Just something I've come up with while writing in an attempt to update not one but two stories. (In which case it's a pain but whatever)
Don't own Naruto and Enjoy people.
This is officially the most blasphemy I've ever heard in my entire life!
I mean, not that the preposterous explanation they gave me about this-this mess in my room is even believable in the first place!
"Look, Deidara it was an accident! You shouldn't have kept C4 in your room anyways!" That got me, which just pushed me over the edge.
"Tobi! I am a fucking terrorist! An assassin! A bomber! What part of 'Don't fucking go in my room and touch anything' don't you fucking understand?!" There was silence as I paced back and forth in front of my bedroom door- or what was left of the damn thing.
Where was my privacy now, where?!
Tobi has single handedly blew up the far wall of my room and the door- somehow- making my room and that damn Money-loving pricks room into one! And he says he didn't do anything- Ha! Bull shit!
The first thing that popped into my head was the kill the masked idiot for what it was wroth- but that would only get me a damn long talk from Pein, and a few slaps from Konan because her and Tobi were well, friends as was he and everyone else in this insane household except for me. I don't like Tobi, I don't think he's cute and I never did and I never will.
Is that clear enough? I hope so.
Hidan might be Anal retentive about his room but I don't suppose Kakuzu is as much because there were some things strewn in random places. Hidan's room was always spotless and the floor was wood polished off to perfection. He claimed it made it easier for him to sacrifice things and be sterile about it. He apparently didn't want infections which is stupid because he never once thought about that when he did it in the dirt in the front yard. (Which mind you he still fucking does- its repulsive and embarrassing when the neighbors call the police because they think he's trying to kill himself and somehow I always end up dealing with it.)
"But Deidara-sempaiiiii!" He whined at me his hands cupping each other in front of him successfully stopping my pacing. "It was a mistake honestly!" He nodded and I couldn't help but just stare in utter hate. It bubbled in my stomach, I hated every single one of these cock suckers (Aside from Sasori because he understands an artists need for privacy) I hated them so much that—AH! Kakuzu!
The man in question stood with wide eyes staring at my once-door and strait into his room which was now a mess. I could have sworn I heard one of his hearts give out in his chest as he dropped the papers he was holding those wide eyes narrowing in anger seconds later.
"Deidara…." His low voice rang out and I swear I could just die right there. (Hey I hate them but that doesn't mean I don't fear a few of them a well) Shuffling on my feet I look around the rubble-educed room we now Shared and grinned at him disarmingly as he took a step forward, slowly his hand resting to his sides.
Its official, I am so fucking dead. Call the funeral home, make arrangements, oh everyone wait! The money for my casket it under my bed! Of course that's considering there is anything left of me after this. Burn my remains!
Someone call the ambulance! I don't want to die! I'm too young! And sexy!
Stepping back a few times, I find myself standing against the half-demolished wall swallowing hard looking around and past my blond bangs for someone anyone.
"Oh, Deidara seems you re busy now bye!" Tobi said quickly fleeing the scene to leave me behind to deal with Kakuzu. When he reached me his hand extended out and grabbed my throat gripping tightly making my head spin. I managed to choke out however something that made his ease his grip on my neck as he mutter 'I'll kill you' under his breath his silent rage getting the better of us both.
"How can I accommodate you?" He seemed to think on this as his fingers paused in there hold and he let go slowly still twitchy in anger. "I mean, Tobi set off the C4 in the corner…and…"
"You had C4 in your room Deidara? You're stupider then I though you were!" Kakuzu bellowed at me and of course I glared right back at his words.
"Well you should of thought of that when you decided to take the room next to mine! Hmm!" I crossed my arms stubbornly out eyes meeting in a heated battle.
The sound of someone whistling caught out attention seconds later as we stood there, looking back on my part at Hidan standing in the hallway. I just about shit myself my face paling. He was going to make this worse for me wasn't he?
"Maaan Kakuzu, this shit is horrific looking." The zealot shook his head and I swear I am going to castrate him later today.
"It's going to cost a hell of a lot to repair this…" He whistled yet again making me angry. I felt like I was being choked! Not only has he just stated the obvious but he just made this worse!
"..You, blondie are paying for this, every fucking penny!" He growled out, all I could do was nod and agree at this point afraid he was ready to take my head off.
"Oh, shit you blew this up? Man Deidara I thought you were smarter then this." I turn my head and run after him in anger, jumping over rubble as I went.
"Fucking, it was Tobi!" I tackle the zealot to the floor and he curses at me as I wrestle him for dominance which I got pinning him to the ground my knees firmly pressing into his shoulders to keep him in place.
Digging around my pockets, and mind you I have a lot because of my jacket, I pull out a small clump of clay and grin at him. His eyes widen in horror and he spoke for once something that wasn't a curse word.
"You wouldn't…." I just grin impishly and making a small ball out of the clay turned a little on my knees and with a quick movement I pushed the clay into his pants. Easy as pie.
"You fucking pervert!" He yelled struggling against my hold making it extremely hard to make the damn shit go off. Jumping up away from him he scrambled to get the clay from his pants when –"Die!" And it went off and he yelled like a little girl.
"Deidara, I'm going to murder you." Kakuzu said darkly from behind him holding up a burnt piece of paper that looked a lot like- Oh fuck!
"Kakuzu you don't understand, un, I didn't mean to-.." I cringe as he yelled at me and took off running as he complained jumping over Hidan.
"You fucking Liar! Get back here! I don't care if you didn't mean it you are so fucking DEAD!"
And I could believe it.
Mind you I had to run out of the house, and at least four miles from the house before he stopped tailing me (That I could tell at least). Heaving deep breaths I kept walking- damn right I kept walking! I wasn't about to stop and allow him to catch up or catch me for that matter.
I came back later that day and had to run away again because well Kakuzu was still pissed and happened to be talking to a guy on the phone about cleaning up the mess and fixing the wall.
One day went by where I was stuck outside on the streets and I am quite pleased to announce that I did indeed get to blow something up that wasn't my room. When I returned yet again everything seemed fine and the guys for the room repair where there.
One week went by where Kakuzu and I shared one room- or a room and a half because he managed to take half of my room for punishment for the first three days.
Now the bill was ridiculous, when I got it I think I might of fainted because the smug look in Kakuzu's eyes told me I did something utterly unthinkable for a man. "…F-five thousand fucking dollars for a few pieces of wood and some dry wall!?" I yelled at the paper feeling a rush of a faint coming on again- only to realize I had no bed.
"…TOBI!"