In her teenage years, Santana Lopez had regarded everything that happened between her and her best friend as accidental.

She never meant to kiss Brittany for the first time; she was simply lonely. To let her kiss her again? Well seeing as though they had already done it once, it really made no difference, right? It was then only polite to touch Brittany's boobs, let her fingers run through soft blonde hair, nip gently at her neck and trace patterns onto Brittany's sleeping back. Brittany's feelings would have been hurt otherwise.

It was accidental that as they came into their Junior year Santana`s heart would flutter at seeing Brittany twist and twirl on stage, that her stomach would jump into her chest as their thighs grazed and Brittany`s giggle echoed in her ear. Santana never meant for her pulse to quicken as blue eyes searched for her in Glee club, cracking a smile when she spotted the free seat next to her.

None of this was on purpose.

But now, as Santana lay in bed next to her precious best friend, she wondered what her life would be like without Brittany.

It seemed alien, difficult to get her head round.

Memories ran through Santana`s head, the most important memories of her life. And there she was, in either foreground or background; Brittany waiting patiently for Santana to realize that she was and has been waiting there for her entire life.

First day of school: Brittany flicked her ponytail a bit too violently causing Santana`s Lego mountain to clatter to the floor. Angry Spanish flew violently from the untameable brown haired terror but met no reaction from the blonde stranger. Blue eyes stared blankly back into angry brown ones, waiting for her to stop. Spanish came to an angry halt, furious that this little girl wasn't crying or telling a teacher on her. Even at that age, Santana could tell she was being a total bitch. As soon as the words stopped, the little blonde girl began picking up every single piece of Lego that had been dropped, placing them, one by one, into Santana's stunned lap.

First boyfriend: Bradley the Bully was his class nickname. An angry fourth grader who stole lunches, pulled pony tails and swore maliciously at teachers. He had grabbed Santana gruffly one lunchtime and demanded they hold hands in the playground. Too terrified not to adhere, she had let her tiny hand be smothered by his, squeaking to anyone that asked, that they were dating now. That night she cried into Brittany`s shoulder as they brushed the hair of their dolls. The next day Santana saw Brittany pull Bradley into an empty classroom before school started. He never bothered Santana again.

First kiss: On Brittany`s twelfth birthday, she and Santana went on a special trip to the Zoo. They wandered around the whole day with Mr and Mrs Pierce, waiting patiently in line so Brittany could watch the elephants being fed. As a special birthday treat, she and Santana were also allowed to see the tigers at their dinner time. Brittany declared it the best day of her life, beaming at her parents and thanking them over and over again. That night, she and Santana lay in bed and she linked their hands together before saying goodnight. Santana wondered why she was doing this and turned to face her. Quickly, so that Santana didn't have time to stop her, Brittany swooped down and placed her lips on those of her best friends. Santana could hear her blood roaring in her ears but kept her lips where they were. Brittany murmured a "thank you" onto Santana's lips, pulled back, turned over and was asleep within minutes, leaving Santana to grin herself goofily to sleep.

First more than kiss: The first Saturday of high school, new captain of the football team, Noah Puckerman, held a party. It quickly became apparent, much to Santana's disbelief, that she was considered hot now. Boys who were years older than her leered when she entered a room, wolf whistling whilst never actually making an attempt to talk to her. This made Santana uncomfortable. That night, Puckerman latched his lips onto her neck in the middle of his crowded living room. The lights were off and bodies moved to the heavy bass that surrounded her. His hands pushed roughly up her skirt, fumbling as he awkwardly slumped his shoulders to make himself the right height to do this. His hands pushed and poked painfully, making Santana wince in discomfort. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, feeling unwelcome tears well up. Puckerman took no notice of her, continuing to explore before coming to a rather abrupt and awkward end. He smirked in the low light, assumingly taking the tears in Santana`s eyes for those of joy? When he left, Santana walked in the opposite direction, desperate to put as much distance as she could between herself and his tactless hands. Brittany was sat on the stairs bopping her head to the beat, staring idly into space. Santana plopped down beside her, waking her from her own little world. Brittany`s face cracked into a wide smile and her hand settled itself softly on Santana`s thigh. The feeling of her smooth palm on her leg now in comparison to the one that had been there earlier made Santana clamp her eyes shut once again, desperate not to let the tears win.

First sex: Titanic was nearly over, tears were cascading down Brittany`s face. Santana sat quietly, knowing it best to just leave her to it until it was over. Then she would fetch some tissues, cuddle Britt until she stopped crying, grab them some ice cream and put a funny film on. It was just how the routine goes. As Celine professed that her heart would go on, Santana made to get up, spotting the Kleenex balanced on the arm of the other sofa. She was stopped however by Brittany grabbing her wrist. "Santana, I want you to promise me something. San, please never leave me? I couldn't stand to be like Rose. I know you won't die… Well, I don't think you will. But just… Never leave me, Santana. Not even if you did give me a great big necklace." Brittany sniffed to an end, her hand still clamped round Santana's wrist, tears streaking her cheeks and her blonde hair falling in curls around her face. For the first time in her life Santana was lost for words. She near enough collapsed onto Brittany, desperate to show her that she could never possibly leave her, even if she wanted to. Their lips crashed together, Santana unable to control her desperation. Brittany`s hand balled in her hair, lips mashed into a furious lock. Santana quickly realized that there was only one way to show Brittany that she would never leave her. Words weren't enough. So in a tangled struggle of limbs, whispered I love you`s, desperate hands and drowning lips, Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce, for the first time in both of their lives, came home.

Coming out: Before she left for school that morning, Santana drafted a note to her parents. A note stating that she and Brittany had run away. She didn't specify where because if that note was going to be used, she would never want her parents to find her. Her legs were jelly as she walked through those halls, approaching her locker. And there she was. Waiting for her. Brittany stood, eyes searching for Santana in the crowd. As soon as their eyes met, a bashful grin made its way to Brittany's face, and, to everyone's surprise, Santana's too. Brittany began walking towards Santana so they met dead in the middle of the corridor. Moment of truth I suppose? Don't pussy out now, Santana. You promised her. Brittany lent down before Santana could even contemplate changing her mind and pressed a gentle kiss to her girlfriend's lips. Decision made. Heads turned, teachers whispered, boys awkwardly tried to pretend like they weren't looking, but Brittany stayed planted where she was after pulling back from the kiss, eyes trained on Santana's so that she would not look anywhere else but her. Brittany was scared that if Santana saw people noticing she would freak out. It could not have been more different. In Santana's mind, something became whole. Finally after years of pretending she had managed to let everybody else (and more importantly, herself) see who she really was. With a shit eating grin plastered across her face, Santana proudly reached for Brittany's hand and headed straight for her locker where she would get her books ready for her first full day with her girlfriend. That note on her parent's fridge was never seen.

So, as Santana lay here, a year on from the day she came out with her beautiful girlfriend, she could not believe how scared she must have been to think of her relationship with Brittany as an accident. To actually believe that the things that happened in her past were not meant to happen, that they weren't right or important.

Brittany stirred in her sleep, her hair rustling against the sheets as a little groan rumbled in her throat. Her eyes opened a fraction at first, but were rubbed clean and widened fully when she noticed her girlfriend watching her.

"I had a dream that you and Lord Tubbington brought me Breadstix last night" Brittany giggled, rubbing her hands over her face.

Santana chuckled. "Well, Britt, we can do that if you'd like? We haven't been out in a while, wanna go tonight? I`m not sure Lord Tubbington can come though, sweetie"

Brittany frowned. "Why not? Hmm, maybe we should stay in. I don't want to upset him; he`s been losing weight recently and has been spending far too much time on your Xbox. Maybe we should restrict him to only half an hour a night? I know you and him don't have the best of relationships, San. He told me that you wouldn't open the window for him to poop yesterday"

Santana fought back a snort of laughter. Instead she placed a soft kiss on Brittany`s neck and whispered that they could stay in.

In fact, Santana could stay in forever. Right here she had everything she ever needed and more. Everything that was meant for her lay in this room… except maybe that damn cat. He could get out.