It's you

It had hurt more than he had expected. Seeing her kissing this dirtbag from the 54th precinct. Even more hurtful was the fact that she had seemed to enjoy it. After Castle had said goodbye to Beckett, he went home and tried to sort out his feelings for his special detective.

He opened the door to his loft apartment and hung up his coat. Alexis and his mom were on a "grandmother-grandchild-trip" and would not return until the day after tomorrow. So the apartment was all his. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down on the sofa. It had started raining shortly after he had entered his apartment. Castle glanced out the window, listening to the staccato the rain drops made against the glass. Time went by, hour after hour, beer after beer. Although Castle tried to sort out his feelings for hours now, he still had no clue what to do. He was not sure if he could go on like this, was not even sure he could face Beckett tomorrow, knowing that he was in love with her. He was afraid that Beckett would see his emotions shining in his eyes. Also afraid to break the fragile friendship that they had just recently re-bonded. He decided that he had dwelled enough on his feelings and went to bed.

The rain had stopped and the sun was shining through the window when Castle slowly woke up.

"Oh my gosh...", Castle whispered, feeling a terrible pain throbbing behind his forehead.

He slowly massaged his temples and made his way to the shower. The warm water cascading down his neck and shoulders relaxed him, but the headache was still present. Castle decided to call in sick. He blamed it on the headache, but actually he was afraid to see Beckett again. Castle got dressed, popped a pill against the very persistent headache and then called the precinct. Gratefully, Capt. Montgomery answered the phone and acknowledged Castle's absence for the day. Castle hang up and exhaled his breath unbeknownst that he had held it. Staring at the cell phone, Castle did not know what today with his free time. So he made the beds, did the laundry, washed the dishes, tidied up the whole loft apartment and did actually write a new chapter of his next book. However, writing the new book also meant thinking about Nikki Heat which also meant to think about Beckett which led him to think about the kiss with Demming. And Castle didn't want to think about Beckett and Demming. Thinking about it meant that he needed to face his feelings for her and he was not sure if he was yet ready to do that. So he stopped writing on the new book and started listening to the radio. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and collapsed against the cushions of his sofa. After some time of listening to the music and dozing on the sofa, Castle heard a knock on the door. Castle didn't expect Martha and Alexis back until tomorrow and he hadn't ordered food. Puzzled he crossed the living room and opened the door.

"Beckett, what are you doing here?"

"Montgomery told me that you had called in sick and I wanted to check up on you."

Seeing Beckett made Castle happy on one side, on the other side it reminded him on things he did not want to remember. Demming, his lips on Beckett's. Castle knew that she saw his mixed feelings written all over his face. Castle cleared his throat and said:

"Ahm, well, thanks for checking up on me. I just had a terrible headache. So..."

Beckett looked up to Castle and knew that he was not telling the complete truth.

"Are you sure that you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just..."

Castle stopped himself before he would say things he might regret. But Beckett had already sensed that something was up.

"What is it, Castle?"

He let out an exasperated sigh while turning around and walking back into the living room. Beckett followed him, closing the door behind her while watching Castle. She had never seen Castle so torn before. It seemed that Castle was fighting with himself. Beckett walked up to the writer and softly touched his shoulder. Castle flinched under her touch, partly surprised and partly scared.

"Please, Rick, what is it?"

"It's...it's..."

"What, Castle?!"

"I saw you and Demming kiss."

Beckett was caught off guard by this confession. She withdrew her hand from his shoulder and softly touched her lips. She remembered the kiss, well, the kisses Tom and she had shared. They were nice and it felt good to be with him. But deep down in her heart she knew that something was still missing. She bit down on her lip, pondering if she should actually do what had just crossed her mind. She watched Castle who took a step closer to the window, almost like he wanted to put some more space between them.

"Castle, I...", Beckett started but was interrupted by him.

"No, Kate, it's okay. I know it is your decision and I have nothing to say about it and..."

"Rick, STOP!"

Castle starred at her in shock. Beckett rarely raised her voice. This harsh tone was usually reserved for suspects and other badasses.

"Castle, kiss me."

Castle was astonished to say the least. He would have expected many things, but this definitely not.

Beckett saw that Castle was surprised. It had crossed her mind that she just needed to test something. She needed to know if her gut feeling was right.

"Castle, just KISS me."

Who was he to refuse a woman's wish. He closed the gap between them, placed his hands softly on her cheeks and brought her mouth closer to his. Before their lips finally touched, Castle whispered:

"Please don't fool me."

Beckett looked sincerely into his eyes and softly shook her head. That was all it took for Castle to close the last few inches and finally locked their lips in a kiss. It started out slow, both yet unsure how far they could go, but soon it became more passionate. Castle softly pressed his tongue against Beckett's lips asking for entrance. She happily gave in to Castle's probing tongue. While their tongues dueled for dominance, their bodies also drifted together. Chests and hips touching, their hands started to wander and they discovered each and every curve of the opposite's body. Castle thought that this felt so much better than his dreams and fantasies. Beckett, too, thought that this was amazing. It went beyond her wildest imaginations and was far more passionate and exciting than the kisses with Tom. She now knew what had been missing. It was her heart. Although Tom was a good guy, quite passable kisser and partner, her heart was not in it. Because it had always been with Castle.

When air became a serious matter to deal with, Castle and Beckett broke the kiss. They breathed heavily. Before Castle could say anything, Beckett said:

"It's you!"

Castle smiled broadly, now being the man that Beckett finally chose to be at her side and in her heart. But then realization hit Castle and he asked:

"What about Demming?"

"I'll deal with him tomorrow. How about we'll take a seat and talk about this...about us."

"I'll be more than happy to do this."

Kate grabbed Castle's hand and led him to the sofa where they talked for hours about their newly discovered feelings. They shared their hopes and fears while kissing and caressing each other. Long after midnight they went to bed, cuddling and slowly drifting off to sleep. Both carried a smile on their lips, happy to have finally admitted their feelings. Beckett would have a hard day since she needed to break up with Demming, but still needed to work with him. But she would have Castle, would be able to find safety in his arms, but most importantly she would find love.

A love they are both finally ready to pursue each and every second from now on.

- THE END -