A/N: Hi all. I was feeling guilty for not writing anything more on my untitled story (sorry!) and than I went to crew work-out….well in the middle of 100 sit-ups this popped into my head. After crew I ran home (all sweaty and everything) typed this up and am posting it. Please excuse grammatical/spelling errors. English is not my first language and Microsoft Word has been acting up.
And apologies for the long Authors Note. ;-)
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Crucio: An essay in pain
Crucio.
Just a word.
Crucio.
It shouldn't mean so much, as much as any word, be it shoe, wand, or betrayal.
Betrayal.
Significance they're too, but not as much, not nearly as much.
It is only now that I can say it without going into mental hysterics, it still causes me to shudder. The pain involved cannot be described, but I will attempt to and god and you, gentle reader, forgive me for this.
Forgive me.
The first wave of pain is like stings, stinging everywhere. Like bee stings multiplied by thousands and happening everywhere simultaneously.
The second wave is worse if that is possible. Worse. It is like lighting striking you over and over. Maybe it is, the bodies jump like frogs do in muggle school experiments.
The last part.
It is as though your organs inside your very body are being torn out. Being pulled out by some mysterious hand. Being ripped like children rip wrapping paper. This is the worst part. The part when you hope for death, hope to die just so this pain won't go on anymore.
From the first time you feel this curse you are always thinking of it. Thinking, wondering if you will feel it again.
But you always feel it.
You feel it in your dreams, when you're eating breakfast, talking to a friend, at a funeral. Anytime and all the time you feel it again, over and over again.
And you hope, oh how you hope, you hope that you'll never have to hear that word again.
You hope and you pray.
Pray to what? How could a god let things like I've seen happen? Is this some cruel joke on the universe? Does god have a sense of humor?
I stopped believing in a higher power a long time ago. But sometimes I pray, to what or whom I don't know, but maybe someone will hear.
Someone might hear the screams.
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I'm not sure who this is speaking, I think Snape or Malfoy Sr. Any thoughts on this? Mention it in your review! (Yes I know that's an evil ploy)
To any person who is horrified that this character I wrote about doesn't believe in god: Deal with it, some people don't (I happen to be wondering) and if you have an issue with it you shouldn't be here anyway so your flames will be used to roast marshmallows.
Feedback is a drug…feed my addiction.