AN : The part where I vomit an incoherent story into existence.

Yeah, I'm still new to this writing fiction thing, but this wouldn't let me rest, until I wrote it, so here.

From norsekink!

'Sooo...' started Tony as he stared at the squirming, hissing pile of green fabric and furry limbs that was their resident villain until now. The others were still working on processing the fact that Loki was, indeed, a bag of cats.

'Wow, Banner, are some sort of clairvoyant?' asked Clint when he finally stopped gaping at the cats that fought their way out of the bag and were wandering aimlessly in the reinforced cell S.H.I.E.L.D stuffed Loki in as soon as the Avengers brought him in. Thor FINALLY confessed that Odin gave him magic-surpressing restraints. Why he didn't use them when Loki was locked up for the first time was a mystery.

Banner stared at the cats blankly. Cats. In a bag. That was Loki. Who was a bag of cats. Now literally. Cats. Yeeees, cats. Cute, soft, psychopathic, little furballs. Purring furballs. Kitties...

Bruce giggled hysterically. Everyone started to slowly inch away from his general area as he started muttering under his breath: 'soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur...'

Thor(who until now has contributed to this story only by being the carrier of the Plot Device/ Magical MacGuffin) snapped out of his weird day-dream he seemingly slipped into the moment Loki had the cuffs on.*

'Brother!' boomed the Mighty Thunderer 'Stop thine sulking and get yourself back together!' The cats, very predictably, ignored him. One of them took interest in Natasha, who decided that the whole affair wasn't worth the headache she was steadily gaining and settled on the cell floor to clean her weapons. By alphabetic order. Twice.** All the while humming the soft kitty song in harmony with Bruce. The cat sat down next her and they watched the panicking superheroes with the same unimpressed gaze that translated mainly as 'Men...'.

Steve stared at his team, and felt all his ninety-odd years pressing on him. 'Maybe he's trying to get us confused enough to escape...' he trailed off as another cat bounced next him. It was ridiculously fat with short stumpy les that seemed to be on his body merely for esthetic purposes. Though by all means it was horribly misshapen( not to mention grossly anatomically incorrect) the cat was cute. not simply cute, it was moe-levels cute. It's eyes seemed to emit sparks and it still only made it cuter. Steve was uncomfortable. The cat was rolling after him while purring with the noise level of a lawnmower. Steve braved the 200% distilled cuteness for exactly 3 minutes before he fell to the undisputed power of a stylized cutesy drawing given life.***

Tony tried to calm down Banner, who was slowly turning green in way that had nothing to with the Hulk. The scientist was having a staring match with a cat that looked like it had been run over by several cars, shaved in some places and dyed into an unnatural shade of green in others.

'The Hulk keeps calling it "Purtty Pussy" ' whispered the scientist to Tony. The raw terror was unmistakable in his voice.

'Personally, I don't see why you're so horrified, Bruce' said Tony, whose arrogance levels kept him safely out of the reach of the Horde of Lokitties that prowled all over the cell and slowly drew everyone under their influence.****

Thor grew tired of chasing the random cats around and stuffing them into the bag( a meaningless effort only matched by such tasks as trying to lasso water, or maybe teaching a horse to sing). As he stopped to catch his breath, a sleek, black body curled into his side. He looked up in surprise to see a cat that looked perfectly like his brother (sans the cat part). It nuzzled him and looked pleadingly with its large green eyes, which were the exact same shade as his brother's. Thor melted at the look and pulled the softly purring creature into his lap. The cat kneaded at his thigh lazily and Thor slowly slipped back into his lovely daydream, leaving behind his increasingly bewildered teammates, who seemed to come to the decision of temporarily adopting his crazy little brother. Well, in any case Thor was getting back his baby brother. The fact that he was currently a pack of cats and a tattered green bag no longer worried him, as his brother moved on to his shoulders and kneaded at the tense muscles, while purring soothingly. 'I got you, Loki' sighed Thor happily.

'Just as planned' though Loki to himself ' Now, Plan: Infiltrate the Enemy Base Without Grievous Bodily Harm can finally commence'

It was good to be a cat.

*It was a very nice daydream, by the way. It had a gigantic pop tart and a disgustingly happy and well-adjusted, not to mention sane, Loki in it. There might or might not have been hamsters involved. Also, Lady Frigga's famed singing blue carrots.
Alas, this story isn't about either of those things. And who would read a story about conflict-free, normal Loki anyways?

**Yes, so it took the boys some time to get over the fact that Loki more or less fell apart and ceased to exist as a single organism. In their defense, Natasha held the unofficial award for speed-cleaning combat gear, period.

***And what a horrible abomination it was. Later, Steve discovered that it only ate dewy flower petals and shat rainbows that smelled like roses.
It was unbearable.

****Or so he thought. The universal Law of Arrogance has a clause that states: 'In the event of any number of highly arrogant beings sharing space for at least five minutes, if one of them is a cat, then its ego levels shall match the sum of said beings' ego levels...squared. In short: There is no such thing as being more arrogant than a cat.

Was it good? Was it awful? I need to know, if I'm improving or still as shitty as ever!