Emma climbs in bed besides her peaceful wife and rests a hand over Regina's heart, her thumb caressing the skin beneath it in a steady rhythm, back and forth, back and forth, as she snuggles into her side, her head resting on the pillow next to her.
"I love you so much, Sweetheart. I always have and I always will." She whispers against her warm cheek, knowing she won't get a response. "I still often think about how we met..." She can't help but let a small, sad laugh escape her when she thinks back. "You really didn't like me that night, but I knew. I just knew as soon as I set eyes on you that you were meant for me. Do you remember, Sweetheart?" She asked the rhetorical question as she looked over at her wife's closed eyes.
*FLASHBACK*
Emma had not long started her shift when she got a call for a disturbance just after midnight.
"Excuse me Ma'am. Please put down the bottle, you've had enough."
"You put down the bottle." The brunette replies in her inebriated state, mascara smudged down her face.
Emma does her best to subdue her laughter in order to remain professional but she isn't entirely successful. Thankfully the gorgeous woman is too drunk to notice. "Do you want to be arrested? If so, go ahead and take a drink." She dares the brunette, knowing that everyone backs down under the threat of arrest.
She nods her head. "Okay, Officer no fun." She dubbed the blonde.
Emma relaxes, thankful that it was quick and easy to resolve the situation.
"Cheers." Regina adds before downing the rest of the bottle of wine.
"Ma'am, Ma'am." Emma tries again as the stubborn woman gulps down all of the liquid.
Regina pulls the bottle from her lips when she's done and drops it to the ground where it smashes. "I think that was some sort of a record." She mumbles to herself as she sways unsteadily.
Emma watches her for a moment wondering what could have happened to cause the obviously upper class woman to be openly drinking in the street in the middle of the night, who had been crying. Probably guy issues she thinks to herself. "Right, I did warn you." She states as she walks towards the wobbling woman, who is barefoot, as she pulls her handcuffs from her belt. "I'm going to have to take you in."
"He left me." She sobs as tears begin to roll from her eyes. "He's gone and he's never coming back."
Emma feels oddly sad about the broken looking woman, even if it is because of some stupid guy. "You're probably better off without him. Now, come on, you're coming with me to the station."
"I'm better off without him?" The tears have stopped and the sad look in her eyes is replaced by one of anger. "My father is dead but you think I am better off without him?" Her words were slurred but there was a firmness behind them now.
Shit, shit, shit, she mentally scolds herself. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise." She puts her cuffs back on her belt, she wasn't going to restrain a grieving woman.
Regina sits down on the curb, landing with more force than anticipated, but not really feeling the pain she would have felt if she was sober. "He shouldn't have died. He's my dad, I still need him." Her tears come back in full force as she slumps forward, her head resting on her knees. Emma sits down next to her and without a second thought begins rubbing what she hopes are calming circles on her back.
"Where do you live, Ma'am? You're new to town aren't you?" Emma would have definitely remembered if she had seen this striking woman before.
"Regina, not Ma'am." She sobs but still manages to sound authoritative.
"Sorry, Regina." The blonde amends. "Where do you live?"
"In my house." Even when wasted she was being purposely obstinate. "Shouldn't you be eating donuts somewhere, Officer?" She adds with annoyance at being interrogated. She just wants to be left along to wallow in the darkness of her thoughts.
"Hey," Emma tries to gently get her attention. "I know you're hurting but you can't stay out here all night and I don't want to put you in a cell, so if you tell me where you live I can take you home and you can sleep it off there."
"I want my dad." She sobs so hard she can barely breath, let alone get the words out.
Emma's heart hurts for the small woman next to her. She wraps an arm around her and pulls her into her chest for comfort. She knows it's not protocol but something inside her is screaming to protect the fragile woman. They sit like that, the brunette crying into her chest as she holds her and whispers small reassurances into her ear, until the crying subsides. She waits for Regina to show a sign of wanting to move. The first sign she gets is when she feels the brunette shiver. She pulls back a little, causing to the brunette to pull further away from her and look at her curiously.
"Here." She offers when she's pulled her sheriff's bomber jacket off her shoulders. "You're shivering."
"No, I'm not." The brunette argues as she takes the jacket and tries to put it on but it proves difficult in her drunken state.
Emma smiles at the purposely argumentative woman. "My mistake." She bemusedly replies before helping her get her arms into the holes and then zips it up for her. She stands up and offers her hand to the still sitting woman. When their hands clasp together, Emma is the one to shiver, but it has nothing to do with the cold.
"I've ruined your shirt." Regina points out.
The blonde looks down to see a mix of smudged makeup and tears covering the spot where the brunettes face had been resting.
"That's okay." She reassures Regina, even though the brunette doesn't seem that concerned. She leads her to the police cruiser, an arm gently holding around her waist to help steady her. "Where are your shoes, by the way?" She queries.
Regina shrugs before answering. "I threw them at some nosey old bastard who wouldn't leave me alone."
With a sigh Emma asks, "which direction?"
Regina vaguely points somewhere behind her. Emma gets her into the passenger seat of the cruiser, she wasn't arresting her so she didn't see the need in putting her in the backseat. Once she was buckled in the blonde closed the door and quickly joggs down the street to look for her shoes. She prayed the brunette didn't throw up in the car whilst she was gone. She quickly located the very tall heels that luckily weren't too far apart, she also noticed a black purse and assumed it also belong Regina. On opening it up she found the woman's drivers licence to confirm it was indeed hers, it also gave her the address she needed to take the brunette to.
She jogs back to the police cruiser and puts the purse and shoes on the backseat before getting into her own seat and driving away. The drive in silence, leaving Regina to her thoughts.
When they pull up to the brunettes home, she grabs the shoes and purse then goes to open Regina's door for her, helping her out before they make their way to the house.
Regina slowly digs around in her purse for her key. When she finds it she then slowly and uncoordinatedly tries to put the key in the lock. Emma doesn't interfere she just patiently waits for the brunette to complete the task. When she does finally manage to get it open she places her purse and keys on a side table and the sheriff follows her into the lobby.
"Is there anyone here to take care of you?" The blonde wants to know.
"I can look after myself. But no, there's no one." She sombrely finishes.
"Okay, I guess that's my job for now then."
Regina wants to argue but she's too tired. Too tired from lack of sleep since her father passed and too tired from the whirlwind of emotions she has to battle each day just to be able to function in her everyday life. She gives a little nod of permission and it's all Emma needs to be spurred into action.
After being given directions, the blonde goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water and some pain killers, which she has to search a little for as Regina's directions weren't very accurate, before she makes her way upstairs towards the door that had light shining underneath it. She gives it a light tap, not wanting to catch the brunette in a state of undress.
"Come in." Regina replies to the tap at the door.
Emma finds her curled up on the bed, still in her dress, with her smudged makeup unwashed. She doesn't say anything, instead she puts the water and tablets on the bedside table and grabs the throw blanket from the bottom of the bed, rather than disturb the brunette by dragging the duvet from underneath her. She spies a waste paper basket in the corner of the room and places it on the floor on the side of the bed Regina is laying on.
"There's a bin next to you if you feel like you're going to be sick in the night." She gets a grunt in reply. "I'm going to go now. I'll lock up and post your key through the letterbox. Do you need anything else before I go?"
"Nuh-uh." Come the sleepy reply.
"Okay. Well, get some rest." The blonde awkwardly stands at the side of the bed, just staring at the hurting woman. When a light snore reverberates form her throat Emma finally moves her feet and sees herself out, posting the keys through the letterbox as promised when she has locked up. She doesn't want to leave, she would like to stay and watch over the brunette as she sleeps, just to make sure she is okay, and to soothe her if she wakes up and is upset, but she has a shift to get on with, a long shift at that.
She finishes her shift just after midday and would love nothing more than to go home and get in bed but she can't get the drunken brunette out of her mind. She has no idea if the brunette would be awake or if she would even be at home but she decided to take a chance. She stops at a diner on her way to the house from the night before and grabs a couple of black coffees and a box of pastries. They were her go to hangover cure and she hoped they would help the brunette with the hangover she would definitely have.
On the drive over she does everything she can to convince herself that she is just partaking in a bit of aftercare, she is the sheriff so it really is her duty to check up on any distraught citizens, she rationalises to herself.
When she arrives at the mansion she gives the door a confident knock which is completely at odds with how she is feeling on the inside. She waits patiently but there's no answer, she gives it another knock, even less confident this time. When the door does finally open she is met by a demure looking Regina, her hair is wet and her face is free of any makeup and her eyes are red and puffy, obviously she has been crying again.
"Hello." Regina answers, no recognition for the blonde evident on her face.
Emma feels a bit disappointed that the brunette doesn't remember her but she isn't really surprised considering how drunk Regina was last night.
"Hey, I'm the sheriff, Emma. I brought you home last night."
"Oh, yes. Of course. Hello. You'll have to forgive me, I'm not feeling my usual self this morning."
"Don't worry about it. I just wanted to stop by and make sure you are okay. I've brought breakfast, well, lunch I suppose." She smiles at the brunette as she offers the coffee and pastries.
"Thank you. Please come in." She says as she takes the proffered coffee and box of sugary treats.
Emma steps inside and follows the brunette to the kitchen. Emma doesn't mention anything about the night before, not wanting to upset Regina or make her feel uncomfortable.
Regina moans at the first sip of coffee she takes as it runs down her throat, stopping the blonde in her tracks, croissant halfway to her mouth, suspended in mid-air by the sinfully delightful moan.
"That was just what I needed." The brunette states.
Emma clears her throat before taking a bit of her pastry as she pretends not to be effected in any way.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
"I didn't leave you alone after that. I knew I would never be apart from you. I made every and any excuse I could find to come around to your house and spend time with you. I wanted to ask you out on a date but I knew the timing wasn't right because of your dad. I was fine being your friend, I would have waited forever for you. Luckily you took the bull by the horns like you always do. I'll never forget out first date and our first kiss. It was like I had never experienced a real kiss before that."
*FLASHBACK*
"So that was fun." The blonde taunts her green looking friend.
"I can't believe that is your idea of fun." Regina snaps at Emma as she grips onto a wooden fence to help steady the spinning in her head after they come off the waltzers.
Emma laughs at the grumpy woman. After six months of being friends Emma knew when to take Regina's moods seriously but this wasn't one of those times. They were having a great day and Regina was simply being Regina.
"Come on, how about we go on the rowing boats? They might be more your pace, Grandma." She teases the vain woman.
"How dare you. I'm only two years older than you. Just for that, you can do all the rowing."
"Of course, your Majesty." Emma states with an overdramatic bow. She had given Regina the nickname when she figured out that things always had to go Regina's way. It didn't really bother her, she knew it was just her friends way of maintaining control, which was just a coping mechanism for her insecurities.
When they made their way to the lake Emma helped Regina onto one of the small rowing boats at the end of the jetty.
After reaching the middle of the lake, Emma decided to give her arms a rest and let the gentle swaying of the water direct the boat. They both relaxed as the sun beat down on them, making the most of the slowly turning summer weather. It had taken Emma over a week to convince the brunette to come with her to the town carnival. Regina wouldn't admit it but she was glad that she came. She was having a great time, like she always did when she was with the blonde.
They sit opposite each other, both of them seated on their own small wooden bench, facing each other as they wiled away their time chatting about whatever came to mind. Regina was never one for beating around the bush when she wanted something, so before long the small talk started grating on her and she blurted out, "when are you going to ask me on a date, Emma?"
The blondes face turned the deepest shade of pink to ever grace her cheeks. "Urm... w...w...what?" She stuttered.
Regina looked at her with amusement painted on her face, it was obvious that the blonde was into her, she didn't have to have a big ego to know that. "I said, when are you going to ask me out on a date?" She doesn't elaborate any further, enjoying the blondes awkwardness as she shifts on the opposite bench. Regina raises an eyebrow in challenging anticipation, a smirk firmly planted on her face.
"Urm," she can't hide from it now, "I was waiting until a more appropriate time." She looks down at her hands, unable to keep eye contact with her crush who is absolutely stunning in her white sundress.
"You know what they say, Emma, time and tide wait for no one."
Emma nods her head, still not looking at the brunette. "You're right." She raises her head and locks eyes with the woman that makes her yearn like a lovesick teenager. "If you have recovered enough from the waltzers, how about I row us back to the shore and we go find somewhere to eat...as a date?"
Regina is a little taken aback by the suddenness of Emma's proposal. "What? Now?"
"Time and tide." She throws back the brunettes earlier words with a cheeky smile.
"Fair point." The brunette smiles in agreement. "And if we are going by that premise, then I think I've waited long enough for this."
"For wha..." Regina's soft, plump lips are pressed against her own, stopping her mid-sentence. It takes a few seconds for the shock to wear off and for her brain to kick into gear, but when it does she cups the brunettes face gently and kisses her back like she had imagined doing a million times in the last six months.
Emma tries not to smile as they kiss, she wants full control of her lips so she can kiss the brunette with everything that she has, but it's too difficult, she's just so happy. Six months is a long time to sit and wait when you love someone, but that was exactly what Emma had done, waited for Regina as she came through the worst time of her life.
As the kiss came to a slow, natural end, Emma couldn't open her eyes, her mind wasn't willing to accept it was over.
Regina couldn't stop herself from giggling at the look of bliss plastered on the blondes face.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
"After I walked you home that night I practically danced all the way to my apartment. I didn't manage to get any sleep, I was far too excited. I knew that was the first step towards our lives together and I was so ready. I was ready to have it all with you. And that's what you gave, you gave me everything."
Her thumb still above her wife's heart momentarily. "Our first night together… I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest." She smiles at the thought and begins her ministrations again as she relives the awkward but incredible night."
*FLASHBACK*
"Mmmm…. I wish we never had to stop kissing." The blonde murmurs through her kiss induced daze.
"As much as I agree, that would not be conducive to a functional life." Regina giggles at her silly girlfriend.
"Shush with your big words and kiss me again." Emma pleads as she presses herself more firmly against her girlfriend as they stand on the stoop of the brunettes home.
"Why don't you come inside with me tonight?" The brunette offers as she bites her lip. Emma spent at least a small part each day in Regina's home but she made it a rule not to go inside after each date. She thought it kept things more official between them in her own silly way. But now that she was being offered for a reason that would make it even more official, her eyes widened and she was momentarily speechless. "I could get out the dictionary, and maybe then you wouldn't have to refer to words you don't know as 'big words'." She teases the blonde.
Emma pouts, somewhat at the teasing but mainly because she thought they were going to spend the night together. "I know big words… how about 'blue-baller,' that's big word." She smirks.
Regina heartily laughs at her girlfriends reference. "That's hyphenated, so it doesn't count. But how about we go inside and you can put those lips to better use," her eyes flick down to the blondes lips, "because English is not your strong suit and I don't really want to be responsible for your blue-balls."
"Open that door now before I break it down." Emma demands without actually managing to sound authoritative, not sure she can wait a moment longer to have the brunette in the way she has wanted since day one.
"Patience." Regina reprimands before hurriedly opening the door, she was just as desperate as Emma was. There was an excited tremble in her hands that made it difficult to get the key in the hole, much like the first night they met.
Emma presses herself up against the brunettes back, eliciting a shiver from her as she whispers in her ear, "I want to make love to you, Regina."
The key slips in and she pushes the door open, dragging Emma inside with her. "Take me upstairs and keep your promise, Miss Swan." She commands with a lascivious wink.
Emma needs no further encouragement to take the woman of her dreams upstairs to bed for the night, where she did indeed keep her promise.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
"I was so nervous but so eager. I kept fumbling and after about the hundredth attempt at trying to unbutton your shirt and failing miserably, I got so frustrated I wanted to cry. You took my hands in your own to steady them. With just one look from you all my nerves seemed to vanish. Do you remember what you did the next day? You bought me one of those raggedy dolls that has buttons on it, the one that you get for children for them to practice on." Emma genuinely smiles at the memory. "You are never more happy than when you are teasing me. That was the best night of my life up until that point."
She looks down at her wedding ring that graces her hand.
"After we had made love and you were holding me, you thought I was joking when I asked you, but I meant it, I was prepared."
*FLASHBACK*
"Regina," kiss, "I need to ask you something," kiss.
"No, we can't order take out and eat it in bed."
"That's not what I was going to say. Pizza would be good though." The blonde muses.
"Do you ever think about anything about anything but your stomach?"
"Well, from now on I think my every waking moment will be occupied by other thoughts." She cheekily states as she stares at the chest she had just been kissing. She moves up the bed so she's face to face with the contented brunette.
"That's going to get in the way of you job." The brunette smirks.
"I'm willing to take that chance. Now, if you would please stop interrupting me." Regina mimes zipping her lips and gestures for the blonde to continue. "What are you doing on Saturday, July twenty fifth next year?"
Regina looks at her strangely. "That's over a year away, I have absolutely no idea. Why?"
"Because I thought it would be a good day for us to get married. It's the perfect time to honeymoon in Europe as well." She knows it was a gamble but Regina had often told her how she was jealous her laid back way in life, so she hoped it worked to her benefit.
"You're asking me to marry you? Really badly by the way. It's the orgasms talking isn't it?"
Emma rolls her eyes. "If you would prefer that I get down on my knees and ask you officially, that's exactly what I will do."
"Emma, have you actually thought about this?" Regina was never one to rush into anything, she needed to know Emma was sure.
"I have done nothing but think about it since we met." She gets out of the bed, as naked as the day she was born, and looks for her jacket that had been dropped somewhere on the bedroom floor in their hurry to strip each other earlier. "Ah!" she exclaims as she finds her jacket and digs into a pocket, pulling out a small box.
Regina sits up, immediately recognising the small box for what it is, surprise evident on her face.
Emma kneels down on bended knee at Regina's side of the bed and opens the cox. "Will you please do me the honour of not letting me die alone and please, pretty please, marry me, your Majesty?" Emma sarcastically requests.
"Emma! Emma, that's the ring." Regina was shocked to the core. It was the same ring she had pointed out to Emma in the small jewellery they had passed when Emma had accompanied her back to her hometown to finalise her fathers will. "When did you go back to my hometown?"
"I didn't. The next day when you went to the lawyers office and I was in the waiting room, I snuck out to go and get it."
Regina was struggling to comprehend what she was hearing. "That was only two weeks after we first met."
"Yep. I told you I have thought about it since we first met. If you could give me an answer whilst I still have some feeling in my lower extremities, that would be great."
"Well, I suppose it wouldn't do to have you die alone."
"Is that a yes?" Emma happily squeals.
"It's not a no." Regina replies with a wink.
Emma jumps on the bed and jovially tackles Regina onto her back as she kisses every inch of tanned skin she can reach. "Let's see what it looks like on your finger."
Regina chuckles like a teenager as she offers up her left hand. Emma looks her in the eyes before slipping the white gold band onto her wedding finger, a large diamond surrounded by smaller ones decorates the precious metal. "It's perfect" She whispers.
"It is." Regina breathlessly replies.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
"I know people are meant to be nervous and have doubts on their Wedding day but I wasn't nervous and I didn't have a single doubt, not for a second. I was just absolutely ecstatic that it was happening. You got so pissed that I sought you out before the ceremony, you said it was bad luck to see each other before the we got married. Since I met you I have been the luckiest person alive, but I did as you said, I stayed outside the room you were in, talking to you through the door. You wouldn't let me see you but you opened the door just a little so I could hold your hand for just a few seconds, that was your version of compromising. You are such a stubborn woman." She laughs again.
"Our honeymoon was incredible, even if you did complain that we were missing the sights as I tried to keep you in bed, all day, every day. But for me, there was never any better sight than you. I have never laid eyes on such a beautiful woman, not even close." Her hand moves from its spot on her wife's chest to cup her jaw, her thumb starting up the same rhythm of stroking the skin beneath it. "I had never even left the country before then. You had travelled but you had never been to Europe and had always wanted to and I was so happy to be the one that made that happen for you. On the flight home you did nothing but complain about going back to work and how the honeymoon was over. For me the honeymoon has never been over. I haven't just loved you every single day since we met but I have been IN LOVE with you every single day." She emphasises the words to highlight the difference.
"That's why I was so sure of my answer when you asked me if I wanted to start a family with you. I had never thought about having kids until that point but the smile on your face and the glint in your eyes when you brought up the subject was enough for me. If it would make you happy then it would make me happy. I am so thankful we did it, adopting Henry was the best thing that ever happened to us, our little baby boy.
*FLASHBACK*
"Will you please stop fidgeting, Emma?" She chides her wife as they sit in the waiting room of the adoption agency.
"Sorry. I'm just nervous. We are going to be taking home our son tonight."
"I know, sweetheart. I'm nervous too but so very excited."
"You are going to be an amazing mom but I hope you don't teach him your sass. Living with one sass-ass (as she had dubbed her wife on more than one occasion), is more than enough. I don't think I could handle living with two."
Regina laughs, drawing the attention of the other expectant parents sitting in the small room. "I am going to pass down all my sassiness and we are going to gang up on you." The brunette playfully teases her wife.
"Mrs Regina and Emma Swan-Mills, please?" A small middle-aged woman calls from the door of her office. With a quick glance at each other they make their way to her office, hand in hand.
"So, we just have a few more pieces of paper for you to sign and you can be on your way with your son." She officially states from her desk chair. They both sit down and sign where needed, not interested in reading any of what they are signing, not caring about anything but getting their son home. When all the paperwork had been completed the woman went to fetch their son for them as they waited patiently. "Ladies, I would like you to meet your son, Henry."
"He's so beautiful." Regina gushes as she takes the baby carried containing their son from the social workers hand.
"He's so…" Emma breaks down in happy tears before she can finish her sentence.
"It looks like I have two babies to take care of now." Regina whispers to the happily gurgling bundle of joy in the baby carrier, making the social worker laugh. Emma ignores the gentle ribbing from her wife and pulls her into a hug, the baby in his carrier included.
They had planned on taking turns each night for feeding and diaper changes but that first night neither of them could sleep, the joy at having a child outweighing their fatigue as the night wore on. He was a fussy baby for the first few weeks but he soon settled down as time wore on and they established a routine. He flourished into a happy toddler, to a moody teen, and then a smart young man that they were both incredibly proud of.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
"Our little baby boy that led to our two amazing grandchildren. You have given me a lifetime of happiness and now I don't know what I will do without you." Her thumb stills strokes the now cooling skin beneath it as the tears pour from her eyes, the depth of her loss still inconceivable to her.
"Mom." Henry rushes into the hospital room that had been his brunette mother's home for almost two weeks, tears gushing down his face. "Mom," he whimpers again as his eyes fall to his unstirring mother who is being cradled by his blonde mother. "No, mom. Please." He begs as he takes one of her cold hands in his.
"I'm sorry Henry, she's gone." Emma weakly informs her son of what he already knows.
"I should have been here." He chastises himself.
"Your mom would have been disappointed in you if you missed your daughters play."
Henry nods his head in agreement. There was nothing more important to Regina than family. There was a point in her life where she believed she would never have any family
after her father died, that was until a blonde beauty carrying coffee and pastries knocked on her door.
Henry wiped at his tears and spoke directly to his mother, who would never be able to speak to him again. "Lena and Lexa were wonderful in their play, mom. They said they wanted to make their Grandma Gina proud. And you would have been so proud of them, mom."
Emma doesn't want to leave her wife's side but she has to comfort her son, it was what Regina would have expected of her. She pulls her baby boy, who was taller than her, into a loving hug, both of them drowning in the sadness of not having the beating heart of their family with them any longer.
"I don't want her to go. I still need her." Henry is gulping for air as despair takes over him.
"She fought so hard Henry. She gave it everything she had but this was one fight she couldn't win."
They stay with her, each holding one of her hands until Emma decides it's time to leave. She doesn't want to but she knows she has to at some point. She wants her son to get home to his family, to his wife and daughters, knowing that it is what her wife would insist on if she caught them crying over her.
Henry kisses his mother's forehead, his tears coming back full force as he says goodbye to her for the last time. He tells his blonde mom he will wait outside for her when she's finished saying her goodbyes.
"My beautiful girl, you have given me the best days of my life and now you have given me my worst. It was worth it though, a moment with you is worth a lifetime of pain. I would do it all again in a heartbeat. It feels like only yesterday we were beginning out lives together, it has gone by in the blink of an eye but you have left me with more than I could have dreamed of. I'll see you again on day my Queen." With a final press of her lips to her wife's, she walks away from the love of her life.
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I hope you can all understand why I didn't label this as a major character death. I'm not sure if anyone would have caught on that Regina had just died, I tried to keep that hidden. I know a lot more depth could have been added for a harder hitting effect but I made it purposely short. It was cathartic for me to write but too painful to add any more depth to it. Anyway, if you are so kind as to leave a review, please be gentle, it wasn't an easy thing for me to write.