Chapter One: Survival of the Fittest

Disclaimer: I do not own Eyeshield 21.

Summery: It was inevitable; every male participated in this conversation at least once in their life.

Characters Involved: Most of the Deimon football team.

Other Comments: This was inspired by my brothers and the Red v. Blue episode Planning To Fail. Also I've decided to make this collection of strange one shots as a fun side project where I can come to work out my occasional writer's black. Enjoy!

-

-

It was a rare moment of tranquility in the devilbat's clubhouse. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. It was truly the perfect day. There was no practice, the girls had gone on an errand run: taking Taki with them because his sister didn't trust him not to make an idiot of himself, and the boys found themselves enjoying some quality male bounding time that didn't involve training, football, and kicks in the rear. Their conversations ranged from their next game to girls to movies. But soon enough they were caught up in the topic that all males find themselves voicing an opinion in at least once in their lives.

"Hey." Yukimitsu looked up from the book he was reading to find that Kuroki had taken a pause in his video game and was staring at him with a serious look on his face. Once he was sure he had the brainy player's attention the dark haired hah brother continued. "What's your zombie plan?"

"What?"

"Your zombie plan." Seeing that his teammate had no idea what he was talking about the fish lipped teen attempted to explain himself further. "You know, when the zombies take over the world. You're a smart guy. So what's your plan?"

The blank look his face indicated that he had no plan.

"You have to have a zombie plan!" Kuroki dropped his controller. "Cause if you don't have one then you're going to be dinner. Take me for example. I'm jumping on my bike and locking myself in the mall. That way they won't be able to get in, I'll have plenty of supplies, and I can escape through the roof when the rescue team comes via helicopter."

The boy who had yet to be given an actual position on the team tried to keep his response as nice as he could. "I don't have one and I don't think any one besides you had one either."

To his shock and confusion the other male didn't take offense. Instead he turned his head to he could face his comic reading friend. "Togano!" When he didn't respond the game playing teen threw a football at his foot. "Hey!"

"What?!" He wasn't too happy about being interrupted before he could see how the fight turned out.

Though his friend completely ignored his irritation and went on talking anyway. "What's your zombie plan?"

"You know mine already!" This time he found the football in his gut instead of his foot. "Ow! All right. I've got this sweet hading place in my house that only I know about and there's only one way in. I've got all my supplies up there and once I'm up, I'm destroying the exit. I should be good for a month or two."

"Until you run out of food." Jumonji spoke up from his corner where he was shuffling a deck of cards. "Then you're screwed."

Togano ignored the comment as he turned the page. "Well what are you going to do when then day comes where we're completely taken over by the army of the undead? Do you even have a plan?"

"A zombie plan? No." Before the sunglass wearing delinquent could retort the leader of the three continued. "I have twenty three different plans."

Kuroki let out a low appreciative whistle. "Impressive. What about you pipsqueaks?" The running back and receiver glanced up from where they were engrossed in an American comic book they had found lying around. "What are you guys going to do when the earth is completely taken over by the zombie invasion?"

The two glanced at each other before answering.

"Alaska."

The three teammates often mistaken for brothers nodded. Jumonji looked over to their line captain and his little buddy. "How about you guys? You going to Alaska too?"

Their small teammate rival made some sort of a grunting noise. In response they looked to Kuirta for a translation. "His family owns plenty of warehouses full of all sorts of supplies and their all connected by hallways. His father's workers and families would find out their and blockade the doors and windows with their trucks." He paused in his explanation when the lineman made another grunt. "We're invited to stay."

The other members gave their thanks.

"How 'bout you, Musashi?" Monta couldn't help but ask. "What are you going to do?"

The older kicker didn't bother looking up from his newspaper. "Nothing."

The monkey like receiver looked shocked. "Nothing?!"

"Nothing." Musashi repeated as he turned the page to continue his article. "I'm going to sit here, sit back, and relax."

"That's it?! You're not even going to fight back?!" Kuroki cursed as his player died on the television screen. Damn that calm gramps with his distracting calmness.

He took a drink from his coffee mug. "That's right."

"Why?!"

He jerked his thumb to his right where Hiruma was busy cleaning out some of his higher caliber firearms. ''Cause this guy will be outside blasting and burning everything that moves." Folding up his paper he picked up his coffee and headed for the door, pausing in the frame. "Besides he has an underground arsenal on campus and he always has at least twenty different solutions rolling around in his head at any given time. Later."

With that the kicker left, an eerie silence falling over the room. During this time all the players looked over at their quarterback, who had a manic grin on his face as he lifted his now sparkling clean weapons up in his hands.

"I'm coming here." Yukimitsu broke the tension as he decided on his zombie plan.

The rest of the team mumbled their agreement.

-

-

-