste it.
Yes, I knew that today was my dying day. Although there was only a 3% chance that I would breath my last breath today, I just knew. The same way I knew Light was Kira. The same way I had known all along that this case would be my last... that he would kill me. I instinctively knew. And L has never been wrong. From the moment I saw Light Yagami on the surveillance screen, I knew he would be the death of me. I noticed his perfect display of innocence. His seemingly simple room security system, his unbroken concentration while studying, his deliberate avoidance of the media, his potato chips, and his hidden stash of porn all pointed to the boy's innocence. However, I could see past this facade. Although I had no justification for my suspicions other than his dangerously intelligent eyes and his utterly perfect appearance, he became my number one suspect. After meeting with him in person, my suspicions were confirmed. The degree to which he took our intellectual bantering was not possible for an innocent, even with a mental capacity such as his.
But aside from all reason and logic, it simply had to be him. Light Yagami was Kira because no one else could be. It was possible that there was another being that could compete with his radiant beauty. It was possible that there was another mind that could compute as fast as his own. It was possible that another being could have such a strong sense of justice- however twisted. But not all at once. No, only Light Yagami was as painfully beautiful as he was brilliant while possessing his twisted morals.
I once told him that he was my first friend. And though the quantity of my lies rivals even Light's, this statement was utterly sincere. Just as only Light can be Kira, only Light can be my friend. His mind is captivating, only predictable in its ability to be unpredictable. When we were handcuffed together, we would stay up at night and talk... just talk, until the morning sun stained the neutrality of night, or until my sleep deprived friend would finally succumb to exhaustion. And I was never bored.
Of course, those memories are bittersweet, for although he himself was doused in obliviousness, I was aware of his schemes. When Light was released from confinement and chained to my wrist, he was somehow different than before. The change was in his eyes. His lying, scheming eyes, dark with secrets, and able to instantaneously switch emotions were no more. In their place were two wide, bright eyes, deep and sparkling with innocence. Kira had left Light, but he would return. And when he did, my life would end.
After we caught the third Kira, my Light left. I unlocked Kira from my wrist. So it was over. I could not find enough evidence to arrest Light before my death. To my surprise, a sense of relief washed over me. What was that? Did I truly feel relief at the eminent oncoming of my death? No. Though my life was painfully dull and lonely, I had never been suicidal. So it must have been... yes. I was relieved that I wouldn't be the one to kill Light, my friend. I sighed. Was my sense of justice really that fragile? Was I truly hesitant to put the worst mass murderer in history to death merely because he had shown me kindness and temporarily alleviated my boredom? Yes, yes I was.
I sighed and lifted my face to the weeping sky, willing it to wash away my sorrow, my loneliness. When I lowered my head I was startled to find an approaching figure. Could it be? I squinted... Yes, Light was on the roof with me.
"What are you doing out here, Ryuuzaki?" Although I could hear him clearly, even through the rain, I gestured towards my ear, feigning deafness. I wanted him to come closer. After called out to me once more and receiving no verbal response, Light grunted and ventured out into the rain to meet me.
Quieter this time, "What are you doing Ryuuzaki?"
"Ah, it's nothing worth mentioning," I paused. "The sound of bells..."
"Bells?"
I reluctantly turned to meet his eyes, expecting to meet the dark eyes of Kira, the flashing, murderous eyes that haunted my nightmares. Strangely, Kira did not seem to be present at the moment. Light's eyes were slightly dampened by confusion and discomfort, but they were not Kira's. I inwardly breathed a sigh of relief before continuing. "Yes, the bells sound incredibly noisy today."
"I don't hear anything."
"Oh really? They've been ringing incessantly today! I can't stop thinking about it. Maybe there's a wedding at a church, or maybe..."
"What are you talking about, Ryuuzaki?" Light cut me off. I glanced up to meet his eyes once more. No, I corrected myself, Kira cut me off. "Stop talking nonsense. Let's go inside."
So this was it. Although Light's internal battle with Kira would continue, I would not witness it. For I already knew that Kira would kill me today, and Light would be powerless to stop it.
