Disclaimer: I don't own any of these Characters, I lack the imagination and motivation to manage that =D
Authors Note: Hey, everyone! This one-shot is all about what Itachi has to deal with in every SasuNaru fangirl's dreams. A little warning, though? Itachi is INCREDIBLY OOC. But that just makes it so much more fun xD
Itachi sat in the living room, his arms folded and pouting with irritation. Above him, the ceiling creaked along with the bedsprings on the mattress in the room above this one. Loud screams and moans of pleasure sounded and echoed around the otherwise empty Uchiha Household.
He tried to focus on the television, but there was nothing of interest on at that moment, he just stared at it, brooding silently.
Sighing, he turned the television off, knowing he'd never be able to concentrate with that fucking racket upstairs. You'd think that they would try and hold back out of consideration for him, right? Wrong. If anything, Itachi was sure that they were even louder when he was in the house.
Assholes.
So there he was, sitting, alone, in his living room and in complete silence as he listened to Naruto get fucked by Sasuke upstairs.
"Nggh! Sasuke! Harder!" Itachi heard the blonde shout. He growled and walked into the kitchen, but the noise just seemed worse in there.
Once! Just once, he'd like to go up there and interrupt them; make them stop. Just once!
And then, Itachi had an idea.
An evil smile spread across his face as he began to pour some juice into some glasses and pulled a small tray out from the cupboard under the sink.
This was going to be priceless.
Itachi approached his little brother's bedroom, ignoring the moans and creaks of springs as he neared. He fixed a small, innocent smile onto his face before reaching forward and opening the door.
"Hey there, little brother." He cooed, making himself known. Naruto jumped and squawked, pulling the bed sheets over his naked body. Sasuke simply turned to face his brother, scowling. "I brought drinks for you and your little friend!" Itachi chirped happily, holding up a small tray with two glasses filled with juice on it.
"Itachi! Fuck off, we're in the middle of something, you asshole!" Sasuke shouted, glaring at his brother.
"Oh...you seem angry. Was it something I did...? Well, I guess I'll just be leaving these by the door then! Please continue!" Itachi put the drinks down and simply stayed in the doorway, smiling happily at the two of them. After a few seconds, Sasuke lost his patience.
"Fuck off, Itachi!" He screamed; throwing his brother the dirtiest look he could muster when completely and utterly naked. Itachi pouted.
"But Sasu-chan! It's so boring downstairs by myself!" Itachi whined, throwing his brother a pleading look.
"Itachi, I swear to God! I don't come in and annoy you when you're having sex!" Sasuke seethed, his eyes flickering red. Sasuke had always had an incredible short temper...
There was a long pause, spent with Itachi and Sasuke in some sort of staring contest while Naruto just lay on his back, covered in a bed sheet and blushing heavily. The air held a thick tension as the Uchiha boys locked eyes and stared each other down. Itachi narrowed his eyes and Sasuke was almost thankful that his regular, broody and unemotional wreck of a brother had resurfaced. Anything was better than chirpy Itachi.
"...Are you two being safe?" Itachi asked, regarding them both with a sceptical look. So, that was why he narrowed his eyes. Not because he was back to normal, but because he was curious.
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Sasuke screamed throwing a pillow at his brother. Itachi dodged the pillow and jumped out of the room, closing the door behind him. As soon as he was out of sight, he let his smirk come back into play. It was always funny to see Sasuke all riled up like that.
He sank to the floor, careful to be quiet so as not to alert the boys of his presence. Just as he had expected, they soon resumed their activities. Itachi sat patiently; waiting until he was just about sure they were near to their orgasm before he rose to his feet and, feigning innocence, spoke.
"...Sasuke...?" He said, trying to fight back his laughter. He heard a few bumps and groans of pain, signalling that Naruto had probably been scared out of his mind and fallen off of the bed. Itachi had to bite his lip hard to stop from laughing at that mental image.
"What the hell do you want now?!" Sasuke bellowed, loud enough for anyone within a 500 yard radius to hear. His voice was thick with anger and murderous intent. Itachi nearly chuckled, but managed to refrain.
"...I left the tray in there..." he said, his voice once again the epitome of innocence.
"Oh...Umm..." Sasuke said, his voice now lacking anger and now sounding more apologetic. Itachi was close to snorting. "Well, I don't want to have to take it downstairs...and you're heading that way anyway...yeah...come on in..." Itachi straightened up, controlling his face to show shyness as he walked in and took the tray.
"S-Sorry." He said, walking out again. Hurrying across the landing and down the stairs, he found himself doubled over laughing in the living room. The look on Sasuke's face!
The little blonde brat thought he was the prank king, huh? Well, Itachi sure proved that he trumped him! Suck on that, fox-boy!
Itachi laughed until he cried, before wiping away those tears and sobering up, ready for when the both of them came back downstairs.
Another evil yet hilarious thought came to mind, his trademark evil smile resurfacing.
"I don't care, Sasuke! That's no reason for you to molest me in the shower!" Naruto was screeching as they walked down the stairs. Sasuke was about to retort, but was at a loss for words to say when he looked around what he could see of the ground floor in the Uchiha Household.
Plastered everywhere, on each wall, were baby pictures. Sasuke's baby pictures. And, in each one, he was butt naked. Literally. It seemed that, as a child, Sasuke had been quite the exhibitionist.
Naruto couldn't hold back and he burst out laughing, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. Sasuke shot him a cold look.
"Did you know about this?" He growled. Naruto tried to stop, but he couldn't. He simply shook his head while he laughed hard. Sasuke turned his glare to the living room where Itachi sat with a smirk on his face.
"ITACHI!" Sasuke screamed, running through and launching himself at his older brother. Itachi quickly dodged, laughing as he did so.
"But Sasu-chan! You look so cute!" He laughed, running away from his irate brother as he chased him around the household.
Itachi looked back to see Sasuke's face.
One word:
Priceless.