I believed wishing on a falling star, would one day getting me closer to my dreams and would grant me all the wishes I desires and truly wanted. But every falling star has come down and crashed, granting me all but one wish, the wish of happiness and freedom. The feeling to have no emotions, no attachments to the one person I feel I wished I never adored or fell for. I feel like I'm in a fairytale, those stupid books that always had a guy and a girl who adored one another, that fought through every challenge yet always having a happy ending, and always end up together. In this fairytale, it has no happy ending. After all, it isn't fair to love someone when they are in love with someone else.
What was the point of me falling through this well? There seems no point anymore. I seem to be misplaced, misguided and being here out of all places makes no sense to me. I don't believe it was fate, or love.. I know Inuyasha strongly believes it, with all his heart. He may not say it but inside and out I can tell just by looking straight through him. He doesn't have to say a word to admit it to me. But why did I have to be the foolish girl that had to fall in love with him, and face all this? Why couldn't it be another girl? Why did it have to be me? Apart of me desperately is crying to move on, but yet is holding on to it like I need him more than I realize. I just wish I didn't care anymore… I don't want to be in love with someone who claims they care fully about me, yet runs back to the girl he first adored.
I remembered I did wish on a star for love.. To find someone who truly cares about me, and that would love me for me, no matter what the case. It happened just before the incident of the well. That well use to be so vacant, so useless until that very day. Maybe he's the one.. But what am I thinking? When I need to be mad at him, I can't be. I just feel I need to be embraced by him, waiting for him to whisper in my ear saying how much he cares about me.When I want to be alone, he never lets me. He always assist on him walking by my side, no matter if I give him the slip or the attitude he never gives in or up on me. Sometimes I just want to give into him, but yet I'm afraid one day my heart will forever stay broken, and never will heal. But, only by the hands that once broke them.
And sometimes I believe it's for the best to be here in this place, and along side of him. My heart my break, and yes my eyes will filll with tears but no matter what I can't escape his embrace, and I hope it stays that way. I use to wonder what life would be like without him, and I can't even imagine life without him anymore. But I'll always surrender to him with open arms, even if I feel like I'm falling.. he'll always be there to catch me. There will never be a doubt anymore about him. He makes me feel like I'm his whole entire world, everything he needs. But I know for sure, he's my world and everything I could want and need. Inuyasha…falling for you was the best mistake I ever made.
It was hard enough to close my eyes, knowing the best love I had, torn my heart to pieces leaving me to misery and uncertainty. Waking up clueless, thinking my life and everything is where I had left it. Rudely wakened by another girl, grasping onto me for dear life like there was nothing else to keep her feet on the ground. She opened up to me, holding on to me like I was the only thing left she could grasp onto. She always said she felt this way, but her eyes were telling me a completely different story. I never thought I needed anyone but myself, but Kagome proved me wrong. No matter how many times I'd shove her away she'd always run back to me, and would never dare back off or give up. Anytime I wanted to be alone, she would always walk by my side trying to prove someone like me didn't deserve to be alone. Before, I couldn't tell what she was exactly up to. I didn't know whether she was capable of hurting me, or if she was going to fill the empty hole that was once there.
No matter what I tried to tell myself, something made me stay beside her. Something told me she was worth it..worth more than I imagined. She came out of no where, and she brought me more than happiness, she brought me more than I could ever imagine. I always kept everything to myself, but she showed me a lot of things, proved to me everything would be ok in the end. Something that I was one running away from, I have began to run to. She showed me it's alright to care and be myself, and she was right. She may not be the girl I use to love, but she's the girl that came and saved me from myself.
Kagome means more than anything else. She's the one who keeps me in line and always the one to give me advice and brings me to my feet again. She's the one who has the patience's and time to handle me and nobody else. She's always there for me, and I'll always be there with her. Before it seemed like a mistake to fall in love, but now it's more than a mistake.. it's something beautiful…A mistake I would love to make over and over again..
-End-