This is My thoughts on what might happen after city of heavenly fire. I have never attempted Fanfiction before myself though I do enjoy it. please excuse any spelling mistakes or puctuation, I will do my best to correct any but it is not my strong suit this story is rated M for coming chapters Please read review send me your thought's input most welcome thanx :) ^v^ Ldy J. ^v^
Six months after Jocelyn's wedding
Jace walking down the road toward Clary's house. He had some time off from the institute today just a little bit and he decided to stop by Clary's they had been spending as much time as they could to gather since the wedding. Not as much as Jace would have liked however, with all that happened in the dark war with a lot of orphaned children who also parents and the decimated ranks of the shadow hunters the whole gang had been very busy trying to help out with training and or repair and basically picking up the pieces left behind by the fallout of the dark war.
Today though just did manage to get a few hours away that he could spend with Clary so he found himself on his way to her house thinking about the last time they were really together and non serious manner it was when she'd give them the Herondale ring.
That was the wonderful night Clary got Simon back and he had actually joked with her about being Clary Herondale he couldn't even believe he actually said it not out loud. She'd made a joke of it , at the time so had he. That got him wandering thinking about their wonderful time even though it was in a demon realm in the cave by that water. what would it really be like to have Clary for his wife for them to really live together? In the Herondale Manor to wake up to her every morning and to go to sleep with her every night. To not have to go to another house to see her? The mere thought gives him the warm and fuzzy.
As he walks down the street he thinks to himself. I know it eventually it's going to happen. I know there's no way I could ever marry another woman. I also knows that no matter what's in my heart at the moment logically speaking They're still too young for marriage at least in the eyes of the clave. They both have at least another year they would have to wait and that doesn't even consider Jocelyn. For no matter what I try to do, how polite and respectful I am, I always get the feeling that Jocelyn hates and or if not hates me personally despises the idea that I'm with her daughter.
When Jocelyn's first woke from the coma, and she was frosty toward me. I thought maybe it was because everyone thought I was her half demon son Jonathan Christopher. Ihat I almost could've understood but now, it's been made clear I'm not Jonathan Christopher destroyer of all things good.
I am Jace Herondale/Lightwood,no mater clave my heart of hearts I shall always be a lightwood . I have tried to prove many a times. That though I was raised by her evil ex husband I care about my duty to the clave. As a shadow hunter I have shown my loyalty. I would sacrifice Myself for the life of her daughter. For the lives in any one in Idris. Yet when I'm with Clary and Jocelyn's there I can't shake the feeling that she very much disapproves.
Clary's tells me not to take it personally that she's just once again being an overprotective mother and is having trouble with her and Jace relationship because of their ages and it reminds her of how she felt about Valentine .So, Clary says she's projecting. As Jace feet carry him further and further towards Clary's house he begins to contemplate how he can go about winning Jocelyn over
He thinks. maybe I'll enlist the help of Simon and Luke after all simon's been Clary's best friend since they were in kindergarten and Jocelyn's seem to like him really well. As I hear muffled voices raised in anger sounds like an argument I recognizes Clary's voice but can't really make out what's being said. Just as I'm about to put my hand on the door to knock I hear my name.
" Mother that's not fair what you mean I shouldn't see as much of Jace? how can you say that?" Jace heard Clary saying and he froze with his hand almost on the door.
" Don't tell me after everything you still have a problem with Jace!"
Jace couldn't quite make out the reply.
But since he heard his name he desided to listen for a minute this might give an insight into why Jocelyn is so frosty and how he might be able to fix it. Filling just a little guilty Jace start inscribing a hearing rune on his arm.
" Now wait a minute Clary listen" Jocelyn started to say, to the outrage looked on Clary's face " I will not listen to any more mother, is this why you found excuses for me not to go to the institute for the last three days because you still have a problem with Jace?!" Clary asked an outraged tone. Jocelyn's just looked at her as if trying to think how to word her answer. " no Clary that's not it well not all of it not exactly it's just-"
Clary made is sound of exasperation, " it's just what mom what? What is it that he's done that's so bad now? besides, I don't know help save the world he's not half demon he's not my brother he's a good person he risked his life without a second thought , risked his life when he barely knew me to protect me to protect Simon to rescue Simon can you please tell me what is so bad about Jace Herondale? When all he's done ever show me is love and kindness and been caring person"
" Clary that's just it he shouldn't have had to have almost given up his life for you or saved Simon, I never wanted that for you I never wanted any of this for you look at you covered in runic scars and all you wanna do is get back to the institute and learn and train since you met Jace your life has been in danger who knows how many times for sure how do you expect me not to feel? I'm your mother and it seems the more you're with Jace the more risk you put yourself. All I ever wanted and for you was a normal safe life and you had that before meeting Jace I guess I was hoping that with the major danger passed you might consider easing up on the shadow hunter stuff and enjoying some of the things that you wanted to do before all this."
I sat there for a minute and thought what to say I thought we'd moved past this, I mean sense I know about the shadow world and no longer have a blocked memory not to mention It was my special abilities with runes that saved lives and we fought and defeated my father I thought we established how things were then as she need not be so overbearing overprotective. I guess I was wrong.
" okay first, you seem to be forgetting when I knew nothing of the shadow world of demons and the dangerous people came after us you were in a coma and there was a demon in our apartment that thanks to the fact you kept me ignorant of the shadow world the demon would have killed me had it not been for Jace. In fact if anything you endangered me it was my lack of knowledge in general not to mention the risk to Simon. Jace did nothing ,except try to help me in fact he helped me help you were it not for the risks he took and the things that he taught me you'd still be in a coma and yet you can't be nice to him I really don't understand that he's not my brother he's not my father he tried to kill Valentine. Number two, you think that just because the major threat is over for now, that I'm going to what forget everything go back to school? go on a field trip eat in the cafeteria take the gym and forget about everything about the demons about the land and what you want me to forget about Jace? Find some little mundane high school boy go to a dance pretend I don't know what I know I don't feel what I feel? I can't I won't."
" Clary I-I just remember how much fun you had you and Simon all the plans you made in the band's you are taking art lessons you and Simon were going to travel see the world do normal things you went to the movies you watch TV you had fun you weren't constantly killing now you don't even draw unless it's a rune I know you are mad at me for the memory block but I told you before and I'll tell you again and do it because I did not want you to grow up surrounded in blood and death you had birthday parties and beach parties how many times did you and Simon enjoy a lake house as kids you enjoyed school plays you weren't given weapons as soon as you could walk you got to be a child you got something that almost no shadow hunter ever got including myself that's all I wanted for you and want for you that you never do anything normal anymore not like you used to and scares me" Jocelyn's said,
Clary's stood up and move toward the door " none of that explains to me your problem with Jace! What you think I haven't thought about it? Going to school hanging out with Simon just goofing off no responsibilities going to the movies doing all those things do you really think that I don't miss it? Especially with what happened to Simon recently? Sometimes I wonder what would be like to be a normal schoolgirl again... Sometimes there are things that I want to share with Jace about that part of my life but since he grew up in Idris and with Valentine it's hard for him to comprehend what something's felt like to me. Just as it's hard for me to really know what it felt like to be raised by Valentine. But that doesn't change the fact that no matter how hard you want to deny it and bury your head in the sand I am a shadow hunter and Jace he's a part of me." Clary's said,
Oh, Clary Jocelyn began, you're so young to young... "No! Clary cut Jocelyn off this has absolutely nothing to do with age I didn't say I was going to marry Jace next week look I know that you spent the last 15 or 16 years of my life in denial are trying to shield me or protect me by denying the things that happened or rather that anything happened to me the fact is Jace I are both experiments of Valentine and I'm not saying that that's entirely responsible for my feelings where Jace is concerned because that's not true for what I feel for Jace isn't a child's crush is not a simple infatuation we can understand and help each other in ways that no one else can" not even Alec for Jace or simon for me"Clary that's not true" Jocelyn interrupted Jocelyn, Clary spoke through her teeth " yes it is when Sebastian cut Jace on the battlefield and brothers Zechariah of the silent brothers could not help him without getting burned but I could and and I did."
Walking through the fire in the demon realm flashed in my mind. How I could withstand what no one not even a silent brother have. How I walked to the center of the flames could touch Jace.
How I extracted the holy fire from Jace and put it into the Morgenstern sword. For a split second I thought of explaining that to her so that maybe she would see that there was some kind of tangible connection between Jace and I but at the last second I chose not to, because Jace I had both agreed that that knowledge might be a danger to us. Instead I said " mom there are things you don't know there are things that I can't explain Jace and I we love each other-no wait, we love each other but it's more than that we have some sort of connection probably because of what Valentine did to us may be more maybe not I don't know but everyone sees its Isabel sees it, Alex sees it even Mayrse and Luke see it when Lilith possess Jace she tormented him with nightmares of my death she tried to force him to kill me".
"Oh Clary - see Just like His-"NO I roared no don't you see it took her months of tormenting nightmares of breaking Jace down to get him to bring me to the rooftop" Jocelyn sucks in a breath if I knew he was the one she mumbles-" let me finish.
He fought the whole way even under the influence of the mother of all warlocks he promised no harm would come to me he was gentle and he was kind I can remember the trembling in his body as he fought with a greater daemon was trying to force him to do no one else could have done that no one" Clary continued even though she knew her mother was not gonna like this part.
It had to be said she was hoping maybe Jocelyn would see, if not well and wasn't change what was gonna happen " lilith forced to Jace to bring the me there so she could coerce Simon into reviving Sebastian he held me close even under her influence he said don't worry Clary nothing's going to harm you I can still feel jerks of his body as he fought her influence when she told him to cut my throat" Jocelyn hissed " yes you see he fought and he bucked because even under the influence of the greater demon.
Our connection whatever it is gave him the strength to fight and you weren't there you don't believe me ask Simon it was Jace and our connection that allowed me to slice the rune giving him full physical and mental control again no one else could have fought her influence like that" Clary you don know -Jocelyn began, " yes I do, god mom can't you understand I do know because I felt it. I felt it then, what else do I have to say? You can't make things go away just because you don't like them. Sebastian had Jace under a very powerful spell.
He couldn't even think his own thoughts the things Sebastian forced him to do{Clary shivered } he still can't talk about it all not even to me and yet our connection, the connection we have brought Jace back here to me for me " I know said Jocelyn because he wanted to possess you just like his father..." I lost it then with a cry of frustration I slammed my fist through the wall by the door at this Luke came into the room. "Clary!" They both cried, I pulled my fist out of the wall I didn't even feel the pain or noticed the blood dropping to the floor. As I jerked the door open and found Jace on his knees in front of the door eyes wide full of shock and sorrow.
I was stunned for a moment so I turned back to look and Luke was stepping forward as if to help me. I wave him away " No" I said, looking at Luke " I love you and I love her and I know the you've always tried to be more understanding of Jace and that you wanted to tell me the truth a long time ago. I also know that you probably heard everything I just said." My eyes flicked to Jace he was wearing his blank mask the one that was almost bored but not quite. I could tell whatever he'd heard was troubling him and I knew that my next few sentences were going to up the disccomfort level even more for him.
I also knew that I had to try to make at least one of them understand. if we were ever going to be a family again so I mouthed please forgive me, Jace stared at me no reaction at all this time. I looked directly at Luke " when Jace was missing... When he was with Sebastian he had no free will at all none Sebastian was in control our connection with strong enough to effect Sebastian enough to Allow Jace to convince him to come for me holding up a hand I continued... While he was gone you all said poor Clary, she'll get over Jace but it was like a piece of myself was dying slowly." from behind me I heard Jace breathe "Clary no...are you sure ..." I felt Jace grab my hand from behind. I felt the fine tremors run up my arm from his fingers wrapped around mine. I look back over my shoulder at Jace on his knees holding my hand although the look on his face never changed where Jocelyn and Luke might see it I could feel his fear and reservation I smiled, " SHHH... Trust me." I said, giving his hand a squeeze I seen him mouth "always" before turning my eyes back to Luke.
I continued, " He is not Valentine, he did not come here to get me to possess me or keep me he did not come here meaning to harm you or mom. That happen out of sebastian's hatred for mom .Our unexplainable connection brought him here seeking help from the one person who could possibly break him free from Sebastian grip. The things he was forcing Jace to do. I cannot and I will not speak of everything that I know. My being with Jace and our connection kept Sebastian in check somewhat. In the end I had to do something something that neither one of you could do I had to stab the man that I love through the heart... for all intents and purposes, for the second time watch him die this time By my hand and in my arms. I could feel him slipping away "
My voice caught at the memory of those horrable moments. The feel of the blade as it sliced threw the flesh and into the heart. the look of utter shock ,hurt horror and betrayal that was in his eyes at first. then the fear he tried bravely to mask as he lay in my arms. His warm blood starting to coat my legs and hands. My utter despair desperate plea's for hin to hear me knowing that if he died the only thing that would me living was the fact that killing myself would be failing Jace twice. That I would not do whatever misery came up on me at his death I deserved .
I heard Jace or Luke or maybe both say "Clary?" I felt Jace sqeeze my hand almost painfully it was enough to snap me out of that memory. My eyes snapped open, I hadn't even realized I had closed them against the pain of the flood of memory I could now feel my body trembling. "By the angel pull it together Fray." Giving myself a hard shake along with a very deep breathe I steeled my voice to continue. "Were it not for Our connection he wouldn't be here can you understand that now?" I stared steadily Luke and he nodded, as I started to speak again I could feel the Jace had found himself enough to start drawing and healing rune on my hand .
Still looking at Luke since my mother refused to hear me I said, " I know that you set rules that I'm not supposed to stay the institute but after tonight's conversation I see now that she my mother can't see anything passed Her own projections and judgments in that she's not ready to face the truth. I can't be here right now I think it would just make things worse. I love you mom but until you can see that I'm not you and Jace is nothing truly like Valentine. I'm going to be staying at the institute were technically all training shadow hunters are supposed to stay. Before you object I will have my own room in Mayrse is there, she has rules." My mom's eyes flashed. I seen from the corner of my eye as I stared at Luke who just nodded solemnly. Mom step forward but Luke pulled her back murmuring inner ear. I heard her breathe Clary as I stepped past Jace and out onto the porch closing the door.
I leaned back against the door for a few moments. I had sort of forgotten about opening the door to find Jace standing there. until I felt a tentative touch on my shoulder, like it wasn't sure if it's welcome. When I didn't protest a gentle squeeze with my eyes squeezed, shut I let myself be propelled with tears streaming down my face silently into jace's chest. I let myself relax for just a second while he stroked my hair , my back for just a second I let him comfort me until I realized that he was murmuring that he was sorry and that this was all his fault. When I heard those words I became irrationally enraged. I jerked away from him. In the same movement slapped his face so hard that his head rocked back on his shoulders. He stared at me stunned for a split second. Before I could explain why I'd slap him he dropped his head and shrugged as if to say I guess I deserved that.
At that look on his face, any rational thought I had left at the moment was replaced by a fine rage that went through me so hard and fast, that I grabbed jace by the shirt front and threw him off the porch into the yard he was taken by surprise so he landed on his back. I threw myself on top of him I slapped him again and again. He made no move to protect himself which infuriated me even further. finely I collapse on top of him. My face buried in his neck sobbing. Slowy he started stoking my hair,my backrunning his hands down my arms even though I still had him penned the ground with my lower body in the back of my mind I was amazed that Luke hadn't come out to investigate.
" I love you" I said into jace's neck he put his hands on my shoulders and push me back far enough to see my face. His eyes were guarded and weary.
"Oh? So, slapping the shit out of me and throwing me off your porch that was what fore- play?" he asked, with a sarcastic mocking.
"No" I said, while throwing myself off of him a standing up I held down to him. Pulled him to his feet so I could look him in the eyes. "No, that was just me getting really pissed that you.! ... Don't apologize for what just when on in my mother's house ever again. It's not your fault. I don't ever want you thinking that it is. Do you understand me Jace Herondale?!"
He just look at me for a second. Then all of sudden he burst out laughing, picked me up around the waist spun around a circle once then kissed me very soundly on the mouth he broke away with wince. Rubbing the side of his face eyes sparkling. " Damn woman when you got a serious point to make and your pissed you make it don't you ? " I suddenly felt ashamed I leaned up on my tiptoes and gently Kissed his cheek. " I'm so sorry, jace I shouldn't have done that to you. I love you... But just hearing you apologize for that mess... Along with everything else. I don't know I just lost it please forgive me." I said "Shhhhh Clary Love SHHHH from what I heard your under a lot of pressure you just need to release some" jace said " I knowthat, but you didn't deserve that" I said " No don't look at me like that you jace Herondale you do not deserve to be somebody's abusing post no matter what you might think" he laughed again, " my dear," he said while waggling his eye brows " I would rather be abused like that by you any day then to have you go pick fights with werewolves like I've been known to do when I need to blow off steam.
Besides it kind of turned me on" he said eyes flashing gold in the moonlight I just made an exasperated sound grabbed his hand and said " come on we need to get back to the institute before Luke comes out here to see why we're still standing in the yard. Speaking of blowing off steam I wanna grab some weapons when we get there I think I need to kill things tonight" jace's just laughed pulled me into the warm embrace of his arms we started heading as back down the sidewalk toward the institute kissing the top of my head he said with a growl " just when I think there isn't anything else possible you give me another reason the love you."