I would do anything to help my precious person achieve his dreams.
That was what I had told the boy, Naruto. That I was willing to kill, be killed, anything. All to help Zabuza. But here and now, watching the knife in his hand come closer and closer…I'm not so sure I want to die. What if Zabuza has further use for me? Will my death be meaningless? Maybe I'm wrong…I know that I am his tool, but would it be more befitting me to die in protection of him?
When we first came to meet, I thought he was my savior, my reason for life. I hung on to his every word, and did whatever he said without question. In those shaky, in between years, I loved him deeply, but still could not stand the sight of him. I wanted nothing else than to settle down, and live quietly. I didn't want bloodstains on my hands. Not anymore than I already had, I mean.
Then we fought Kakashi and his subordinates. To see children almost my age, working together, sharing a bond…they were friends, I could tell. How could I rip apart friendship? How could I live with myself after such meaningless killing? No matter how much I loved him, I wanted not to become like my master.
When I met Naruto in the forest, he was so kind. Kind, and oblivious. But his pure hospitality to strangers struck me as interesting, and when I first looked into his eyes, I saw he knew the same pain I had felt. Perhaps even worse. We talked, and in another life, we would have been friends. I giggled at his shock when I told him I was a boy, perhaps the first giggle between friends I had experienced!
The mist is clearing. Is Zabuza still alive? Is Kakashi? Yes, both of them. I can see them, see the drama unfolding. And still that kunai comes closer. Zabuza will die. I can see it. Kakashi can kill him. We underestimated our foes. I am tempted to leave him to die, to run, and make something of myself. He beat me, and rejected me, and somehow loved me at the same time. I love him, but hate him.
"I'm sorry, Naruto…" I begin…suddenly, I remember.
"Z-Zabuza-san!" I yelled. Sweat and tears were pouring down my face. "ZABUZA!" I called again.
"I'm here, Haku." He looked at me. Something strange was in his eyes. Compassion, maybe? I thought it impossible. "The dream again"
"Y-yes." I stammered. I had not had the dream for a while, but once in a while, my parent's final moments will come back to me in my sleep.
"Come here, boy." Zabuza gave me a quick hug, and a kiss on the forehead. "Go to sleep, Haku. I'm here to protect you."
And I was calmed, just like that. Just the knowledge of what he had done for me, and knowing he was here to scare away my monsters was enough.
"…I can't die yet!" I said, zipping off, praying to be able to make it in time. In that one instant, that one instant before death, I made it. I gave Zabuza a second chance.
You'd better come after me soon, Zabuza-san, I whisper in my mind I need you to fight my monsters. Don't leave me all alone.