Hey everyone :) This is the third time I've had to delete and repost this chapter hahah cause I kept redesigning it and deciding the time wasn't right yet. But now I think I'm ready. This story is a "super original" Sirius/OC romance woo... but yeah don't pass it off just yet please :) I have another story on my other account but its sort of on permanent hiatus haha. This character, Lynn, is definitely one more suited to Sirius than my other character I think.
Before we get started I have a huuuuge warning to post here. This story is full of angst, drugs, sex, alcohol, self-harm and much swearing. It definitely earns its M rating. So if that stuff offends you, you might be better off giving this one a miss. Sorry :(
Ch 1 The Resident Psychopath
I stood, high as a kite, facing an angry, bald psychopath who had just tipped twenty galleons worth of my firewhiskey stash down the drain, wondering how I got myself into situations like these.
"Lynnette, after serious consideration, I've come to the conclusion that you are actually retarded." The bald psychopath spat.
"At least I don't have a stick up my arse." I giggled, imagining Lily Evans with a stick up her arse.
"It's the FIRST NIGHT BACK. What possessed you to bring drugs and alcohol onto the school grounds after last year's final warning, get high and drunk by the smell of it," she sniffed the air, shuddered and continued, "and then try to convince me that Black had confunded you when I KNOW he's been with Sadie all night? Oh yes and let's not forget that you actually cursed all my HAIR OFF when I tipped the rest of your illegal substances out the window. Did you really think you could pull that off? Do I look like an idiot?"
It took literally every ounce of self-restraint I had not to reply YES to that question.
"Um…hic- no…?" I stated, unconvincingly.
"LILY-KINS!" James Potter tumbled through the portrait hole holding a rather large number of pies, stacked up high.
"And where do you think you've been? It's past midnight!" She huffed.
James, my loyal drinking buddy, began to giggle. "You're-hic- bald, Killy-lins! I mean… hic- uh… LILY-KINS! Lynnie and I got the munchies."
"We thought we'd bring in NEWT year with-hic- style!" I chimed.
"Is that a joint you're holding, Potter? You are HEAD BOY." She said, aghast and then turned to glare at me. I held my hands up in surrender. That was James' joint. I'd finished mine already.
"Um… no?" He said, just as unconvincingly as me. "Hey! I have an idea! Go- hic- out with me?"
Lily Evans screamed in frustration, turned on her heel and stormed back up the girls' staircase.
I grinned. Bald Psychopath was gone… for now…
"She's just jealous because I'm sexier. Italians are the sexiest. Way sexier than English redheads." I sniffed and sat down by the fireplace.
"You lie! Plus just cause your parents are Italian that doesn't make you." James giggled again and joined me with the pies.
"You don't count as an objective third party… thing… and-hic- yes, you retard, that's exactly what makes me Italian!" I pulled a tongue and reached for a pie, managing to bump them all over.
"Oh shit! LYNN! The pies!" James yelled and tried to keep the tower of stolen pies from falling over… and failed.
This, in my stoned mind, was the seemingly most hilarious thing to ever happen in the entirety of the universe. I laughed hysterically in the face of James covered in steaming hot pork. He leaped around the common room, trying to save himself from burns, bumping into furniture and walls partly because he was smashed and partly because he'd lost his glasses in the struggle. And I laughed harder.
"You're a bitch!" James gasped, still hopping around.
"You know you love me." I winked and rescued his half finished joint from the mess of pork pies.
A few drunken attempts at burn healing spells later, James was mostly healed and the pie was mostly cleaned up. Mostly.
"I can't believe you stole my weed. That's like… officially against the rules of friendship." James shook his head with disbelief. I cracked up again and blew him a kiss.
"Oh save it for Pads." He groaned and dragged himself to his feet.
"Eeewwwww! Gross! Sirius Black!" I waved my hands around like I was trying to dissipate an annoying smell. Luckily for James, I was yet to come down from my high or that comment would've led straight to a carefully aimed jinx.
"You two are going to get married and have little babies with amazing hair. It's going to happen." He said seriously. It was true. I did have amazing hair. It was my crowning glory. And as much as it pains me to admit it… Black's is rather gorgeous too. In fact, he's just generally hot. Not that I would EVER say that to him EVER.
"Jamsieeee…." I whined, ignoring this comment, and wobbled to my feet as well. "I don't want to go back to my dorm. The BP'll eat me."
"The whosit?" He looked perplexed.
"THE BALD PSYCHOPATH!" I giggled. "Let me sleep in your dorm? Oh please oh please oh PUHLEASE."
"Yeah alright. But Lily's not insane! She's a beautiful flower." He sighed, lovestruck.
"Yucks." I made a face and clumsily skipped past him to the boys' staircase.
We stumbled to the 7th year boys' room, otherwise known to the Hogwarts population as "The Marauders" consisting of Jamsie; my drinking buddy and partner in crime, Lupin; the less evil male equivalent of Lily Evans with a sense of humor, Pettigrew; the tagalong who was dumber than a post, being brutally honest and… it.
Sirius Black. Resident player. Arrogant dick. My mortal enemy. To say he tries my patience would like saying Voldemort's a little inconvenient. Unfortunately for me, we both come from maniacal pureblood families so he and I have been acquainted since diapers. I see him at every event our circle of crazies holds. Or at least, I did, until he ran away from home. And the bitch STOLE my hideaway from the mentalness that comes with all our inbreeding. I hadn't been able to spend the holidays at James' house for all of last year because IT was living there.
To be fair, Black's situation was a little worse than mine is. I mean, Walburga and Orion? I shudder to think of the suffering he would've had to endure being a Gryffindor and thoroughly against Voldemort under that roof. Luckily for me, I scored Lorenzo and Eve Rivelli. So I get to enjoy less physically painful verbal abuse and the occasional whack as opposed to the cruciatus curse for being a Gryffindor and thoroughly against Voldemort.
Fun, eh?
James creaked open the door, trying not to disturb the others and tiptoed in. I followed, stifling more giggles.
"You take my bed, I'll use the spare mattress." James summoned said mattress and set up between his and Black's beds.
"Naw who said chivalry was dead?" I cooed and hopped into James' bed.
"Goodnight, Rivelli." He sighed.
"Night, Pothead." I cheekily retorted and pulled the covers up to my chin.
LLLLLLLLLL
I awoke to incessant poking and a pounding headache. I mumbled something incoherent under my breath to alert this person they were being incredibly annoying.
But the poking did not cease!
Finally, hung-over and frustrated, I sat up and screeched, "WHAT?!"
"Ahh!" The poker screamed and stumbled backwards. Who else? Black.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, BLACK?" I growled.
"You look um… lovely this morning." He snickered. Oh no you did not.
I hopped out of bed rather nimbly for an incredibly hung-over person, still managing to trip over James' mattress on my way to the bathroom. More evil laughter from Black. Where was Lupin to keep this boy in check?
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" I screamed upon seeing my reflection.
My normally cascading chocolate brown waves were flat as a pancake on one side and sticking up about 4cm on the other. There were black circles under my squinty eyes and my lips were chapped as fuck.
I, Lynette Karine Rivelli, solemnly swear I will never drink again.
Well… until I can rebuild my stash.
Black popped his head around the bathroom door, grinning cheekily. "As much fun as it always is to see you. Can you please fuck off to your own dorm now? I have a hung-over Prongsie to deal with."
I swear to Godric I would've avada-ed him then and there if I could find my wand.
"I'm not sure if I trust you with a hung-over anyone. You can barely deal with your own issues." I mumbled under my breath, pinching Peter Pettigrew's wand from his bedside table.
"I head that, gorgeous." He snapped.
"Good!" I snapped back. "Accio Lynn's wand."
Once I was reunited with my wand, had proceeded to hex Black and steal all of James' hangover tonics, I departed from the boys' room.
I peered around the door of my own dorm room cautiously. No signs of a bitchy, potentially still bald, Lillian Evans. She must've gone down for breakfast already. And by the looks of it, taken her goody-two shoes minions with her.
"Lynnie! Where were you last night? We waited up." Sarah Prewett spun around from the vanity table in the corner.
"Yeah Evans was pretty pissed off about something. LOVE what you did to her hair." Marlene Jameson chuckled, not looking up from this week's edition of Witch Weekly.
"She was gossiping away to her clique all fucking night." Eleni Eros, Greek goddess of the school, complained from the bathroom.
I rolled my eyes, flopped onto my bed and downed all three hangover tonics in one go. Lily Evans, Mary McDonald, Alice Greene, Chelsea Daley and Victoire DeThoisey were the bane of my existence. All five thought their shit didn't smell and that my best mates' and mine…well… did. There'd been a major schism in the ranks since first year between the nine of us and it didn't look like it was going away any time soon.
It was quite simple, really. The girls and I knew how to have a good time… and the bitch clique did not.
"I can imagine what she was saying. Pleasant girl." I scoffed.
"Did you seriously break in the new school year without us!" Sarah whined. "We were going to do a girls' night in Hogsmede, remember?"
"Well James had some dope left over from the holidays and said if I chipped in we'd have enough to share between us. How could I turn that offer down?" I grinned, parts of the night coming back to me. Had I actually accepted James' dare to tattoo myself with Black's spell? I pulled down the sleeve of my jumper to check my shoulder.
"Oh shit." I rubbed it with my thumb. Yup, it was real. Something Black had come up with actually worked? What is this? The apocalypse?
"What is it?" Marlene questioned, glancing at my shoulder blade.
"Dark Side of the Moon album cover. Pink Floyd." I mumbled, still trying to rub it off. If pissing my parents off was where the inspiration for the tattoo came from… it would work without a doubt. They hated it when I acted like a Muggle. Needless to say last year's hols had been spent at home in shorts with Muggle rock band records pounding in my bedroom. Let's not forget the purchasing of a telephone and red scooter, which I had named Sexy.
"Not going to ask. Are you going to get ready for class or not?" She asked with a final flick of the magazine.
"'I'll join at lunch. I think I need another couple hours sleep thanks to Black's wake up call this morning. Will you make excuses for Sluggie, Sarah?" I asked and pulled my jumper back up. As drunken mistakes went, this one wasn't my worst.
"For sure. Get your beauty sleep, hon." She blew me a kiss as she passed my bed on her way to the door.
"Want us to stop in at Hogsmede for the usual medication?" Eleni grinned, flicking her sleek, dead straight black hair over her shoulder.
"I'll love you forever." I smiled weakly, already tasting the double shot cappuccino from Puddifoot's.
The girls left, promising to have my coffee by second period. I yawned and turned over in bed, still in pain from a raging headache that not even three tonics could touch. It sucks when you're seemingly immune to the only potion on the market available for hangovers.
What felt like minutes, but really must've been a few hours later I heard the dorm door slam. Groggily, I opened my sleep-encrusted eyes and squinted across the room. The first thing I noticed was the extra large coffee cup on my bedside. Bless them.
And then…
Oh you have GOT TO BE JOKING.
"Rise and shine, Rivelli. Lunch time Quidditch trials practice."
"Again!? Really and truly? Again you have interrupted my beauty sleep?" I moaned and rolled over.
"Hey, get up you lazy lump. We're beating Slytherin this year." Black ripped my down duvet off with a satisfied smirk.
"What the bloody hell do we need to practice for trials for? And um, oh yeah…. HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?" I contracted into a ball after having lost my warm covers.
"I have my ways." His face was impassive, not revealing anything. "Now get down on the pitch."
"Cut me some slack you evil dickhead. I'm hung-over."
"Your fault." He shrugged.
The door opened again. And I honestly didn't give a crap who it was. All I wanted to do was shut my eyes for a little longer.
"Black?" Asked who I recognized to be Eleni's voice. "How did you get in here? Why are you in here?"
"Lunchtime Quidditch trials practice." I mumbled, still half asleep.
"Um. Really?" She sounded confused. "James didn't say anything about that in Charms." Eleni was also on the team.
"Yeah I know. Cause I just made it up now to piss Rivelli off." He sounded very matter of fact.
I shot up, about to do some serious damage. "BLACK GET OUT OF HERE NOW BEFORE I CASTRATE YOU!"
He laughed gleefully as he sped out of the dorm, purposely slamming the door behind him.
"I hate him." I groaned, rubbing my head.
"I know." Was Eleni's simple response.
I hope you liked the first chapter I'll try to update as often as I can. I feel really good about this story. I don't have a clear idea about where it's going exactly, but it's the kind of story I want to keep writing so I can find out. Please review if you liked it, or if you didn't, or even just to say hey! They do help with inspiration. TTFN x