Living for You

by Kohaku Frost

Faye has chosen to keep Spike alive in her heart with her memories. Because of that, Jett wants her dead. Faye has teamed up with Ed, and the hacker has helped her cope. She thinks she's dreaming, but maybe Spike really is watching her.

Living for You

Cowboy Bebop Fic

Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own CB, or the lyrics I use. Flames will be tolerated, and will be used to roast small animals.

"Where Will You Go" By Evanescence

You're too important for anyone

You play the role of all you long to be

But I, I know who you really are

You're the one who cries when you're alone

[CHORUS:]

But where will you go

With no one left to save you from yourself

You can't escape

You can't escape

You think that I can't see right through your eyes

Scared to death to face reality

No one seems to hear your hidden cries

You're left to face yourself alone

[Chorus]

I realize you're afraid

But you can't abandon everyone

You can't escape

You don't want to escape

I'm so sick of speaking words that no one understands

Is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone

I can hear you in a whisper

But you can't even hear me screaming

[Chorus]

I realize you're afraid

But you can't reject the whole world

You can't escape

You won't escape

You can't escape

You don't want to escape

Faye Valentine lay alone in the small bed; her cheeks dry for the first time in months. It was still hard to accept that he was gone, that she would never again share a secret, hidden smile with those mismatched eyes, or run her fingers through that unruly brown hair. Spike had died at the hands of Vicious, and the violet haired woman blamed herself. She shouldn't have allowed him to go alone; she should have fought Julia for him.

Hell, she loved him, didn't she?

Didn't the pain she felt now prove her love? No. Faye sat up and a cynical smile shone in the darkness. She could never prove her love until she was with him, forever. Though her every waking thought was of Spike and her every breath was tinged with the longing to be in his arms, Faye was not suicidal.

Spike did not give her those months of his love, so that she could waste her life.

Jett didn't understand, since he wanted to go play cowboy in the afterlife, rather than live on. The former cop felt that if Faye loved Spike, she would kill herself to go be with him. Faye disagreed completely. She would not die for Spike...she would live for him. The lovely gambler believed that her loved ones only died when she did, that her memories of them kept them alive in her heart. Jett couldn't understand.

Shockingly enough, Ed understood perfectly.

Faye had bumped into the hacker on her way out of a bar, and they had suddenly started crying, just standing in the rain, crying over what they had lost. The two girls had fallen into the old habits again, and were now the most respected -and feared- bounty hunters in the solar system. The emerald eyed woman had trouble comprehending how much time had past since they laid Spike in the ground.

It had been five fucking years of utter loneliness. If it wasn't for Ed, Faye would have retired into her own little misery; she would have given in to her depression. And she would have eventually done just as Jett had tried to get her to do.

Now, Faye fell back onto her pillows, her head swimming with her memories of Spike, and she knew there would be no sleep for Ms. Valentine tonight. If only...if only she could believe that Spike had survived. That he really was waiting just around the next asteroid, secretly watching her in the shadows.

And hell, maybe he was.