They are coming. They are coming. The end is near. Turn away while you can. Welcome to Night Vale.
A brand new harbour was built late last night by the Night Vale Building Organisation. Due to unpopular demand, the Sheriff was our guest of honour. According to the Sheriff's Secret Police, the ceremony to open the harbour was a huge success, with a turn out of approximately four citizens!
There are a variety of shops for the average millionaire to visit; Hugo's, Rico's Pizza, S&M and also our newest store, Mein Camp - for all your outdoor and camping needs! By far the most interesting aspect of the harbour, however, is the collection of piers, constructed from the highest quality stone, mined right from the Aztec ruins in the mountains. According to the Apache Tracker (and I urge you to remember that this is the white guy in the comically racist Indian headdress), the stones are marked with scriptures more than a thousand years old. However, when we interviewed him, he told us he "could not be sure", owing to the fact that the Aztecs lived over five hundred years before the Apaches and in a different part of America too.
Several queries have been raised about the harbour by many residents of Night Vale. In fact, I was even approached by Carlos! Can you believe that? Carlos talked to me! I'm sorry, listeners, I digress. Anyway, Carlos and his perfect, perfect hair told me something very intriguing about the new Night Vale harbour. Apparently, there's no way we can have a harbour, considering that we are in fact, in the middle of the desert. And there is no water in the middle of the desert.
In fact, there might not be anything in the middle of the desert. There may not be anything anywhere. After all, how can we be sure?
Goodnight, Listeners. Goodnight.