Authors Notes/Disclaimer: All X-Men characters are copyrighted MARVEL, And Rayne from the PS2 game BLOODRAYNE
is copyright TERMINAL REALITY. The song 'REDEEMER' is copyright MARILYN MANSON and/or QUEEN OF THE DAMNED
soundtrack. ( An awesome movie and extra awesome music too! Check it out! )
I am making NO money whatsoever from any of the copyrighted stuff written, And
this is merely enterainment for myself as well as ( Hopfully) others. Please don't sue. I have a whole $5.65 to my name,
And I was hoping to use it for gas money.
To those of you that have read 'Again', 'Everything Is Made To Be Broken' and 'Love Lies Bleeding In Her Hands', This
is the same author, Different pen name. Surprise! ~.^ As you might have guessed by my disclaimer, This is yet another
of my music fics. I've been gone for a little while ( Okay, A long time!) but I'm back! And to stay! ( I hope. ~.^ )
Please enjoy! Would love some reviews. ^^
Key: ' --- ' denotes a song verse injected into the story. ' * ' means memories
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= REDEEMER=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
2:58 a.m
"Dear Diary,
It has finally happend. My idenity as being a stalker of the night has finally been brought to blinding light.
I have kept my secret guarded for so long now, I supose it's only the laws of nature that I would have to be found out
sooner or later. In my case much later. I rember as if it had only been not an hour ago, The night I was turned.
How I had prayed for death..So ashamed of the creature I now was...I felt an outcast, Until I met him. He was different,
But not like me. Still, I feel he understood our common bond of pain. Except he masked it well. Much better than I.
I know now I was in love with him from the first moment we locked eyes. Oh, His eyes...I will never forget their
never-ending deapths as long as I live...Which will not be much longer. I hear the door of my abode being broken in as I
write to you Diary. And I'll leave behind a daughter, An everlasting gift from him, Of one of our so few passion filled
nights togther. I just had to write you one last time Diary, My silent keeper of secrets, My only true friend. I hear their
heavy footsteps approach my door, But I will not fight. Not anymore. And as I die I shall cling to my lovers face in
my mind's eye, And my sweet and inocent daughter's face. I know I have no right to ask this, But may God watch over
her..
I can almost hear them calling now.......Demon. "
--- demon...demon...demon... demon... demon.....---
Years have passed since I have last seen my mother's face. I was very young at the time, And when she hugged me and
looked deep into my eyes for that final time, I knew as well as she did that she was about to die. I didn't know why.
" My little Rayne...Mommy loves you....Always.."
Her faded words echo in my mind as it has since that night. Somewhere deep insdie me the memory pricks at me
as we land outside my mother's old abandoned apartment in the vampire ghettos of New Orleans.
But I don't allow the scared wound to bleed.
My teacher and mentor, and as my mother had viewed it, My savior stood beside me with her usual air of calm and
control. But as she looked at me her silence spoke volumes.
" I am fine. " I say.
My voice is as dead as I feel inside. And I don't think that feeling will ever go away.
Casting my mentor one more self-assured look, I stalk up the pathway leading to my Mother's old apartment, And finally
inside. Faded memories of a happier early childhood danced through my mind's eye as I gaze at the familar surroundings.
I make my way up the rickity old stairs and into my Mother's bedroom. The body was long gone of course, But the room
itself still bared the scars of the anger taken out upon a lone woman.
My lifeless green eyes scan the room before settling on a desk in the far corner.
I rember her writing...She had loved to write. * Mommy! Write me a story Mommy! Please! * My faded childhood voice speaks to me.
I make my way to the desk, And let my slender pale fingers run over the rotting wood, As my eyes fix upon an open
diary, turned to the last page, Smeared with blood.
Blocking my emotions I pick up the aged book, And read the last page, While blinking back tears.
I refuse to be weak.
I find myself turning back to earlier pages, As if going back in time. I feel I have reached back out to Mother.
I feel tears of blood sting my eyes and drip slowly down my cheeks to stain the wrinkled pages before me.
I know my mentor is at my side.
I feel her reach out to place a comforting hand on my shoulder.
It's all clear now Mommy, I understand now. I know what needs to be done.
--- The hunger inside given to me makes me what I am. Always it is calling me for the blood of man.
They say I cannot be this, I am jaded, Hiding from the day, I can barely tame the hunger in me.
Oh I say I did it, Always searching, You can't fuck with fate. So instead you'll taste my pain! ---
" I know what needs to be done. "
My own words seem to echo endlessly in the quiet darkness of my own mind. I had left the old apartment, Leaving
everything as I had found it, Untouched by time or life since that night. I had however left clutching my Mother's
Diary to my breasts, Head lowered. I knew my mentor was following me, But she did well to keep her distance.
Nothing she could do or say would help me now.
I finally found myself on the roof of some high bulilding somewhere in the heart of New Orleans, I'm not even exactly
sure myself where I was. I rember seeing the cars and all the lighted signs or a fairly busy area of town below me, That's
all. I stood perched on the edge of the building, Gazing down by the sights before me seeming to fade in and out of clarity.
Finally, Her voice pierces the thick silence.
" What are you planing to do, Rayne? "
For a long time I don't answer.
"...You knew who my father was, And what he let happen, Didn't you? " I finally say in way of reply.
I still did not turn to face her. " Didn't you? "
After a hesitant moment she spoke, Her clear voiceand perfectly pronounced words admitting what I already knew.
" Yes Rayne. "
" Didn't you warn my mother? "
" I did. But despite what your mother had become, She was still a child of God, And beileved things happen for a reason. "
I scoffed bitterly. " Heh, Yeah...God...."
" Please don't do what I fear you'll do Rayne. You'll gain nothing by it. "
" I will redeem my Mother and my Father. "
I hear her call after me as I swoop off into the night, Begging me not to do this..But all I can feel is the anger.
It taking over my body, My mind.
---... It's haunting me.....---
A little time passes, and I leave New Orleans, Finding myself tracing his path.
I wind up in New York City, And it doesn't take me long to find where he resides. I follow him.
I watch him. Neaver leaving the shadows, Never uttering a sound, Nothing to have him feel a presence.
I saw his woman. I watch his body movements with her, His face...Always from a distance, But I know from this
he loves her. She brushes him off...Always pushing him away..I never listen to their words, Only to his voice.
I imprint every new thing I learn about him. Pressing it like dried but dead flowers to a scrapbook...I'll always have it.
I stalk him. Even on his jaunts to the city, Where he usually meets a woman of the night.
Like a cobra before it strikes it's victim, I lay quietly in wait..
--- The hunger inside given to me, Makes me feel alive..Always out stalking prey, In the dark I hide.
Feeling, Falling, Hating, Feel like I am fading, Hating life...They say I cannot be this, I am jaded, Hiding from the day,
I can barely tame the hunger in me. Oh I say I did it, Always searching, You can't fuck with me, So instead you'll
taste my pain....---
One of these sleepless nights, He walks outside the large mansion that is now his home. He wanders farther and farther
away from the main house. I follow, Keepig out of sight and dead silent. Tonight is the night. The time has come.
He will now pay for the sins of his past. He lights a cigarette, Keeping back to me. He wears a pair of jeans and a black
tee-shirt, His semi long hair loose, And lifting gently in the breeze. I come up close behind him.
He must have been on his guard, Becasue I see him start to turn to see if and what there might be behind him.
Seeing nothing, He shrugs his shoulders and turns back around, Taking a drag off his cigarette before he starts at the
sudden appearence of a woman clad in a all black body suit with shoulder length straight red hair,
pale skin and dull green eyes. Me. I smile only a half smile at him and his bewilderment, and remain silent.
He blinks his red on black eyes but appears more at ease now. " You nearly gave Gambit a heart attack, Chere. Are ya
new here? Lookin' fer somebody? " I still say nothing. I listen to his voice. The voice that must have crooned words
of love into my Mother's ear...He looks around him and then back at me. " Chere? Hello, Anyone home? "
I can't help but laugh a bit at his stupidity, And And lock eyes with him, Staring into the dark deapths that my Mother
was entranced with. He looked even more confused by my random laughter. Never losing his gaze I spoke. " Hello..Father."
I cooed. He looked even more baffled and stepped back, Shaking his head. " Ah don't have no idea what you be talkin' 'bout
now, Chere. An' Gambit want no part of it. Hear? "
" Still shrugging off your responsiblities to run away Father? " I step a bit closer, I feel my rage building, By senses come
alive, My eyes flash, I can almost taste his bitter blood on my lips...
" Gambit ain't no father! Ah dunno what ya talkin' 'bout! "
" I think you do Gambit. My mother's name was Ruby..She lived in New Orleans..A very capable thief..Sought after
by the best so it seems..."
His red on balck eyes widen, And he stutters. Oh, How I'm loving this! " R-Ruby...?"
I nod. He quickly closes his eyes and looks away. Guilt? Heh. Oh yes. Without a doubt.
" I'm her daughter Gambit..My name is Rayne. She died when I was very young Gambit. Who do you supose is to
blame for that little misfortune? "
He lifts his head and looks at me. With sadness? Remorse? Damn him!
" You're Gambit's baby girl...Ruby tole me 'fore she...died. I.. Ah had thought..."
" What? That I was dead too? Oh no..Very much alive...In a manner of speaking.."
He backs up, Holding his arms out in front of him, As if to ward me off. " Chere! Ah didn't know! "
" Didn't know what ? That I made it out? " I'm getting closer now..
" Please! " I can hear the fear in his voice. " Please...Gambit didn't know..."
In the blink of an eye I'm atop him, He's pinned to the moist ground. I lean down and put my face as close as possible
to his. " She confessed her secret to you, That she was a vampire and she was pregnant. You had you're precious Thieves
Guild minnions attack her the following night of her confession, And she made it out alive. My Mother hid, But you
and your damned guild hunted her down...You were afraid she would kill you, So you wanted to kill her before either
of us had the chance later on. You're men attacked her and brutally murdered her, And you went on with your own
life as if nothing had happened. "
Tears now shone is his dark eyes as he looked up at me. " Rayne...It wasn't that ah didn't want ya.."
I smile at him, My words quick. " Fuck you Father. "
-- You say you're life I'm taking, Always bothering me. I can't take this anymore I'm failing, Always smothering me.
You look down on me, Hate what you see, Take this gift from me. You will soon be me...---
Moments pass, And I leave him laying on the ground. I gaze back at him as he stares upward into the dark night's sky.
I make my retreat, Knowing my mentor followed me here and probably would be waiting in the wings to pick up the
pieces. His pieces. No matter. I have been alone since birth. A sin of a man and a gift of birth that was death.
I will go on, And he will redeem himself living the torture that I have lived for 18 years.
--- Nothing seems exciting, Always the same hiding. Hide, hide....It's haunting me...---
So now I close this chapter of my life Diary. I write this in my Mother's book, It is finished. I have nothing left to give.
May the end of my hell be with the closing of this forsaken book.
2:59 a.m 7/14/'03 Rayne
--- It's haunting me..........Amen. ---
===========================================================================================
E-mail me at XIXBlackTearsXIX@aol.com. Thanks for reading this! ^^
is copyright TERMINAL REALITY. The song 'REDEEMER' is copyright MARILYN MANSON and/or QUEEN OF THE DAMNED
soundtrack. ( An awesome movie and extra awesome music too! Check it out! )
I am making NO money whatsoever from any of the copyrighted stuff written, And
this is merely enterainment for myself as well as ( Hopfully) others. Please don't sue. I have a whole $5.65 to my name,
And I was hoping to use it for gas money.
To those of you that have read 'Again', 'Everything Is Made To Be Broken' and 'Love Lies Bleeding In Her Hands', This
is the same author, Different pen name. Surprise! ~.^ As you might have guessed by my disclaimer, This is yet another
of my music fics. I've been gone for a little while ( Okay, A long time!) but I'm back! And to stay! ( I hope. ~.^ )
Please enjoy! Would love some reviews. ^^
Key: ' --- ' denotes a song verse injected into the story. ' * ' means memories
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= REDEEMER=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
2:58 a.m
"Dear Diary,
It has finally happend. My idenity as being a stalker of the night has finally been brought to blinding light.
I have kept my secret guarded for so long now, I supose it's only the laws of nature that I would have to be found out
sooner or later. In my case much later. I rember as if it had only been not an hour ago, The night I was turned.
How I had prayed for death..So ashamed of the creature I now was...I felt an outcast, Until I met him. He was different,
But not like me. Still, I feel he understood our common bond of pain. Except he masked it well. Much better than I.
I know now I was in love with him from the first moment we locked eyes. Oh, His eyes...I will never forget their
never-ending deapths as long as I live...Which will not be much longer. I hear the door of my abode being broken in as I
write to you Diary. And I'll leave behind a daughter, An everlasting gift from him, Of one of our so few passion filled
nights togther. I just had to write you one last time Diary, My silent keeper of secrets, My only true friend. I hear their
heavy footsteps approach my door, But I will not fight. Not anymore. And as I die I shall cling to my lovers face in
my mind's eye, And my sweet and inocent daughter's face. I know I have no right to ask this, But may God watch over
her..
I can almost hear them calling now.......Demon. "
--- demon...demon...demon... demon... demon.....---
Years have passed since I have last seen my mother's face. I was very young at the time, And when she hugged me and
looked deep into my eyes for that final time, I knew as well as she did that she was about to die. I didn't know why.
" My little Rayne...Mommy loves you....Always.."
Her faded words echo in my mind as it has since that night. Somewhere deep insdie me the memory pricks at me
as we land outside my mother's old abandoned apartment in the vampire ghettos of New Orleans.
But I don't allow the scared wound to bleed.
My teacher and mentor, and as my mother had viewed it, My savior stood beside me with her usual air of calm and
control. But as she looked at me her silence spoke volumes.
" I am fine. " I say.
My voice is as dead as I feel inside. And I don't think that feeling will ever go away.
Casting my mentor one more self-assured look, I stalk up the pathway leading to my Mother's old apartment, And finally
inside. Faded memories of a happier early childhood danced through my mind's eye as I gaze at the familar surroundings.
I make my way up the rickity old stairs and into my Mother's bedroom. The body was long gone of course, But the room
itself still bared the scars of the anger taken out upon a lone woman.
My lifeless green eyes scan the room before settling on a desk in the far corner.
I rember her writing...She had loved to write. * Mommy! Write me a story Mommy! Please! * My faded childhood voice speaks to me.
I make my way to the desk, And let my slender pale fingers run over the rotting wood, As my eyes fix upon an open
diary, turned to the last page, Smeared with blood.
Blocking my emotions I pick up the aged book, And read the last page, While blinking back tears.
I refuse to be weak.
I find myself turning back to earlier pages, As if going back in time. I feel I have reached back out to Mother.
I feel tears of blood sting my eyes and drip slowly down my cheeks to stain the wrinkled pages before me.
I know my mentor is at my side.
I feel her reach out to place a comforting hand on my shoulder.
It's all clear now Mommy, I understand now. I know what needs to be done.
--- The hunger inside given to me makes me what I am. Always it is calling me for the blood of man.
They say I cannot be this, I am jaded, Hiding from the day, I can barely tame the hunger in me.
Oh I say I did it, Always searching, You can't fuck with fate. So instead you'll taste my pain! ---
" I know what needs to be done. "
My own words seem to echo endlessly in the quiet darkness of my own mind. I had left the old apartment, Leaving
everything as I had found it, Untouched by time or life since that night. I had however left clutching my Mother's
Diary to my breasts, Head lowered. I knew my mentor was following me, But she did well to keep her distance.
Nothing she could do or say would help me now.
I finally found myself on the roof of some high bulilding somewhere in the heart of New Orleans, I'm not even exactly
sure myself where I was. I rember seeing the cars and all the lighted signs or a fairly busy area of town below me, That's
all. I stood perched on the edge of the building, Gazing down by the sights before me seeming to fade in and out of clarity.
Finally, Her voice pierces the thick silence.
" What are you planing to do, Rayne? "
For a long time I don't answer.
"...You knew who my father was, And what he let happen, Didn't you? " I finally say in way of reply.
I still did not turn to face her. " Didn't you? "
After a hesitant moment she spoke, Her clear voiceand perfectly pronounced words admitting what I already knew.
" Yes Rayne. "
" Didn't you warn my mother? "
" I did. But despite what your mother had become, She was still a child of God, And beileved things happen for a reason. "
I scoffed bitterly. " Heh, Yeah...God...."
" Please don't do what I fear you'll do Rayne. You'll gain nothing by it. "
" I will redeem my Mother and my Father. "
I hear her call after me as I swoop off into the night, Begging me not to do this..But all I can feel is the anger.
It taking over my body, My mind.
---... It's haunting me.....---
A little time passes, and I leave New Orleans, Finding myself tracing his path.
I wind up in New York City, And it doesn't take me long to find where he resides. I follow him.
I watch him. Neaver leaving the shadows, Never uttering a sound, Nothing to have him feel a presence.
I saw his woman. I watch his body movements with her, His face...Always from a distance, But I know from this
he loves her. She brushes him off...Always pushing him away..I never listen to their words, Only to his voice.
I imprint every new thing I learn about him. Pressing it like dried but dead flowers to a scrapbook...I'll always have it.
I stalk him. Even on his jaunts to the city, Where he usually meets a woman of the night.
Like a cobra before it strikes it's victim, I lay quietly in wait..
--- The hunger inside given to me, Makes me feel alive..Always out stalking prey, In the dark I hide.
Feeling, Falling, Hating, Feel like I am fading, Hating life...They say I cannot be this, I am jaded, Hiding from the day,
I can barely tame the hunger in me. Oh I say I did it, Always searching, You can't fuck with me, So instead you'll
taste my pain....---
One of these sleepless nights, He walks outside the large mansion that is now his home. He wanders farther and farther
away from the main house. I follow, Keepig out of sight and dead silent. Tonight is the night. The time has come.
He will now pay for the sins of his past. He lights a cigarette, Keeping back to me. He wears a pair of jeans and a black
tee-shirt, His semi long hair loose, And lifting gently in the breeze. I come up close behind him.
He must have been on his guard, Becasue I see him start to turn to see if and what there might be behind him.
Seeing nothing, He shrugs his shoulders and turns back around, Taking a drag off his cigarette before he starts at the
sudden appearence of a woman clad in a all black body suit with shoulder length straight red hair,
pale skin and dull green eyes. Me. I smile only a half smile at him and his bewilderment, and remain silent.
He blinks his red on black eyes but appears more at ease now. " You nearly gave Gambit a heart attack, Chere. Are ya
new here? Lookin' fer somebody? " I still say nothing. I listen to his voice. The voice that must have crooned words
of love into my Mother's ear...He looks around him and then back at me. " Chere? Hello, Anyone home? "
I can't help but laugh a bit at his stupidity, And And lock eyes with him, Staring into the dark deapths that my Mother
was entranced with. He looked even more confused by my random laughter. Never losing his gaze I spoke. " Hello..Father."
I cooed. He looked even more baffled and stepped back, Shaking his head. " Ah don't have no idea what you be talkin' 'bout
now, Chere. An' Gambit want no part of it. Hear? "
" Still shrugging off your responsiblities to run away Father? " I step a bit closer, I feel my rage building, By senses come
alive, My eyes flash, I can almost taste his bitter blood on my lips...
" Gambit ain't no father! Ah dunno what ya talkin' 'bout! "
" I think you do Gambit. My mother's name was Ruby..She lived in New Orleans..A very capable thief..Sought after
by the best so it seems..."
His red on balck eyes widen, And he stutters. Oh, How I'm loving this! " R-Ruby...?"
I nod. He quickly closes his eyes and looks away. Guilt? Heh. Oh yes. Without a doubt.
" I'm her daughter Gambit..My name is Rayne. She died when I was very young Gambit. Who do you supose is to
blame for that little misfortune? "
He lifts his head and looks at me. With sadness? Remorse? Damn him!
" You're Gambit's baby girl...Ruby tole me 'fore she...died. I.. Ah had thought..."
" What? That I was dead too? Oh no..Very much alive...In a manner of speaking.."
He backs up, Holding his arms out in front of him, As if to ward me off. " Chere! Ah didn't know! "
" Didn't know what ? That I made it out? " I'm getting closer now..
" Please! " I can hear the fear in his voice. " Please...Gambit didn't know..."
In the blink of an eye I'm atop him, He's pinned to the moist ground. I lean down and put my face as close as possible
to his. " She confessed her secret to you, That she was a vampire and she was pregnant. You had you're precious Thieves
Guild minnions attack her the following night of her confession, And she made it out alive. My Mother hid, But you
and your damned guild hunted her down...You were afraid she would kill you, So you wanted to kill her before either
of us had the chance later on. You're men attacked her and brutally murdered her, And you went on with your own
life as if nothing had happened. "
Tears now shone is his dark eyes as he looked up at me. " Rayne...It wasn't that ah didn't want ya.."
I smile at him, My words quick. " Fuck you Father. "
-- You say you're life I'm taking, Always bothering me. I can't take this anymore I'm failing, Always smothering me.
You look down on me, Hate what you see, Take this gift from me. You will soon be me...---
Moments pass, And I leave him laying on the ground. I gaze back at him as he stares upward into the dark night's sky.
I make my retreat, Knowing my mentor followed me here and probably would be waiting in the wings to pick up the
pieces. His pieces. No matter. I have been alone since birth. A sin of a man and a gift of birth that was death.
I will go on, And he will redeem himself living the torture that I have lived for 18 years.
--- Nothing seems exciting, Always the same hiding. Hide, hide....It's haunting me...---
So now I close this chapter of my life Diary. I write this in my Mother's book, It is finished. I have nothing left to give.
May the end of my hell be with the closing of this forsaken book.
2:59 a.m 7/14/'03 Rayne
--- It's haunting me..........Amen. ---
===========================================================================================
E-mail me at XIXBlackTearsXIX@aol.com. Thanks for reading this! ^^