[EDWARD:]
All my stalking has paid off!
Now those werewolves can lay off,
'Cos my sweet Bella wants me
And we'll have a half-vamp baby.
[BELLA:]
Edward, I love you even tho' I hate my life
But I didn't ask to be your new wife
I want a deeper kind of commitment for us
Tell 'em now, Greek chorus!
[CHORUS:]
She wants to be a vampire, vampire
She wants to be a sparkly vampire!
[BELLA:]
What's this about a half-vamp baby?
[EDWARD:]
It's in your contract, darling.
[BELLA:]
Hmmm... you're right.
[EDWARD:]
See? We get married, have a freak-child...
[BELLA:]
And then I become a vampire?
[EDWARD:]
Yup!
[BELLA:]
Ok, that's doable.
[EDWARD/BELLA:]
So we're getting married today
A half-vampire freak child on the way
Who knew of such a twist
From an author who writes by playlist?
[CHORUS:]
They're having a little baby, baby
They're having a freaky half-vamp baby!
[BELLA:]
Wait... won't having a vampire's kid hurt me?
[EDWARD:]
Well, yeah... there's that super-strength bit.
[BELLA:]
How bad will it be?
[EDWARD:]
Oh... it'll just break your spine and crack your pelvis.
[BELLA:]
Can we renegotiate my contract? I didn't sign up for this!
[EDWARD:]
Too late for that. At least you'll be made a vampire right after.
[BELLA:]
Um... well, I guess I'll do it. Not that I have much choice now.
[EDWARD:]
So we're getting married today
And honeymooning on Isle Esme
'Cos the Cullens are filthy rich
But I'll be happy as Bella's bitch.
[BELLA:]
We're getting married today
I should probably go hide away
Having a chestburster for a young'un
Is not my idea of fun!
[CHORUS:]
They're getting married today
Then it's off to Isle Esme!
[BELLA/EDWARD:]
But just so the censors cut us some slack
We're gonna have the picture fade to black!
[CHORUS:]
Fade to black!
Let the picture fade to black!
We gotta fade to black!
Now let's fade to black!
[...and it does]