Title : Repeat In Various Forms

Author: The Best Name On The Site

Pairing: Hermione/Fleur

Summary: Was this what it felt like to be in love? As if the world began and ended with her and nothing else mattered? Was this what it felt like to have my heart broken? - Hermione/Fleur

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter series or anything else.

A/N: Consisto magicus means 'stop the magic.'

Chapter 1: It Was Faith

Mum kissed my cheek, hardly having to bend down now, and said, "Be good, all right dear? I'm hoping for no letters this year about you correcting that Binns fellow or calling divination a load of shite."

I said nothing as Dad snorted, "I agree with her on that, Susie. That Trelawney sounds like a right bag." He hugged me, kissed my hair and said, "I want you to have fun this year, pet. Can you do that for your dear old Dad?"

I nodded, grabbing my truck and checking to make sure Crookshanks was tied securely, before pulling my rucksack tighter across my shoulder. "I'll try."

We entered the station, having always had a tradition of hugging and saying our goodbyes outside. There was no need for everyone to see us be emotional and cause a chain reaction. Mrs. Weasley always put up enough fuss for all the other parents combined. We casually entered the hidden platform, and watched the scarlet engine pull up and blow it's horn. Mum hugged me again, slipping my pills into my jeans pocket, and Dad glanced at his watch.

"About to pull off, Susie," He warned her, ruffling my hair. She nodded and said, "Don't forget, dear, your headmaster is letting you go to us the second Saturday of the month for your appointment." I nodded again, and headed onto the train. I saw a group of red-heads and I decided to avoid them rather than try to go past them. Talking to Ron right now wouldn't do me much good. He always managed to put me in a funk and I would be irritable for the rest of the week.

I ducked into an empty carriage, stowed my trunk under the seat, and let Crookshanks out. The bandy-legged cat jumped onto the window sill and curled up into an orange ball. I wished that I could relax like that. The barrage of pills they gave me could do nothing for me but put me into a lazy mood and that was the last thing I needed in Snape's class.

I laid out on the seat, staring at the ceiling. I felt as if I was in Dr. Benson's office and thought about talking about my feelings but even I wouldn't talk to empty air. I pulled out a notebook and started to sketch Crookshanks. He flicked an ear in my direction and went right back to sleep. I was finished soon and pulled my iPod out. I'd gotten it on a trip to America, when they were still trying to find something to entertain me and hold my interest. It didn't, but for long periods of time it'd keep the silence out.

When I turned it on, all I heard was static. I frowned before I realized that this was a magic train. I shrugged and pulled my wand out. There had been a spell I'd been dying to try out and I was now in the custody of Hogwarts so I waved it and said, "Consisto magicus." For good measure, and thinking of the rain, I said, "Protego." It was just like the hex but with a different wand motion to protect the object, not the caster. I pressed play again and was pleased to hear the first strings of "Hey Jude."

The only things that seemed to change were the rain, the shadows that threw themselves against the window, and the songs on my iPod. Sometimes, I saw someone pass by, looking for friends. Occasionally, I chewed gum. My parents would kill me for it, but it was flavourless and tasteless; just a white strip of nothing to help do something. I changed into my new robes and settled into the seat again.

I tucked the iPod into one of my many pockets, stuffed Crookshanks into his cage, and organized my sketchbook and pills into the rucksack. I wasn't that good yet, at drawing, but there was improvement to what I normally did. Practice helped.

The train stopped soundlessly, the only thing alerting anyone that we'd stopped moving the trees outside the window. I hurried out, next to a group of taller sixth years, stealing some of their umbrella space. I entered a carriage, only for Harry, Ron, and Ginny to come in. Harry, I didn't mind, but the youngest Weasley's irritated me. The black-haired boy gave me a smile but Ron yelled, "Well, where have you been? We haven't seen you at all on the train!" Here, he sneered, "Found some new friends that can help you study or something, Granger?"

Harry sat up and hit him on his arm, "Ron, mate, you don't say anything like that to Hermione! She's our friend, not someone to yell at!"

He was lost in the ringing of Ron's loud reasoning and I pulled a white ear-bud out. "I had things to do, Ronald. Getting into a fight with Malfoy, playing chess, and seeing how many pumpkin cakes you can stuff into your mouth wasn't exactly at the top of the list," I told him. His ears glowed red and he sunk into his seat, growling about know-it-alls. I nodded at Harry, who flashed me a thumb's up.

I felt the irritation try to muster itself up, but it gave up the fight less than halfway into it. I hardly felt anything beyond a yawning boredom and a sense that Ron was right. I wasn't good enough to be his or Harry's friend, and I always put a dampening on their fun. It saved their skins, but they probably would have figured something out.

The rain pounded against the top of the rig and I lost myself in the thoughts again. I'd had them before, usually when I was being picked on or talked about, but lately, nothing could kick me out of this hole. Soon, the carriage stopped and we ran out of the rain, slipping into the hallways slick with water and Peeves tossing water balloons at us.

I cursed at him as a particularly heavy one landed on my head, soaking my already frizzy hair and dribbling into my ears, "You bleedin' fuckwit!" Harry addressed him similarly, before giving him the one fingered salute.

On the other end of the hall, I heard Fred yell, "Damned Peeves! Stop! Your acting like a bloody wanker!"

He cackled above us, "Naughty, naughty children! Cursing at old Peevsey like that." The poltergeist then dropped more, making whistling sounds as he did.

The Bloody Baron floated in casually, and Peeves seemed to pale before disappearing. We were ushered into the Great Hall and a round of pepper-up potion was given to all of us with our pumpkin juice. The first years were herded in, sorted, and we all clapped accordingly. The tables were laden with food and I stabbed and poked at what was on my plate. I'd never had much of an appetite and most of it had disappeared this summer. No one else seemed to have this problem. A man with one eye and a limp came in, and although he ate from the head table, he drank from his own flask.

Then the plates were cleared and Dumbledore stood up, "Welcome, new and old students! This year a new line-up will appear. Our Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher, Alastor Moody, is here, and the Tri-Wizard Tournament is going to be held at Hogwarts this year, with the schools Beaubatons and Durmstrang participating." There were gasps, whispers, and plotting as he said that.

He continued, "As such, there will be no quidditch." The resounding shouts and yells made me roll my eyes. It was just a silly sport, not a life or death situation.

Personally, I thought he was mad and senile, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. He said this next part looking mostly at our table, "The Goblet of Fire shall decide who goes in. No one under seventeen can apply. And this year, like every year, the Forbidden Forest is forbidden to all students unless Hagrid is with you." He smiled at us, "And now, I see tired eyes and sleepy yawns so your prefects shall lead you to bed."

I didn't get much sleep that night. I'd never slept a lot, but an hour or two was all that I usually did the first week or so at Hogwarts. The rest of the night was spent staring at the ceiling, or drawing. Not exactly the productive start my parents wanted from me. Although I didn't want to, I showered, got dressed, brushed my teeth so hard I bruised my gums, and headed to the Great Hall for a breakfast I wouldn't eat but I wasn't allowed to take my pills on an empty stomach.

I'd figured out how to charge my iPod by using magic as electricity so it was full and I listened to it at breakfast. Harry showed curiosity about it so I let him see it as I ate half a piece of toast before swallowing my handful of pills with some of the pumpkin juice. I offered him an earbud and we listened to "Just Watch The Fireworks" by Jimmy Eat World, an American band, as Ron came stomping in on his elephantine feet, laughing at something Lavender said.

Lavender and Parvati had recently discovered that boys weren't alien based life-forms and they'd gone from talking about their hair and nails to their hair, nails, which boys were cute, and who was going to marry who. It was a headache inducing change. Most of the time they were fun, if a little scatter-brained and would do their work after only a half hour of nagging. Sure, we were growing older but I really would miss them as they'd been during my second and third year.

Our time-tables were handed out and the entire fourth year groaned. Double potions with the Slytherins was no one's idea of a good evening.

"God," I said, "Snape's face up close is the last thing you want to see just before dinner." Seamus and Dean howled at what I'd said, and even nervous Neville giggled slightly before Snape caught his eye and he lost most of his colour.

Sitting in class meant that I had to actually do it. I found it repetitive, boring, and several times I nearly stopped in the middle of a wand motion. Both Flitwick and McGonagall stopped me and asked if I was all right. I said I was fine and slumped my way to my next class. If nothing else, arithmancy proved to be a good nap. I typically slept in it anyway since Professor Vector practically put the answers on the board. Runes tended to become English if I focused on them hard enough and I could sleep after that as well.

I'd have slept in DADA but Moody's constant shouts of, "Constant vigilance!" made it almost impossible.

The week passed in a blur of wand movements, homework, droning voices, and shouts. Later on, Parvati told me that I muttered, "Constant vigilance," in my sleep. I told her she talked about the 'great kill', something Treleway predicted once an hour about the ending of the human race by a surge of flobberworms, Hagrid's newest project. She hit me and I tickled her until she nearly wet her pants.

Potions, however, proved a different ball game. I was drowsy from my last nap and the pills, and Snape always demanded all our attention. I was yawning when he strode in and said, in his quiet voice that meant your ears had to be perked at all times, "Am I boring you already, Miss Granger, Mister Potter, to have you yawning? Or have your Gryffindor escapades finally caught up with you?"

Harry flushed angrily, and I would have pinched him if I felt up to it. Instead, I propped myself against the counter and stared at the board behind him. I narrowed my eyes at it; was it just me or was there a layer of grease on it? It seemed blurrier than usual. Then again, everything seemed blurry...

Parvati glanced back, always ready for drama and said, "Professor, Hermione doesn't look so good."

He glanced at me, "No worse than usual." The Slytherin's laughed at his joke and the world started to tilt.

Harry touched my arm, and called my name.

That was when I laid the side of my face against the cold, black counter, smashing my nose into it first. The taste of thick, coppery liquid going down my throat made me feel as I had as a child when I swallowed a fist full of pennies. Unpleasant but as if something might change, as if I would alert someone about me. It was hot in here, hot enough to be mistaken for Hell, and my eyes drooped even lower. It was black then.

Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey was looking me over. When she saw my eyes were open she tutted and said, "Miss Granger, this barrage of pills aren't self-medicated are they?"

I told her, "My parents sent a letter to Professor Dumbledore about it." Somehow, I get the feeling that the letter had been 'interrupted' along with the other changes over the summer. My parents were divorcing and as such, they'd sent a letter to Dumbledore about the possible effects on my attitude later on in the year according to Dr. Benson.

She sighed and mumbled something about Muggle's and Headmasters and proceeded to shove potion after potion down my throat. Apparently, she slipped in a dreamless sleep among them and I only realized I'd gone to sleep because the sky was black and Crookshanks was laying on my side.

Wide brown eyes stared down at me and I blinked before I sat up. An odd little creature, small, covered in rags, with bat-like ears and a beakish mouth looked at me before declaring, "You is Winky's new mistress."

I stared at it, "Pardon?"

"You's a powerful witch and you's charmed Winky betters, so you's Winky's new mistress," It nodded and sat on the floor. It shortly gave a hiccup and toppled over into a snoring sleep.

I shook my head and laid back on the bed. From here, there was a window and the stars were so bright I could make out parts of constellations. It was nice, being here alone. The unusual creature snored loudly and Crookshanks claws dug into the duvet before he crawled onto my chest, stared at me, then curled his head under my chin. Well, almost alone.

I closed my eyes again and wondered how many times Crookshanks purrs would sound at the same time Winky, at least I thought that was it's name, would snore. I was on four hundred seventy one when I fell asleep again.

The creature was still there the next morning with a tray of breakfast that looked wonderful but I found unappetizing. I shook my head but it held it's place and said, loudly, "If Mistress is to be in the hospital wing then she needs to eat or Winky will beat her head in with the tray."

So it was a girl, I thought. Madam Pomfrey came in, and said, surprised, "Miss Granger, I didn't think that you would be the type to have a personal house-elf. Aren't you a Muggle-born?"

I replied, "Yes."

"And?" She said, raising her eyebrow.

I shrugged.

She made a humming sound, "I'll have to check your magic levels as well then, after this potion and your physical."

I paled slightly, "Physical?" I was rarely examined and although Madam Pomfrey had seen me a lot in the years, never had there been a need to undress me.

She nodded, "Mister Potter mentioned your drowsiness and that you didn't seem to be up to your usual par this week. You've been given an excuse to miss classes if this persists until Monday, and your parents are on their way."

I nodded at her, swallowed the bronze liquid that burned, and she took her wand out, muttering spells and looking at a piece of parchment, before nodding, although she still looked puzzled.

"Very good, Miss Granger," She said, "but do you have any other witches or wizards in your family?"

I shrugged, "I thought we were all Muggles."

"The potion may need to be brewed again. Stand up and take your gown off," She ordered. Even with the warning, I found it extremely embarrassing to undress in front of her. The nurse's mouth pursed slightly, and she waved her wand at me, before looking at the parchment again.

Her frown became deeper, "How much are you eating, Miss Granger?"

I shrugged slightly, "I'm never hungry, ma'am."

She sighed again, and said, "An appetite provoker then." She went into the back again, and I put the flimsy gown on again. I wanted to be naked again, it was suddenly so hot. Madam Pomfrey came out, just as my parents came with the headmaster, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Snape.

The school nurse ignored them and watched me drink the potion, nearly gagging at the horrible taste. The leathery creature placed the food in front of me. I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be instantaneous or what, but I still wasn't hungry. I shook my head, and pushed the tray back. I half-way wished I hadn't. The metal seemed to burn in my hands and I glanced at my palms, only to find that they were the same fleshy pink as before.

When I looked up from my hands, McGonagall frowned, "You gave her the appetite potion?"

The elder woman nodded, "Just now."

Snape looked at my parents and then me, "She doesn't much look like you two." McGonagall looked ready to hit him and Dumbledore's eyes didn't twinkle as much as normal. But then again, Snape was rarely subtle around his students.

I understood what he was talking about, though. My mother was only slightly taller than me, and Dad less than a thumb's length taller than her. Mum's hair was black and straight, and Dad's hair was almost as red as a Weasley's and also straight. The only way my hair could be called straight was if you cut it off and doused it with nuclear waste and even then it would probably fight back. They were both pale, which came from spending most days in their office. I had a 'Mediterranean complexion' as one of my primary school teacher put it, when doing a geometry lesson.

Mum's mouth thinned but she remained silent. Dad sat on the edge of my bed and stroked Crookshanks fur. Dumbledore stepped up and said, "So, what's the problem with one of our brightest students, Poppy?"

She sniffed, "A lack of appetite, an overwhelming urge to sleep, no ambition to do anything, and a sour disposition, most likely due to not exercising her magic enough."

Both of my teachers looked ready to spring to their feet and lash her. Snape growled out, "There is no need to do any silly wand waving in potions, as you well know Poppy."

McGonagall's teeth clenched so hard, I could see her jaw-line, "Transfiguration is a subtle art and any overeager student might hex his or her hand off."

She waved a hand, "I never said they weren't. I simply stated a fact."

"So what do you suggest?" Dumbledore asked her again.

The white-haired woman shrugged, "Normally, more classes but the last time that happened, it wasn't exactly pretty. I suppose a duelling class."

All the adults turned to her, "What?"

She rolled her eyes, "Magic is a temperamental thing and if she's holding in all her emotions, then her magic might not interact like it should. Duelling should help get rid of her frustration or whatever the problem is."

The woman turned to me, "Do a spell." I took my wand from the bedside table and waved it. The tray in front of me vanished. Winky grabbed her ears, howled, and twisted her hands until I thought her ears might pop off.

"Stop!" I yelled at her. She stopped moving, her mouth still open. I turned to Dumbledore to ask him what to do about her, but I saw he was also frozen. They all were. "Oops," I muttered then said, "Move."

Dumbledore rubbed his chin, "Wordless magic; very advanced, Hermione."

Winky's howls resumed and I covered her mouth. "Don't make me charm your mouth closed, Winky," I warned her. She stopped but when I let go, banged her head against the metal rails. I rubbed my temples; a headache was starting to form and the heat continued to rise. "Winky, stop doing that," I commanded. She stood straight up and remained silent.

Snape's eyes narrowed, "Why is she following your orders? Winky is employed with Hogwarts and as such, should only respond to the current headmaster."

I shrugged again.

"You have a mouth," Mum snapped, "Use it." I may have almost been her height, but I wasn't going to try her temper.

I said, "I don't know, professor."

He nearly sneered, "If you could be this buttoned-up when your parents aren't here, it'd be a blessing."

If your hair could lose a coat of grease or four, my entire House would praise you, I thought.

Dumbledore coughed in what could be considered a poorly concealed laugh before saying, "I think that's enough of that Severus. I told Winky if she found someone suitable, she could be their house-elf. Miss Granger is a responsible student," He paused, the 'most of the time' sounding in the air, "and of very good character. I think Winky should be fine."

He really was off his rocker. I'd tell Ron, but that meant I'd have to talk to him and that really wasn't a good idea. I wouldn't tickle him into submission like I did the other girls. That duelling thing was beginning to sound better.

Dumbledore smiled at all of us, "I think that settles things. Hermione will train with our resident duelling expert, the Bloody Baron, and Poppy will give her a few potions. Every week, she'll see Poppy and you'll get an assessment of her health."

The Bloody Baron was a ghost; how was I supposed to train with him being insubstantial?

The headmaster frowned, "I suppose I didn't think of that, Miss Granger. How does training with Severus sound?"

Snape gave me a look of pure murder. He would kill me and make it look like an accident.

"I'll train with the Bloody Baron," I piped up.

He shook his white mane, "No, no, now that I think about it, Alastor is the better choice."

My ears would ring for weeks, I was sure about it. And if they didn't, he'd probably get overeager and hex me ten ways to next Friday. The headmaster was out for my blood, I just knew it.

McGonagall stood up quickly, "I will not have her train with a paranoid ex-Auror who hexes everything that moves."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled a little more, "Oh, not everything, Minerva. From what I hear, that cat wasn't really a cat and it deserved it."

"What'd it do?" Dad asked.

McGonagall looked at him dryly, "It looked at him on his blind side."

"How'd he see it then?" Mum asked, curious. There was a hint of dread to her face and I knew it was reflected on mine.

Snape snorted, "He didn't."

Forget off his rocker; Dumbledore needed to be in a loony bin with Moody in a cell next to him.