Not everyone has opportunity, not every one can be privileged, and for some people life just really, really sucks. Christopher Dejesus was one of those people, or one of those young adults to be exact. Well he liked to think of himself as a young adult. He was actually only twelve. But young adult sounds a lot better then tween, don't you think?

He wasn't one of the truly unfortunate. His family had Internet, dial up. They had a computer, from 2001. He even had enough to eat, although he had to make his own breakfast. His mother was always grumpy in the mornings. So it wasn't really worth waking her up. His father, his father was somewhere.

All in all life was pretty good to Christopher. Minus the fact he had six younger siblings that he had to take care of. Most of them were brats and those that weren't had yet to achieve sentience. So their merit as individuals was neither here nor there. Oh, and did his younger siblings know how to pick fights with people bigger then they were.

Bigger then they were, older then they were, and all of his siblings expected Chris to fight their battles for them. Last week Chris was punched in the kidneys by some twenty-year-old low life. Apparently one of Chris's younger siblings had stolen money from him. How, what, why?

Chris was your average middle schooler and he was already missing his eight of his front teeth. Sure Chris was big for his age, but big for his age meant he was about 5'6. Well being 5'6 and 180 doesn't mean squat when your younger siblings have irked just about every ne'er do well in your entire hometown.

Yeah, life was tough for Chris. What he didn't realize was, it was about to get a whole lot worse.

It all started when he was walking home from school one day and was cornered by some thugs. Then his history book fell out of his backpack, then he some how summoned Jack Kennedy. Don't ask, just don't ask, he doesn't remember what happened and as far as he was concerned it didn't happen.

Then later on that night when he was sleeping at a friend's house, he saw a something glittering through a crack in the closet. He was curious. He went to closet. Next thing he knew a tentacle shot out and wrapped around his mouth. That didn't happen either. Though it was a mystery to him and his friend how a "wet dream" could cause you to wake up covered in slime.

What was certain is he would never, ever live any of this down. It gets worse, oh it gets worse, and what a shame that next week was his thirteenth birthday.