Disclaimer: I don't own a bunch of things. I just decided to borrow them for a non-profit leisure. Just entertainment. I promise no monetary earnings are received for this. Just a bunch of laughter (I hope) and smiles.

Warnings: Alternate Universe, MILD crossover, out-of-character persons abound, and a good deal of smut later. All are human. EVERYTHING will be in Edward's POV. I've had enough of Bella's thoughts from the books, thanksverymuch. grumbles about the ninny

IMPORTANT Note: If you want descriptions of the places I'm using, look them up. I am not really lazy, just a tad, and I am not from Washington State. I am actually from the Northeast (go figure); using my imagination on how the Northwest is from memory.

Summary: In which Edward is an intern, Emmett has a medical degree, Jasper is a male nurse, Alice and Rosalie have a strange condition, and Bella is dragged along for the ride. A hospital shall never be the same.

Dedicated to vjgm; you have more faith in me regarding my Twilight story ideas, my friend.

S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R.S

Chapter One: The One Where It All Began

I walked out of Starbucks and into the cold morning of Seattle air. It was nothing special but it reminded me of a less garbage-scented Chicago. There was a bit of perfume here, and cologne there and I nearly wrinkled my nose in disgust as I walked next to a college student who most likely spilled an entire bottle of whatever body-odor-cover he used. Ugh. I walked more briskly, my long legs quickly overtaking him and putting a pretty good distance between us. Ah, there much better. My nose was now safe from the vile smell.

I took a sip of my caffeinated beverage and let my mind wander to how I would be spending the next couple of years.

I am almost finished with medical school, and am now interning at one of the hospitals Seattle, Washington had to offer for surgery, Seattle Grace. You could say that it's my last hurdle in the world of academia for now. I'll probably take some refresher courses later, as I need to.

I had originally wanted to stay in Chicago, where I was born and raised. But my parents were driving me bonkers. Mother dear had an endless list of friends whose daughters wanted to date me, or marry me. Father had pitched a fit when I didn't want to become a business man like he had.

Thank goodness my grandparents on both sides had the foresight to leave me some fortune to use for college. Being their only grandchild (my parents never had any kids, or siblings); they gave me everything I needed. Anything else I wanted, I had to earn. So I knew that I had to work for my keep.

My pushy parents irritated me enough for the last time during my sophomore year of college, and so I flipped a coin on whether I wanted to finish my undergraduate studies and pursue a medical career at Columbia University in New York, John Hopkins in Baltimore, Maryland or the University of Washington in Washington State (not D.C.). And UW called my name. As it luckily turned out, being a Husky was the best choice for me.

Most people left me alone, correctly reading that I did not want to be bothered. I got invited to a couple of parties, knew a bit of people, but there were only a couple of I really counted on. Ben Cheney and Eric Yorkie were the coolest guys I've ever met. Hanging out with them deterred many fake friends from coming near me. Only they knew that I wasn't quite the snobbish guy I portrayed myself to be. The only downside was they went to the other side of the country for graduate school.

Eric wanted to pursue a career in architecture so he headed to the New Jersey Institute of Technology. His aunt offered him to put him up at her place on top of receiving a full scholarship there. Ben already received a teaching position at one of the high schools in New Jersey, as well. He will be bunking with Eric's family, as invited by the ever generous aunt.

And me? Like I said, I'm interning at Seattle Grace; one of the best teaching hospitals in the country. For the next seven years, this will be my home away from home. This is where I will learn which specialty to take. Is my desire to become a surgeon enough? Am I ready to become a doctor? Will I be one of the best practitioners of medicine?

I was fifteen steps from finding out. The glass doors that were waiting for my arrival along with other peers admitted a handful number of people were in site. I remained blasé on the outside as I quickened my steps to enter the medical facility.

Well, that was where it all began.

I looked around in silent awe. I couldn't suppress it. I had to admit I was excited! I had been studying for this moment for some seemingly never-ending years. I asked the male receptionist (rare as they are, I was glad not to deal with a female one so early in the morning before finishing my lukewarm drink) where the locker rooms for the interns were and I thanked him before continuing onward quickly. I found it without getting lost, and entered. I kept calm outwardly in spite of my inward giddiness (you wouldn't understand unless you went through what I did to get here). The only downside of the locker rooms was that it was co-ed. I had to shake my head when I heard a couple of guys discuss the women in the vicinity with disparaging and unprofessional remarks.

God, people needed to grow up.

Blissfully, I found a nearly full row with some normal-looking people. Each row had twenty, full-body length lockers with a bench in the middle separating them in half allowing ten to be on one side and ten on the other. We were told to bring our own locks to secure our belongings. I was lucky to have found the last one, even though it was in the middle.

Thankfully, the people in my row looked extremely focused, especially this one Korean female. I wouldn't have minded her being in my group. I could somewhat tell that she had the mind-set to just go out there and do this. The way she stuffed her locker with a mountain of food, as if she expected to stay at the hospital for 24/7 without the service of the cafeteria, told me that she was ready to learn. Actually, now that I think about it, she was eager. She didn't look at any of the guys, didn't look at me after the initial glance-with-nod-of-acknowledgment. This was someone who was ready to learn how to be a doctor.

There were two blondes, one with statuesque features and the other with more soft and gentle prettiness on the other side of the bench in my row. I recognized her as Meredith, my landlady who brought somebody home last night. She gave me a nonchalant nod, before the Korean approached them. They were discussing their excitement about being in the program; the day was finally here; how they look forward to working with each other and learning from the best mentors.

I wouldn't have minded if Meredith or the other blonde were to be in my group either.

Two guys were on the other side of the girls, one looked like someone I wouldn't get along with and the other seemed a bit of a pansy for me to get along with.

The latter exclaimed, "I'm George O'Malley. I'm so excited to be here. Aren't you?"

The former raised his eyebrow, "Sure. Whatever. Why don't you tone it down a little, O'Malley? This isn't kindergarten." He finished securing his locker. "I'm Alex Karev, do me a favor, remember my name and don't get in my way." Then he left.

That dulled a bit of George's enthusiasm but the blonde came over before glaring at Karev's departure. "I'm Isobella Stevens, but you can call me Izzie…" She proceeded to talk his ears off, which he welcomed.

I was right with my assessment about Karev, but was wrong with O'Malley. I would get along with him, eventually. Even if I wouldn't be open and warm like him, I wouldn't snub him as much as I had done with a couple of kids from high school and college. The kid knew his medicine, as he displayed with a chatterbox named Izzie. I was listening as I finished changing into my blue scrubs.

I grabbed my stethoscope and white lab coat with the essentials (pocket protector and a couple of writing utensils) then I gave the four a parting nod. I passed a vile creature of the male species stating he wanted to be an OB/GYN for the females. What a pig. I didn't need to read his thoughts to know he was perverted. Then I exited into the hallway where I took a spot, virtually void of interns waiting for their residents within a five feet radius.

I thought about the people I've seen so far, erased whatever expectations I had, and thought about reasonable goals I'm setting for myself when an unwelcome presence invaded my privacy.

"Hi, I couldn't help but notice that you weren't at the mixer last night and thought I should introduce myself! My name is Jessica, what's yours?" A too-perky brunette interrupted my musings, and I nearly snarled in irritation at her. Nearly, that is. I settled for flaring my nostrils. She seemed taken aback by my hostility; no doubt the scowl on my face was scaring her.

Cheney and Yorkie once commented how I had this down to a science. Actually, that's a lie. They made jokes about it all the time. If anyone steps into my personal space without my consent, I react violently. Especially when they dared to intrude on my thoughts. They compared me to a feeding lion, a groggy dragon, protective panther, and some other wild animal related preference.

It made her smile wanly and silently scooted away from me. She seemed like a vapid female, who needed a good dose of reality smacked into her.

"HA! Never saw that coming!" My gaze immediately met a young adult with Native American features who ventured into my area. Although I had to give him credit. He kept his distance, correctly reading the fact that I didn't like being mindlessly accosted like that chit had done. He gave me a nod, which I returned. That rhetorical remark gave me a bit of hope. Maybe there would be someone in this program I could actually get along with. If they were all like the bubble brain that just annoyed me or Tyler Crowley from a couple of my biology classes… I'd probably shoot myself; better yet, find a way to shoot them all.

I became a bit more open after the nods. I stepped towards him, and extended my hand. "I'm Edward Masen. I'd like to state for the record that I am neither gay nor do I have anything against homosexuals. But I do have a bone to pick with people who can't grasp the atmosphere."

He laughed as he shook my hand. "I'm Seth Clearwater. I have to warn you that I have older sister here, in the same program. She is not always mindful about the… atmosphere, and that girl is Jessica Stanley, who is her "new best friend"." He used his hands to quote the words, clearly disgusted at thought as I was. He nodded his heads in their direction, and I didn't bother looking; knowing they were talking about me.

"So, Seth; what did I miss last night?"

"Not much, it was just rubbing elbows with the right people. You were better off not coming."

There was a mixer the night before, to congratulate the selected interns and break them into the hospital scene without the medical pressure. I had opted not to stay the entire night, as I knew it would have been a boring event. I had actually only stayed for the opening ceremony, received the customary speech before I went up to the Chief of Surgery, Dr. James McAvoy, to excuse myself from the rest of the party immediately, avoiding contact with the people I would soon be in close quarters every day with for the next couple of years, if all went well. He had told me that I would be with one of his top seven best mentors, Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

That man was an extremely well renowned neurosurgeon and I interviewed him for one of my research papers regarding neural responses to music before and after falling into coma.

I smirked, "Who said I didn't come? I was there for the opening speech and left extremely shortly afterward. "

"Did you find out who your resident's going to be?"

"Dr. Cullen."

"Far out! You're with me!"

"Who else is in our group?"

"We're pretty lucky. We're mostly guys."

I noticed how he winced at the end. "What's the ratio?"

"It's three-to-two; four-to-two if you count Dr. Cullen."

I bit back the groan about to erupt from within. "Who are they?"

"Jessica and my sister, Leah." Of course. It had to be them.

"Isn't there some rule that says you can't be in the same group as your sibling?"

"That is true… if it we had the same last names and if we are pursuing the same field. My sister's married and she's focusing on plastic surgery. I want to specialize in cardiothoracic. It also helps that our ages are about seven years apart. I graduated high school and college early. I was in an extremely accelerated program back in La Push…" he prattled on a bit, as he shared his history with me. I guess the kid in him had to burst out some time. To think, he was just nineteen. A Doogie Howser character, who woulda thunk it?

I supposed I'm lucky his sister was already taken and wouldn't be coming after me, at least I had hoped. You'd never know with girls. Guys might suck; I speak generally for my overall species as one of them. But girls are insane. I should know. Padded bras at age nine, sex or booze at twelve to fit in, married/pregnant at sixteen, divorced before hitting twenty. Does any girl value their virtue or dignity anymore? Add the fact that my incorrigible mother was one of them, and I really didn't want to deal with any female until I am thirty. Yes, thirty. Then I heard Jessica giggle like a hyena. Make that fifty.

Shallow and impossible creatures. That's what females were!

Dr. Cullen, a baby-faced blond who was about three inches shorter than I was came up with a kind smile. His soft disposition garnered much attention. I heard many female sighs and repressed my own annoyed one to come forth. Were we here to learn about medicine or not, ladies?

I then noticed that a couple more of his colleagues followed him. One was a short African-American female, who spoke up with much authority, "My name is Dr. Bailey. Grey, O'Malley, Stevens, Yang; follow me! I hate to waste time. If you don't keep up with me now, you would never be able to do so in the future…" Her voice faded a bit as she got further away. For such a vertically-impaired woman, she can walk a bit faster than me! And I am six feet and five inches!

Dr. Cullen chuckled as one by one they quickly tailed after Dr. Bailey like chicks with their mother hen. It figured that my locker row mates weren't in my group. Oh well, I had Doogie.

"Alright, my name is Dr. Cullen; I would like for Dr. Black, Dr. Masen, Dr. Newton and Dr. Stanley to follow me."

Wait a second, he didn't call out Clearwater. I looked at Seth in as much alarm as I allowed myself the liberty of expressing at that moment. He was shocked, too and was about to bring up the issue to Dr. Cullen before the man held up a hand.

"I know, Dr. Clearwater that you were initially assigned to my group; however due to certain circumstances we had to review," he glanced at a female Native American (had to be the sister, they looked too much alike) with the pesky, perky brunette earlier, "Dr. McAvoy has decided for you to be transferred to Dr. Sevigny. She's very good!" As he spoke, he handed out our ID badges and pagers.

Seth and I exchanged glances. I knew we couldn't do anything about it. At least Sevigny was not a bad cardiothoracic surgeon/resident. She wasn't like Dr. Hahn from Mercy West, or Seattle Grace's head of the cardiothoracic programs, Dr. Burke; but she knew her stuff.

Seth gave me a nod in encouragement. So I turned and kept my pace with Dr. Cullen as we made our way around our section. He instructed us to call him Carlisle, as though we were colleagues, outside of patients' ears. He then explained what needed to be done, what he expected, and allowed us to diagnose numerous patients in a classroom manner. He gave us our time cards, showing us where we would be clocking in and out. Newton went first, but I went last; my true character as a gentleman showing through. A mistake, since it set Stanley into a dreamy fit.

Carlisle then led us back up to one of the floors, brushing by Bailey's frantic group, who had already snapped up the most interesting cases. O'Malley would be the first to express how Dr. Burke's tutelage made him feel for he got to scrub in on one of his surgeries! Lucky dog.

We were eventually split up, Stanley with Burke, Black with Shepherd (a Northeastern neurosurgeon who had just transferred here) and Newton with a resident OB/GYN. A couple of emergency procedures needed to be conducted in the pit, so I volunteered my services and I was able to practice performing minor sutures and the like for average, low-emergency care FAR, FAR away from Stanley's lewd gazes.

I wasn't too disappointed about being assigned in the pit, where the 'least action' happened. I was away from my group "mates" for the next couple of hours, until lunch; which was when our first session as acting-doctors would end. We would have an hour to recuperate, before we needed to go back and resume our duties.

I was not looking forward to reconvening with them in the cafeteria. I have no desire to endure Stanley's prattle, Black's presence (I got the feeling she was catty and self-absorbed), and Newton's existence.

I smelled Newton before I even saw him follow Carlisle when he led us to our section. He was the guy from this morning when I was walking to Seattle Grace. Geez, they allowed him to graduate? I heard him comment to some other Neanderthal in the locker room about how he wanted OB/GYN to see a bunch of vagina.

Again, when would people grow up?

I finished cleaning a kid's cut with a, "There you're all set, Johnny. Use your pads, they were invented for a reason," heard a somewhat sarcastic agreement, left the room divider and approached the nurses' desk for my next patient.

I didn't notice that I let out a sigh which made a blond, male nurse about my age or so laugh. "You're going to be seeing a lot of cases like that. You'd probably have nightmares." He had a slight, toned down Southern accent.

I pinched the bridge of my nose at the thought of never-ending pit duty. "God forbid." But then laughed dryly. "Thanks for the head's up. I didn't know what I was doing, volunteering to work the pit. Dr. Cullen might have let me tag along with him for a neurosurgery or something. Stick me with Dr. Bailey, or something."

"Ha ha, you wouldn't wanna go with the Nazi. "

"The Nazi?"

"Dr. Bailey. You'll find out eventually. Word of advice? Don't stand around doing nothing when she's around, be alert and focused. She would rarely do so, but if she ever ordered you to do something, just do it. Carlisle will understand if that ever happens. Even he wouldn't cross her."

"Thanks for the tip. She was quite the bossy little thing when she picked up her interns for rounds first thing this morning."

"You seem like you're a good guy. I'll try to give you the more interesting cases, everybody else annoyed me today. My name's Jasper Whitlock, and as you can see I'm a male nurse."

I smiled wryly. "Edward Masen."

"Good to meet you, Dr. Masen."

"Likewise, Nurse Whitlock."

We both burst out laughing, getting each other's sense of humor instantly. Then we heard our stomachs growl in sync, setting us off again. In unison, we looked at our watches, and saw that it was a couple of minutes before noon. Usually, nurses and doctors didn't get along. They were biased against us, and vice versa. But he wasn't bad, was actually charismatic by nature. I'd rather hang out with him than my group. So far, he's the only one in this hospital who has eased my hidden irritation with an easy conversation.

"Hey, wanna join me and a friend of mine in the cafeteria? It's usually just us at our table. We're not exactly the most congenial people, with most of the staff around here gossiping for things we don't have a care for; but you don't look like you'd be discussing which doctor bagged which nurse." He offered, as he finished piling some loose leafs into someone's chart.

I nodded; I didn't have to report to Carlisle until one o' clock in the E.R. department. We clocked out together for our meal and made our way to get food. The selection left much to be desired, as with any other cafeteria, but it wasn't too bad. Having hospital food once in a while wouldn't kill me. But I made plans to find out the local grub places, or make my own if I get the chance.

Jasper wasn't too talkative, and only spoke when needed. It was a refreshing change from Cheney and Yorkie. He wasn't an introvert, per se. He just chooses the time to be less reserved.

He did say, "Don't even think about being able to make yourself lunch for the next couple of weeks or so. You'll be busy, and you have to get used to the work load. Emmett and I don't eat cafeteria food daily; but on days like these, we have to remain on the premises, especially since we could be paged at any given time in case of a state emergency."

We exited into the courtyard where we could have fresh air. There were umbrellas over the tables so we could eat out here, even when there was rain. I saw a pretty enormous guy with curly brown hair in dark green scrubs sitting by himself at one of the tables.

"That's Emmett." Jasper remarked, noticing that I had spotted our dining companion already. He was a bit shorter than me, but he easily matched my pace, going as far as to lead me to where Emmett was.

"Yo!" A booming voice without a trace of Southern twang called out to us as we approached the table. "Rookie doc?"

Jasper nodded. "One of Carlisle's shadows. He's the most competent looking out of the bunch, except for Bailey's indentured servants."

"Ah, Miranda's slaves." The big guy nodded. "Did you hear O'Malley froze like a deer in headlights when Burke's patient had a complication in one of the O.R's?"

That was news to me. "Poor guy."

Emmett gave me a wry smile. "It happens. You should see the interns they send me, Dr. McCarty."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a physical therapist, specializing in sports medicine."

Jasper quipped, "And he's almost finished attending school part time to study orthopedic surgery. But he's already in his third year."

"Gotta love accelerated programs." Emmett's muscles bulged as he clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "So who are you and what do you do anyway?" He asked me.

"I'm Edward Masen. I'm one of Carlisle's interns. I was thinking about specializing in neurosurgery."

The hour went on, as we exchanged tidbits of each other's lives.

I learned that Jasper was the first Seattle Grace employee. He knew he wanted to be a nurse ever since he was a kid, who took care of his relatives back in Texas. He went to University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. He was working in New York, when he discovered that he hated Manhattan and didn't want to commute from New Jersey either. He still wanted to work in a city except for Dallas [he was from Texas, but was not a Bush supporter, so he decided to use darts on a United States map. His parents were staunch Republican-conservatives, but he was a bit more liberal; as he learned about the changing times. So he didn't really want to stay in Texas.

"The dart landed on Seattle, and so here I am. So far I love it."

Emmett moved into town from "the farm", as they referred to his home back in Tennessee. Like me, his parents were dictating him on what to do with his life; even as far as betrothing him to a "nice, Southern Belle" to marry when he turned eighteen. He didn't want to do any of that. Besides sports medicine was his calling. So, he plotted. He remembered his uncle, who turned out to be Carlisle, and with his help, he came here. His parents ended up disowning him, when he followed his dreams when he was fourteen.

"So, Dad- er Carlisle adopted me treated me as if I was his son, but I kept my biological parents' last name to avoid confusion here at the hospital. He helped me graduate high school early, put me through college and med school. I studied and worked my ass off. Now, I'm pretty content."

I also learned that they were living right next to each other in an affordable condominium complex not too far from Seattle Grace. I was renting a huge place with Yorkie and Cheney just a little bit outside of the city; the two just moved out to live in Jersey when her daughter came back. She was nice, but I needed to be closer to the hospital, since I have no method of transportation. My Volvo was back in Chicago, being held ransom. I told them that, and they said there was actually one vacancy on their floor, and they can snap it up for me.

I then learned that the complex was actually owned by Esme Cullen, Carlisle's wife.

"Uncle Doc and Aunt Moneymaker aren't exactly hurting for money." Emmett said after finishing a gulp of pop. "They usually rent out at a very affordable, even flexible price, to university students, or Seattle Grace starter employees like we used to be. She kept that entire floor off limits for a couple of years for us, but last month; a couple of girls who won over her moved in. Spur and I only met one of them. She's such a sweetheart."

Spur was Jasper's nickname, as he was adverse to being called Ja or Jazz. I was already dubbed Ed. In return, I correctly dubbed him Em.

They both started laughing. "I hope she was fine this morning. We heard her fall down in the elevator just before we left." Jasper said. "She hasn't been in Seattle for a month, and already everyone in the E.R. knows her by name."

Emmett added, "That girl could easily fall just by standing. I don't know how works out at the Y without hurting anyone."

On that note, we had to go back to reality so we threw our trash away and clocked back in. We separated ways, promising to meet up after we get off at four at the front entrance, to show me around their place.

I had to meet up with Carlisle and the rest. I was the first one to meet up with the good old doctor. "Hello, Dr. Cullen. How was your lunch?"

"Extremely delicious, thank you. My wife made me a fantastic lunch."

"Good to hear, sir."

"I saw you talking with my son in the courtyard, Edward. I was happy to witness that. I hadn't seen him open up to anyone else aside from Jasper in the years he's worked here. I hope he hasn't introduced himself in any weird manner."

I smiled. "If you meant his love for pranks, you needn't worry. Spur was there to keep him in check."

Carlisle sighed as his other students approached us. "Usually, I would hear some new intern receiving a whole wad of spitballs on back the head during lunch by now. I'm glad that didn't happen this year."

"I think it helped that he knew I was one of your underlings, so thank you sir."

He laughed, and turned to the rest of his students. He was about to speak up when his pager went off; then ours followed.

We checked, and were told to report to the nearest nurses' station, which turned out to be Jasper's. He gave me a conspiratorial smile as he handed Carlisle two charts. He quickly read through the nurse's notes for both patients. I had glimpsed the labels, which read "Brandon, Mary", and "Hale, Rosalie" before the charts was hidden from sight. We followed him to one of the closed curtains on the floor and told us to wait outside while he went inside to speak with a girl.

Newton commented rather loudly, "I bet it's really exciting! We might even get to see blood and guts!"

I chose to ignore him while the girls shot him death rays at the insensitive remark.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but that's not gonna be the case." Carlisle quipped as he came out from the curtain went up to me. "Edward, would you please wheel patient number one to room number 512 in the telemetry department? The patient is somewhat highly temperamental and I think your presence would keep her from blowing up." He then quietly said, "Be quick, very quick. Do your best not to let others see her. You have my consent to read her chart once you're in a more private setting."

He gave me a key for the elevators along with a chart. Using the key he gave me would prevent others from getting on the same elevators as I was. It was used to speed up the process of getting a patient up the floors without detention.

I nodded at my assignment and went into curtain number one as he led the others into curtain number two.

First thing I saw was a slip of a girl who was redder than the Nintendo DSL unit I have on my desk at my place. She had brown hair tied up in a pony tail, and she looked utterly guilty and borderline miserable with lots of hope written on her features as she looked down on the floor.

The next thing I saw was my group's patient. She had blonde hair, and looked completely healthy, if not for the clear wrath I saw on her features. She was staring at the brunette with as much venom as she could possibly display.

I thought it was high time to break the stare fest. "Hello, ladies. I am Dr. Masen, Dr. Cullen's assistant. I'm here to move you into your room."

Blondie gave me a scathing glance. I could almost hear her mind yelling at me to mind my own business and that she didn't need to be here.

I turned my attention to the other girl. "Do you have her things?"

Her head remained in its downward position but she nodded, acknowledging the fact that she heard me. Further inspection of the 'room' enabled me to spy a duffle by her seat.

"Ok, let's get you out of here, miss." I moved quickly, letting my built-in mechanisms operate the gurney without preamble, unlocking the wheel stoppers and tested the motion of the bed. It was a good thing I worked out regularly, with the various gym equipment Cheney and Yorkie bought from Target, so that I easily coaxed the bed from its place. I quickly pulled the curtains aside and maneuvered it off, without speaking to the blonde, or the brunette who silently followed us.

Jasper wasn't at his desk when I passed, but I had other things to think about. I haven't taken a look at the chart, planning to look through it during the elevator ride. I inserted Carlisle's elevator key and waited.

I turned to look at my patient and her companion, who didn't speak with each other at all. I attempted to make conversation, to avoid the tension that surprisingly suffocated me. "So are you ladies sisters?"

Blondie snorted. "Not at all."

I frowned. This wasn't going the way I expected.

The brunette suddenly threw up her hands. "Rose, I am sorry for hurting you but I will not apologize for bringing you here. But you have to admit, it's not natural!" She was angry, but kept her voice at a low volume. "You have to stop acting like a baby, and face this! It's destroying you! Yoga is not helping, hypnotism definitely did not work; I refuse to let you let your life pass you by like this!"

My patient's eyes flashed as she hissed, "I never asked you to help me out! I've been taking care of myself for the past couple of years just fine!"

"No, you most certainly have not been taking care of yourself! But someone HAS to!"

The elevator's arrival stopped further conversation, and I got ready to wheel Rosalie (as I deduced from spying the chart earlier) into it.

The doors opened up to a familiar face, "Hey Ed, goin' up?" Emmett held the door open with one, big burly hand as I wheeled the bed inside, nodding in assent at his question. "I was supposed to get off on the fifth floor, but I suppose this is what I get from taking the elevator just to go down one floor when I could have easily taken the stairs."

I replied, "That's where we're heading."

He then saw my patient's companion. "Oh hey Bella, what are you doing here? Not another accident?"

She shook her head "no", not making eye contact with anybody else.

Rosalie finally stopped glaring at the brunette to look at her elevator companions. When she heard Emmett chuckle as he pressed the number 5 button, she immediately started to squirm. Bella let out a horrified, "Oh no!"

The elevator doors closed just in time for three of us to hear a not-so-suppressed moan.

Emmett's jaw dropped and said, "Holy shit, are you okay?" We put our stethoscopes on in tandem and moved to check up on the patient, who was now flushed red, and panting. "Edward, what's her condition?"

"I don't have an answer for that! Carlisle told me not to look into her charts until I was somewhere private!" I looked at Bella for help.

Before she could say anything, Emmett had grasped one of Rosalie's arms to take a pulse and we heard a louder moan followed by a guttural noise, slowly but surely building up in volume. "Ah, ahh!"

Wait a second.

The only coherent female in the elevator was blushing. We looked at her for answer. Rosalie had slipped her hand from Emmett's slackened grasp before arching her back. I looked above, and we were just between the third and fourth floors.

"OH MY GOD!" My attention snapped to the blonde on the bed as she raised her hips as if meeting an invisible thrust, tense and let out the loudest, primal moan she could produce before relaxing back on the bench.

The doors opened without any of us speaking, only moving. I think we were in shock. I know I definitely was too stunned to say anything. Emmett and I wheeled her out of the elevators, nearly running into some people who scrambled out of our way.

"Hey!"

"Watch it!"

We mumbled some halfhearted apologies and excuse me's. After what seemed like forever, we rounded the corner and I spotted 512. It was open, and vacant. Thank God for small favors. We took the spot furthest from the door, and quietly parked the gurney in an appropriate manner. I locked the wheel stoppers before taking a deep breath.

I started to ask, "Did she just –," but I was cut off by approaching cries of ecstasy. The female scream peaked, a couple of feet from the door. It was quite loud, too.

Emmett and I exchanged glances before looking at Rosalie.

She shook her head, "That wasn't me." We knew that, but what were the chances of another patient with the same inexplicable phenomenon happening on my first day as an intern?

Again, I smelled Newton before I saw him passing the room, unable to turn into it, and probably smacking into someone who cried out with an indignant shriek. Behind him was another gurney, this time occupied by a small, petite girl with short, straight, black hair. It was being expertly wheeled by Carlisle and Jasper into the room, and into the vacant space closer to the hallway. Black and Stanley brought up the rear and shut the door; they proceeded to sink to the floor, effectively barricading the door from opening.

All were red-faced and panting, probably like Emmett, Bella and I were previously.

"Damnit, Jessica and Leah! Let me in!" Newton's voice said as he attempted to get into the room. The girls scooted forward from their seat, giving him enough room to enter.

Like the rookies we were, we faced Carlisle. One look at me told him that I didn't even have the chance to look at the chart.

"Welcome to your first lesson in Cullen's Practical Health Care 101." Our mentor announced. "Meet exhibit A, Miss Rosalie Hale and exhibit B, Miss Mary Alice Brandon. Both are suffering from the same female orgasmic disorder we all have come to know as…"

The occupants of the room chorused, "Spontaneous orgasms."

It was all elementary really, when you get to think about it. Quite obvious, as it were. The way it happened in the elevator took me by complete surprise. I understood why Carlisle advised me not to take a look at the chart until I was somewhere private. I was grateful, actually.

But witnessing it first hand was completely different.

Seeing it again was mind boggling.

Emmett put a hand over his mouth to stifle a curse word I knew was about to erupt from everyone. It certainly was on the forefront of my mind.

But since he was in near proximity to Rosalie, she heard it and set her off again.

She wasn't really shy about it at all. Did not cover herself as she had the involuntary reaction.

The other patient openly watched her with a gaping mouth. Then she couldn't help spotting Jasper and she started as well.

All other occupants in the room tried to adopt a more professional air, after all we were all in the medical profession.

Jasper made the mistake of speaking, as it seemed to give the petite patient multiples.

Emmett figured out he was Rosalie's main catalyst and removed himself out of her sight, even if it was a bit late to help then.

Bella collapsed on the only chair in the room, while the girls on the floor rose and watched.

It was like a train wreck waiting to happen. We could only wait for the patients to come down from their high, and eventually Jasper realized that he affected Mary and so followed Emmett's lead.

Carlisle cleared his throat as they finally calmed, and relaxed. "Well, ladies and gents, please take a look at the charts."

I realized I was gripping Rosalie's quite protectively. Rosalie Hale was admitted at eleven-oh-seven without any visible injuries or temperature. She is twenty years old, and was measured 130 lbs at six feet even. Blood type was AB negative. She is self-employed who moved to Seattle last month after having enough of being on house arrest. She was exhibiting signs of involuntary orgasms, spontaneously occurring after a motorcycle ride accident when she was eighteen back in Connecticut. Missed her graduation, and prom due to her condition. Parents were William and Georgina Hale, who are both alive, and live in Hartford, Connecticut. According to her medical records, they insisted that their baby was simply having an abnormal case of electrical shock-induced episodes.

Ah, denial. Of course. What a shocker. What parents would want to face reality that their daughter had a disorder or was not perfect?

I read the last bit of information. Listed next of kin was Isabella Swan, adopted sister.

Now their heated exchange earlier was a bit more clear.

"Edward what can you tell about Miss Hale?" Carlisle asked.

"Miss Hale is a healthy, twenty-year-old woman who had a possible spinal injury after falling off a motorcycle when she was eighteen and thus now experiencing spontaneous orgasms."

He nodded in approval. "Very good. Possible sequence of action we could take to treat the patient?"

"First, we should take an x-ray of her cephalic, cervical and spinal skeleton; then once we determine where the injury was inflicted, we could operate on it through surgery, be it chiropractic surgery or neurosurgery."

Carlisle smiled. "Dr. Masen, please proceed with the x-rays; Dr. Black you may assist him."

I gave a nod, and caught Bella's frantic eyes. They were brown, and spoke of many emotions it was slightly staggering. I shook my head a little to focus on a more important subject, and unlocked the wheel stoppers again.

I tried to give her comfort. "Don't worry, she'll be fine." I gave a crooked smile that may or may not make her smile in return.

For some reason I was relieved when it did. Slowly, but surely, it was there.

"We'll be back as soon as possible." I told her. "You can wait here."

"Thanks, Dr. Masen."

I nodded in parting. When Black and I were exiting the room, I heard Carlisle ask Stanley the same question. She quoted the diagnosis sheet in verbatim, much to the patient's indignation.

"It's Alice! Only my parents call me Mary!"

I chuckled. If the next seven years will be like this, I think I might just have fun being a doctor.