Vader stood silently at the door, looking in on the sole occupant. The young man had his back turned on the door, sitting silently in a chair and not moving. His back was slumped, and Vader longed to go to him.
It would be a nightmare, he told himself, Luke doesn't want anything to do with me, and I should accept that. He grew up without me. He never learned to trust me. There's… nothing between us. Our family is pure… biological happenstance. It should have been more, but it's not. He doesn't want to be near me. I've ruined everything, and made myself his greatest enemy.
The boy turned, and Vader flinched. It had been months, but he had been unable to get used to the blank gaze of empty sockets.
"Father?"
Vader winced again. Luke still called him father. He had never deviated from it, and there was always that painful warmth in his voice.
He still deserves to be calling someone his father. Anyone but me. Someone, somewhere, would do a much better job of it than me. He's only a boy. Why did he have to be pulled into all this? He should still be safe, at home.
Luke was still turned in Vader's direction, but when his father didn't answer him, he turned away sadly, "Never mind."
Vader closed his eyes. Luke had never asked for anything he'd been pulled through. He'd never wanted to hurt anyone, Vader was certain. The boy should have been a perfect model Jedi. And a perfect son. Instead, he was waiting alone, waiting for his execution.
He wished Luke could have been allowed his friends as visitors. A boy shouldn't be forced to spend his last hour alone. He was still young, if Vader was correct, he should still have been in school. It hurt Vader to realize that he couldn't imagine the boy warrior sitting in a classroom, learning maths and Aurebesh. Why had the galaxy had to tear Luke's existence apart as it had? How could the Jedi believe that the will of the Force was good when it allowed someone so young and innocent to suffer as Luke had?
The boy's sightless face turned back to Vader, "I know you're here, Father. Please, is there anything I can do for you?"
"What could you do for me?" Vader asked bitterly, hating the Empire for what it had done.
Luke lifted his chained hands to his face, fingers feeling around the empty sockets, "I suppose you're right," he said softly, "I let myself forget for a moment. It's ridiculous, I know," he forced a smile.
"Luke—," Vader started. His voice broke, and he opened his mouth to try again, but Luke's eyelids slid closed and he interrupted in a very small voice.
"Please say that again."
"Say what again?" Vader asked, confused.
"Please say my name again. And… maybe call me son?" he asked hopefully.
Vader's heart broke, "Luke, Son, I didn't mean to hurt you."
Luke sighed and smiled again, "You don't need to lie to me, Father. Force knows enough people already have."
"Son—," he started again.
"Thank you," Luke said, "But you can stop now. I know you're not interested."
"What are you talking about?" Vader demanded.
"I know you don't want a son," Luke said, silently rubbing at one of his wounds, "So you can stop treating me like you do. I just needed to hear it once."
"But Luke, I do want you to be my son."
Luke gave a pained laugh, "It's kind of you to pretend. But please don't feel like you have to."
"Luke?"
"I'm sure you have better things to be doing than standing here, speaking with an enemy. You already know I won't tell you anything, or turn to the Dark Side. You shouldn't be wasting your time here."
"Luke, that's not what I want."
Luke spun towards Vader, anguish in what remained of his face, "Don't lie to me! Please, you have to go back to… whatever it is you should be doing."
"Luke, you're my son. I should be here, with you."
Luke's thin form slumped again, "No. You don't have to be here."
"They said you kept crying for me," Vader argued, confused. Why wouldn't Luke accept some of the care he so desperately needed?
"Just because I cried for it doesn't mean I have to get it."
"But- they showed me clips! You seemed so desperate!"
"I was desperate," Luke said, then, under his breath, "I am desperate, " he spoke up again, "But something you fake isn't going to help. I suppose you've set up cameras?"
"Cameras?" Vader asked in confusion.
"A Sith Lord comforting a rebel Jedi terrorist? It's great propaganda. It was a really good idea, Father, but… it's not real. If you'll just admit that it's an act, I'll play along."
"Play along?"
"I've been a terrible son," Luke murmured, "I need to do one thing for you before... before I die."
"Luke, I'm not asking anything of you at all!" Vader said at last, "I'm the one who hasn't played his part. I wanted to apologize. This is never what I wanted."
"Father," Luke said warningly.
"Luke! I- have I really tarnished your opinion of me so much that you can't believe good of me?" Vader heard his voice get nearly as small as Luke's.
"No! No, not at all. I believe there's good in you," Luke said, "I just… I never dared to hope you'd be so kind to me. Every time you even look my way to do anything but hurt me, I wake up."
"Luke, you're my son. I never wanted this."
Luke turned to Vader and laughed again, the same sad, lost sound, "You think this is what I told my grade three class my life dream was? To be tortured and murdered by my own father?"
Vader knelt on the floor before his son, carefully taking battered hands in his own, "I'm sorry."
Luke sighed again, "No, I'm sorry. You took time out of your life to come be with me, and I'm being miserable. I'm just," he paused, "Scared."
Vader curled his hands around the young man's, "Don't be sorry, Luke, I'm here because I want to be. I didn't want you to be alone."
"Is that why you left me in the first place? Is that why you stood at the door without telling me you were there, trusting me not to know because you took my vision and the Force from me? Is that why you flinch every time you see my face? Is that why you won't even look at me now?"
Vader forced himself to look up into the scared remains of a young child's face. Luke's empty sockets stared back down at him, the scar tissue twisting his face, almost beyond recognition.
"I'm sorry, Luke. I just- I want to remember you the way you were supposed to be."
"What I was before you tried to change me."
"Yes. I should never have," Vader forced himself to reach up and touch what remained of his son's cheek, "Tried to make you anything but what you are."
Luke flinched and the hand Vader still held tightened enough that Vader gasped in surprise. He watched in horror as the boy's face crumpled and Luke made a visible effort to keep himself from touching his mutilated face.
"No! I didn't mean to—," Vader said, "I don't want to hurt you!"
Luke's hands kept tightening, his entire frame shaking violently.
"Would it only make it worse if I held you?"
Luke gritted his teeth, "Please hold me."
Vader swept to his feet, cradling the boy in his arms. Clinging to his father with every ounce of strength he had, Luke wailed helplessly.
Vader quickly lowered the boy again, resting him on the chair as gently as possible.
"You said it wouldn't make it worse!" he said.
"I just asked you to hold me!" Luke forced past the pain, "I knew it would hurt. I just-I couldn't bring myself to care. I really… wanted to be held. It was selfish, I shouldn't have," he turned away, hiding behind his overlong matted hair.
Vader knelt on the floor, trying to catch his breath for a couple of moments before speaking, "I'm so sorry, Luke."
"It's… okay," Luke gasped through his sobs, "I guess you didn't— know," he pulled his shirt aside, and Vader stared in horror at the hole it revealed in his side.
"Luke…"
"It's not so bad anymore. I managed to get the infection out."
"Oh, Luke, what did they do to you?"
"They cut apart anything I didn't strictly speaking need to survive. They laughed and called it a weight loss technique."
Vader stared at the broken child's wounds, longing to heal him, "I could fix this," he offered, "If you would only turn to the Dark Side."
Luke gripped his hand trustingly, and for a moment, Vader found himself hoping that the boy would accept his offer. Then Luke's expression faltered, and he turned away.
"No. I swore I would never help the Sith."
"Luke, you're about to be killed, these monsters have filled you with holes, and I think you're allowed to forget any promises you might have made. Please, let me take care of you."
Luke shook his head, "I can't do that, Father. I- you have no idea how much I want to, but I can't do that. And besides, you can't really heal me."
"I could! I had them… make sure that everything they removed was preserved so you could be healed if you changed your mind."
Luke laughed sadly, "That was kind of you, Father, but it's no use."
Vader sighed, looking away, but continuing to grasp his son's hands.
"I just wish—,"
"I wish we could just be a family," Luke finished, "I wish our lives didn't have to depend on our powers. I never asked for these stupid things anyway!" he shouted, "All I ever wanted was my father!"
Vader sat back on his heels, wanting to cup the boy's cheek in his hand again, but knowing how it hurt poor Luke, "I wish as well."
"I wanted to see you once more," Luke cried, "It was what I always begged for when they tortured me, to be allowed to see my father, and then to die. They probably think this is some great joke that I get to be with you one last time, and I can't see you. I wish I could at least sense you."
Vader reached into the Force and returned part of his son's power.
"I can't give it all back, because you might run," he explained gently.
Luke seemed too happy to hear him, "I can feel you again!" he said, "I know you're really there, you're not just my imagination!"
Vader frowned, hurting for his son. He couldn't imagine being made to live without the Force. The boy seemed so relieved to have his powers returned to him. He's been completely unable to defend himself, Vader realized, I just gave him the first chance he's had in a long time to try to save himself.
"What's wrong?" Luke asked.
"I—," Vader made himself look up into the boy's butchered face, "I hoped I was finished losing people."
Vader imagined his son was trying to smile, "Don't be upset, please. I love you. The people who love us never really leave us. I'll be with you no matter what."
Vader wanted to cry, "Luke, why can you promise these things with such conviction when I've never done you a good turn in our lives?"
Luke seemed to be trying to smile more, "You're my father, I owe you for my life. I wouldn't have had one without you."
Vader tried to smile back.
"Father, please don't be sad. I've had a great life, and I'm very grateful for it."
"No thanks to me," Vader sighed, "I've never been a good father. Just like I was never a good Master. I suppose… I'm just not ready for positions of responsibility like this."
Luke seemed to brighten at the potential subject change, "You had a Padawan?"
"Yes," Vader sighed, "I failed her as well."
"Oh," Luke said softly, "You make it sound so dreadful. It wasn't that bad, I'm sure of it."
"She's probably dead now."
"What happened?" Luke asked, dragging himself off the single chair and sitting on the floor before his father, despite the pain it caused him.
"Even your mother couldn't fix the damage I allowed. She was thrown from the Jedi Order in disgrace, and in trying to help her, I destroyed our bond. She was offered a chance to return to us, but she chose to leave."
Luke looked very said, "I'm so sorry."
"I never saw her again."
"Well, at least you didn't have to kill her."
"You don't understand! If I'd killed her, I would at least know it was fast. The Jedi have many enemies, Luke. They might have done terrible things to her."
Luke laughed, "Yeah, I know."
Vader opened his mouth to retort angrily when he realized what his son meant. His gaze traveled over the young man's broken, twisted form, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
Luke sighed, pressing himself against his father, though Vader felt his body cry in pain.
Then, just as Vader finally accepted that his son needed the hugs, no matter how much they hurt him, a buzzer sounded in the room. Luke stood, looking towards the door, which opened itself. He bowed his head, and began to leave the room.
Vader leapt to his feet, racing after his son, "Luke, wait! Where do you think you're going?"
"That's how they call prisoners for their 'trials'," Luke explained, "Thank you for coming to see me, Father. I love you."
"I love you too, son," Vader said softly, "I wish it didn't have to end like this. You're absolutely certain you would never turn?"
Luke turned back to his father, pressing against him, unable to hug due to his bound hands, "I'm sorry, but yes."
Vader gave the boy a quick squeeze, then let go as the boy began to walk away. Then he hurried after him, finally slowing to Luke's pace and walking alongside, silent. As they neared the chamber, the comparative brightness cast their faces in strange shadows. Vader was painfully reminded of the moment on Geonosis just before he and Padmé had nearly been killed. He wished Luke had a couple hundred-odd Jedi waiting to save him.
As they entered the room, another room superimposed itself atop the one in which Luke's trial would be held, and Vader could almost see the same Jedi Masters who had tried to abandon Ahsoka. It might even have been the same room, he reflected as Luke took one more step forward, and a lift raised him to be just slightly below the jury.
He wished he'd thought to give Luke's hand one last squeeze, to tell him that he was loved, one last time before it was all over for the boy.
The boy blinked silently around at the jury, and Vader thought that the boy might have been relying on how sweet he had once looked, which would, no doubt, have influenced the jury in his favour. But now, the broken face and body, were repulsive, and the habit would not help him.
Vader wanted to cry. A young boy, still no more than a child, being tried for so many terrible, heinous crimes his jury was guilty of to a far greater extent.
He chose this for himself, Vader told himself, I gave him a chance to come back home with me, and he declined. I could have saved him, made him healthy again, but he chose this instead. He said he wanted to come home with me, but he made this choice anyway. Unless he's a Sith, I'm not allowed to care for him.
Not allowed? He thought suddenly, Not allowed?No one has the right to tell me not to care for my son! No one! That poor child needs my help, and I've fought my whole life for permission to care for the ones I love! No one, and I mean no one is going to tell me not to care for my baby now!
He leapt onto the platform, using the Force, and gathered his son in his arms once again.
"He is innocent if you have any idea what is good for you," he told the jury.
Buried against his chest, Luke shook silently, crying.
"My son is a far better person than you. All of you. I will have background checks completed again if you can't accept that my son is at least as innocent as you."
The jury seemed to see the wisdom of agreeing to that statement, as they all began nodding and looking at one another.
"Thank you," Vader said icily, lowering the platform to the ground and setting Luke free, "Come along, Luke. We're going home."