Hi Everyone. It's VAfan1 aka Julie. Sorry for not updating at all for a while. Had to deal with some personal stuff again.
Disclaimer: I do not own Broken Arrow or VA.
What do you do when you're stuck
Because the one that you love has pushed you away,
Has pushed you away and you can't deal with the pain?
I felt my heart swell more as held me tighter. I couldn't tell if it was in a good way or not. I could feel Mason's warm breath on my neck as he nuzzled his face into his neck. He smiled, I could feel, into my neck and felt his breathing tickle my skin as he breathed in my scent.
"I love you so much, Rose." He said. I just smiled.
I wanted to say it back; so badly. But, this stupid fear has its hold on me. You don't know if he's lying, my heart said, remember, Dimitri had said the exact same thing to you not too long ago.
I felt my eyes water at that thought. Dimitri… Dimitri Belikov, the first man I have ever fully given my heart and soul to, the one person who knew me better than myself, the person I tried so hard to be perfect for, was the person who lied to me the most.
He said, that he loved me and that he always will. No matter what and forever. I believed those words so much. Some days, I keep thinking about him still saying them, as if he really did feel them. True, he did love me for a long time, until he met someone else and decided he never loved me, and that really his true love was her all along.
I dumped him the moment he said that. Even though I was the dumper; I was the one who held all the pain up until this point.
Why would he lie to me? Why couldn't love me?
You're not her… You're not good enough. My heart said again.
"Rose?"
Now you're trying to fix me; Mend what he did,
I'll find the piece that I'm missing,
But I still miss him, I miss him,
Oh I miss him, I miss him I'm missing him.
"Yes?" I answered.
He furrowed his eyebrows. "Did you hear me?"
I nodded.
We stayed silent for a moment that is until he spoke.
"Do you feel the same?" He asked.
"I…," I stammered, "don't know."
There was no talking after that.
And you're sitting in the front row,
Wanna be first in line,
Sitting by my window,
Giving me all your time,
You could be my hero,
If only I could let go,
But his love has still hit me,
Like a broken arrow. Like a broken arrow.
He released me from his embrace and turned to walk away.
"Mase!" I said and followed after him. "Please, try to understand."
He turned around and shook his head. "No, I don't think I can try to understand, Rose. He left you for someone else. He lied to you, yet, I'm not lying to you and all you do is still love him when he's done nothing but lie and hurt you."
"Mason," I said softly, "I know I can love you, please just try to understand why I'm having a hard time saying it."
He glared softly. "I understand why, Rose," he began, "You're still in love with him."
He's the thorn in my flesh; That I can't take out,
He's stealing my breath,
When you're around,
And now you're trying to convince me,
He wasn't worthy.
I stood there completely stunned. Yes, I am still in love with Dimitri. But, it's only because of the person he was: My first true love.
Mason's glare hardened at my reaction to his words. He scoffed and shook his head.
I sent a glare back at him. "Well, Mase, what do you expect from me?" I nearly shouted, "He was the first person I loved, and the first who hurt me like this. How can you just expect me to get over him easily, and just move on like he did? I'm not like him. I know how to really love someone, and I'm not lying to you about how I feel-"
"What about what I feel?" He said on the verge of tears.
But you can't complete me,
It's the thought that he's missing,
I miss him, I'm missing him,
Oh I miss him I miss him,
I'm missing him.
"I've always loved you, Rose" He said softly, the tears already pooling in his eyes, "You are and will be the only person I'll ever love. I promise, I'm not like him. I won't hurt you like he did."
He has no idea how much I want to believe him. How much I already did. Mason has always had these feelings for me, but, can I return these feelings the right way?
And you're sitting in the front row,
Wanna be first in line,
Sitting by my window,
Giving me all your time,
You could be my hero,
If only I could let go,
But his love has still hit me,
Like a broken arrow. Like a broken arrow.
He stepped closer to me slowly, and cupped my face gently. "You hear me? I love you, Rosemarie Hathaway. I've always had." With that, he gently kissed my lips. A gentle kiss; that I returned happily.
What do you do when your hearts in two places?
You feel great but you're torn inside,
You feel love but you just can't embrace it,
When you found the right one at the wrong time.
He deepened the kiss and lifted me up gently in his arms, before pulling away slowly.
My heart was swelling even more than before. It was pounding right out of my chest. I know now, what I feel for him. The boy I've grown up with, the boy who has always been here through thick and thin, is the boy, who has always loved me for me, and the one who grew up to be the man that I love today.
The strong, caring, loving, man who right now, is making me have a mental fight in my head.
Dimitri Belikov will always be my first love; But Mason, will be my only love from now on. I hope that one day, I can love him as much as he loves me. I know I can, because in this moment, it feels like anything is possible, that anything we do will be possible.
"Mason?" I whispered.
"Hmm?"
And you're sitting in the front row,
Wanna be first in line,
Sitting by my window,
Giving me all your time,
You could be my hero,
If only I could let go,
But his love has still hit me,
Like a broken arrow. Like a broken arrow…
I smiled and said happily, "I think I'm falling in love with you."
His smiled went from shock, to stunned, then to joyful. He hugged me tightly and started kissing me all over my face and I couldn't help but giggle.
"You have no idea how much that meant to me." He smiled.
I nuzzled my face into his shoulder, nodded, and sighed happily. "I love you, Mason Ashford."
"As I love you, Rosemarie Hathaway."
I tilted my head up to him and tapped his nose. "Just remember, go slowly, and please don't try anything."
He nodded. "Of course."
I know, I know. Lovesick smut :P. This is how I felt for a very long time, and, I just hope you all don't think Rose fell for Mason to easily. It's one of those, "I never knew what was in front of me…" stories.
Love,
Julie