=O Holyyyee sshheeiiitt... so... uhm, yeah... a LOTR story with a twist~

A Mary Sue with an ACTUAL person! Woo~

Let's see what happens!

Elizabeth was thinking, thinking as hard as her perfect, cute, and impossibly pretty, gorgeous little head could think. She thought hard. Suddenly, a slightly original thought graced her perfect head, 'I know! I've gotta get a friend-servant-person! She'll be my best friend that was the only person that kept me going when my meanie-poo-head uncle beat me every Tuesday! She'll get to know Leggy-poo and then she'll introduce me to him and me and Leggy will fall in love when he sees how weird and manly she is compared to me! And then we'll live happliy ever after! Yeah!'

'Don't worry Leggy, my love, we'll be reunited soon!'

Jessica was bored. Really, really bored. It was the kind of boredom were you can't decide whether to finish watching some Scooby Doo movie, that started off with ' I, Cleopatra, the last of the Pharaoh's'... or Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. ... "Yikes! Jeepers! Where are you, Scooby Doo?" Suddenly, Shark Week was very entertaining. Have you ever been watching TV on your couch when suddenly you were watching a large, old tree laying several feet off the ground? Well, Neither has Jessica. Suddenly, something very green and brown was coming at her very fast, would it say "Hi?" ... No, but it would give her a very harsh hug.

"Oh, holy hell. What just happened...?" Jessica groaned, flipping over, her eyes still tightly shut. She felt as though someone had ripped out her spleen and was beating her with it.

"Ah, you must be my new best friend and servant person!" Her eye's snapped open, taking in the… view in front of her.

'Okay... What the hell? Best friend and servant-person? Something's… seriously off with this girl...' Jessica's eyes were greeted with a pair of perfect feet in slippers and a skirt. Looking upwards to the face the aforementioned girl, she was met with perfection, the kind of perfection that just stabbed you in the face, over, and over, and over again. It was the burning kind. She was unusually tall, and wearing a bright, 'look-at-me' red, medieval-styled dress.

Now was probably a good time to stop staring up her dress and get up. Standing eye to eye, Jessy realized that she wasn't unusually tall, she was in fact about 5' 7 or so, the neck line on her dress was slightly too revealing, and she looked sixteen or seventeen, a few years older than the 5' 5 fourteen year old, dark-haired, dark-eyed, Asian girl looking up at her. Secondly, she noticed the impossibly large heaving chest the older girl possessed, and the tiny scar marring her perfect flesh just above her also perfect left cheek bone, slightly obscured by her super straight, super sexy, super perfect looking pale blond hair, with a matching vibrant blue right eye, and a vibrant green left eye.

"Oh, I can't use YOU! You're too ugly, I'm gonna have to change that. I mean, you can't be pretty like me," at this, she paused, and flapped a hand at nothing, as though waving away an impossible thought and giggled to herself, "well, no one can be pretty like me," she tossed a lock of hair over her shoulder, "I am me, after all!"

"Change me? Okay, woman, what are you on?" Jessica glared at this ridiculously obnoxious girl standing in front of her.

"On? What ever do you mean? Your going to be my ticket to getting Leggy-poo to fall in love with me, but as my best friend and servant that talks in third person, you just can't be that ugly!! Okay, now stand still." She said, putting obnoxiously large amount of emphasis on the words "third" and "can't."

"What? Stand still with YOU? I don't think so." Jessica started to move off when suddenly she couldn't, she was... tied up, with invisible rope?

"Now, as I said, stand still and let me make you pretty!" She sang the last bit, adding a long, drawn-out vibrato.

'Holy shit, holy shit, holy SHIT! What the fuck?! I'm tied up with NOTHING! And she's gonna perform plastic surgery! Okay, calm down, it's not like she's gonna perform it while I'm awake...'

"Alright, I'm done." With a plastic smile of satisfaction, the older girl took a minor step back, as Jessica realized, to the place where she had originally been standing. When had she taken a step forward?

"Wait... what?!" Jessica blinked, feeling… no different, but a bit more confused.

"Are you deaf? I'm done!"

"... How...?"

"Oh, just look! Here." Jessica was handed an intricately carved mirror, but not that she noticed, in her hurry to see what she looked like. That mirror was very resistant to breaking when dropped, apparently.

"MOTHER-! What did you do!?!"

"I made you pretty, obviously, what does it look like?" Jessica looked... white, ish. Her formerly Asian nose had been altered to become a slim, American nose, and the only Asian remnants were her Asian eyes, and dark, black hair, which had become perfectly straight, curling in wispy locks at the bottom. Her beforehand slightly-too-thin-for-her-tastes hair had become quite full, soft, shiny, and overall perfected. Almost. It wasn't AS perfect as the older girls. Studying the rest of herself, she made two more discoveries, all excess fat had been stripped from her body, about ten pounds or so, she estimated, and she had more developed muscles.

"Okay, how the hell did you do that?"

"Wow, haven't you gotten it yet!? My name's Elizabeth, and I'm a Mary Sue!! That Jessy, means I can do anything! And, I. Need. You. You are going to be my servant and best friend. You are going to help Leggy fall in love with me! You are going to help me." Jessica's lip twitched, feeling as though if she was ever trapped in a room with this girl, she might drown in punctuation and italics.

"Okay, how the hell did you know my name?" Elizabeth sighed rather dramatically.

"I've been studying you for a bit, you are the perfect person to make me seem even more perfect!" For a moment, she giggled to reflect on what she'd just said, as though it was silly. "Look, I'll even get someone for you! Now who do you want, Haldir? Aragon? Those twins? They're pretty hot." It was Aragorn, Jessica's mind mentally corrected.

"No one. I'm not going to help you." To say she looked stunned was a little bit of an understatement.

"Wha-wha-what?! You can't do that!"

"Oh? And why not?!" There was a small pause before an evil grin split across her perfect lips.

"Because, I can kill you, or, I can leave you out in the middle of Mordor, with the Orcs."

Well… huh. "Okay, fine, I'll help you, but I want something, I want to save three people."

"Fine, who?"

"Haldir, Boromir, and Kind Theoden."

:D So... Yeah, review, tell me if I should continue or leave it! Dun dun dun. It's just a start, so it, as always, is teh suckzors.