Edward was fussing over her again. It had gotten increasingly worse since their marriage. He was being ridiculous! Bella was a vampire and he insisted she wear a helmet just to go put out the garbage. His argument being, that since she had turned, everyone would be out to get her and she was therefore in greater peril than when she was a sickly and doped up mortal. She thought not.
Contempt began to build up inside her as she took the garbage out in her helmet and bulletproof vest. In his unstable state, Edward didn't seem to realise they would do nothing if she was attacked, which she wouldn't be, because married life was too boring for something so eventful to happen. As she stepped out into the snow, she stripped down to an outfit that was even lamer; jeans and a shirt that made her look frumpy. She let her hair down as she sprinted out the gate, which proceeded to hang limply despite her speed. Jacob's place was not far and she wanted to discuss something with him before her enthusiasm lapsed.
Barging clumsily inside his house, she tried not to stare as he appeared in just jeans; it just seemed so odd now to be with someone where safety gear was not a major interest. She slumped down onto his couch and asked if she could call in a favour. "I just need a few ideas and help with the planning, I know we've discussed this, but I'm serious this time".
"Hell yeah! Bring on the fun!" Jacob was perhaps more enthused than she was, but that wasn't very hard. She and Edward made such a dull couple. Jacob strode out of the room and returned with a bundle of rolled papers and a sword. Spreading out the papers he explained the plans scrawled across them, "and when we're done with Edward, feel free to crash here and we can have more fun than you ever had with him." He winked, but Bella seemed to miss what he was suggesting entirely.
Bella grabbed the sword as Jacob crumpled into wolf form. A burning cinder floated onto her hair from the open fireplace and singed a bald patch on the top of her head; she wished she had been wearing her helmet. Readjusting her part to hide the patch, she bolted after Jacob. Soon they were at Bella and Edward's humble abode that they had inherited from Bella's father who had died; a fact that upset Edward as he and Charlie had gotten on so well.
Bella climbed in through the same window that Edward had watched her sleep through years ago now. She put on her lullaby composed by Edward himself; she thought it would keep her motivated and focused on her mission. The commotion downstairs sounded like it was going well; Bella even smiled a little as Edward was chased up that stairs by Jacob, who was tearing at his flesh with his teeth. Edward sighed as he bled onto the new carpet he had just had put in; it was so pretty too.
Holding the sword up ready, she stumbled behind the door in anticipation. Edward entered blathering on about he how he just wanted the best for Bella, and how he was willing to come to an arrangement as he didn't want any more violence. Bella summoned the character to roll her eyes; this was such a typical Edward reaction. She swung the sword hard and fast at his throat and watched his head tumble backwards out her door and down the staircase. His body flopped forward onto the CD player, ending the lullaby. The floor was now splattered with blood and his body lay limply, which really wasn't a huge change for Edward.
Now in human form and wearing a pair of Edward's jeans, Jacob looked over and grinned at Bella. "Well that was fun, wanna go get cleaned up at my place?" He winked again. Bella looked around and was pleased by what she saw. The blood was certainly the best interior decoration in the house.
"Nah, I'm gonna stay here, and I think you should too, we'll have a bonfire." This time she returned his wink with a playful grin; life was definitely more interesting without Edward.