(It started only as an experiment, will it grow into something more? Something just purely random from Vexen's point of view, with random Marluxia just thrown in-he likes to take things from the Scientist. This is just random, and maybe I will update/add more if I get the passion, for now just enjoy this random start.)
An Experiment
I usually only write journals about my experiments, and the flower in one of his fits of 'desperation' had told me to view our 'relationship' as an experiment. It may be best to start at the beginning, but for now I will say this: It is nice to wake up to a warm embrace.
The flower insists on sleeping in the nude, if it because he likes the feeling, showing his body, or just so he can easier attack me in the morning still eludes me at times. He is not as demanding as I thought he would be also, he is surprisingly soft usually, near caring, of course it is all an illusion just as is the 'love' he insists on having for me. That is another thing. It is 'nice' the way he softly whispers 'I love you'. I cannot truly remember a time when I 'felt love', maybe as a very small child, but only maybe, it was most likely from family and a young Even would think nothing of that. Or, I am positive of that, no matter, it is still nice.
I still find it difficult to say those words though, I know it is false, yet somehow when it is Marluxia it 'feels' so /real/. The way his hand softly touches me just to say 'Don't be lonely' or the way he whispers my name when barely awake just to say 'I /am/ awake' or the way his lips gently caress mine, it is all too /real/. I also find myself wanting it all to be real, for his touches to really mean what I /want/ them too, I want this 'love' to really exist. Maybe I am as 'foolish' as the others call me behind my back, I do hear them, I always do, it is best to ignore them though. Those upstairs are barely worth my time, and the flower came to my basement, a place very few others ever came to, sides Zexion to see if I am still /breathing/, or Lexaeus when Zexion does not 'feel' like doing so himself.
A /bond/, Zexion mentioned that there was a bond that tied us together once, and I wonder if such a thing is true. Is that what I have with Marluxia, a bond? No, the word simply seems wrong. –Oh, I think he may be awake; I would get in 'trouble' if he found this, or at least a 'little' /scolding/… … No, he was not awake, he has a habit of trying to become as close as possible to me when he sleeps, I think he would /break my skin/ just to be closer, his gentle façade is only that a /façade/. Thinking the flower is 'innocent' would by far end with my death, ow, nails- … Nobodies do dream, to some level, it is more just memories if anything, and Marluxia's memories always seem to 'scare' him. I think about asking, would he be 'mad' if I did, could I really make myself sound 'concerned' if I asked? These thoughts always stop me. When scared the flower holds onto me even tighter, and his nails can at times dig into my back, and while I can handle the 'feeling' during /sex/, it is much different when the flower is asleep. Usually I only have to set my hands on the flower's and loosen his grasp, he responds to my touch even while asleep, maybe more. He seems to have calmed down slightly, I should sleep also, and I realize that, but, I find myself wanting to watch him sleep. I find myself liking the sight of his chest's gentle rise and fall, the way his expression changes as he dreams, I have grown use to the way his hands clench and unclench.
I am a scientist though, and experimentation is what I do, yet, the flower said dating him was the experiment, but I want to study him also. I want to watch the way he responds when I inject him, I want to see his eyes with that odd look of fear he seems to show while dreaming, I want to study /him/. I want to see just how alike a flower my flower is, he would let me also, I am positive of that. Most likely yell something annoying along the lines of: 'As long as I can be near Vexen, I don't care what I have to do!' and he would even sound like he /means/ it. That was something else, the flower only seemed to show 'emotion' when around me, and really only /after/ sex, for a few minutes his emotions just seemed /out there/. Maybe it had something to do with his memories, and maybe it did not, I should ask. He would not storm away from his own bed, would he? This is the flower, I think he might. The wall-if I were to hit my head on it would Marluxia awaken? I am tempted, I should just sleep. I will write the rest of this report in the morning…