,.~*^Will^*~.,
It's hard to sleep at night thinking of her. Her meaning Lyra. Night is like a horror movie for me. Laying here in bed, with Kirjava cuddeled against me, I have way too much time on my hands.
Way too much time to think. Of her. No one understands, really. They say they do. They don't. I find the love of my life and she's taken away from me. I regret leaving that window open for the dead. Sometimes
I feel that it would've been much more worth it to have that one window so I could go to Lyra's world. And she could come to mine. I long for her so much. I love her and always will. There is no other. I know she would
want me to be happy, but I can't help but wonder if she's going through the same thing...
"Will," Kirjava says to me, feeling my thoughts. "You can't keep torturing yourself like this. She wouldn't want it."
"I know," I say. That's the only thing I can say. I know she wouldn't want it. But how can I help it? How can Kirjava keep telling me the same thing, night after night. And then I feel a sense of shame because Kirjava is part of me,
and she must be struggling just as much as me. I know she missed Pantalaimon just as much as I miss Lyra. Lyra...I shiver to even think of that name. Why is love so cruel to the two people who represent it?
~*^*~.,.~*^*~Lyra~*^*~.,.~*^*~
"Pan, It en't the same anymore. We can't do this!" I was on the brink of hopelessness. Pantalaimon leaped to my arms and tried as best he could to comfort me. It had been 2 years since Will and I's bitter parting. And yet I was still empty. He was still the biggest part of me.
Sometimes I wish time would stop. I wish I could just smash everything to pieces. I know it en't right, but I can't help it! I scold myself for not loving Will every second that I could. Of course, I didn't know that after everything was done, we'd never see each other again. But
I cry thinking we could've done more. I supose Pan and I will be alone forever. It's not that no one likes me. It's that I love no one but Will. And how could I love another? After everything. He saved my life billions of time. It just en't right that we have to be seperated like this!
I collaspe onto my bed, weeping into my pillow. I want him to hold me close. I want him to tell me he's here and he isn't going anywhere. But he can't because he's worlds apart!
My crying gradually subsides to the occasional hiccup and I feel Pan breahting lightly and I can tell he's asleep. Asleep like I wish I were.
Asleep, huh? That's when I think of something brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Will and I promised we would wait for each other in the land of the dead...So...
"Pan! Pan, dear! Wake up!" I shout shaking the once-sleeping form of Pantalaimon. Pan looks at me, he knows what I'm thinking. And of course, he shakes his head.
"Lyra..How could you even think of it? You know Will and Kirjava would be furious with us!" he let a soft growl escape his chest as I roll my eyes. "Oh Pan, don't you see? All our suffering would be over! All we'd have to do is wait for Will!" I cried.
"Don't you see? We're already waiting, Lyra! Nothing would change!" he retorts. But I refuse to give in and after more shouting and arguing, it's settled. We're going to kill ourselves..
Okay, this is a little out there and I know I'm going to get alot of flames but it sounded so angsty! I couldn't resist. Please R/R...
It's hard to sleep at night thinking of her. Her meaning Lyra. Night is like a horror movie for me. Laying here in bed, with Kirjava cuddeled against me, I have way too much time on my hands.
Way too much time to think. Of her. No one understands, really. They say they do. They don't. I find the love of my life and she's taken away from me. I regret leaving that window open for the dead. Sometimes
I feel that it would've been much more worth it to have that one window so I could go to Lyra's world. And she could come to mine. I long for her so much. I love her and always will. There is no other. I know she would
want me to be happy, but I can't help but wonder if she's going through the same thing...
"Will," Kirjava says to me, feeling my thoughts. "You can't keep torturing yourself like this. She wouldn't want it."
"I know," I say. That's the only thing I can say. I know she wouldn't want it. But how can I help it? How can Kirjava keep telling me the same thing, night after night. And then I feel a sense of shame because Kirjava is part of me,
and she must be struggling just as much as me. I know she missed Pantalaimon just as much as I miss Lyra. Lyra...I shiver to even think of that name. Why is love so cruel to the two people who represent it?
~*^*~.,.~*^*~Lyra~*^*~.,.~*^*~
"Pan, It en't the same anymore. We can't do this!" I was on the brink of hopelessness. Pantalaimon leaped to my arms and tried as best he could to comfort me. It had been 2 years since Will and I's bitter parting. And yet I was still empty. He was still the biggest part of me.
Sometimes I wish time would stop. I wish I could just smash everything to pieces. I know it en't right, but I can't help it! I scold myself for not loving Will every second that I could. Of course, I didn't know that after everything was done, we'd never see each other again. But
I cry thinking we could've done more. I supose Pan and I will be alone forever. It's not that no one likes me. It's that I love no one but Will. And how could I love another? After everything. He saved my life billions of time. It just en't right that we have to be seperated like this!
I collaspe onto my bed, weeping into my pillow. I want him to hold me close. I want him to tell me he's here and he isn't going anywhere. But he can't because he's worlds apart!
My crying gradually subsides to the occasional hiccup and I feel Pan breahting lightly and I can tell he's asleep. Asleep like I wish I were.
Asleep, huh? That's when I think of something brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Will and I promised we would wait for each other in the land of the dead...So...
"Pan! Pan, dear! Wake up!" I shout shaking the once-sleeping form of Pantalaimon. Pan looks at me, he knows what I'm thinking. And of course, he shakes his head.
"Lyra..How could you even think of it? You know Will and Kirjava would be furious with us!" he let a soft growl escape his chest as I roll my eyes. "Oh Pan, don't you see? All our suffering would be over! All we'd have to do is wait for Will!" I cried.
"Don't you see? We're already waiting, Lyra! Nothing would change!" he retorts. But I refuse to give in and after more shouting and arguing, it's settled. We're going to kill ourselves..
Okay, this is a little out there and I know I'm going to get alot of flames but it sounded so angsty! I couldn't resist. Please R/R...