Disclaimer: I don't own South Park, alright?
"I SUCKED CARTMAN'S BALLS FOR YOU!"
"Dude, that was all imaginary..."
"It doesn't matter! All imaginary things are real, remember? The only reason I did that was to save YOUR sorry ass from getting nuked!"
"You know dude, I really don't think all this yelling is necessary..."
"IT IS MORE THAN NECESSARY! All I'm asking is for one simple favor, and you can't even do it! I sucked Cartman's balls for you. That's wayyyy more than this."
"But man... you should find someone else to do it..."
"Dude, it has to be you. That's the reason I'm asking."
"Find some girl to do it..."
"I don't WANT it to be a girl."
"... dude... that's a bit... gay."
"I know, okay? I know. But please. Just one time. I promise that as soon as it's over we'll never speak of it again."
"... alright dude. One kiss."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"You taste like shit."
"WHAT?? I DO NOT YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!"
"Yeah man. I can't believe you talked me into this. Do you even brush your teeth?"
"I brush my fucking teeth! You know what, I bet you're the one who tastes bad, you stupid douche!"
"Do not!"
"Do too. You taste worse than Cartman's balls."
"That was imaginary!"
"Imaginary is real!"
"I'm imagining your mom getting run over by a dumptruck!"
"... me too..."
"..."
"..."
"Anyways. I do not taste worse than Cartman's balls! Nothing can taste worse than Cartman's balls, that's just sick and twisted."
"Dude, it's definitely you. I don't know why I even asked to do this."
"Me neither. You stupid homo."
"I'M NOT A HOMO! JUST BECAUSE I SUCKED CARTMAN'S-"
"You also came up to me and asked, 'Dude, can I have just one kiss? Pretttttty pleasssssse? I've just GOT to know what's it's like to kiss another guy!'"
"Well... you can't tell me you weren't the littlest bit curious too!"
"I WASN'T!"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Alright, maybe I was a little bit. But that didn't mean I was going to walk up to my best friend and ask what it's like! You're the homo."
"You're the homo."
"No, you're the homo!"
"No! YOU are the homo!"
"Why are we even talking about this?"
"Because you like getting it down with little boys."
"..."
"Alright, sorry, that was a below the belt comment. AHA! Below the belt! Get it?"
"...dude. You're the one that sucked Cartman's balls, not me."
"..."
"BURN."
"Ugh. I'm going home."
"Wait... I wanna ask you something..."
"Uhm... why are you whispering in my - OMG. You just got on me about this!"
"Well, I guess I'm a little curious too... why are you looking at me like that?!"
"You can't just tell some guy they're a fag and then ask to kiss them."
"..."
"..."
"Please?"
"Oh alright. But make it quick. You're the one that tastes like shit, not me."
"No, it's yo-"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...mmhmm..."
"...mmhmm..."
"OH MY GOD! You guys are totally making out! This is even better than when Kyle sucked my balls!"
"...oh brother..."
THE END
Haha. I wrote this in like 10 minutes. I'm not even kidding. It was supposed to be sweet. It ended up being funny.