Balance to the Force
Chapter One
Darth Vader
This is how it feels to be the Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader, the man formerly known as the hero with no fear, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, if you use the term man loosely. The first dawn in your universe brings pain. The light burns you, will always burn you. Part of you will always lie upon black glass sand beside a lake of fire while flames chew upon your flesh. Part of you will always see the last thing you ever saw, Obi-Wan scooping up your lightsaber and shaking his head sadly, leaving you to die. You can hear your breathing. It comes hard and harsh, and it scrapes nerves already raw, but you cannot stop it, you cannot even slow it down. Mechanisms hardwired into your chest will pump oxygen into your bloodstream forever. Anakin Skywallker used to scream inside your head now he's merely a whisper of what you should have been. All the pain you feel you put into others. You don't feel human, you barely feel alive. You are one of the most feared, most powerful beings in the galaxy. There are none who oppose you. The only person you answer to is the Emperor.
At night, it's different. While asleep Anakin Skywalker takes hold of your dreams. Memories of Anakin Skywalker's life return to haunt you. He's merely a ghost, a spirit and he isn't capable of grasping the power you wield, you think sadly.
"I don't want things to change," nine year old Ani said.
"You can't stop change anymore than you can stop the suns from setting." Ani's mom told him. Mom, Anakin screamed. Would you be proud of me now? Would she? Anakin asks Lord Vader. What about your dreams? You have the power to free all the slaves like we always wanted. You wanted, Lord Vader corrects him as Padme Skywalker, and Anakin's beloved wife appears.
"I'm going to marry you," Ani said knowingly.
"You are an odd one. Why do you say that?" she asked, not amused.
"Because it's true.
"I'm afraid I can't marry you..." she looked at him, forgetting his name.
"Anakin," he supplied.
"Anakin, you are just a little boy."
"I won't always be," he said with certainty. Darth Vader writhed in pain against the love Anakin showed him, the concern, and the life.
The Emperor thought Darth Vader had nightmares. That wasn't true, his nightmare was being awake and trapped in this suit, trapped with a life without Padme and their child. For the first five years he had dreamed of Mustafar. After that he dreamed of Anakin Skywalker, someone who no longer existed. General Tarkin buzzed him in.
"Lord Vader."
"What is it, General?" Darth Vader said testily.
"I was wondering what the Emperor's orders were."
"Leave that to me," he replied. He hated Moff Tarkin. The Emperor used him to keep him in line, to make sure he didn't get soft, to make sure Anakin stayed buried.
"Shall I contact the Emperor personally?" General Tarkin persisted.
"That will not be necessary, General. The Emperor believes that Senator Organa is behind the Rebellion. Bring his daughter to me." Darth Vader paused. "His wife died some years ago, didn't she?"
"Yes, Lord Vader." Darth Vader thought of Anakin's wife and lost child. The child if it had lived could have changed his own destiny. It was too late. It was Bail who had turned his wife against Palpatine and Anakin had risked everything for her safety. Bail had caused Padme's betrayal and the loss of their child. Better that he should worry over his child's safety. Sometimes doing one's duty was torture, and sometimes, he thought with a smile, it was a real pleasure. He faltered as he thought of the Princess of Alderaan.
He had met Princess Leia Organa before. She was very diplomatic and almost cold to him, although he sensed very little fear of him which had aroused his curiosity in her before. He had stayed busy up until now to do anything about it. She reminded him of Padme and his mother, though it made no sense. He also sensed that she was strong in the Force and had never mentioned her to the Emperor since she could be his chance to overthrow the Emperor and make things the way they should be. She was the same age their child would have been had it lived.
Lord Vader entered his personal chambers and the oxygen tank where he could breathe without the suit and mask. He was as alive as the monster he had become could be. If only the power could make him forget, or make Anakin completely disappear into the void so that he could become one with the dark side as the Emperor, his master, was. It his chambers hung his black Jedi garb scorched from Mustafar. It was as bare as his room at the Jedi Temple had been, or his home on Tattooine as a slave. He wondered what had become of See Threepio and Artoo. They had been with him and Padme on Mustafar. If anyone knew it would be Obi-Wan and when he next saw Obi-Wan he would pay as dearly as Anakin had paid, as Darth Vader paid every night that he slept. A storm trooper knocked and Darth Vader used the dark side to hurl him against the wall. Except for the exert of power; life had no meaning. They knew better than to disturb him while he was in his personal chambers. If they needed something they could page him, not disturb him in his room. Darth Vader pushed a button, "Send someone to clean up the mess in the hall."
"Yes, Lord Vader," he heard and wondered at the brains behind the storm troopers. Lord Sidious was supposed to be brilliant; so why had it been so easy for Obi-Wan and Yoda to get back into the temple. They had changed the temple's beacon from his message for all surviving Jedi to return. Lord Vader sighed, when he was the Emperor he would clone someone who was incapable of being manipulated with a simple mind trick.