Slightly angsty, I like angsty things. This is my first fic ever so reviews would be awesome! Hope you guys enjoy. - Norah
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, that belongs to Hiro Mashima. Also, I do own any of the original plot ideas used in the show True Detective, which was the inspiration for this fic.
This was the only way. This was the only way. This was the only way. Or at least, that was the mantra Lucy recited, and allowed herself to believe, as she slowly walked up the driveway that lead to Gray Fullibuster's apartment.
The flower-printed dress she wore ruffled slightly in the wind and her heels clanked on the pavement and stone steps. It was dark, late, and a place that she should not be at on a weeknight, but Natsu, her husband, had made it impossible for her to stand being at home, even if he himself was not there either. No, she shouldn't think of Natsu right now, or even why she was coming to call on Gray this late either. She should treat this action and moment in time as nothing more than a mission, one that was necessary to her sanity and to the sanctity of her family, particularly her two little girls.
With a shivering and resounding sigh, whilst pushing the thoughts of her family to the back of her mind, Lucy raised her hand to ring the doorbell, only for her action to be quickly reciprocated as the door swung open to reveal Gray's tall and dark frame.
"Just like Gray to quickly respond to the situation", Lucy thought. Like usual, his torso was bare to the dim lighting of his surroundings and a snug pair of jeans clung to his hips, as the smell of cigarette smoke and cheap liquor wafted throughout the tiny, simple apartment, past Lucy's hesitant frame, and out through the open doorway.
Gray allowed a flicker of apparent surprise to cross his features, but that was quickly composed as he sent Lucy a grunt and slight nod of appraise, and stepped aside to let her in, slamming and relocking the bolts to the door behind her.
To answer his questioning gaze, Lucy whispered in a distressed tone as she walked through the hallway to what could have been called the kitchen and open dining room, "He's doing it again. He's doing it again and I can't live with it, not now…not anymore."
Not waiting for a response, she took in her surroundings as she stood in the middle of the room, circling her gaze around it. It seemed as if the ice mage had not been getting along any better than what Natsu had told her just a few weeks ago. Empty cigarette packs littered the trashcan and bottles of cheap whiskey were piled up against the wall adjacent to the kitchen, making what would otherwise be a clean and simple house, a depressing mess. Of course Natsu would have known of Gray's situation, they were partners after all, but it still brought a pang of bitterness to the celestial mage's heart as she remembered how close her and Gray used to be. How close they all used to be. Growing apart always happens this way, one doesn't notice the absence until it is too late, and boy was it too late for Gray and herself.
Everyone in the guild seemed to have paired off eventually, either through marriage or other means as the years went on. Lucy with Natsu, Erza with Jellal, Gajeel and Levy, Juvia and Lyon, Mira with Laxus… and the list kept going on, heck even Romeo and Wendy were together, albeit at an early stage of their young budding relationship. Most everybody had found love, an intimate love, within the guild as the past ten years went by; everyone except Gray, a fact that Natsu could never stand. He would always complain when returning from missions, or wherever the hell he had been, about the dangers that loneliness held in man like Gray's mind. Of course that worried Lucy, but what could she do besides attempt to set Gray up on hopeless dates? She was married, with two beautiful young girls, and a part-time job taking missions for Fairy Tail. It was Natsu's duty, as his partner and best friend… no she should stop thinking of Natsu right now, lest she started to regret what she was about to do, something that she swore she would never ever do to the one she loved.
As she was drawn back to the current situation, she noticed that Gray had poured himself another drink of whiskey and was sipping on it quietly as he leaned his back against the countertop and stared at her, almost begging her to continue.
"Did you know?" Her throat tightened as she asked.
"No." Lucy couldn't decide if she should believe his answer, so she chose to return her gaze to the rest of the room, to decipher the current mess of Gray's state, whether it was his state of mind or state of heart.
However, her self-centered thoughts went to the moment she realized the extent of Natsu's disloyalty. She never wanted to be the kind of wife that became overly suspicious, but now she was glad she did. Natsu was never able to get over his wandering nature, she knew this and it was part of the reason she loved him in the first place. But when notable wanderings changed to multiple days spent missing with no proof of a mission being behind it, she began to worry, and from worrying she found reason to be suspicious. Until, one day, she found two letters of his; one from the bank reviewing his recent spendings on jewelry…lots of jewelry that she never saw, and the other from Lisanna, asking, no begging him to come back soon and show her another good time. At first she wanted to confront the misdeeds head first, but after thinking about the effect it could have on her little girls, along with his standing in Fairy Tail, the guild he first invited her to join so long ago, Lucy decided to keep quiet for a little bit longer. Eventually though, she confronted him and they almost split for good. However, things worked out and she thought he had stopped. Now Lucy knows she was wrong.
After a pause… "Why are you here Gray?"
The question had its intended effect, as the ice mage's mind reeled for an answer. While she waited, Lucy slowly began to move closer resting her hand and hip against the small round table in front of her, all the while staring intently at the man she seemed to have confused.
"Let me make myself clearer…why are you alone?"
At this, his eyes hardened and after taking a heavy gulp of his drink, "You think I'm lonely Lucy? Maybe you should stop hanging on every word that comes out of your husband's mouth."
Lucy could not help but gasp at the harsh words that were directed at her. So he did know. Her mouth settled in a hard line and, deciding to let his previous lie slide, she chose to change her tactics.
"I'm worried about you. I haven't seen you in almost a month, and it's been longer for Erza. Is it always going to be like this, our times together becoming longer in between?" She really was worried about him, she couldn't help it. She worried about all of her friends and the gap that was ever growing between them as marriages, anniversaries, and baby announcements became the norm. But tonight was for her, and in this case, she would only use her worry to get closer to her goal.
"I've been busy Lucy, you should know this. Natsu is too. We're on to something big here; the series of disappearances of women and children in Fiore throughout the past two to three years are showing signs of being connected. That should be what is worrying you. Maybe if you hung around the guild more you would see me, instead of playing house all the time with Natsu!" As he said his partner's name, his empty fist slammed on the counter, causing Lucy to flinch.
Realizing his rashness and how stupid his drunken state must have made him sound, he set his drink down and reached into his pocket to pull out a cigarette.
"Stop," Lucy whispered, "You know how I hate smoking, and since you still haven't noticed, I'm not playing anything. I have children now…you know, two little girls. Do you even know their names?" While saying this, she moved away from the table, up to the counter to stand beside Gray. As the bitter question left her mouth, her hand rose to take the cigarette out of his, and she placed it on the counter.
She stared at the shape of his jaw, the hard edges of his face, and the hollows of his eyes as her almost desperate repetition left her mouth, "You can't live like this," she choked. I can't live like this. I can't live like this. I can't live like this.
At the suddenness of their proximity, Gray's body stiffened and he looked away to anywhere that allowed him to escape the intensity of her gaze. "You know when people try to give me advice, I think they are talking more about themselves." Hearing this, Lucy's hand slid to rest lowly on Gray's arm, allowing her body to open up more to his leaning stature. "What are you doing?" Gray asked, snapping his gaze in her direction, all of a sudden becoming horribly aware of how this was going to end.
"Some people," Lucy responded, "… no matter where they look, only see themselves."
Gray once again looked away from her, so she took her chance and went in for the kill. Her lips slowly leaned in against his neck, leaving open kisses along its lines as her grip shifted from the arm across from her to his hip, hanging onto the top of his jeans. Her body pressed intently against his as she deepened the kisses along his neck, moving to his shoulder, and then downwards towards his collarbone, nipping and sucking on his bare skin along the way.
His attempts at resisting her seduction were futile and half-hearted to begin with. When she lifted her mouth away from his chest to breathe, she whispered repeatedly, "Be honest. Be honest with yourself." If Gray were being honest with himself, he had wanted this for a very long time… and Lucy must have known that too. Gray rested his hand under her chin and lifted it up to capture her lips with his. Their mouths met harshly and unevenly. There were no pretenses of niceties to be had here. Arms entangled against bodies roughly. If it had not been for the counter behind them, they would have most likely fallen over. The ice mage's right arm lifted from Lucy's back to wrap his fingers in her blonde hair, grasping her head and pulling her closer as the other arm brushed down the side of her hip, down her upper thigh, and around to grip tightly on to her ass, lifting the skirt of her dress in the process.
As Gray pushed their positions around so that her back was pressed into the spot he was previously leaning on, Lucy lifted her hands to unbutton the top of her dress, revealing her lacily clad chest. Changing his mouth's attention from her lips to her chest, he licked and sucked his way downwards to eat up the freshly revealed skin, all the while lowering his right arm so that both were squeezing the cheeks of her ass against his torso.
"This was going to be quick and hard on both of them," was all Lucy could think as she once again moved her hands to unbutton, this time the clasps on his pants. Once they were undone, she pushed his pants and boxers down the length of his legs and moved her hands back up to grasp the hardness of his cock. Gray's sharp breaths and light moans sent Lucy's already sensitive body into overdrive as she glided her tight grip up and down his shaft. Each of his shudders caused him to tighten his hold on her backside, rubbing and grasping the sensitive skin there.
Gray had not been touched like this in a long time. No longer being able to wait, as well as wanting to bring a swift end to both of their betrayals, he quickly lifted Lucy up and flipped her over so that her body was pinned between him and the countertop. Spitting into his hand, after pushing her panties down to the floor, Gray then cupped the folds of Lucy's heat from behind, letting his fingers play and swirl around her clit, making her moan anonymous sayings into the thick and coarse air of his apartment. Lucy, enjoying the feel of his hand's mighty presence, reached behind her and once again wrapped around and tugged on the shaft of his member. Lucy knew that they were both getting closer to the end that would eventually end everything. Sensing her unrest, Gray spread her legs further apart and, guiding his hardness towards her opening, pushed himself in.
For Lucy, there were no light words to describe being fucked by Gray. It was rough, detached, and dark, darker than any make-up sex, mid-fight sex, or angry sex that she had had with Natsu. He crossed his right arm around her body, resting his open hand on the base of her throat, almost as if to strangle her from behind. As he pulled her body tight against his, so tight it hurt, he quickened his thrusts. She knew she was going to have bruises and scratches where his hands lay waste to her skin. "Good," Lucy thought, "Better way to show Natsu what he drove me to do." She quickly lost herself in the feel of it all; the betrayal on both of their parts, this grim reunion with Gray, and the forbiddenness of the situation, paired with the hard, tight, and violent thrusts into her pleasure caused Lucy to go over the edge and Gray to quickly follow.
Their climaxed and heavy breathings rasped throughout the quietness of, seemingly, the rest of the world. Gray lowered his head into the crook of her neck, whispering her name quietly into her hair, "Lucy… Lucy… Lucy." For a moment, Lucy became panicked, wondering if maybe she should not have done this to Gray; Gray someone she used to hold dear. This would surely ruin not only Lucy's relationship with Natsu, but Gray's as well. Not to mention, she knew he used to have feelings for her.
.
.
.
However, the moment passed. She deserved this, she decided; this lapse of judgment, this second of selfishness, regardless of what came to be because of it.
A minute ticked by and Lucy lightly pushed Gray away from her as she reached down to slide her panties back on and buttoned the top to her dress. Behind her she heard the buttoning and zipping of pants. She turned her head when Gray bumped into the round table she so safely leaned against only moments before with a shocked and horrified expression on his face, as if those previous actions weren't his at all. "What the fuck are you doing here?" He asked, already realizing the answer.
"I'm sorry Gray… I had to…I didn't think I could do it but I'm glad I could." Noticing his harsh questioning gaze, she continued nearly shouting, "Eight years is a long time!" Still breathing heavily from the previous events, "And he…he was going to ruin everything that we worked for…but I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave him."
"You fucker", Gray whispered, but he couldn't bring himself to be entirely angry.
"So I needed you…I needed to have you do something that he would never forgive, so that he would have to leave…so that my family, me and my daughters, could have peace. Now, he won't be able to live like thi – "
"Get the fuck out of here," Gray whispered repeatedly, "Just please, please get the fuck out of here." Opening the back door to his apartment, he refused to meet Lucy's gaze.
She made a sound in the back of throat, slightly startled, realizing the total damage she had created. Lucy tried to give one more false apology, to touch his muscled chest, only this time out of compassion instead of lust. "I'm sorry," she whispered, but he only pushed her away and shouted her out the door, slamming it behind her.
None of them would be able to live like this.