A/N: Hola Mishamigos….hahaha! So I hope you guys enjoy my story, I was heartbroken after the premier of season 7, I cried for days (I'm still sniffling), and I am unsatisfied with the amount of reaction fanfiction, to this pivotal turning point (I know it hasn't even been a week yet, but when I'm sad I like to read stories regarding the topic lol) so I decided rather than complain about it, I would write one. This might turn into a series, be it of one shots or a full chaptered story, depending on what you guys want, and the reaction I get from you! SO I hope you enjoy.
Note: Title comes from the song entitled "Goodbye to the Girl" by David Cook
Disclaimer: If I owned Supernatural, would I do that to Cas?
Summary: "His mind was focused on the words this creature had just said. "He's dead", the words echoed through his brain, and he was filled with utter and complete desolation, for his brother was gone, and Dean, was alone."
"Bow down and profess your love unto me", the words of the previous week barrage him incessantly. "You were once my favorite pets". The cold mocking tone echoes like a bell in his head. Cas' voice, so unlike Cas. He had never sounded so cold, even when he was head angel dick. His brother was going dark side, well not dark side, ethereal side was more like it; and he couldn't go through it again.
"Kill him" he had said to Death, ordered hysterically, for this visage, couldn't be Cas, he just couldn't. He must be an imposter wearing his face, using his voice, for Cas' eyes could never look that distant, that shrouded, that frothed over with ice. Once Death killed this doppelganger, the real Cas would come in a ostentatious scene of exploding lights, and banging doors. Another reason he figured that this couldn't be Cas; Cas knew how to make an entrance, this thing, this God did not.
Sam had continuously attempted to revive his faith in Cas, but of course he would attempt to do this, for Sam himself had not fully regained his own redemption from him. He had continuously refuted Sam's attempts for this imposter did not deserve redemption, and Cas wherever he was, did not need it.
Another drink, drowning himself in cheap booze, and Japanese cartoon porn, and in popped Cas, looking about ready to implode any second. His call for help, sending alarms throughout his body; was this now Cas? Or was it a horrible trick the soulless imposter was playing, ready to break any last ounce of hope within him? His eyes were bathed in blood, his face molting under the power of the souls. He knows that he shouldn't help, shouldn't gamble away his last shred of sanity, but this was his brother, and if he asked for help, damn it all to hell, he would give it.
So off they went back to the place where this hell began, one aging drunkard of a hunter, one sanity collapsing ex blood junkie, one foundering angel-god, and him, one hopeless, feeble man, who was starting to believe that his ultimate destiny (if he believed in it) was to be alone.
As he waited for Sam to get the blood, Cas had apologized, "does it make you feel better?"
"No" of course it didn't, neither of them could feel better, for if this being, was Cas, and was actually apologizing to him, than that meant that it was true. That would mean that all of the things that had been done, (that had been said) were spoken by his brother. A brother who was apologizing in preempt of his impending death. Cas could barely stand, falling over every few seconds, and Sam did not return. He ran down the corridor "Sam?" But no one answered, the vial sitting primly on the floor.
It seemed like the story of his life, when shit happened, the universe always decided to load more crap on top, seeming to be testing how much he could take before he broken, and god damn he was teetering, on the brink. He looked around the hallway, hoping Sam was somewhere just out of sight, knowing the wall was crumbling down faster and faster, and yet Sam would never tell him. Sam Mr. Share your feelings always preached that he should talk, that he would feel better, but whenever it was about Sam himself, be it drinking demon blood, or having hallucinations (he was still miffed that he had to learn this from Death. Miffed but not surprised.)
He could hear Bobby, and Cas in the other room, and in that moment had to make a choice. Should he look for the brother who had forsaken him time, and time again, or the brother who strayed yet had always been there for him, when the former had not, excluding the time, he got himself brainwashed at bible camp he amended. He picked up the vial, and raced back to the room, and Bobby did the spell. The barrier to purgatory opened, and the worst case of deja-vu assaulted his sense. Cas turned his head, his eyes looking at him, the formerly self-righteous orbs now laced with regret. As Cas turned back towards the portal, and began to release the souls, he thought for a moment, that Cas would jump in, a thought that clenched his heart in a vice, but Cas did not.
When it was over, Cas lie prone on the cold floor, cold, not breathing. "Maybe angels don't need to breathe?" A thought that Bobby was quick to dismiss, so quick to write Cas off as dead. Seeing Cas' lifeless figure made him want to weep, and puke, and scream, and kill something all in unison, but he settled for berating, as though Cas' ears could still hear, "I told you". All at once he saw what had been dead eyes flash open "CAS?" He lifted him up, and helped him to his feet.
"I will redeem myself to you" Cas had insisted. He disregarded it the first time, for, for all of Sam's wrongdoings, he never wished to redeem himself to 'him'. To the world, yes, he achieved it by jumping in the pit, but to him, he never even attempted. It was a foreign concept to him that someone would wish to redeem themselves in his eyes. When Cas said it a second time, he began to believe it, when he was violently pushed away, stumbling, attempting to remain standing, his heart stopped. "They're too strong…..the leviathan!"
Then suddenly, Cas wasn't Cas anymore, this time worse than the first, for it's face held no shred of what had once occupied it. "Too late" the maniacal voice rang out, in a tone of voice, that Cas would never use. "Castiel? He's dead." The grin on his face one that held no happiness, but pure unadultured violence, and insanity. It was a smile that sparked terror in however Dean did not even see it. His mind was focused on the words this creature had just said. "He's dead", the words echoed through his brain, and he was filled with utter and complete desolation, for his brother was gone, and Dean, was alone.
A/N: Soooo what did you think? Please review (give me some happiness in my time of grief for poor Castiel, who hopefully is not actually dead)!