I AM NOT DEAD! I AM STILL ALIVE! I REPEAT, I AM STILL ALIVE!
Hey guys! Warrior Kitty here with a new story! Okay, for those who are wondering when the hell "Legend of the Aura Shard" is gonna be updated, I just wanna say that I'm extremely sorry for not updating for the past...*checks calender* month...Sweet damn... Anyways, I'm going through a pretty nasty writer's block with it, and I've had many story ideas on my mind, I can barely concentrate. Don't worry, I'll have the next chapter updated some time next week! :D
On another note...yes, the title of this story does not deceive you. I am presenting you guys today with a story about a parody Lilac and I have been planning the past couple weeks, Five Nights at Light's! So, this is an AU story, so that means whatever happens in this story, it does NOT tie into the Smash Rescuers stories, nor my other Smash Bros stories.
Also, guys, be sure to give Lilac a lot of credit for this story. She was actually the one to come up with the idea for this brilliant parody, and she gave me the permission to write this. So, she deserves a lot of the fame as well! :) Alright, so let's get started! Enjoy!
Five Nights at Light's
Chapter 1:
A calm melody came from the leaves as a calm breeze blew through some trees, sending them drifting out and into the open air. Light clouds covered the sky above Smashville, leaving it not totally dark, but not really bright. It was one of those calm days that you can just lay down on your back outside, and take a nap on a small hill. It was very nice.
As we all know, the Smash Mansion stood tall from Smashville, but once again, this story isn't going to be focusing on the Smashers and their antics, but rather a much, much more complex story that has befallen four certain characters. A story, about an experience that they know they'll never, ever forget...
Farther from the Smash Mansion, the Assist Hotel stood soundly, where all the Assist Trophies resided and spent their days as little helpers toward the Smashers in the tournaments. Within the hotel, on one of the stories, the frantic patter of feet rushed across the ground as someone was quickly running down the hall. This trophy was none other than Hammer Bro. His blue eyes were wide and he was breathing deep and fast as he continued to sprint down the hall. As he did, he barged past some of the other Assist Trophies, who gave him dirty looks for doing so. But at the moment, the koopa didn't care. He had just recently found out about something, and he was in a rush to make sure that he was able to get it.
After running down the hall for a good two minutes, Hammer Bro finally arrived at the room he was heading for and barged right inside.
"GUYS!" He shouted loudly, then tripped over his own feet and fell flat on his face. In the room, Dillon was watching something on the little tv while eating a large bag of chips. Because of the koopa's sudden entrance, he had jumped in surprise and flung the chips all the way across the room, having it land on Shadow's (who was reading a book) head. the room sat in an awkward silence until both the armadillo and hedgehog turned to look at the koopa that still lay on the ground.
"Hammer Bro, what are you doing?" Dillon asked. As soon as his words were spoken, Hammer Bro quickly lifted his head and scrambled back to his feet.
"Money! I need money!" He said frantically. "I need to know how much money we have! Right now!" He began to scurry around the room, repeating the words he had said over and over. Dillon and Shadow looked at him strangely as he did so.
"Do you mind explaining why you need money?" Shadow finally said. Hammer Bro came to a skidding stop and faced them both.
"The brand new Nintendo Power cellphone 6 just came out today and I neeeeeed it!" He explained.
Shadow stared at him with a deadpanned expression. "So you head dived into our room and caused Dillon to throw chips at my head, because of a phone?" He fell silent for a few seconds then sighed and shook his head. "This place gains more idiocy with every passing day..."
"It's not just some phone, Shadow." Hammer Bro said indignantly, crossing his arms. "It comes with enhanced internet connection, more powerful than that of any other cellphone. So strong, you don't need to know if the place you're at has wifi or not. It'll connect to the internet, no matter where you are. Second, it has the ability of limitless music, so you can buy as much as you want. You can even connect it to cable so you can watch on it! And to finish it, it doesn't have to have you create a pass code to get on, but now it has an eye-scanner, so it'll scan your eye instead and know who you are! Isn't that amazing?!"
After hearing all of this, Dillon whistled and shook his head in approval. "That is pretty impressive for a cellphone." He admitted.
"Sounds ridiculous." Shadow mumbled, unimpressed. "Last I remember, phones are used for calling people."
"I don't care!" Hammer Bro exclaimed, sprinting to their computer on the other side of the room and powered it up. "I need to know how much it costs so I can know if I can get it or not!" Right then, the bedroom door was then pushed open more and Midna floated inside. However, she wore a scowl on her face and she was all wet with drops of soda falling from her body.
"Okay, where is he?" She demanded.
Dillon looked at her and tilted his head a bit. "Uh...who?"
"Hammer Bro." Midna replied. "He was running down the hall for goddesses knows what, and he barged past me and made me spill my drink. I wanna get back at him for it, so where is he."
"He's over there, searching for that new Nintendo cellphone, or something." Shadow said, pointing to the koopa still sitting at the computer.
"What, you mean the Nintendo Power cellphone 6?" Midna asked. "Isn't that the one with the eye-scanner?"
"DANG IT!" The three all jumped at the loud shout and they turned to see Hammer Bro staring at the computer screen with despair shining in his eyes. "They cost nearly three hundred dollars?!" He said again in disbelief.
"Three hundred dollars for a cellphone?" Dillon said, baffled about the price as well. "That's outrageous." Hammer Bro let out a little sob of despair and flopped his head down on the computer desk. Meanwhile, Shadow and Midna had been quiet as they watched the little scene. Finally, the dark hedgehog let out another sigh.
"I was right about the idiocy in this hotel..." He muttered.
"How am I supposed to pay for it if it costs that much?" Hammer Bro said, his voice muffled from the desk.
"Well, how much do you guys have?" Midna questioned, placing her hands on her hips. "Because I know I'm broke."
"Hold on, let me check." Dillon walked over to where they kept most of their savings. Picking up a box, he opened it and started rummaging through it, tossing many items out of it. "Let's see; receipt, receipt, a box of gum, a few pens, hand sanitizer, another box of gum, a couple more receipts, a chapstick, a ball of lint, more gum, a few rubber bands, a coupon for fifteen percent off paper towels, more gum..."
Dillon stopped looking through the box and turned to look at the other three trophies. "Why do we have so much gum?" He asked.
"Do we have any money?" Shadow finally asked impatiently. Dillon reached back into the box and took out a handful of coins. He was quiet for a second as he silently counted them.
"We have...eighty-three cents." He answered.
"Oh, come on!" Hammer Bro shouted in despair, knowing they couldn't afford the Nintendo Power cellphone 6.
"Eighty-three cents? That's seriously how much you all have?" Midna asked incredulously. "Well that's great. We're all dead broke."
"Sooo, what do we do about it, then?" Dillon asked.
"We have to earn all that money!" Hammer Bro declared. "We need to at least earn three hundred dollars for that phone!"
"And, how do you expect us to do that?" Midna questioned him with a raised eyebrow.
"Like how other people go out to get money." Shadow answered her. "Find a job."
"Well, hold on, we have to think here." Dillon spoke up. "We need to know what kind of jobs we have to get, like ones we know we can perform without screwing anything up."
While the other three continued to discuss their current issue, Hammer Bro and wandered over to where a stack of newspapers were strewn messily in a corner. He picked up the one on top, which was the most recent one, and started flipping though the pages, hoping to find some sort of job ad that they can use. After a moment, Hammer Bro stopped and quickly spotted something that made his eyes shine with interest.
"Hey! Maybe we can try this out?" He suggested. Shadow, Midna, and Dillon glanced at each other and walked over to where the koopa sat. Looking at the newspaper that he held, they followed his gaze until they spotted a little ad, sitting toward the bottom of the page.
Raising an eyebrow, Shadow began to read it aloud. "Light Absol's Pizza, now hiring new security guards."
"Light Absol's Pizza?" Dillon repeated. "Isn't that, that restaurant that Master Hand opened a couple years ago?"
"Yeah, it is." Midna answered, then started to think. "I've never really been there, actually. Since it's supposed to be a family restaurant, mostly targeted towards kids. I don't think I could ever last being in a place like that for more than ten minutes..."
"I wouldn't even put up with five at that place." Shadow muttered.
"Well, being security guards doesn't sound like a bad idea." Dillon pointed out. "All it is, really, is just walking around a closed restaurant all night. It'd be after hours, so no one else would be there, and it's pretty simple."
"Hm, you've gotta point." Midna agreed, nodding her head.
"So should we give this a try?" Hammer Bro asked. The other three all glanced at each other.
"Sounds like a good job to have." Dillon said.
"Plus, the add says we'll be paid a hundred dollars each week." Midna added, tapping her chin. Shadow stayed quiet as he continued to think it over in his head. After a moment, he gave a huff and folded the newspaper up with a smirk on his face.
"I can easily complete a simple security guard job." He said.
"So we're doing it." Hammer Bro confirmed with a smile. "Well, what're we waiting for, now? Let's go get that job!" He ran excitedly out of the room and into the hall with the others following close behind. Now begins their experience of being security guards at Light Absol's pizza, and they think it'll be simple.
Little did they know of what, exactly, they were getting themselves into...
Oh, will this be a fun story... *evil face*
Okay, now everything will start to begin. I'm sorry if it seems a bit "meh" towards the end, I kind of rushed it a bit. -.- But, hank you guys for reading and I hope you're interested so far! The next chapter will be up soon! See ya!