A/N: Written as response to the prompt trampoline. Addison and Derek reminisce, grieve and are grateful to be in each others company.
All The Pieces That Remain Will Build A Place For Us To Stay
„Is this where you thought you would be? "
Addison turned her head and put it in between her hands that she had stemmed into the green grass underneath her slim figure. A smile formed on her lips, so sweet and innocent all Derek wanted to do was plant a trail of tender kisses on her porcelain skin. He lifted his right hand to run his fingers through her still auburn hair before he pressed her close to his chest where she kissed his wool-clad body a couple of times.
Derek always longed to ask her about the hair. Why was she still dying it? Even now, after everything did she still feel the need to be in control of every aspect in and about her life? She would probably answer that as long as time did not change every little detail about her, then she could easily pretend that she and her life had not changed so drastically through the last decades. That somewhere in the depths of her was still a small part of the young, restless, innocent and determined twenty-something med student whose goal was nothing short of excellence.
"What do you mean? "
Addison asked as she grabbed his right hand with her left, intertwined their fingers and squeezed lightly. Then she lifted her head to rest her chin on his chest and raised one of her eyebrows.
"What do you mean what do I mean?" Derek let the thumb of his free hand run over Addison's eyebrows and along her cheek down to her lips. Addison kissed the tip of his thumb softly before she sighed and pushed herself up on her elbows slowly and careful not to put too much pressure on Derek's chest. She settled back down on the grass stretching her legs in front of her.
"I never thought it would be Mark. I always assumed it would be me."Derek paused and took her face in both of his hands. He held her intense gaze. A warning one could say not to further speak of death – his death nonetheless. "Between you and Mark there was always enough potential to kick me off this planet with a heart attack in my mid fifties."
Addison slapped his chest a little too hard for it to simply be a playful act. She put on a goofy smile that might have convinced him if he had not known this woman – his woman, for over fifty years by now. Addison had dazed off to a place within her he supposed she still kept from him. Derek knew, though, it had been too soon to joke about death. Addison was one of the bravest, smartest and strongest women he had come to know in his life, but there was one great fear that seemed to crack and break Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery (not Shepherd, but married to one): the fear of being alone, especially at the age of seventy-one.
"Mark was a good man." Derek spoke softly as he brought Addison close to his chest and let her lay her head on his shoulder. He could smell the scent of her shampoo that had come to imprint itself on his nostrils. A scent he had long ago defined as home.
"Mh," Addison mumbled quietly, breathing in and out steadily as she listened to the sound of Derek's beating heart. It was the one thing she had learned would always calm her down and take her mind of the troubles that were consuming her time and energy.
"Addie?"
"Yeah," Addison hummed against his chest.
"Where did you think you would be?" Derek let his hands run freely through the still long streaks of silky, auburn hair.
Addison moved off of him and leaned on her elbows before she settled her chin back on his chest. She frowned slightly at first. But once she had let her mind wander into the depths of her fantasies for the both of them the smile that had formed on her lips was powerful enough to ignite the rest of her face and let her eyes sparkle with mischief.
"Anywhere but here, really. I thought we would be living in New York until our kids were all grown up and ready to flee the Shepherd mansion to live their own lives, go to college and fall in love. By that time I thought we'd be moving back to Connecticut or New Jersey. Somewhere quieter and calmer, less stressful. We'd be retiring…or at least trying, too." She smiled brightly up at Derek as she picked a petal from his dress shirt and started playing with it between her fingers. "You would probably start teaching at NYU and I would sign up for evening classes to learn another language or who knows, maybe I'd be writing a novel. There sure as hell would be enough stuff to fill a thousand pages." Addison finished in an amused tone of voice.
Derek looked up at her and put a stray strand of hair behind her ears. He traced her face with his rough finger tips and placed his thumb over her cherry red lips once again.
Addison shivered as a soft wind blew over them and ruffled their hair.
"You're always cold these days," Derek commented in a tone that suggested he was not really in a joking mood about the subject. "You should eat more, watch your health."
"I'm fine, "Addison replied hastily. "But maybe we should move to Florida. Washington gets a little too cold and wet nine months of the year."
"See there I see enough reason for a lot of drama. I don't think James, Aimee or Carson would appreciate it if their Mom moved to the other side of the country. Especially Carson." Derek said and winked at her smilingly.
Addison chuckled and kissed his chest.
"Plus, you'd miss the little ones. Wouldn't you, Nana Addie?"
"We could take them with us", Addison suggested matter-of-factly.
"Really? You think you would be up for that?" Derek asked with raised eyebrows.
"Or we could take the cute and quiet ones." Addison said accompanied by a soft chuckle that made Derek laugh himself.
"Are you implying that you don't love them equally?" Derek questioned before he ducked his head to avoid her palm.
"Ha! As if, Derek Shepherd! I know Allison is your favorite!"
Allison Iris Gantner was a quiet, but smart and kind-hearted girl who knew at the tender age of five exactly what she was going to be; a doctor like her grandpa Derek. The sweet little girl with the blonde pig tails, big blue eyes and button nose had stolen Derek's heart a long time ago.
"Addie?" Derek asked but was not rewarded with an answer, so he placed his fingers under Addison's chin to lift it up high enough so he could look her in the eyes.
"I have a seen a trampoline on the way over from the chapel." Derek suggested with a mischievous grin on his lips.
"So what?"
"I think we should have sex on the trampoline." Derek dared her.
Addison laughed full-heartedly and Derek looked at her questionably with a goofy expression.
"I think we are too old for that kind of crazy?" Addison said and let her hand wander over his scarred skin and squeezed his biceps lightly.
"You are never too old for a little naughty business." Derek suggested with a wink and a wave of his hand.
"I think you certainly are when you need assistance to walk." Addison leaned over and grabbed the cane Derek had been using to help him walk longer distances at a time. Addison started laughing again. It was the sound of one of those infectious laughs she had mastered that made it hard for Derek to keep up the mock hurt and smirk at Addison in return.
Derek put up his hands in surrender before he replied, "Point taken."
"Addie?"
"Derek?" Addison answered in a mocking tone that was soon silenced by what Derek said next.
"I miss him." Addison lifted her head to have a better look at Derek. She moved closer, as close as she could without hurting herself or him. Derek put his arms around her waist and embraced her just a little bit tighter than he normally would. A shiver ran down his spine when he felt Addison breath on his cheek, close to his right ear.
"I miss him, too," Addison whispered and placed feather-light kisses on Derek's earlobe and chaw line.
"Addie?"
"Yes, Derek?"
"He would have wanted for us to make love on a trampoline."
Addison sat up in a fit of giggles and laughter, but when she let herself fall back against his worn body, she was enveloped in his tight embrace and her lips came crashing down onto his in a sweet and tender kiss.
It sure was not how they thought their life was going to turn out, but if they had not been willing to change the tiniest details for fear it might upset the whole circle of fate, they would not be here at all. As long as they were together, that much they knew, life could throw them for a loop as often as it wanted to without the consequences being too much to take.