[Cue wolf howl, pan and zoom on full moon with dark clouds beginning to cover it as lightning crackles over the cityscape of Manhattan. Zoom on Avengers Tower.]
It was a dark and stormy night at Avengers Tower on Halloween. And, Tony being Tony, organized is annual horror movie marathon, with mixed reactions from the group:
Steve: "I've never seen one before. Might be interesting!"
Thor: "Whatever a "horror film" is, it sounds delightful!"
Bruce: "Sure, but nothing scares me."
Clint: "No way, man! Those things creep me right out!"
Natasha: "Bring on the blood and guts."
Loki: "Unfortunately, my oaf for a brother will most likely force me to participate in this pathetic human ritual."
*Rewind to Morning*
Pepper was leaving for a conference in Tokyo to represent Stark Industries, as there had been a small scandal. Tony was busy, since he had set an automatic alarm in everyone's room, and when it went off, he ran to each avenger's room.
"RISE AND SHINE, EVERYONE, IT'S HALLOWEEN! And here at Stark- I mean, Avengers Tower, we take Halloween very seriously!"
As everyone filed groggily out of their rooms, Tony handed them each a list. "This is what we're going to do today: Eat candy, decorate, then when it gets dark, start my annual Stark-tastic Horror Movie Marathon on the 200 inch! Muahahaha!"
Bruce laughed. "I haven't seen a good horror movie since the 10th grade!" "Well, tonight's your night, big guy, cause this is the ultimate montage. You won't be able to sleep for weeks!"
"Nothing scares me," Bruce retorted. "Look, if you don't get scared at all tonight, I personally promise I will take you all out for Shwarma tomorrow! My treat," Tony replied. "You're on!" laughed Bruce.
"I actually got a date," said Steve. The room went quiet as they stared in shock at the super soldier. Tony finally shrugged. "That's fine. Invite your date too! The more the scarier." "This ritual sounds most enjoyable," said Thor, "We used to have a holiday similar to this one on Asgard…But it mostly consisted of Loki playing juvenile tricks on all of us." His smile faded.
"Come on!" Tony exclaimed, "Let's get decorating!"
They all brought out the decorations. Steve started putting up bats on the ceiling, Loki was given a box of full length skeletons to hang up, Clint and Natasha were given candy bowl duty, and Thor was unfortunately left to pumpkin carving.
Hmmmm, thought Thor as he narrowed his eyes, Maybe I have been given this knife to slay this evil orange beast they call 'Jack O Lantern!'
Tony and Bruce were going around overseeing things. "So what's your favourite horror?" asked Tony. "Well, I like classics such as the Exorcist and Hellraiser-"
"Ha! No wonder you never get scared! Those are laughable!" "- but while so, I also enjoy moderns such as Saw and Paranormal Activity." Tony shut his mouth, giving a nod of approval.
Clint and Natasha were out in the TV room, organizing the bowls of candy corn, jelly beans, and chocolate and such. Clint quickly grabbed some when Natasha wasn't looking.
"Clint!" cried Natasha. "What?" asked Clint innocently, revealing a mouthful of candy. "Ugh, save some for the movie!" "But they're so good!" he reached for the bowl again, and she punched his arm painfully hard. "NO!"
In the hallway, Loki was attempting to put up the skeletons. Since he was so tall, he didn't need a chair, so he stood, reaching. Just as he was hanging one, it came crashing down on him. "Ah!" he screamed. He heard Thor chuckle from the kitchen.
"Quiet, you infuriating imbecile! You try hanging this ghastly décor!" He picked up the skeleton again, hanging it once more, but it was lopsided. "Nice job, Reindeer Games!" called Tony as he walked by, snickering. Loki growled in frustration.
Over in the kitchen, Thor proudly looked at his masterpiece. Bruce passed by, hesitating slightly as he processed what he thought he saw, and slowly backed up.
"Uh, Thor, what did you do to it?" "I put it in its place! That shall teach it to go up against the mighty god of thunder!" "Thor, it's a pumpkin." He had chopped it to bits, and strewn the innards all over the place. Bruce rubbed his forehead.
As the day went on, the pranks broke out.
Specifically, Tony's pranks.
He put a spider in the candy bowl. Ironically, a Black Widow. Just as what Tony was counting on, when no one was looking, Clint peeked around the corner, and sneaked up to grab some candy. He reached in, but instead of grabbing candy, he grabbed a big, black spider. "GROSS!" he yelled.
"CLINT?!" yelled Natasha from the other room, hearing him near the candy bowl. "Oh no!" the archer winced as he ran off, still grossed out by the spider.
Tony set the toaster to max before Thor put his regular lunch of a box of Pop Tarts in. The god hummed cheerily as he loaded in the gooey snacks, and set the machine. Suddenly, it started to shake, and the Pop Tarts burnt and exploded right in his face. Thor's smile disappeared.
He walked out of the kitchen with pink icing splattered all over his face and hair. "WHERE IS THE METAL MAN?!" he sputtered. Now it was Loki's turn to laugh. "Ehehehehe! You had that coming!" He laughed. But just then, the skeleton he was holding's eyes glowed red.
Loki screamed so loud, the whole tower could hear him- and the echo. He ran and locked himself in the bathroom. "Brother, come out! It's not real. It was only a prank." Loki cautiously opened the door to the bathroom, and realizing Thor was right, kicked the skeleton angrily.
Bruce was coming to see what all the fuss was about, when he slipped on some strategically placed pumpkin innards from Thor's massacred pumpkin, and fell. For a second, he looked really angry, and then calmed himself down. "Tony," he sighed, rubbing his leg.
Tony knew Steve wasn't really that familiar with modern technology, so he rang the home phone from upstairs, knowing that the inexperienced soldier was the only one around there. Steve looked around to see if anyone else could answer it. He sighed, seeing that there wasn't.
"Hello?" he answered, holding it upside down. "Hello…?" Just then, he realized he was holding it wrong. "Oh. Hello?" "Are you in the house… alone?" asked a scratchy voice. "Uh…. Um, no, I am not… sorry, who, may I ask, is this?"
"I can see you. You have nice, shiny blonde hair." "Oh. Agent Coulson, I told you not to-" "This isn't Coulson." Steve suddenly gulped. "Wh-who are you then? And how can you see me?" "I'm in the house! And I'm gonna get you!" Steve started sweating, and looked around nervously. He'd never been prank called before, so he didn't know it wasn't real.
"Look, we have two master assassins, and… and a hulk!" "Ooh, I'm so scared! I'm shakin' in my boots." "Where are you? Show yourself, you un-American coward!" "It's too late. I'm here!" Just as the guy was hanging up, Steve heard ecstatic laughter on the other end. His face turned from utterly terrified to utterly annoyed. "Stark," he mumbled.
As Natasha walked into the kitchen for lunch, she noticed something on the ground. It was a knife. A knife covered in blood! She rounded the corner, confused, to find Tony lying on the ground, covered in blood and guts. Natasha screamed, but the billionaire couldn't keep a straight face. He burst out laughing.
Her face twisted with anger, and she kicked him. "How could you do that, Stark?!" He laughed. "Relax, just a little prank!" "Oh, I'll show you a little prank," she said, pulling out her gun. Tony dropped his smile, and took off down the hall.
By the time darkness fell, everyone was fed up with Tony's pranks. They all met in the living room while Tony washed off all the fake blood in one of the bathrooms upstairs.
"Tony's pranks really grow on ya, huh?" asked Bruce jokingly. "He is so annoying…" Natasha grumbled. "Ooh, what I'd give to get back at him!" said Clint, tightening a fist from his perch on the arm of the sofa.
After a few more minutes of talking, Tony came out. "Hey guys! The tower looks awesome. Ready to start the movies?" They all nodded, pretending they weren't just talking, and got ready to have a good time.
Clint reached for the bowl of candy with a boyish grin on his face. "Finally!"
"Alright, what should we watch first?" Tony asked, sitting down on the couch. Everyone started sitting down around him.
"Well, why don't we start slow, then get into some scarier ones as the night goes on," said Bruce. They settled for The Shining first. "Hey Steve, where's your date?" "She, uh, couldn't come. Stuff at her new job at the war museum." "We have a war museum in New York?" asked Tony. "Yes Tony, we do, not that you would know." Tony shrugged, and ran over to grab the remote.
"JARVIS? Dim the lights."
As the credits rolled, Thor noticed Loki crawling deeper and deeper under his black snuggie that was populated with small white ghosts and orange pumpkins that the other god had bought him a few days before in light of the upcoming holiday. At first, he had refused to accept the 'ridiculously childish garment of sentiment,' but when he discovered it was rather comfortable, he had begun begrudgingly using it often at night.
As the movie went on, everyone was moving to the edge of their seats. Natasha was grinning sadistically, but everyone was getting tired of Steve's frequent commentary.
"WHAT?! NO! Leave him alone! What a moron! There's a hiding place RIGHT THERE!"
"Steve?" "Yeah?" "Shut up."
When they got to the part where he axed through the door and said 'Here's Johnny!' Loki jumped a mile, and huddled closer into Thor. "You know, brother, for the god of mischief, you scare easily!" Thor chuckled. Loki grumbled a slew of swears in Norse back.
After the movie was done, the lights came back on. Thor picked up the disc. "This 'film…' I like it! ANOTHER!" he smashed it against the arm of the couch. "Thor, how many times do I have to say, NO SMASHING! That's Bruce's thing! JARVIS, order a new copy of The Shining." "Right away, sir." "And dummy- clean this mess up, before I make you a new hat."
"So, what should we watch now?" "I vote 'Paranormal Activity.' It sounds spooky!" said Steve. "Spooky? You'll be crying by the end, Capsicle!" laughed Tony. Steve glared back at him.
They put it in, and JARVIS once again dimmed the lights. "Ya know guys, this is fun, watching these with you. I mean, Pepper hates them so I never get to do this." "I am in full agreement, son of Stark, this is most entertaining!" said Thor.
As they got to night number three in the movie, Steve was managing to keep quiet, everyone was in total suspense, and Loki was now fully submerged in his blanket, whimpering. Just as the scene opened, the power fitzed out, plunging them into darkness.
"Wha-" "What just happened?" "Aaahh!" "No way! It's only 1 AM!" Suddenly, they all heard a noise upstairs. Tony checked to see if everyone was there, but he could barely see. He found and lit an old lantern, a gift from some corporation he naturally couldn't remember the name of.
There was Thor… Clint… Steve…Natasha… Bruce, and… where was Loki?
Oh. He was just hiding under the blanket.
So… who was upstairs?
"I certainly don't volunteer to go upstairs and check the strange noise!" said Steve, "Because it seems that everyone who does that in the movies gets killed." "Well, aren't you just the expert now, Cap?" Tony quipped.
"Guys," said Bruce. "Why don't we all just go up and check?" "Um, might I make a small suggestion?" asked Loki, poking his head out from under the blanket. Everyone looked at him. "Why don't we simply, ignore the noise, and not move or go anywhere? Hm?"
"Scaredy-god!" Thor crowed, and Loki snarled at him. "Do not mock me, brother! That taunt plagued me only in our childhood!" "But brother," Thor whined, "It will be fun!" "Yes, your idea of fun is watching a cat fly on a rainbow." "Nonetheless, the man of iron has taught me that on Hallow's Eve, it is a time for scaring people, and scary things, so let us have an enjoyable time! The night is young still!"
Tony started to clap. "Well said, Point Break. Come on, Rock of Ages, follow the leaders!" Loki grumbled as he pulled himself from under the blanket.
Tony held the lantern up in front of them as they walked up the stairs.
*BUMP, BUMP*
The noise sounded again, and Loki swallowed.
"Here, I'll check, for gods' sake!" Natasha said, rolling her eyes as she grabbed the lantern from the billionaire. They all waited for her reaction as she ascended the stairs, and she got to the top.
Silence.
Suddenly, they heard a piercing scream.
"NAT?!" yelled Clint in concern. They all ran up, to find Natasha gone without a trace."What? How is this even possible?! Where did she go?!" They checked everywhere. "We should go back downstairs and look more!" Clint insisted.
"Ugh, just let it go, Barton," Loki said languidly, "Romanoff was violent anyway." "How could you say that?! I'll put an arrow through your-" "Ooh, is this love, Agent Barton?" "Come here, you-" "Okay, okay," Tony said, splitting them up.
Just then, they heard another sound coming from the kitchen downstairs. "What's going on now?" asked Steve, crossing his arms as if he were reprimanding a group of kids. "Maybe it's Natasha!" Bruce said curiously. They all ran downstairs.
As they came to the kitchen, they looked around. "Natasha?" Steve called. No answer.
"Looks like it's our friend from upstairs," Tony huffed. "Tony, I hate to break it to you, but I think your house is haunted," Bruce joked. "Please. There's no such thing as-" He was cut off by the sound of glass breaking.
He looked around, to find a bottle of scotch on the floor, all over the floor. They regarded it uneasily. Tony gulped. Then, the phone rang.
They all jumped.
Steve stepped back, throwing his hands up. "I'm not answering it this time!" Tony rolled his eyes, and cautiously picked up the landline. On the other end, an angry, menacing sounding voice crackled loudly. "I-eed-ooh-in-ish-ow," it spoke, then the phone went dead. Tony got a chill down his spine.
"That's it. I am retiring to bed," Loki said. "But brother!" Thor protested, grabbing his arm. "Let go of me, you fool! This is a madhouse!" "You don't want to be alone, do you?" Clint asked, wiggling his fingers.
Loki frowned. "I'm going to bed, as I seem to be the only sane person in this room, and would rather like to keep it that way. I am going to sleep. Pleasant dreams!" he called as he walked up the stairs.
After a moment of silence, they all heard a thump and a distressed yell from upstairs. They, once again, climbed the staircase to Loki's room in a flurry. He was gone, just like Natasha.
"What…is going on?" Tony asked, starting to seriously worry about what was happening to them.
"Hey… where's Bruce?" Steve asked. Bruce had disappeared as well.
"This is too weird," the soldier commented. "Not as weird as my irregular dinner skipping!" Clint said, "I'm going downstairs to make myself a sandwich!"
"At one in the morning?!" Steve asked. Clint shrugged. "I'm hungry." "You're always hungry!" Tony pointed out. Clint smirked back at him. "What? Can you not afford me, Stark?" Tony frowned, rubbing his head. "You're making a freaking sandwich in the middle of all of this…."
"Eating brightens my mood," the archer retorted. Tony sighed. "Let's just go downstairs and find the others."
When they got back down to the kitchen, Clint opened the fridge. "Geez, Tony, the only scary thing around here is the non-existent food in your fridge!" Tony shrugged. "Pep and I eat out most of the time."
The billionaire thought about where his friends might have gone. Then, he got an idea.
"Of course! JARVIS!" "What?" Steve asked. "JARVIS, that's it! I'll ask JARVIS where everyone is! Why didn't I think of that before?" "That sounds like a commendable idea," Thor boomed, "We must find Loki before the end of this night!"
They heard Clint singing from the kitchen. "We're up all night to get Loki…" They scowled.
Tony and Thor rounded the corner, and Tony asked: "JARVIS? Where are the others?" "The other members of the Avengers in the tower are…." The A.I. suddenly cut out, and Thor frowned. Tony tried again. "JARVIS? Buddy? You with me?"
The A.I. came back on momentarily. "I'm afraid… the power in my system is failing, sir… I think I have to sleep now…" The system went out completely this time.
"Great," Tony sighed.
There was a huge bang in the kitchen, and a loud, surprised, "What the f-" Thor, Steve and Tony went running to the kitchen, where Clint was gone, leaving behind only a half-made sandwich. "No!" Tony said, "Alright, we've really got to stick toge- hey! Thor?"
Steve turned. "I thought he followed us! This is getting out of hand… Tony- do you have an attic?" "An attic? Steve, this isn't Black Christmas! This is a modern, newly-built TOWER. Towers don't have attics! I do have a basement, though."
They descended in the elevator to the first floor. "So, just you and me, Cap." "Yep," Steve said shortly. "How are you not annoyed at me yet?" "I just fake it well." "Aw, come on, you know you love me."
The elevator dinged.
"This way," Tony whispered. "Why are you whispering?" "Cause it's creepy down here! I never come down here unless I have to. Well, when Pepper makes me do the laundry or something." They slowly crept down the stairs to the basement.
*Creak, Creak*
"Shhh!" whispered Tony. "I can't help it!" the soldier insisted, For a 'newly-built tower,' this basement is pretty creaky." "Yeah, well, blame it on Pepper. This was probably, like, 3% of her 12% of construction."
They trekked deeper through the spacious basement.
*drip, drip*
"Uh, Steve… maybe we should go upstairs…" "Come on, Tony, we can be the heroes of the movie!" "A hero? Like you? Look, this ISN'T a movie! This is weird stuff going on in my freaking tower!"
"I'll go check out where the dripping sound is coming from," Steve sighed as he walked over to the dark corner of the room.
"Oh my... TONY!" Steve shouted, then a muffled sound came from the corner. "Steve?" Tony hissed. Suddenly, he tripped on something, and hit his head, blacking out.
The billionaire woke up, sitting on the couch. He looked around, meeting the faces of everyone.
"You're- you're back! Where were you?!" he exclaimed. They gave him funny looks. "Where were we? Sitting here, watching Paranormal Activity!" Steve said, putting air quotes around the title, "And you were right. It was a pretty frightening movie!"
Bruce grinned. "You missed some great stuff- Clint scarfed the whole bowl of candy down and got a stomach ache-" "Serves him right," Natasha cut in. "-And when the chandelier swung in the film, Loki went bananas and hid under the table!" he finished. Loki glared at him. "It was only for a moment. I thought we agreed not to discuss that!" he snarled.
"But…" Tony mumbled, "But I couldn't have fallen asleep during my own marathon! Y-you all disappeared! And Steve, we were investigating the basement… and Clint, you were making a sandwich-" "Sounds like me." "-And then Loki went to bed because he didn't want to admit he was scared, and, and…"
Thor chuckled. "Sounds like a marvelous dream." "But I swear it wasn't a dream… my head still hurts from the fall!" "Probably all the spiked Orange Crush you had earlier," Steve offered.
"Besides," added Bruce, "If some dreams feel vivid enough to be real, the body remembers sensations or illusions of injuries even after you wake up."
Tony sat forward, closed his eyes, and rubbed his temples.
Behind his back, they all quietly high-fived. The whole thing had actually happened- they had all played a prank on him to get back for all the stupid ones he had tortured them with.
Pepper didn't actually have to go to a conference, she just used that as a cover to make Tony think she was gone. She wouldn't miss out on a chance to have a little fun with him, and she knew how annoying his pranks were, so she had planned in advance to stay and help the group in case they needed it.
Also, Steve's date had come, and was let in on their plan as well via text from Steve. The two women had made the noises and such. Bruce had deprogrammed JARVIS for the night when he disappeared, and Loki had cut the power with his magic after that.
And the phone call? Well, that wasn't exactly planned. It was just Nick, calling in at just the coincidentally right moment to recruit them for a mission.
They all silently laughed, and sat back.
"Well," Tony said, looking disoriented yet a little more relaxed now in believing the others' story, "Happy Halloween, guys." "Yes... it was indeed," Loki grinned manically, "A Happy Halloween."
They all smiled, sat back, and got ready to watch the 1978 Halloween.
"Oh, and Tony?" "Yeah?" "You owe us all shwarma."
THE END
[Zoom out on tower, freeze frame on full moon again as the clouds dissipate and leave an eerie glow over the dark night]
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!