Hey everyone, this chapter went through some minor changes, so that it is easier for you to read.

The show sadly doesn´t belong to me, if it did it wouldn´t have ended as it did. Only the plot of this story is mine.

I am not a native english speaker so I am thankful for any tips you can give me to language and of course for the story itself.

Please read and review. And enjoy!

The best day

This was going to be the best day of her life, she was sure of it.

Things had changed a lot since she was a teenager and her life had taken some turns she wouldn´t have expected even in her wildest dreams, or nightmares.

But somehow, someway she had made it here. Even if it wasn´t all she had imagined over the years her life was pretty good and today her dream would finally come true. She, Jackie Buckhard, would finally marry.

Everything was perfect.

The beautiful little church she had chosen was decorated with bands and flowers in a perfect lilac tone. Romantic music would play during the ceremony and later at the reception; she had chosen really nice bridesmaid dresses, because there was no way in hell that someone would look anything less than beautiful at her wedding.

Not that anyone would look even remotely as awesome as she did. Well she was Jackie Buckhard, how could it be any different.

Though, in a few minutes she wouldn´t be a Buckhard any longer.

Funny how fast it was going now, after months of choosing every detail. Month of making sure that everything was perfect. Months of hoping for … for this day.

NOW everything was perfect, was ready and she was just moments away from marrying her dream man. Only a few more moments, eh.

Her hands fisted together and she took a deep breath.

Wow, almost married.

A dream comes true. She…

"Jackie! Jackie, you won´t believe… wow, you look beautiful." Brook stopped the moment she entered the little room Jackie occupied to get ready for the rest of her life.

The rest of her life… mhm.

She looked Jackie up and down, mouth still open as though she couldn´t quite believe it. "Jackie, you really are the most beautiful bride", she murmured.

"Well, of course I am." But somehow her voice lacked her usual power.

Without really looking at Brook, she knew she would look good in her bridesmaid dress, Jackie turned to take a look at the mirror.

Her reflection looked back at her, in a beautiful white dress that almost reached the floor, so that only the tip of her silver shoes looked out under the hem, her hair in a complicated up do with the little blue butterfly clasp she had borrowed from Jenny, her other bridesmaid, her nails painted the perfect shade of silver, a matching silver bow woven around her middle and the old silver necklace her grandmother had given her to her fifth birthday to wear when she would marry.

She did look beautiful.

And she hadn´t forgotten a thing, her veil lay on the little table behind her.

She just needed … a little time.

"Jackie? Are you okay?"

"Of course", just a murmur with her gaze still trained on her reflection.

She hadn´t forgotten anything.

She had something old, the necklace, something blue, the butterfly clasp, something borrowed, again the butterfly, and something new, her dress.

She hadn´t forgotten anything.

So… everything was fine, right?

It had to be.

She would marry in a few minutes. OH GOD.

"Jackie! Jackie, is everything okay?" Brook had taken a few steps towards her, a concerned look on the face.

"Why wouldn´t it be? This is what I always wanted, right? Do I really look okay?"

"Of course you do, Jackie, you look stunning. They won´t know what happened when they finally get to see you."

"Well, you´re right of course, what was I nervous about, ne?" Jackie smiled for a few seconds before her gaze travelled back to her reflection.

She just wanted to look perfect, that was the reason her hands wouldn´t stop fiddling with her skirt, if she didn´t stop that the material would get wrinkles and wrinkles on her wedding dress just wouldn´t do.

Of course she´d be nervous, everyone was. This was for life.

God.

But she was happy, of course. She always wanted to get married.

"Jackie!" Brook had taken a hold of Jackie's arm and forced her to turn around. She had a frown on her face and seemed determined to find out what was wrong.

Jackie might have even told her, if she had known.

"Jackie, you don´t look okay. I always imagined you´d be over the top happy on your wedding day but you look more like your favorite designer label just … I don`t know, closed or something."

"Oh Brook, don´t talk nonsense. Why would something like that happen? It just wouldn´t do to just cancel something so beautiful and important. Really, how would one know who has style and who doesn´t?" Arms thrown over her head Jackie looked at Brook as though she had lost her mind. "Really, don´t you know…"

"Jackie! That is not the point!" Jackie stopped waving her arms back and forth and looked at Brook, stunned.

Brook never screamed, not even when Betsy decided to throw her food around rather than eat it. She hadn´t even scream when Michael had joint Betsy in the food fight. This just wasn´t normal.

"Ähm Brook? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, Michael is an idiot but I am fine. I mean it´s his decision if he rather sleeps with one of your bitchy cousins then having another shot with me, that´s fine." She crossed her arms in front of her chest, giving Jackie a stern look, trying not to look hurt.

She really couldn´t fool anyone with that expression, even Jackie could see how hurt she was and well… she still wasn´t really good at that.

"Brook I am soo sorry!" Taking Brooks hand she took her over to the little table and forced her to sit down with a little shove when she wouldn´t budge. Listening to other peoples troubles seemed so much easier than to analyze her own.

"Really what is he thinking? And that after trying to get you back after who knows how long…"

"I know", sniffling Brook grabbed a Kleenex, really Jackie had no idea where she got that one and … blew her nose.

"Well, yeah… ihh. Brook that was just", grimacing Jackie awkwardly petted Brook on the back.

"You should stop that, you know? He isn´t worth it and … well you´re ruining your make up and we just don´t have enough time to reapply it."

"Wow, Jackie, I feel so much better now!"

"Well, I am happy, I could help. It is really important to me that everyone looks good on my wedding day, you know, I don´t want any uggos in my pictures!" Shaking a little Jackie grimaced. "Just imagine…"

"Jackie!"

"What? Oh… you´re not really feeling better, are you?"

"NO! And this is important. I cannot believe he did that to me. I mean why would he do that?"

"You are not really starting to cry now, are you? Because it really isn´t the best time … god, no need to look at me like that. But fine, I´m going to kick Michael in the shins, he says that really hurts . . . not good? Ähm… what about…" Sighing Jackie moves around the table and sits opposites of Brook.

"FINE! Let´s talk", she huffs in that annoyed Jackie voice that says you better don´t take too much of my precious time.

"Thanks", Brook sniffed sadly, blowing in her Kleenex again.

Well, how could she be mad at her friend when she was obviously so down. Though she should hurry up… she had to get married in a few minutes, hours it seemed like minutes.

"Okay, let´s take our time. So you decided to give Michael another chance and right after that you found him … going after one of my cousins?"

"W-well yeah, h-h-he tri-ied to k-k-k-k-kiss her a-and then he saw – saw me standing there and he lo-looked shocked when I ran out a-and I-I think he ran after m-m-me. But I l-lost him and came here to talk but – but you looked so down … why did you look so down? Is really everything okay?"

"Well, so you came here to talk to ME about what happened?"

"Yeah, I w-was on the way here any-anyway so…"

"Okay, okay… what about Michael, I thought he followed you?"

"H-he isn´t the most intelligent p-person so he probably doesn´t know w-where I went."

"Well, that is true. He kind of is a little stupid sometimes… but I really did think he changed. I mean he did everything to get another chance with you!"

"I know!" Sniffling Brook grabbed another Kleenex – really where did those come from – and rubbed her eyes. Bye, bye make-up. This would take some time.

"Sooo when did you tell him, you want to try again? … …. … Brook?"

"I-I didn´t. Not y-yet. I wanted to t-tell him today!", sniffling Brook looked down on the table, tracing cracks in the old wood. "How could he?!"

"Ähm… could it be that he gave up?"

"Eh?"

"I mean you always told him that there was no chance in hell that the two of you could have a relationship, so maybe he gave up."

"EH?"

"He tried for two years to win you back and you didn´t show any sign of relenting so maybe-"

"He wouldn´t!"

"Brook, …"

"No! He cannot have given up on me. Not when, not when I, when I…" Ending with a cry, Brook buried her head in her hands. Shoulders shaking she simply sat there, ignoring Jackie´s attempts to comfort her.

"I think – you know, you should just talk to him. I bet he would be happy to hear about it and get back together with you. Oh, and he totally would dumb the other slut."

"Jackie, it was one of your cousins…"

"Jup, I know. Defiantly a slut."

"Ähm… okay, but what if, I don´t know, he doesn´t want me anymore?"

"Brook, that guy ran after you for two years. That's more than any guy ever did for me. He is so in Love with you that he gave up his womanizing ways – except this time, I guess. You yourselves said he spends almost every free minute with you and Betsy. Of course he wants you still. Feelings like that don´t simply disappear! So you better go out there now, grab him and tell him that you better see him never again with any bimbo because if you do, he will experience hell on earth! And then you can kiss him!" Clapping her hands, Jackie began hopping up and down on her chair. "This is sooo romantic!"

"Well, I guess you´re right. There´s no use in sitting here crying. I gotta go get my man… and make sure he never touches a bimbo again!"

"That´s right! … … … Brooke, wait!"

Brook, who was already at the door, turning the doorknob look back at Jackie, more than a little annoyed. "What is it Jackie, I have to go now, before something happens between him … and … and… and that slut!"

"But you look like a zombie!"

"WHAT?! Really Jackie, that´s just … true. OH MY GOD! I-I what am I going to do now?"

"Well obviously you are going to remove your make-up so we can do it again… otherwise you might just scare Michael to death."

"Wow, that´s really nice, Jackie."

"Hey, I am just saying the truth!"

"Yes… that makes it worth it."

"Shut up and sit down, we will fix this in no time."

Brook, sitting in front of Jackie with her eyes closed, while Jackie applies new make-up, seems a lot calmer. She is even smiling a little. "So Michael and I will be okay."

"I bet you will", Jackie murmured, focused on applying the right amount of eye shadow. "You will look so pretty, he won´t be able to resist. Now shut up, I´m working."

The two girls actually remained silent for two minutes, before Brook speaks up again. "Listen Jackie, I´m happy that you help me with Michael, so if there is anything you want to talk about."

"There really isn´t, Brook."

"You know what? I don´t believe you. Something´s brothering you, so what is it? Does it have to do with marrying Thomas? You don´t have to do this if you´re not feeling up to it."

"Oh Brook, you know Tom´s everything I ever wanted in a man. He is like a dream come true. AND he wants to marry me, why wouldn´t I be happy about it?"

"Maybe you don´t want the dream man?"

"I really don´t know what you are talking about, Brook. Everyone wants the dream man, your own personal prince charming. It´s natural."

"Well, I still believe you might just be happier by staying with the dragon in your own castle."

"Okay, now you´ve lost it. Because I really don´t get what you´re talking about." Finishing the eye shadow, Jackie looks at Brook critically, before nodding. "Yeah, this color looks really good on you."

"Jackie, we were having an important conversation!"

Moving on from the eye shadow, Jackie started working on Brook´s make-up again. "We did? I really couldn´t follow your dragon talk."

"Jackie could it be that you´re just marrying Thomas because he is what you´re meant to look for?"

"Eh?"

"I mean, it´s as you said, he is your dream man. But is he really the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, grow old with, and have kids with and well… I don´t know give every other guy up for?"

Laughing silently Jackie threw Brook a look, not that she could see it with her eyes closed. But well, chances were she could feel it and would finally shut up. She really didn´t want to have this conversation.

"Whomever would I give up on, hmm? There isn´t anyone in the running against Tom."

"Really? What about Hyde."

Jackie swallowed, trying to keep her hand from shaking while continuing to apply make-up. What was it with Steven? It was almost as though he was following her, regardless of where she went. He would turn around a corner in front of her or appear at dinners with her friends.

And when there wasn´t a chance of that someone would mention him and force her to talk about it as though it still was important, as if it still mattered.

When it didn´t. When it stopped being her business a long time ago. When she had moved on.

And she had. Really.

"Jacky?"

"What about Steven? It´s not as though it would have been a real possibility. As if he was a possibility."

Opening her eyes, Brook looked at her best friend. "And if it were?"

"But it isn´t, Brook! What does it matter if there isn´t a chance in hell for us to work out even if he wanted it and even if I wouldn´t marry Tom."

Sighing Brook shook her head. "But maybe you want it to be a possibility and you don´t want to stifle this small chance with marrying someone else. Because you want to be with him."

"No I don´t." Standing up, Jackie turned around and busied her hand with stroking her veil. It sure was beautiful, and so soft.

"Jackie." Just a whisper from her friend. Even without looking, Jackie knew Brook was worried. She really didn´t want to worry her friend, when she had other things to worry about, like her and Michaels relationship.

"Everything is good." Forcing a smile on her lips she turned around, looking at her friend. "You should get going. The make-up is awesome, Michael won´t be able to resist you."

"Jackie, maybe you should give it another try too. Talk to him, he might…"

"No. Brook, we tried. We did. And when it went to hell, I tried again. We don´t want the same things. We never have. And I really do love Tom, maybe I love Steven more, but he isn´t an option. I refuse to give up on a great life that I know I will love to give Steven another chance to break my heart in a thousand little pieces. We just don´t work."

"But maybe this time it wouldn´t end like that. If you can believe me and Michael can work, then there also is a chance for you and Hyde. You could have it all."

The wistful smile on Jackie´s face stopped her in her tracks.

"Even if we´d get together now, we´d have the same problems a few years later, it might even only take months for us to be at each other's throats. Because it always comes down to two things, we don´t want the same things, never have, never will, and we don´t trust each other, not anymore. And I want to marry. I want to spend the rest of my life with one person. I want to start a family. I want children and a house with a garden and maybe a pet. I want to come home to a man who will take me in his arms and give me a kiss every day. I want to be able to talk with guys without having to wonder if my husband/boyfriend/whatever saw me and is now off to revenge fuck the first slut he meets. I want a stable, normal life. And Steven isn´t the guy for that. Tom is. But it isn´t just that, it´s not only the promise of a future, it's… I know he would never cheat on me. I know he would never miss something that´s really, really important to me and I know I can trust him with anything. He will take care of me. He won´t just throw me away the second something or someone more interesting comes along."

Looking at her friend, Brook had to do her best not to start crying again. She didn´t even have an idea just how much Hyde had hurt her by choosing that stripper over her and even by telling her no, when she had ask him a year and a half later, if he´d like to try again. Maybe it really was best this way … but…

"Are you really happy? If you´re still so sad about what happened with Hyde than maybe you owe it to yourselves to try again, just once, even if he doesn´t deserve it."

"You know what one says: too little, too late. That´s my relationship with Steven. If he even does something, it always is too little and he almost always does it way too late. He couldn´t bring himself to fight for me, for us even once. And I think I deserve more than a relationship than this. I won´t give up another go at a happy future for that, I can´t."

"And if he did make a grand gesture, something that showed you how much he loves you?"

"Really Brook, why are we talking about something both of us know will never happen?"

"Jackie!" But her friend simply looked at her and she had to admit that it probably wouldn´t happen. That Jackie was right.

And if she was being true she knew, that Jackie still knew Hyde the best and when she didn´t think him capable of great romantic gestures, he probably wasn´t.

"Just promise me you are going to be happy."

Smiling brightly, Jackie bobbed her head. "Of course I will. Thank you for worrying about me. Now, go get your man! Before he hurts himself or something."

Laughing lightly Brook went for the door. "That could happen. I hope for him, he didn´t go back to his slut."

"Of course he didn´t. He changed, Brook."

Biting her tongue to stop herself from saying Hyde might have done the same; she opened the door and went on her way to find her not so perfect man.

On her way out she stole one more glance at Jackie, standing before the mirror yet again with another wistful smile on her face and she just knew, regardless of how often Jackie denied it, that her friend wished the man she´d marry today was someone else.