The human body can be a complete turn off sometimes especially when certain, well most in my case, times I feel uncomfortable with contact. But now I was craving it more than I ever did with dilaudid, more than knowledge and that's saying something. There were five times I tested the waters and one time I finally knew that touch wasn't such a bad thing after all.
Foot
Flying back from the most recent case had us all exhausted. I was tired but my leg had all the energy it could muster and would not stop bouncing. Of course I knew my leg didn't have a mind of its own but tonight it really felt like it did. I needed something to ground me. I looked over at Morgan and he had his eyes closed headphones on. I always admired him but recently it was a different admiration.
My feelings for my best friend,-which I have come to terms with calling him my best friend-, had changed. I started feeling my heart rate increase; palms would get sweaty when he asked if I was okay, the whole thing was a mess in my head. I needed more information that I couldn't pick up from body cues and books so I went to my other source, the woman of the BAU. After having a huge discussion and by that I mean them trying to get every last detail out of me of who the mystery person was that caught my eye I came to the conclusion that I had more than a crus. I wasn't the best with showing my emotions unless they were to the extreme and I couldn't control them anymore. I knew I wasn't the best in the dating department with a whole two men equaling twelve dates and no physical contact at all but with the three women it was easier but none of them could ever get to the darkest of me like Derek did, none were friends like Derek and none of them understood my job like him. But I wanted to be different and calm this feeling.
I decided since he had his legs stretched out I could do the same and say it was an accident no big deal. Slowly I stretch out my legs my right leg going between his and left on the outside of his right. I smirk to myself at the boldness and closeness but what I didn't expect was him to trap my foot between his. Panic rose and I tried to pull away but I couldn't I spared a glance up and Morgan was smirking. He opened one of his eyes winked then closed them again. I didn't get my foot back until we landed but that was fine with me.
And I told myself he was fine with it too.