Unbeta. Middle of night so sorry for horrible grammar and spellings and every other things.
Disclaimer: Obviously, do i really need to say it?
She made it. Everyone knows who DJ Beca is. She's on worldwide tours, features in way too many albums, play at way too many clubs across the globe. This is her dream and she's living it. You'd think she's happy.
But she's not.
Music use to be a way for her to let go of everything and just be happy. Now, music just serves a numbing effect. It numbs out everything so she doesn't feel. If she does it long enough, she'll eventually forget what sadness or happiness or anger or joy or whatever is.
Pain, not so much. She's so use to pain ever since her childhood that it's a part of her. It's always there and she gotten so use to that it doesn't faze her anymore. At least, she thought it didn't.
She opened up her self and let others – other – in and what happen? They – she – took the one thing that makes her happy away. So when she's not playing in front of herds of people, when she's at home, the drug doesn't work anymore.
The silence screams at her, haunting her every moment. She, who used to love being alone, can't stand that anymore. Being alone means she's left to her own thoughts, it mean there's nothing to distract her from remembering. The numbness starts to evaporate as the pain settles in once more.
It wasn't supposed to be this way. She was suppose to be with Chloe, living in a nice decent house in LA with a kid or two for Chloe; happy, she was suppose to be happy. That didn't happen. Tabloids don't know but she live in a crappy studio on the low side of LA because it hurts to much to live in a nice place, a nice neighborhood where she has to see perfect families everyday. No, she rather live in a back, the place where everyone dismiss, the place of broken hopes and broken dreams because that's how she feel…broken.
She was the one that walks out on their relationship, but Chloe, dear sweet Chloe was the one that push her there.
"Does she know you're back?"
"No, I'm going to surprise her. Do you'll think she like it?" Beca nervously asks her fellow bellas.
Amy laugh at Beca's innocent, especially when it comes to relationship, "Girl, you're getting some tonight."
"Thanks Amy."
"Yeah yeah, now go surprise her and have some fun. Use protection ok?"
Beca looks down, trying to hide the blush that's creeping up her face.
"Bye." With that, she left the meeting place and head towards Chloe's and Aubrey's place.
Once she got there, Aubrey opens the door with a surprise look.
"Uh, is Chloe here?"
"Bree! Who is that?" Chloe call from the kitchen. Aubree looks back so fast Beca swears she's going to get a whip lash.
Hearing Chloe's voice brought a huge smile to the normally otherwise girl. What she saw though took that smile, along with her heart, and destroy it.
There she was, in all her beauty, wearing lacy black undergarment holding hand with a guy, a man, a male, looking exactly like a couple should look, happy.
She ran. She didn't give them a chance to explain. She didn't stop, not even after hearing Chloe call her and chase after her. She just ran. Perhaps she should have let them explain. Perhaps she should have let them talk. But she's Beca. She doesn't do talking, she only knows running.
And so she ran. And along that path, her heart began to dissolve and the darkness and silence starts to enclose her once more.
Perhaps is she had stay, she would have been happy now. But that's fine. It has been way to long, way to many lies for her to know what happiness is like anyway. Her world revolves around numbness when the music is on and pain when the silence takes over again.
It doesn't matter.
What does she know about love anyway?