Chapter I: The Basement of 667 Dark Avenue and What Happened There

Dark Avenue was indeed dark. It had passed through many phases with the trees and what was "in" that never knew if it would be light or dark when walked down Dark Avenue. This of course, was idiotic. But then again, so were the residents of all the apartments that stood on Dark Avenue. It was misty the day this all occurred. Misty enough that you couldn't see the face of a person until they were a yard away from you. Yeah, that misty. Now this all added to the effect of what was to come.

There was a man walking down Dark Avenue that night. A man whom many thought was dead. The man strolled across the road and walked up to one of the crows sitting on the steps of 667 Dark Avenue. The crow was special. It had a small band around its leg with an eye on it. But this eye was no ordinary eye. It was the mark of a secret organization. The man tied a small piece of parchment around the crow's other leg. It would take off any minute now for the town of V.F.D. The bird flew off. The man walked away to return to his home, which was now being shared with a few orphans.

Now you must understand that the secret organization I spoke of earlier split in two parts. One part had been referred to as The Good Side and the other The Dark Side. And at this point, we are going to explore the Dark Side of V.F.D. And, ironically, we are exploring the Dark Side of V.F.D. right on Dark Avenue. This is merely where the Dark Side chose to meet. That is why I have told of this place. This is how the war begins.

A man walked down Dark Avenue. This man had no hair on his head but did have a beard. He walked into 667 Dark Avenue. The doorman escorted him to the elevator, which worked in proper condition and followed him down to the basement of 667 Dark Avenue. In the elevator, the doorman stripped of his disguise and was recognizable as a woman. This woman had hair, but no beard. The elevator stopped. Its doors opened, revealing an empty, lightless basement. This was where the dark Side of V.F.D. was holding its first meeting since the destruction of Hotel Denouement.

"Two years," said a voice of a man. (His image simply could not be identified because of the darkness of the basement, "that is how long we have waited. That's how long we have sucked up our hunger for fire and destruction, our love of money and power, and our hatred of specific people whose names I will simply not bring up for the reason that we all know who I'm talking about when I say 'Specific people.' Now I will address all these desires one by one before we begin our meeting and, hopefully, update on the progress of our dear organization.

'The first subject I shall discuss will be the hunger for fire and destruction. Really, we don't hunger for fire. We hunger for the destruction of people and places that stand in our way.

'The second subject I shall discuss will be our love of money and power. With money comes power and with power comes money. It's an endless circle. This is why we long for it. For becoming rich and powerful is what all dream to be. We take it to the next extreme. We actually do something about it." This drew some laughs from the crowd of an unknown number of people who were unseen.

"Finally, I'd like to say a few words on the final topic. Snicket. Baudelaire. Denouement. Quagmire. Widdershins. These families have stood in our way quite long enough. The Snicket family is almost extinct, if I am correct. The youngest sibling is still out there somewhere."

"Sir," said the voice of the man with a beard but no hair.

"Yes?"

"I believe you are incorrect about the number of Snickets alive."

"Yes?"

"There is another one."

"That is not possible. Unless, they are not associated with the organization."

"Sir, after our careful observations from maple tree in the Snicket residence, we have concluded that there is, in fact, a new descendant of the Snicket family."

"New? As in, new to V.F.D."

"No, new to the world. Beatrice Snicket, a two-year old female."

"This is not possible. Kit Snicket disappeared and Jacques and Lemony never had any children."

"Apparently, Kit had a baby."

"Obviously. But we all know what the real question here is."

"Actually, I don't sir. I don't know the real question."

"The question is: Who is the father?" This rose some muttering in the unseen crowd.

"Please continue with your observations," said the unknown man.

"Well," said the man with a beard but no hair, "I noticed that the orphans are staying in three houses. Theses houses are large and are supplied with guns, knives, and advanced security systems."

"Oh," chuckled the unseen man, "we should know all about advanced technology after that little incident at Prufrock Preparatory School."

"It will be hard to get in there legally," said the man with a beard but no hair, "But I have noticed that each kid loves another one of themselves."

"Ha!" laughed the woman who was disguised as a doorman earlier, "You actually thought we would be entertained with the love affairs of nerdy teenagers."

"No," said the unseen man, "I think he is giving us this information to use as a plan. A plan with bait."

"Ah," said the man with a beard but no hair, "this was the idea. But we need many people to capture them. We can't all be seen there together."

"We're going to have to send someone else," said the unseen man.

"Excuse me," said the woman.

"Yes?" questioned the unseen man.

"I just thought it might be possible for it to go unnoticed if we sent children," said the woman, "Children often have parties and stuff so it wouldn't look weird if they were together."

"Where do you propose we get these children?" asked the unseen man.

"Am I correct in stating that we still control the Snow Scout organization?" asked the woman.

"We do," said the unseen man. Obviously, no one could see this man. But I would place high bets that he was smiling. He was smiling because the time had come to destroy the last of his enemies. Theses enemies had tried to be stopped many times. But never before with children. And since all the enemies were clumped together it would be so easy to destroy them all. They had come so close so many times. They had almost sacrificed some of their lives. The man looked at the two people who had entered earlier in the basement by the elevator and remembered the incident at Hotel Denouement. It was time. There was no good and bad. There were just two sides. And now one of those sides would be demolished with children. Yes, the Sugar Bowl was just outside their grasps but after this there would be no looking for the Sugar Bowl. It would be right in front of their noses, with no one to stop them. Then the unseen man laughed.

That was the great thing about being a bad guy, thought the unseen man. You get to laugh. And, oh, what a thrill it is.