This was written for the DGM kink meme.

I wrote this for a few reasons.

I have no life over the summer.

It was an awesome prompt.

I got bored of filling the request I was working on.

And I stole the author's moment by posting the link to her story.

I'm sorry. This is a make-up present.

The prompt was: Lavi/Kanda~
Sex while one of them is on the phone (I'd prefer Kanda being the one on the phone, but it seems like he would probably just hang up :(, so do with it what you will).

Filled.

"Yuu, Mugen's gonna be fine. Komui'll fix him up fine. You know that."

"That's not what I'm worried about. It's that fucking finder. He'll probably lose Mugen. Baka Usagi." Lavi and Kanda had been on a mission to Australia to exterminate a small army of level two akuma. Two level threes had shown up. Just as Lavi finished off his, Mugen shattered into seventeen pieces, making Lavi have to save him. And that, that, had made his mood all the worse.

"Yuu, you really need to trust the finders more. Mugen'll be fine."

"Stop fucking calling me that. And I don't trust anyone."

"Well, then, Yuu if you're upset about it, I'll make you feel better…" Lavi captured Kanda's lips and pulled him closer, "Don't worry…I'll fix everything…" Lavi whispered as he started kissing Kanda's cheeks and preceded down him neck. Kanda groaned. He flicked his tongue against the other male's collarbone and began unbuttoning his white button down.

Knock, knock, knock. "Mr. Lavi, Mr. Kanda! It's the manager! There's a man named Komui asking for you on the phone." The manger said from outside to door.

"Thank you!" Lavi smiled and eyed Kanda's open shirt before picking up the phone.

"Hello Komui! What's up?" Lavi asked as he ran his finger down Kanda's chest.

"Just checking in. How are you?" Komui asked from the other end.

"Oh we're fine. Thanks for giving us the rest of the week off. We'll be coming back tomorrow. Ok, well, then bye!" Lavi pushed the shirt off one of Kanda's shoulders and his eyes filled with lust.

"Lavi, I need to talk to Kanda."

"Wait. You wanna talk to Kanda? Why?" He whined, disappointed that he'd have to wait longer.

"It's about Mugen."

"Well, fine. Here ya go. Bye." He handed Kanda the phone as he reattached himself to Kanda's collarbone.

"Hello?" Lavi ran his tongue down Kanda's chest and lightly flicked his nipple with his tongue.

"Hello Kanda! You having a great time? Beautiful beaches, clear oceans, bright sun. You better be! But really, how is it?"

"Fine. What do you want?" Lavi took the shirt the rest of the way off before running his hands over the newly exposed chest. He stepped back momentarily to take off his own shirt, then went to work on Kanda's pants until he was pulling them down.

"It's about Mugen." The man replied, going back to his serious tone.

"What about Mugen?" Lavi worked the pants to his ankles before tugging them over Kanda's booted feet. He smirked as he took off his own.

"You shattered him again! It was pretty hard to get him back together just once, but again? What happened?" He sounded exhausted, probably from pulling all the all-nighters.

"I don't know. I'll tell you when I get back." Kanda stopped before looking to Lavi, "Usagi! What the fuck are you doing?" He hissed, hoping Komui wouldn't hear.

"What's it look like I'm doing?" He tugged Kanda's boxers down, "you've got ten seconds." He said as his face neared Kanda's erection.

"What'd you say?" Komui asked, thinking Kanda was talking to him, but not quite catching everything the Japanese man had said.

Kanda growled, "I'm hanging up now."

"Ten."

"If you want us to fix Mugen you're not."

"Can I call you back later then?"

"Nine."

"Not as long as I have to pull another all-nighter for you!"

"Well then say what you need to say!"

"Eight."

"Tell me about the weather."

"I can tell you about it once I get back."

"Seven."

"Then I can fix Mugen when I feel like it."

"Fine. It's humid. It feels like summer and it's really sunny."

"Six."

"Hmm, well is Mugen used to the heat?" Komui asked even though he knew heat wouldn't affect a blade.

"That's not my problem to worry about. I don't see how it would affect a blade anyway. You know it wouldn't." Kanda growled, irritated by the older man.

"Five. Four. Three."

"Well what have you been doing for your couple days off?" The man irritated Kanda to no end. He wouldn't be getting off the phone for a while. And he couldn't hang up on him or he wouldn't fix Mugen.

"Training. I have to go."

"Two." Lavi whispered against the hard flesh. There was no doubting Lavi would do it. So Kanda needed off the phone. Now.

"Why are you in such a rush? I have Mugen. Remember?" Off the phone. Off the phone. Kanda needed off.

"So you've reminded me. Lavi wants to go to dinner. He's been begging for hours." Lavi's mouth closed around his erection and Kanda couldn't resist bucking his hips slightly and digging his fingernails into the arm of the chair he currently occupied.

"Tell him to go alone. He can manage."

"I already told him I would." He said through clenched teeth as his voice cracked toward the end as Lavi ran his tongue roughly over the slit.

"Well I'm your superior. Tell him to take it out with me. You're busy."

"You're only talking to me to get out of your- ngh!- job." It was probably true. Komui had been caught doing that before. Lavi had just run his teeth over his flesh on his way up. All Kanda could do to keep calm was bite his lip, but even then a gasp made its way past them.

"Even so, the least you could do is give ten minutes of your time to the man that's going to fix your precious sword." So that was his excuse.

"Usagi! Fucking stop!" Kanda hissed as Komui kept talking. "Then I'll…just…get another... one of you to fix it." Lavi was bobbing his head frantically as his finger massaged the sacks below, making it near impossible for Kanda to think, let alone speak, straight.

"Kanda? Is there something wrong?" Komui asked in an evil tone. He knew he was interrupting something, he just didn't know what. He would hang up if he knew. From both disgust and fear that Kanda would kill him for interrupting.

"No I'm…just hungry and tired." Sure it wasn't like Kanda to confess to any sort of problems, but if it would get him off the phone, he'd say anything.

"Alright then let me tell you about your next mission. You're heading straight there without Lavi. It's to South America where you'll be meeting Lenalee and Allen. One of them will give you you're sword. It's just like this mission but this time there are going to be a few more level threes. And because it's going to take a while to fix your sword you have another three days in Australia. Lucky…" Komui trailed off as he heard what he thought to be a small, almost too small to notice, moan from the other end of the phone.

"Kanda are you still there? Did you hear a word I just said?" Komui asked, curious as to what had made the swordsman act so out of character.

"Yea-… what? ... I'm…fine." He breathed, acting as if he was being tortured. Lavi continued however, mercilessly sucking on Kanda's aching erection. Using his teeth here, pressing on a sensitive spot there. He didn't care that Komui could hear this. And that was mostly because Lavi could deny it had been him. Kanda couldn't. With every second that passed by, Kanda's orgasm drew nearer and nearer. Komui would definitely hear that. Kanda couldn't hang up, Komui had Mugen. But why wasn't he talking? Did he already know what was happening and hang up? Or was he waiting for those humiliating sounds to escape Kanda's lips so he could tease and blackmail him later on? What if the whole science department heard?

"Komui…I really…need to go…please let me hang up." He breathed, desperately trying to get the man to say yes without having to damage his pride further.

"But we're not done talking. Look, Kanda I really don't want to go back to work. We don't even have to talk. Just stay on the other end and let me say something occasionally." The man begged. There was no doubting he was exhausted and didn't want to have to go and fix Mugen.

"Komui really…I have to go...Lavi's going to…come out…here and drag me…any second. Please." He had less then a minute to get the man off the phone. Even after Lavi finished him off, Lavi would want to fuck. That would lead to even more noises and embarrassment. If he wanted to keep some pride, he'd have to resort to begging.

"Kanda, please. Just shut up or Mugen won't get fixed. We both know you don't want to go to dinner with Lavi. So just use this as an excuse to get out of it." Komui wasn't going to give in.

"Komui, I'm-ngh! -serious. I need…to go or…I'll hang…up even if you…won't fix Mugen…besides, I know someone who's… in love with…Lenalee." Kanda would have to negotiate. He hoped after telling he'd flip out and go take care of it. Lavi ran his teeth over the head again as he eyed Kanda, letting him know that he was going easy on him for the time being.

"Oh? Do you now? My sweet little Lenalee wouldn't have any interest in whoever it was anyway."

"But I'm sure…you'd want to know… if that person, ngh… was a friend… who was stalking her." Kanda could hear Komui's eyebrows raise as his anger escalated to a whole other level. Lavi's fingers began pressing all the right spots along his length as his lips continued working.

"Fuck! Lavi stop! Just until I hang up…" Kanda whispered to low for Komui to hear. Lavi pulled his lips away, but only to lick the dip between his sacks.

"Who's stalking my little Lenalee?! You tell me now or Mugen will never be fixed!" Komui was beyond mad at the mention of that particular man. Kanda would have to sink even lower by bringing the innocent little man into this. Komui would no doubt kill him. But not without, of course, torturing him first.

"Don't tell him… I told you. It's… Bak, from…the Asian branch." Kanda managed out without moaning as Lavi played his fingers to Kanda's entrance.

"Like I'd believe that! I've known him longer then you've been alive. He'd never like Lenalee. Quit lying Kanda. To sink that low to get off the phone, hah, that's funny." The man replied, losing all signs of anger to switch to a tone of amusement.

"It's not a…lie. I don't, ngh, lie. Ask… Allen. He's seen… his photo collection." Lavi started humming. The vibrations would soon send Kanda over the edge. How would he keep the noise of an orgasm to himself?

"Photo collection? As in stalker pictures?"

"Ngh, yeah… he's been taking them… every time he… comes to our… branch." He wouldn't last another second. "Komui, I have to go. Now."

"Not until you answer me. Why would he-?" Komui was interrupted by a particularly loud cry coming from the other end of the phone. "Kanda, what the hell was that?"

"I just stubbed my toe on a chair. Lavi was trying to drag me out." His voice had gone back to a decent tone and he could breath right again. But as long as Lavi was hard and even then sometimes, it wasn't over. The noisy part was yet to come.

"So… is Bak really stalking my Lenalee, or was that a ploy to get me off the phone?" Great. He was still trying to keep Kanda on the phone.

"I lied. I apologize. You were right the whole time." Kanda decided to let the poor man live another day.

"That's shallow Kanda. Well then… Shall we talk about your next mission again?" Komui asked in another amused tone. "I mean, since you obviously didn't hear me the first time."

Kanda blushed, "C-can I call back tomorrow morning? It's getting late. We really have to go eat dinner." He asked even though it was still bright outside the suite's window. The only reason Kanda could still speak properly was because Lavi had gone to get the lube from his bag in the next room.

"The time difference isn't that big Kanda. Quit lying. Anyway, like I said, you both now have an extra three days there." Lavi came back through the door. "It's with Lenalee and Allen to South America." Lavi slowly made his way over to the chair Kanda was still in, "One of them will be carrying Mugen until you can take it."

"Stand up," Lavi whispered into Kanda's ear. "You know how it works…" Kanda stood, or rather sat, his ground. If he didn't stand there would be no more moaning. He would be able to talk to Komui with a straight voice.

"It's just like your current mission except this time; we believe there will be more level threes then the last." Komui continued innocently as Lavi forced Kanda's legs onto both arms of the chair. He lubed up a finger in a professional manner as he had to keep his other hand tugging mercilessly on Kanda's erection.

"Now, you know you have to keep quite. Does that turn you on Kanda?" Kanda glared at Lavi before turning away, slightly embarrassed. Kanda thought Lavi to be correct. His moans had never been this loud.

"Kanda? You still there?" Komui asked from the other end.

"Yes." He replied grudgingly as Lavi stuck the lubed finger past his entrance. He let out a single gasp and squirmed, while trying to remain calm.

"Well do you understand your new mission?"

Lavi had started moving his fingers inside of Kanda until he had found what he was looking for. Kanda's hips bucked slightly up into Lavi's touch as he hissed out a strangled, "Yess."

"Kanda, are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"I would be better- ngh! - if you'd let me hang up." Lavi was scissoring with the occasional touch to Kanda's prostate. He added a third finger and Kanda let out a soft cry. He mentally kicked himself for the lack of control he had over himself.

"So how's the weather?" He asked slightly laughing.

"You already… asked that." Kanda replied, tired of the man wasting his time. "Who else… is with you?"

"Right now I'm in my office approving papers. I'm alone. Sad right? Why? Are you going to tattle on me for staying on the phone?"

"If it would... get me off… the phone." Kanda was desperate. He knew the painful part was coming next. Lavi wouldn't spare him that, especially if he'd already gone this far. He pulled his fingers out of Kanda and made to make sure he could keep Kanda's legs hoisted on the chair.

"Yuu, I'm gonna push in now. It'll hurt just like every other time." He whispered as he watched Kanda's face. In one thrust, he had completely buried himself inside Kanda. Kanda squirmed and writhed, trying to get away from Lavi as the pain of the penetration overwhelmed him. His mouth was open in a silent yell and his head fell backwards against the chair. Without waiting, Lavi pulled back and snapped his hips against Kanda.

"HAH!" It had made its way past his lips as Lavi pushed in again. He waited silently for what Komui would say or ask. Surprisingly, he hadn't said anything in over a minute. But now, now that Kanda had made a second embarrassing noise; it was strange that he hadn't even asked like he had before. He had to know what was going on. Komui was a smart man on certain levels; he could put two and two together to figure out that Lavi was responsible.

Lavi pulled almost completely out before snapping his hips forward again, this time to brush Kanda's prostate. He bit his lip as hard as he could and snapped his eyes shut, hoping that his mouth wouldn't betray him again. It did, letting out another strangled cry as Lavi twisted his hips slightly against his prostate.

"K-Komui?" The man still wasn't talking. Had he hung up?

"Hmm?" was his reply. Had he been listening to all this on purpose? Or had he not heard anything?

"Since we're not- ngh! - talking about… anything, can I hang up? You can call back… if anyone comes… into your office… to tell you to-ngh! -… work." He had managed it out by some miracle as Lavi mercilessly thrust against his prostate as he worked his fingers along his length in time with the thrusts.

"Well… I suppose. Bye." He heard the phone line go dead and took it as a pass for him to moan and say whatever he wanted.

"Finally! That man kept you on the phone in the middle of an ass fucking! Talk about cock blocking. Well now I can play it up another notch!" Lavi smirked as he thrust harder into the aching body beneath him.

Just then the phone rang. "Don't pick it up! He'll keep you on the phone again!" Lavi begged as he gave another thrust and stroke.

"He's… got Mugen. I can't… augh! Fucking Usagi… I have to pick… it up…" He breathed as his hand went back to the receiver to pick up the phone.

"He…llo?" Kanda breathed into the phone, hoping, praying it wasn't Komui.

"Hello Kanda. I need to discuss your next mission with you." Damn it! Kanda swore over and over again, knowing Komui would just talk over him to get out of doing his job.

"Yes, yes. It's with Lenalee and Allen. I know you don't like going with him but you have to. Kanda, he really is a skilled exorcist, you just need to look past not liking him. You guys really have a lot in common." Komui was just rambling on, giving the occasional pause to make it seem as if someone was actually on the other end. Kanda took that as an 'I don't give a fuck what you're doing, just let me pretend that I'm actually talking to you.'

Thinking that, he let another moan and gasp escape his lips as Lavi gave another thrust against his sweet spot. His access had become remarkably easier as Kanda's legs had somehow shifted to be resting slung over Lavi's shoulders as he used them as an anchor to aid him in thrusting harder and further.

"So… Kanda… how close are you?" Lavi asked, obviously out of breath.

"Fuck you." Kanda growled out, not wanting to admit just how close he was.

Lavi chuckled, "S'alright, I'm pretty close too. I don't think… I'm gonna last long enough for you to cum. Sorry…" He trailed off, lost in the lust, and not caring that Kanda might not get his share.

"Usagi, y-!"

"Oh Kanda, you already got an orgasm. I gave you head. Remember?" Kanda's jaw dropped as he realized the other man was right. But the least he could do, after damaging his pride this horribly, was give him what his body ached for.

"Usagi, if you don't finish me I won't ever go down on you." Lavi paused, Kanda had only done that once, but he remembered it oh so well. He'd only lasted two mintues under Kanda's skilled mouth. That man had the best mouth Lavi had ever come across, whether he would admit it or not. He didn't like going down on people because it damaged his pride and made him look like the useless uke, which, he definitely wasn't considering he had fucked Lavi up pretty bad after their session.

"F-fine! But you have to promise." Lavi was suddenly still aside from the buck he had just given. "Yuu, I'm sorry I made a mess of you again. I'll clean you up… I promise."

"Fuck! Usagi! You better not fall asleep again. You still have work too do." Lavi tilted his head up until he was facing Kanda again.

"M'sorry Yuu. I'm just tired. I'll do it in a second…" He trailed off as he pushed Kanda's legs off him and slid off the chair and onto the floor.

"Usagi, what the hell? You just did all that while I'm on the phone and now you can't even finish me?" Kanda was beyond pissed. Today had been one of the most humiliating days in his short life.

"Yuuuu, I'm tired. Do it yourself!"

"Usagi I swear, I'll never go down on you. Ever." Lavi's head snapped up at that. He gave Kanda a pleading look, but knew he couldn't challenge his harsh glare. He unwillingly got onto his knees again and sucked Kanda off.

"What's Komui saying?" Lavi asked after he was dressed. Kanda hadn't even thought about him. He'd put the phone down next to the receiver quite some time ago. He lifted it up.

"Hello?"

"Have Fun Kanda?"

-End-

I couldn't think of any other way to end this and I just thought it humorous to finally have Komui admit he knew what was going on. The. Whole. Time.

Reviews are love.