Prologue
She first met him in first year when they were waiting to be sorted, when they were both young and dangerously innocent. She remembered the way he'd sent her a ridiculous grin, flashing his teeth at her, and she'd smiled back unable to resist, simply flattered that a boy other than Sev had actually noticed her. He'd introduced himself as James and presented her his hand in return for her name. "Lily." She'd replied shaking his hand timidly.
They crossed each other's paths on various occasions after that, on no account developing into anything more than mere acquaintances. It wasn't until fourth year when Lily returned to school suddenly curvy in all the right places, with long red hair tumbling in thick, wavy, locks down her back and freckles dotted across her nose like constellations that James suddenly began to take an interest. James began to see her green eyes everywhere, outside the window from the three broomsticks, huddled in the Gryffindor common room or glued to a book that looked older than him. Once James had noticed her he seemed unable to ever get any aspect of her out of his mind.
Lily on the other hand had always been aware of James. Always aware of the way his hair never lay flat on his head, how he always seemed to have a guilty looking grin plastered across his face, how his brown eyes always skimmed over her as if she were non-existent and how one day they stopped. She'd been extremely aware of the way they had been absent-mindedly glancing about the great hall and then just stopped, locking into place with her own eyes before skimming her up and down and returning to her eyes once more. She noticed how they were more of a golden copper sort of colour rather than brown and she'd noticed how James had quickly looked away as if merely looking at someone so far below his status was humiliating.
After this Lily had began to notice his eyes meeting hers quite often. Of course most girls would be completely flattered if James ever spared them a sideways glance, but Lily was not most girls. Lily was not tall with big breasts and curves nor did she have flawless skin and blonde hair. Or even just brown hair at that. No, Lily was short and thin, all knees and elbows with a practically flat chest. Lily had freckles and red hair and Lily was most definitely not confident and outgoing nor cute and small. She was just Lily and whatever fascination James appeared to have found in her she knew would be for all the wrong reasons. But Lily did not know these reasons, neither did she know anything about boys and these unreadable, lingering, stares made her self-conscious and uneasy. Because after all, she was Lily Evans and he was James Potter.
James on the other hand could not hide his growing curiosity with the girl whose name he'd found out to be Lily Evans and he hated it. He hated that he'd ever noticed her, hated that he couldn't forget her and hated this strange attraction he had with her. She wasn't exactly what you'd call pretty, not ugly but just sort of... exceptionally ordinary... maybe a little too small and bony. She wasn't admired like James was; in fact she was unknown and for what she was known for was nothing to be proud of and that was her bizarre friendship with the Slytherin boy, Snape. James hated him too. Hated him for being so close to this girl, hated him for his friendship with Evans - making her that much more of a loser - causing it to be that much more terrible that he was so bloody captivated with her. Because after all he was James Potter and she was Lily Evans and the two simply did not fit together.
James was a part of a whole different world to Lily, a world where popularity, looks and status where all that mattered. Where the only thing you needed was strength, and emotions were laughed at and unnecessary. Where you needed people to believe you were so much more than them that you simply didn't need to bother caring or trying anymore. James was proudly, emotionally unavailable because he didn't know how to be anything else, didn't want to be anyone else. He was so accustomed to his peer's admiration that the thought of going without scared him. Anyone who could possibly break his exterior or cause him to want to be something different, something more James shattered before they got the opportunity. So when Lily came along with her intriguing ways and laughed at status amongst classmates James knew there was no way she would fit into the equation that made up his godlike status at Hogwarts. James knew he had to shatter Lily.
It started off as the occasional random insult as they passed in the corridors. Then it started to become something more, with a whole set of masked meanings behind it, each of them gripping on to this sick game of theirs. James would start off by making some cruel remark as they passed in the corridor, angered purely by the strong attraction he felt to her as she walked past him absent-mindedly, her thick, long red hair trailing behind her. Then Lily would turn red and mutter something back at him, telling herself she was annoyed that he was being a jerk again and not at the fact he didn't like her.
"What was that Evans?" He'd tease loudly, catching the eyes of passersby, daring her to say it in front of a crowd.
She'd turn even redder, nearly matching her hair and stare at her shoes, never one for attention. He'd just smirk knowing he'd won and she'd narrow her eyes but never have the guts to say something back. That was until the day by the lake in fifth year. When She'd snapped, all of this built up hatred she'd felt towards erupting out of her in harsh words and cruel accusations. Lily may of looked innocent but she had a tongue like a knife.
They'd barely spoken since then and the incident by the lake was never mentioned, each them acting as though it was forgotten, never bringing it up, unwilling to break this unwritten rule between them. But now it was seventh year and they were each assigned as heads together. James had gotten somewhat excited by this, hoping they could leave the past behind them and maybe... just maybe get along?
Lily however was terrified at the thought of having to be with James in a composed manner. In all honesty she had no idea how to even talk to him civilly. She was scared to be nice to him, scared that he'd laugh in her face at her attempt to be friends, or at least get along. She was scared of rejection.
She was however surprised when that first day on the train in the heads compartment James had actually been nice to her. No laughing or teasing or insults he was just nice. Nothing spectacular or chivalrous, she hadn't expected that but she appreciated his kindness none the less.