A/N: Based off the sneak peek that made us all go crazy last night. (The reason behind the title is simply that State Of Grace, by my beloved Taylor Swift, has never given me more CS feels than now.)

love is a ruthless game, unless you play it good and right

"I don't know what else to say."

"Killian-"

"Emma, just leave it." His voice came out a bit raspier than probably was intended and he raised his hand to scratch that nervous tick behind his ear. She noticed the tips of his ears growing a little red - whether it was with embarrassment or anger, she couldn't tell - and she was about to speak again when he muttered something she didn't quite catch (bloody hell was probably a good guess, though) and started to shuffle on his feet. "Perhaps, I should leave you to check the security footage, then. I've taken enough of your time, love." He turned away and hastily made his way out of the station with the most unnatural nonchalant look she'd ever seen on his face. And she'd seen him feign indifference many times by now.

He couldn't possibly be thinking she wouldn't see through his act. Or worse, maybe he thought she'd obviously notice it and just let it go again. But if there's one thing Emma learned after seeing him almost have his heart crushed because she didn't have the time to look into his strange behaviour, it's that when Killian holds something back from her, it's either something he feels too insecure about to share with her or he's trying to protect her by not telling the truth - or both.

Whatever it was she'd learned her lesson. She hadn't spent the following night after Gold was banished from town tossing and turning in her bed, wondering what could have happened had Belle not been there with the Dark One's dagger, knowing it was pointless to do so but still being unable to stop imagining what her life would be like without Killian in it, only to risk anything bad happening with him because she'd simply let all the signs go again.

(She hadn't left her parents' loft at 3:47am that night, walked the few blocks until Granny's cursing herself all the way to hell and back for being silly and worrying so much now that he was safe, and asked him to just hold her until she fell asleep to risk never feeling the warmth of his arms around her again.)

Emma got up from her chair and ran out of the station, finding nothing but the eerily quiet streets of Storybrooke before her. She imagined being able to make a fast escape when necessary was one of the reasons why he excelled at surviving. But, she was a woman on a mission, and fortunately she knew him well enough to guess exactly where she could find him brooding over his pirating days.

Killian was staring at the sea from the same bench where he'd once sat with the crocodile while he was in control of his heart. He bitterly wondered if the fact that he always seemed to come back to the water after being forced to face the consequences of his past mistakes said something about his true nature. He honestly hoped not, for as much as watching the small waves rolling back and forth didn't fail to bring him some comfort, he knew nothing would soothe the torment raging inside of him like having Emma in his arms, feeling her grip on his jacket when she held him close - those moments when he would let himself believe she might be just as afraid of losing him as he was of losing her.

(Even though a part of him wanted her to never be worried when it comes to him being always by her side, he couldn't help the part of him that hoped she was a little afraid if that would make her understand why he still had such a hard time opening up about his past.)

As if conjured by his thoughts, she appeared at the edge of his peripheral vision, sauntering down the pavement towards him with a slow, careful pace. He unconsciously clenched his jaw as he looked away from her, bracing himself for her anger before she sat down beside him, close enough to him that she was able to playfully bump his knee with hers as she said hey.

"Aren't you going to tell me at least why you don't want to talk about whatever history you have with Ursula?" She asked him in a much softer tone than he'd been expecting. Still, he didn't dare look up and meet her eyes.

"Emma, I- I really don't know what to say."

"Fine. Then you're going to have to hear me out." This was it. The moment he'd been dreading ever since his deal with the Dark One had turned around on him. He knew this was coming, he'd known all along what her reaction would be once she realised who he really was, all the unspeakable things he's done in his past that would surely haunt him even more after she left him now.

"You are an idiot, Killian. Do you really think I've never imagined what things you must have done as pirate? Do you really think I have no idea what you were like in your darkest days?" He immediately lifted his head to look at her, astonished that she didn't seem angry with him at all.

"Killian - I know you better than you think. You've told me very little about Liam and Milah but I can imagine the pain you've been carrying around with you all those hundreds of years, and what sort of things you must have done as a result. I may not know the specifics but I think I have a pretty good overall picture. But, more importantly, I know who you are now, who you've always been beneath the cutthroat pirate façade. I know you're the man who refused using any tricks to get me to give you a chance, the same man who risked his life to save my family so many times. So, can you just believe me when I say I know you, and I'm done running from you - from us?"

He was utterly speechless, except for the breathy way he'd said her name so low that she barely heard it, and for a few moments his lack of reaction made her worry that he would shrink from her again, or push her away for assuming she knew him so well when all this time he'd deliberately avoided telling her too much of his past.

But all these thoughts vanished from her mind when he brought his hand to the back of her and pulled her in for a kiss that completely took her breath away, both because of the way his hooked arm came around her waist bringing her entire upper body flush against his chest and the light dampness she felt on his cheeks.

(She noticed his red-rimmed eyes when he pulled away to look at her with something of awe and adoration in his face, but made no comment on it, just offered him a smile and another soft press of her lips against his.)

"You asked me if I trust you, and now it's my turn. Do you trust me, Killian?"

His heart has been beating a staccato against his ribs from the second he saw her coming his way, but he felt it suddenly slowing down into a calm rhythm with her gentle question, which sounded too much like a plea to not have him questioning if his reluctance in sharing his past for fear of scaring her away hadn't been a factor that made her more scared about their relationship.

"Of course I trust you, Emma."

"Then tell me happened between you and Ursula? Please?" She was smiling at him. Her eyes were so soft locked on his that he could swear it felt like he baring his entire soul for her through his windows and not only did she accept what she saw, but somehow she also seemed to treasure it - even love it.

"Alright." He smiled back at her.

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