Here is the usual crack from me. But this time we have an OC! gasps I don't remember any of the schools mentioning a newspaper club, so just go with it, okay? And in this one-shot we have suffixes, italics and flashbacks and flash forwards and punctuation up the wazoo. I hope that I didn't confuse you readers too much. In any case, enjoy!

And as usual, I do not own StoPani!. If I did, then Hikari would've really kicked Kaname in the shin and ran away.

After the Etoile election and the secret affair of a former-Etoile becoming not so secret, the residents of Astrea Hill slowly but steadily resumed their normal daily activities. Daily activities which consisted of school work, midnight tea parties, angsty/fluffy/sempai-kohai/kawaii yuri lovu-lovu romance, and of course- clubs.

One such club, the newspaper club, felt it was their duty (and privilege) to formally introduce and get to know the new Stars of the school a little better. Besides, the general student body was dying to know how and when exactly the fairy tale couple got together. The President of the Club, a one very smart and proud, Aiko Generiko, personally took up this assignment much to the disappointment and jealousy of her fellow club members. It was a chance to gain the spotlight, and be the talk of all three schools when the interview was finally published.

So one sunny afternoon, Aiko finally got to sit down and chat with the quiet Prince and the shy Angel in the infamous greenhouse. She was certain the end result was going to be golden.

However, after the interview, Aiko wasn't quite sure what to make of the two most important figure-heads of the school. Bathed in the orange-red light of the early evening, she sat at her desk and replayed the recorder, listening to a few of the answers that the Etoile pair had so graciously provided…

"Amane-sama, was it always your desire to become Etoile?"

"No."

"No?"

"Correct."

"Can you please expand on that a bit?"

"I dislike being the center of attention…"

"So… How did you end up running for Etoile then?"

"During a tennis match, I had a vision of Hikari-chan in a pink bubble with sparkles."

giggle "Oh, Amane-sempai!"

"A tennis match? Pink bubble?"

"Yes. I am the chosen one."

"Okay."

Aiko paused the device at this point, clearly not understanding what the hell Amane was talking about. She un-paused to listened further, but was disappointed to find only silence until she asked the next question. Hopefully the other Etoile half would be a little more informative.

"Hikari-sama, I know that you're a 3rd year, but also a transfer student. How did you adapt to St. Spica?"

"Well, it was very lonely at first. I always believed in angels, and hoped and prayed to find an angel to keep me company, but of course I didn't. Instead I met Yaya-chan! She's my roommate and close friend. She made me feel welcomed and introduced me to the Saintly Chorus, and our other friends. She's so sweet and kind, and funny, and caring and likes to joke around a lot, and she gives me hugs and touches… me…touch…she…"

"Hikari-sama! Are you-"

The recording abruptly stopped. Aiko recalled that at this point Hikari hugged herself and began to rock back and forth mumbling, "not there, not there, not there" -until Amane placed a hand on her cheek. Hikari's eyes focused again, and she gave a sweet smile like nothing happened. Aiko just frowned, not understanding, and definitely felt no desire to "go there."

Aiko fast forwarded until she heard speaking once more.

"…So how did Amane-sama and Hikari-sama meet?"

"I was riding Starbright one early morning and heard the song of an angel. I followed the voice and it led me straight to Hikari-chan. To this day, Starbright is most content when he hears her voice. Hikari-chan is my angel of music."

Aiko paused the recorder, and proceeded to laugh her head off -something she desperately wanted to do in front of the two Etoile, but managed to hold it in, faking a coughing-fit. 'Amane-sama's words are so… corny! And her horse? How could Amane-sama say such a thing without cracking up?'

Aiko tried hard not to burst out laughing as Hikari chimed in next.

"From that moment on, I knew I had found my angel. She came in the form of a tall blue-haired-girl- prince-on-a-white-horse. My prayers were answered!"

"Alleluia!" Aiko praised and threw up her arms, then rolled her eyes. 'Issues, much?'

"So I take it you two got to know each other better?"

"Oh, yes! We spent a lot of time together, meeting after school and such. I learned that Amane-sempai and I have so much in common; we clicked right away! We even went on a date to the beach where we were caught in a storm, and I found a seashell- how original!"

"But we kept it secret, so hardly anyone knew about it. Even so, it felt like no one liked us together. For some reason-"

Aiko, bored, fast forwarded the recorder a bit until she found an interesting part. As luck would have it, Amane had to excuse herself to the restroom, leaving her alone with Hikari. She decided to have a little fun with the sweet naïve blonde.

"I hear that you two had some bumps on the road to becoming Etoile? Let's start out with the rumors regarding Kaname Kenjou and Momomi Kiyashiki."Hook.

"W-hat? What rumors?"

"Oh, I don't know- I heard something particularly interesting about you and Kenjou-san." Line.

"W-what? How did you know about that?" Sinker.

"People just want the truth, Hikari-sama."

"Oh, of course."Sucker.

"Um, well uh. Y-you see, Kaname-sama said she was in love with me, and would always try and force her love onto me. And by force I mean force. She would corner me in the forest and in the bedroom, and in a broom closet, and near the lake, and in the cafeteria, and that one time near the recycling center…"

'What the fuck? And this was where the conversation derailed.' Aiko sighed.

"But of course, your heart already belonged to somebody else, right?"

"Right. And that was only part of it. She was trying to take me away from Amane-sempai, so Amane-sempai wouldn't run for Etoile, but she wasn't going to run for Etoile anyways, but Kaname-sama was, but she wanted Amane-sempai to really win the Etoile election because she always beats Kaname-sama…"

'Right….and this was when the already derailed conversation began to kick itself in the ass.'

"And then one day when Kaname-sama was forcing her love onto me in the forest again, I had enough! I said, 'Bitch, please! You think you're so tough, picking on defenseless and molestable lil'o- me? Get a life, emo-kid! Why don't you get your balls together and challenge Amane-sempai with honor? I then kicked Kaname-sama in the shin and ran away."

Aiko didn't believe what she was hearing. 'Sweet, helpless Hikari-sama, the Angel of St. Spica- calling someone a bitch and kicking them in the shin? No fucking way.'

"…So then it turns out that Kaname-sama was in love with Amane-sempai the whole time, and I was like, 'Eww, gross! It's like man-love!' But after Amane-sempai and I announced our candidacy, they left us alone. Thank-god, too! Kiyashiki-san keeps making stupid buzzing noises when she hides, and Kaname's breath always stinks, and it's not 'food' if you know what I mean."

"I...don't…"

giggle

But before she could even finish the sentence, she remembered Hikari winking at her, before turning to Amane who had just returned to her seat. Hikari then hopped off her chair and sat curled up in Amane's lap. What happened next would forever be branded in to Aiko's mind:

'Amane-sama smiled and winked at me!' A sudden shiver ran down her back. 'The hell?'

A headache started to come on, and she continued to listen to the rest of the interview with her head laying on the nice cool surface of the desk.

"Is something the matter, Generiko-san?" Oh, god-how she hated being called by her surname, it felt so common and ugly.

"Uh…no. Um...Oh- yes! Everyone knows about your riding accident and subsequent amnesia, Amane-sama. H-how did you two overcome that?"

Aiko just sighed in embarrassment at herself. She hated to be so unprofessional in front of people, especially upperclassmen! 'How the heck did this interview go so wrong? What is wrong with these people?'

"One night, alone together in a barn, Hikari sang to me, and that gave me my memories back."

'A barn.'

"I knew that Amane-sempai and I shared a deep bond of love that could not be broken by anything! No one understands our deep connection. I mean, our love is so pure!"

'Alone together in a barn. What a stupid-'

"Oh? How sweet! And then what happened?"

"And then we declared our Etoile candidacy the next day."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"That's all that happened?"

"Correct."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"So after all this time of dancing around your feelings, and prevailing through hardships, and finally reuniting - you two just… got together?"

"Correct."

"Anything special happen the night you regained your memories?"

"Yes!"

"What, Hikari-sama?"

"We looked into each other's eyes, realizing our feelings were mutual, and then we embraced tightly, and then…"

"Yes?!"

"And then it snowed!"

"…Oh…"

"Ah, that's right. It did snow. What a memorable night, right Hikari-chan? Well, Generiko-san, I'm sure you know the rest."

"R-right… Um, thank you very much for the interview, Hikari-Etoile-sama, and Amane-Etoile-sama. I'm just going to transcribe this onto paper and then type it up for the newspaper. It'll probably be featured in a week's time."

"That's fine."

"It was our pleasure, Generiko-san! I hope we answered your questions to your satisfaction!"

"Of course, Hikari-Etoile-sama. Please excuse me so I can get started right away. Good day."

"Good day!"

"Good day."

The interview was finally over, and Aiko bowed respectively to the couple, who then proceeded to leave.

And that was a few hours ago. Back in the present, Aiko just continued to lie there on the desk, the last rays of the dying sun barely giving the room any light. She was in a state between worrying about how the hell she was going to edit the much-anticipated interview, and seriously doubting the sanity of the new Etoile pair. Or the sanity of anyone from St. Spica for that matter.

A few days later, the anxious members of the club were sorely disappointed to find the interview omitted from the final version of that week's issue. They asked their President what happened, and she simply replied, "Well, I thought it would be better to keep it a fairytale."

Then as her fellow peers walked away seemingly satisfied with that cop out, she muttered, "A fairy tale on crack."