Title: The hard way
Summary: Emily's POV. Emily/Effy Oneshot. Sometimes things need to get fucked up first in order to get better afterwards.
Disclaimer: Don't own Emily (sadly) nor Effy
Enjoy!
The Hard way.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to do nothing.
It's easy to be distracted in the Tube. But what appeals Emily the most are the scents of people, no doubt. One time it's vanilla, then a slight smell of lilac makes its way to her and she's overwhelmed by dozens of perfumes. Emily has never been a focused person. She likes it that way, she likes the way her mind can wander from one random thing to another. It gives her a certain impression of freedom somehow. Right now though, she feels a bit claustrophobic, surrounded by smells and people. Strangers. She goes out of the wagon and feels a presence next to her. A quick glance tells her it's a boy who's around her age. He has his earphones on, just like her, and heads straight outside. She has no choice but to take the same way. They walk along at the same rhythm, and for a moment it feels like they're actually together and know each other. It's easy, she thinks, to feel good with someone you don't know sometimes. His company is discreet yet noticeable. He's a bit taller than her, and she feels like he's protecting her from the wildness of the streets, no matter how ridiculous this idea may sound. At some point though he takes a different path than her. They exchange a quick look, like a goodbye, and she's sure she sees a smile on his face when he turns away. She thinks about the only other person who made it so easy to just be. Effy's presence has always been flexible. If she wanted to be noticed, she let it know and people were naturally drawn to her. Sometimes though, she knew how to be almost invisible, which was quite a feat given the way she looked. Emily was the only one to always see her, feel her. Even now, when the brunette isn't by her side anymore, she feels her sometimes, knows she's here, and knows she'll come back. She remembers the day she left, and even though she was prepared, it still makes her stomach twist in an unpleasant way.
"You know, sometimes things need to get fucked up first in order to get better afterwards." She had said without anything but pain in her voice. "Look at me, I've changed a little, haven't I?" she had added with a sad smile before taking the redhead's hand.
Emily had just nodded, and they had kept walking on the beach, waiting for the sun to disappear.
She was right though, Effy had changed these past few years. She wasn't on the verge of loosing balance at any moment anymore. Emily couldn't say she was stable though; Effy and steadiness were two very different words. But there was progress, she seemed happier and less fucked up. It had been so easy for them both to get along together, so easy it seemed almost disturbing even. Some people say that to create harmony, you must put two different elements in opposition. They had been at first, and then the harmony came. But now it was too much, too fast. They couldn't name it, couldn't explain it, but they both knew it was there. So Effy chose to leave. Emily always thought that people who were leaving weren't brave enough; she had learnt that from her own past. Yet to her, Effy had always been the strong one despite her seeming fickleness. So she let her go. And she realised that sometimes, giving up was the hardest thing to do.
The image of Effy turning her back to her and walking away is still very clear on her mind. But then she remembers, fucking things up so they get better, and she pictures the brunette coming back to her, with that mysterious smile of her enlightening her face. So she smiles too, because she's sure that one day, that thing she thinks and dreams about won't be a dream anymore.