Welcome, old friends, and hello, new ones! For those of you just joining, please note that this is part four of the Like You Need it to Survive series and will not make sense as a standalone. Thank you all so much for reading, I hope that you enjoy! Reviews keep me going. I'm thirsty for praise.
"Ten years," I kissed his naked chest, "how the fuck have I conned you into staying married to me for ten fucking years?"
"The sex. Definitely the sex." He grinned.
"That's probably true." I nipped at his abs.
"I mean, I could ask the same question."
"Oh, your money for sure. I was born to be a trophy wife."
"You work too hard to be a trophy wife."
"Yeah, maybe."
"Can you just get on with it?" He gripped my sides.
"You're already ready again?" I lapped at his chest with my tongue and he panted, arching his back.
He made sounds of agreement.
I moved lower, tongue swirling his navel, he pushed me down lower, I giggled and nibbled at the base of his erection, nosing the patch of hair there, he keened, legs spreading wider. I licked the shaft, salty and sweet and still warm from our shower. I sucked at the veiny underside, his knees shot up and clamped my sides and he gripped the sheets. I looked up at his as I swallowed him whole.
He licked his lips, beautiful plane of his chest heaving, his abs tightening. I watched the show of his body and sucked his member, moaning around it as its length reached my throat.
"Christ, 'Lex." He dropped his hands to my shoulders and kneaded the flesh there, I could tell he wanted to bury his hands in my hair but was stopped by it being tied up in its bun. No wet hair, no wet anything.
His hips rose to meet my mouth and I grinned a response as well I could.
"I want more. I want to feel you." He was whining.
That fucking whine got me every time, that blind, obvious need in his voice. I popped off his cock, leaving it wet and swollen. He looked at me with big, needy eyes.
"You want it so bad, huh?" I quirked an eyebrow at him.
He nodded, "so much, so much."
"What do you want, amante?" I growled into his neck.
"Oh, God, wanna be inside you."
"Beg,"
"Please, 'Lex, wanna bury myself inside you. Please, please. I need to feel you, tight and ready for me. Wanna screw you, hard, fast. Make you come, make you cry for it."
He didn't notice me opening myself as he spoke, his words were an aphrodisiac to me, they always had been. Words in general, even as a teenager I'd preferred erotic stories to porn, but fuck, listening to John's words, directed at me, about me, listening to him talk was practically enough to make me come untouched.
"Alex," he whimpered, dragging out each syllable.
"Wanna fuck me?" I quirked an eyebrow.
"Oh yeah, oh yeah."
I straddled him and he sat up against the pillows, I gripped his shoulders and lowered myself onto him, my head tilting back at the burn, at the stretch.
"God, you're so fucking big, Jack." I hooked my ankles behind his back and he fucked up into me.
"Alex, oh God, so tight, you're so tight, feels so good." he pressed his forehead against my chest and ran his teeth over my nipple hard enough for me to know he was up to something.
I made a less-than-adult-man squeal and pressed against him, needing more. I sat harder on him and leaned against his chest, aiming so that each of his strokes hit my prostate. He was still working my nipple, sucking it, tongue flicking out against it.
"Fucking hell." I clenched his hair by the root and pulled on it, guiding his mouth, he yelped at the sensation and moaned, I loved it when he let a little bit of pain be a turn on, his hair being pulled almost always was.
I liked pain, I always wanted more of it, some self-deprecating part of me felt that it was justified, deserved and I longed for it. I loved it when John was in the mood to be rough and just take me, it was something we'd been honing over the last decade, and we'd finally found it, an effort to keep things exciting.
"You like that?" he moved his lips to my ear.
"Yeah," I breathed.
He kept thrusting up into me as he spoke.
"You like being screwed like this?"
"Yeah, yeah, like to be your toy, be your slut." I rested against his shoulder, pleasure blinding me.
"And you're so good at it. So good for me. You like being good for me?"
"I like to be bad for you." I picked my head up and stared him down.
"Is that so?"
I nodded, "slap me?"
"No." He shook his head and kissed my shoulder.
"Please," I begged, knowing the answer.
"No." He sank his teeth into my shoulder, and I moaned from low in my throat, the pain offered release and I came hard on him.
He held my hips down and rocked back and forth, getting his friction, he came, using me. I stayed there for a few minutes, both of us panting, sweating. Finally, I trusted my legs and got up, cleaning myself.
"I need another goddamn shower." I was sweaty and grimy.
"I'll join you." He smirked.
I followed him to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror while he warmed the shower. My shoulders and chest were dotted with purpling bruises in little crescents from John's teeth, the delicate skin around my nipple was raspberried. I looked at my face, worry lines on my forehead, my goatee, the corner by my chin graying just a touch, it matched my temples.
"You ready?" John pulled me into the shower.
He looked just like he had the day I met him, the creases in the corners of his eyes only a little deeper, they told the story of our lives together, lots of smiling, lots of laughing.
"What?" He asked, running his soapy hands over himself, "you're staring."
"How are you so beautiful?"
He blushed and looked away, "stop," he was giggling nervously.
"No, you are, I mean it. You're the most beautiful man I've ever known. Everything about you."
He looked at me and stared at my chest, he chewed at his lip, "was I too rough tonight?" He touched one of the purple marks under my collarbone.
"Fuck no, I'ma wear these like a badge of honour. You were sexy as fuck tonight."
He ran his tongue over his teeth, "yeah?"
"Oh, yeah." I helped him wash his back and kissed the tender spot under his ear.
We dried off and curled up in bed, putting on Jurassic Park to fall asleep to, mostly since John thought the raptors were cute. I rubbed his thigh lazily and he played with my fingers, my hand reaching up for his, his arm under my head.
"What do you think Philip is doing right now?" John asked.
I looked at the time, it was after one in the morning, "knowing what I know he's either been asleep for five hours or he and Lafayette are up baking cookies."
"That's… shoot, those are both good guesses. It could really go either way with Laf."
We watched people on Isla Nubar get attacked by dinosaurs and cuddled, still finding new ways to tangle closer to each other.
"Good anniversary, querido?" I curled closer to him.
"Definitely in the top ten." He winked at me.
"You're such a punk." I rolled into his chest, draping an arm over him, fitting my head into the swell of his chest. I closed my eyes, tracing over his abs.
"Alex!" He squealed, I startled and stared at him, not realizing I'd fallen asleep.
"What's the matter?"
"Look at the babies!" He pointed to the television, baby velociraptors were hatching from their eggs.
"You really fuck me like you did earlier and then squeal at baby dinosaurs like that?" I rolled my eyes.
"They're really cute." He argued.
"You've seen this a million times." I yawned.
He shrugged and I let my hair down, finally dry enough to tolerate it on my skin. John twisted it around his fingers, a comforting sensation. I fell back asleep.
John slipped away from me in the morning, I woke up and stretched, finding sweatpants to put on, he slung his gym bag over his shoulder and kissed me goodbye.
"Want to get a swim in before work. Love you!" I kissed him again.
I worked in my office, draining a pot of coffee, it was time to get Philip from school. I couldn't wait until next year when he would start middle school, his new school just down the street. He came out of the school and just handed me his backpack. He sat on the bench while we waited for the bus, digging the toe of his converse into the ground.
"Rough day, Pip?" I asked him.
He nodded.
"What happened, hijo?"
He sighed heavily, "Thea's mom is really sick. She's so sad. I can't make it better." He sounded so grown up, worry creasing his brow.
"Sick with what?" I asked, tucking hair that had come loose from his ponytail.
"She said it was like some cancer, but I think lots of people have cancer and they're fine, right?"
"Lots of people are just fine." I wondered if John knew about Theodosia's illness.
The bus arrived and drowned out our conversation with the sound of hydraulics, we got on the bus and found our seats.
"Papi, can I use your phone?" He patted my knee, pulling me out of the case that I was running through in my mind.
"Oh, sure, everything okay?" I handed him my phone from the pocket of my messenger bag.
"Yeah, I just have some research to do." He leaned back against the window of the bus, swinging his feet into my lap.
I shook my head, how did I have such a bright kid? John. John was the answer, he always was.
Philip kept his nose in my phone for the duration of the ride. I took my phone back when we got to our stop.
"Learn anything good?" I asked him.
He slipped his hand in mine as we walked, that was happening less and less, I savoured it.
"I guess some cancer is when your body doesn't do a good job of making cells, that's the stuff people are made out of, like our ingredients, and it makes the wrong kind and your body hurts itself instead of making it better. Is that right?"
I thought it over, "pretty much, yeah."
"And they sometimes put some medicine in your body and it helps it remember how to only make good cells. Is that right?"
I nodded and he kept prattling on, having processed a ridiculous amount of information on our short ride home. John was sitting on the oversized chair in the living room, legs tucked up in front of him, sketchbook in hand, his tongue flicked out in concentration.
"Go make yourself a snack, hijo." I squeezed his shoulder and went to sit on the ottoman in front of John.
He set his sketchbook down, pencils clattering on the table, "everything okay?"
"You talked to Theodosia recently?" I asked him, settling my hands on his thighs.
"Shit, she had that appointment yesterday. Why?"
"Pip told me it's bad."
John looked at the floor. Theodosia hadn't been feeling well for a while, it was bad enough that even Burr and I put aside our differences at work. He was struggling. I thought back to after John hurt his knee a few years ago, not even Burr should feel that way.
"I'll call her." He went upstair and Philip came into the living room with a peanut butter and banana sandwich, he had peanut butter in his hair.
"How do you manage to do this every time?" I got a paper towel from the kitchen and wiped his hair.
He giggled at me, "sorry."
"Hey, so tell me about Thea, did she say anything else?"
"Mostly she was just crying. I'm really worried about her, pop." He took a bite of his sandwich and chewed it thoughtfully.
I tried to reassure him, this was John's territory, so we discussed how cancer worked and what could be done to treat it. John appeared on the staircase and shot me a grimace over Philip's shoulder. It was bad.
"Hey, Pip?" John crouched beside Philip and I, looking up at him.
"What's up, daddy?"
"Hey, I think Thea's gonna come stay with us for a day or two, how does that sound?"
Philip's eyes lit up, "yeah, yeah, yeah, then I can make her happy."
"Aaron's going to bring her over in a little bit." John told me.
"We should give him dinosaur chicken nuggets!" Philip decided.
"What? Why?" John stared at Philip.
"Because when you were hurt real bad papi got us dinosaur chicken nuggets and we were happy, now Miss Theodosia is in the hospital and so Mister Burr is probably real sad, but we can help him be more happy!"
"Dinosaur chicken nuggets?" John side-eyed me and I shrugged.
"You're the one that got hospitalized, not my fault we were left to forage the wilds."
"Pip, please go straighten up the playroom, okay?" John encouraged Philip.
He dropped his plate off in the sink and went to clean up his room. John chewed at his cheek and stared at me.
"It's not good, is it?"
"It's everywhere, Alex, in her bones, in her lungs, in her ovaries, it's travelling her spinal cord."
"Shit." I sighed.