From the Ashes
Kelly Severide heard a floorboard creak from the next room and he sat up in bed. The room was dark, he turned towards the nightstand and saw the red digits on the clock: 2:38 A.M. The sounds continued through the wall, he tiredly dragged an open hand down his bottom jaw, pushed back the covers and got out of bed. He opened the door and padded out to the living room. It was dark in there as well, but there was enough light coming in through the windows that he could see his guest pacing around in the middle of the room.
"Casey," he quietly called out.
The figure in the shadows stopped moving. Even in the dark he could feel Casey's eyes on him.
"Sorry," he whispered back, "I didn't mean to get you up."
"You didn't." The truth of the matter was Kelly hadn't been getting much sleep in general the last few nights, ever since Stella broke things off between them.
"You alright?" Kelly asked as he took a step closer to the Truck captain, who hadn't moved from where he stood.
"I just...got a lot on my mind," Matt replied, trying to shrug it all off. But Severide knew better.
Kelly shrugged and asked since they were both up, "Want to talk about it?"
"No," Casey shook his head and absently started pacing again.
Kelly took another step towards him. "Casey..."
"Everything..." the single word left Casey's lips, and all at once Kelly understood what he was trying to say.
If there was any doubt, Casey tried again and was able to say what he'd started to before, "Everything's gone...everything I worked for, making a home for me, for us," by which Severide knew he meant Gabby, "everything I ever had..." he pointed to the box that had sat on Severide's coffee table for the last couple days. "That's all that's left...40 years and that's all I have to show for it."
Kelly solemnly nodded and said quietly, "I know," and took another step towards Casey.
Casey raised his arms to his chest in a defensive gesture and stepped away from Severide.
"My home is gone, everything I had is gone, Gabby's gone, Naomi's gone...investigative journalist...I must've been real stupid to think she'd stick around, huh?"
"You're not stupid, Casey."
"Nooo, I just never learn."
"Casey," Kelly took another step towards him, trying to get his attention.
"I lost everything when my mom killed my dad and she went to prison...my sister was on the other side of the country at college, she was no help, I was on my own...but I still had..." Casey moved towards the table and Severide heard him rifling through the box and saw something taken out, he guessed it was a framed photo.
"It's all gone," he said hopelessly as he dropped it back in the box. In the dim light Kelly saw him tugging on his shirt. "None of this is mine, Herrmann had Cindy pick it all up...I can't...I can't..."
Severide took advantage of Casey's momentary distraction and reached out and put his arms around him, it definitely was not welcomed and he felt Casey resisting against him immediately.
"What're you doing?" Casey sounded disgusted and struggled against him, "Let go of me, I don't need-"
"Casey..." Kelly was doing his best to keep calm, which given everything he'd been through the last few days, wasn't easy either, but he maintained a cool temper as he kept a tight grip on Casey and told him simultaneously gently and firmly, "Shut up, and let me talk."
"What?"
Kelly had a response all planned out, but instead, after a brief pause, he confessed, "Stella left me."
The fight suddenly left Casey. "What?"
Kelly nodded. "The night you went to get your stuff."
"What?" Casey was in shock. "You...you mean...you're sure?"
"I don't think she's coming back," Kelly told him, the illumination from the city lights revealed one watery eye shining as he answered Casey. "I don't even know what happened...she explained her reasons why but...it's just not real."
This sudden revelation really made Casey feel like he'd just been punched in the gut.
"I'm sorry, Kelly."
Severide choked on a bitter laugh as he responded, "She actually...she compared me to Grant, saying she couldn't go through that again."
There was a silence and Kelly could almost hear as well as he saw Casey's eyes bulge and his jaw drop as he let out a very loud and shocked, "What?"
"I don't know where it all went wrong, I thought once she realized what Tyler was up to, that things could get back to...normal."
Casey loudly exhaled in a sigh. He hadn't really talked to Severide much over the past couple weeks, he knew that he and Stella were having some kind of problems, but he definitely didn't think it was anything serious enough to break up over. He figured she'd come back in a couple days, during which time he'd promptly be finding his own apartment so he didn't have to listen to them in the next room all night.
"I'm sorry, Kelly, I had no idea."
"Yeah, well..." Severide didn't even know what to say.
He felt the sigh in Casey's chest as much as he heard it, then heard Matt say, "Everything's a mess."
"It'll get better," Kelly told him.
The breath that left Casey sounded like an unconvinced snort.
"Casey, I'm sorry there wasn't much to salvage, but we've seen it before, people lose their homes, lose everything in a fire, it takes a while but they pick up and move on with their lives, it can be done."
"I know," Casey groaned as he rubbed a hand over his eyes.
"You're gonna be alright...we're gonna be alright."
He kept his hold on Casey but moved back so he could look him in the eyes.
"I didn't really get a chance to tell you at the time, but I'm glad you got out okay," Kelly told him.
He heard the low, shaky breath that Casey inhaled as he took that in.
"If anything would've happened to you...I can deal with Stella leaving, but...I can't lose anymore friends," Kelly heard his voice starting to break and hadn't realized his throat was tightening.
Casey sighed and leaned against Kelly and defeatedly rested his chin on Severide's shoulder, and after a brief pause, he responded, almost too quietly for Kelly to even hear, "I can't lose anything else...anyone."
Kelly pressed his chin against the top of Casey's head and held him tight for a moment. The apartment was quiet and dark, the only sound detectable was their own breathing.
"Hey..." Kelly pulled back to see he had Matt's attention, in the dark he quietly told his best friend, "I love you, Casey."
In what little light there was he could see one of Casey's eyes widen. Not exactly surprised by what Severide had just said, but he looked like he was anticipating something else.
In a very deadpanned tone Casey asked him, "You're not gonna kiss me, are you?"
Severide laughed, and told him, "Just try and stop me", and in one quick movement he placed both hands on the sides of Casey's face and kissed him on the cheek.
"Ugh!" Casey grimaced as he pulled back from Kelly, "I knew Shay was a bad influence on you."
Kelly merely laughed in response. Suddenly Kelly felt a small series of tremors against him.
"You cold?" he asked Matt.
Casey didn't answer but Kelly could've sworn he heard the captain's teeth start to chatter behind his pursed lips.
Kelly finally broke the embrace and clapped a hand on Casey's shoulder and told him as he gestured to the couch, "Come on, let's sit down."
Casey felt the sunlight shining against his closed eyes and he crinkled them even tighter as he tried to block it out. He wasn't ready to face the day. He turned his face to the side, then slowly made the realization he wasn't in bed, and he didn't know where he was. Hesitantly, he opened his eyes one at a time and he saw he was face down on the couch, then he slowly looked down the length of his body and saw he was draped over two thirds of the couch with his legs bent at the last cushion. And then he saw another pair of legs sticking out from under his, and he slowly turned his gaze across to the other side of the couch and saw Kelly sitting up and just starting to wake up himself. The two firemen looked at each other and exchanged a mutually shocked yelp of discovery and Casey rolled over and fell on the floor.
"What happened?" Kelly asked as he sat up straighter and swung his legs around to the floor.
Casey rubbed the side of his head and looked to the clock, but he wasn't awake enough yet to actually make out the time.
"It's morning," he groaned. Then it occurred to him that they'd spent the night on the couch, and apparently at some point during the night he fell asleep and used Severide's body like a mattress. "Sorry."
Kelly grunted and rubbed his eyes, "Don't worry about it. You feeling better?"
"I was..." Casey turned and saw the box sitting on the coffee table, "until now anyway."
"Sorry, buddy," Kelly scooted off the couch and stood up, he reached over and put a hand on his friend's shoulder, "it'll get easier, you know you can stay here until your insurance gets settled."
"I appreciate it, I'll have to take you up on it," Casey said. "I...never mind."
"It's okay, you can say it," Severide told him. "It'll be easier without Stella here."
"Sorry."
"It's okay...I won't pretend staying with you and Gabby didn't get a little cramped at times."
A sound caught in Casey's throat, something that could've either been a laugh or a sob. "It'd be really cramped now." Despite the situation, he was able to laugh about it.
Severide chuckled at the comment, then asked, "You okay?"
"I'm gonna get a shower," Casey said. "20 years of house fires, for some reason my own leaves me feeling unable to get clean."
Kelly had gone to bed earlier that night, and had hoped they'd both be able to sleep clear through, he should've known it wouldn't be that easy. He wasn't sure what exactly woke him, but an unfamiliar sound got his attention. He opened his eyes and saw the clock again: 1:59. He felt the springs in the mattress give way as a sudden weight was added to it. He turned over onto his other side and saw Casey crawling into the other side of the bed.
"What the hell?"
All Casey said in response was, "Hey, you didn't mind storming into my bedroom last night."
Kelly opened his mouth to respond that that was his living room, but he caught himself in time and said only, "Fair point. What's up?"
Casey turned on his hip and looked Severide in the eyes and said only, "Tell me again we're gonna get better."
Kelly paused as he took that in, and he noted the undertone of worry that was present in Casey's voice. He reached over, put an arm around Casey and pulled him towards him and said tiredly but assuredly, "We're gonna be fine." He turned his head and asked Matt, "What's up?"
Casey shook his head, "Nothing."
Severide knew that wasn't true, but he wouldn't push. He maintained his hold on Casey, waiting to see if he tried to push away, he didn't. He waited, and waited, and felt his eyelids growing heavy, heavy, heavy...
There was a crash and the sound of glass breaking.
"Ah!" Severide was jerked out of his sleep at the noise and sat up in his bed, and asked before he even got his eyes open, "Casey, you alright?" Silence. "Casey?"
Kelly reached over and turned on the bedside lamp. It was 3:40 in the morning, and the other side of the bed was empty, though there was evidence that Casey had been there. Kelly listened, the apartment was quiet. He was starting to entertain the notion that he had merely dreamed it, and though in the back of his mind he knew he should at least get up and make sure, he was so tired, he sank back against the pillows and fell back asleep.
Casey was gone when Severide went out to the living room the next morning. There was a note on the coffee table he'd gone to get some things and would be back later. Kelly crumpled up the note and tossed it in the wastebasket, and then got the answer to what it was he'd heard last night. He reached into the wastebasket and pulled out the shattered pieces of a broken picture frame that had been blackened by the fire. Under the glass and wood, there was a photograph of Matt and Gabby. In that moment, it hit him. The noise had been too loud for it to be anything but Casey intentionally tossing this into the trash. Severide looked in the basket again to see if anything else had been thrown away, and there was, clear in the bottom.
His wedding ring.
Kelly couldn't believe it. He thought Casey had gotten rid of it once he and Gabby got a divorce.
Poor guy, as if he hadn't lost enough stuff, now even some of what he'd managed to salvage hadn't even been worth the trouble.
Severide sat on the edge of the coffee table and looked in the box. Casey was right, there was damn little left to show for the course of his life. He couldn't imagine what was going through Casey's mind right now, the only thing he'd ever lost to a fire was his Camaro. And it was no consolation, but that had been personal, he knew the reason why it happened. For Casey to lose everything because of a random fling with Naomi, something nobody could've foreseen happening, let alone putting him in mortal danger...no wonder Matt hardly knew which way was up these days.
He heard the door being unlocked and promptly dropped everything back in the wastebasket.
"Hey," Casey said as he entered the apartment carrying two grocery sacks.
"Hey," Kelly replied as he stood up. "Was it my imagination or were you bunking with me last night?"
"Oh yeah, sorry about that," Casey murmured as he headed towards the kitchen.
"Casey," Severide followed him, "it's alright, I get it."
"Somehow I doubt that."
"This whole thing's an adjustment for both of us, but we'll get it figured out," Kelly told him.
"I...I know...it's just..." Casey set the bags on the table and turned towards him, "I never thought anything like this could happen, you know?"
Severide nodded and grunted, "I know...if I ever actually thought about it I'd keep my car locked in a storage unit 24/7."
Casey laughed and agreed, "Yeah, you have a pretty lousy track record with them...one car torched, one car stolen, crashed, totaled, how do you still have insurance?"
"Beats me," Severide said over a laugh.
"I just..." Casey looked around the room, "starting over fresh, like this, literally nothing...I don't even know where to start."
"You're gonna start by staying with me until you can find another place," Kelly told him, "no matter how long it takes."
"Sounds good in theory."
"Hey, we lived together before."
"Yeah, that was different."
"Because it was your place instead of mine?"
"Maybe..."
"Casey," Kelly looked at him, "I'm not going to kick you out."
"You might change your mind later," Casey responded.
Kelly shook his head. "Not happening, buddy."
Casey closed his eyes and inhaled, then he opened his eyes again and told Kelly, "I don't know what to say...thank you."
"You all did too much, you know that?" Casey asked as he and Kelly sat on the couch, exhausted after returning from the Christmas party at Molly's. Casey had just barely enough energy to work on the new laptop that Otis had gotten him, as he reinstalled everything he'd had saved on a couple flash drives he'd found in the ruins of his apartment that somehow seemed unscathed.
Kelly crumpled up large pieces of wrapping paper and tossed them into the wastebasket, "Only you, Matt Casey, could complain about your friends giving you too much free stuff at Christmas."
"Everybody already did too much filling the boot, Herrmann had Cindy get four huge bags of stuff from Walmart," Casey reminded him, "I can never...it's..."
"It's not charity, Casey, it's family," Severide told him. "What would you do if it had been Herrmann's place that burnt down? Him and Cindy and their five kids and nowhere to go."
"That's different."
"Why?"
"Because Herrmann actually has a family."
"What if it was me?" Kelly asked.
Casey turned towards him.
"Otis and Cruz got each other, Mouch has Trudy, most of the others have somebody with them, what if it was my place that got torched? You know that thought had to be crossing Hadley's mind at some point."
"Oh well then I'd have to take you in," Casey sarcastically replied as he leaned back against the couch, "Everybody else would already be taken, and anybody who isn't wouldn't want you."
Severide laughed and elbowed Casey in the ribs.
"So now the next question, what do I do with all the stuff everyone got me?" Matt asked. "I have no place to put it."
"Storage closet's pretty empty, you can keep it there until you get your own place," Kelly told him.
Casey nodded, "Thanks."
"By the time you do get another apartment, you're gonna be set," Severide said.
"Yeah," Casey looked over his haul for the night and remarked, "I shouldn't need new clothes, or razors, or tools, or beer, for about five years."
"Five days maybe," Kelly said as he took a bottle out of the six-pack. He looked over at Casey and noted the distant look in his eyes. "You okay?"
Casey sighed an inhale and said, "I know I should be grateful for everything considering how bad things could've gone, but this is just a depressing Christmas."
There was a solemn moment of silence between them, Severide finally broke it by saying, "Next year will be better."
"Yeah..." Casey looked straight ahead, that distant gaze back in his eyes, and his voice not sounding convinced of that.
Kelly took another bottle out of the pack and held it in front of Casey. He looked at Severide for a minute, then finally accepted it. "Thanks."
Kelly wasn't exactly sure what had happened during the New Year's Eve party the night before, all he knew was that he fell out of bed early the next morning hungover, feeling like crap, in his underwear with a party hat cocked over his ear, and a party blowout still in his hand. He was sure there must be one hell of an interesting story to this, but for the life of him he had no memory of it. He decided to wake Casey up and see if he could fill him in on the details, if not, at least he ought to get a good laugh out of it. Lord knew he could use as many of those as he could get these days.
Apparently Casey had also partied a little too hard last night, he was still asleep on the couch, at first glance he looked as hungover as Kelly was, except he was curled on his side in a ball trying to bury his face in the couch cushion to shut out the daylight coming in through the windows.
Severide just couldn't help himself. He bent over Casey, placed the mouthpiece for the blowout between his teeth, quietly took in a deep breath, and blew into it with all his might.
"GAAAAHHHHH!" Casey yelled as he sprung out of his ball and fell back on the couch laid straight out. He looked above him and took in Severide's bizarre and disheveled appearance, and after a minute he finally concluded, "That stork must'a got the wrong address." He rolled over on his other side to press his face against the back of the couch as he added in a muffled tone, "That's the ugliest Baby New Year I've ever seen."
"Oh yeah?" Severide drew his leg back and kicked Casey right in the butt, drawing a muffled yelp from the Truck captain.
"Happy New Year!" Severide said with emphasized sarcasm.
"What's so happy about it?" Casey grumbled as he turned back over with his eyes shut. "What happened last night?"
"I was hoping you could tell me," Kelly said.
"I don't know," Casey grabbed the afghan he'd gotten tangled up in and pulled it over his head, "I don't even know where I am now."
"Come on, Casey, get up."
All he heard in response was a muffled groan.
"Come on, I'll get the coffee started, you go take a shower. You look like you need it worse than I do."
"Now that's saying something," Casey commented as he pushed the covers back and reluctantly got up.
"Casey," Severide called as he carried a box into the apartment, "package for you."
Casey looked up from his spot on the couch and shrugged, "I didn't order anything."
"Well it's addressed to you," Kelly told him as he set it on the coffee table. "And it's heavy, whatever it is."
"Who's it from?" Casey asked as he glanced at the box.
"No return address."
"And no postage," Casey noted, "nobody sent this, somebody just dropped it off."
"Well open it and see what's inside," Severide said as he sat down beside him.
Casey looked at it for a few seconds, and told Kelly, "If this turns out to be a bomb, I'm going to kill somebody."
"You worry too much," Kelly told him.
"I just had my apartment set on fire, paranoia is not a bad thing right now," Matt replied.
Kelly just rolled his eyes in response.
Casey finally cut the box open and pulled up the flaps to look inside.
There was bubble wrap covering everything, Casey pulled it out and he and Kelly saw two bricks also wrapped in bubble paper to weigh the box down. In between the bricks...both firefighters felt their jaws drop as Casey reached in and pulled out a stack of hundred dollar bills with a band around them. Under that stack was another, and another, and another.
"How much is that?" Kelly asked.
Casey unwrapped the first stack and counted the bills.
"$5,000."
"Who..."
"There's only one person I know who could afford it," Matt said.
Kelly blinked. "Voight?"
"Why he would though is beyond me."
"$20,000?"
"If memory serves, the same amount he tried to bribe me with when we met," Casey said, "stuffed it in my gym bag when he 'returned' it."
"After he stole it."
"And slashed my tires."
"Did he ever actually admit to any of that?"
"No, you know he did though," Casey said.
"I know he did," Kelly replied, "honestly though, it wouldn't be surprising if he had someone do it for him."
Severide looked at the money and felt his mouth fall open again as he tried to make any sense of it. The first thing that occurred to him was, "That's enough to rent a new apartment for a year and a half."
"I'm not getting a new apartment," Casey told him.
"What?" Kelly turned towards him.
"I'm not going through all this again," Casey said. "I don't know what he was thinking but...this, would be a good down payment on a house."
Kelly felt his eyeballs widen, "You're buying a house?"
"Yep, if somebody tries setting me on fire again, I want a window I can climb out of," Casey answered.
His reasoning might've been a bit unusual but Severide had to admit he had a point.
"You got a place in mind already?"
"I've been looking," Casey gestured towards his laptop, "seen a few places that might be worth a look but nothing's really stuck out yet."
"Well..." Severide looked at the money on the coffee table, "at least when something does, you'll be able to afford it."
"Mm-hmm," Casey nodded, "and I hope you'll come visit."
Kelly looked at him with a blank expression on his face for a couple seconds, then he smiled, "You got it."
"Thanks for letting me stay here while I get back on my feet," Casey told him.
"Hey, about time I was able to repay the favor," Kelly said.
Casey looked at him, then leaned over and hugged Severide.
"You have no idea what this has meant to me."
Kelly smiled as he slipped an arm around Casey's back in return, "Hey, it's been nice not being alone. You've been a very nice distraction from Stella walking out."
Casey buried his face in Kelly's shoulder as he choked on a laugh.
"You're a great friend, Kelly," Matt told him, and added, "I love you too."
Severide grinned and said, "I definitely think we could do worse than each other."
Matt collapsed against him laughing.