Disclaimer: I don't own Mai Hime.

Beta'd by: Madhattess! Thank you! =D

This is for the MaiUniverse (a Mai-Series forum) prompt challenge: Dinosaurs/Sleep. I'm sorry to say that there aren't any dinosaurs in this fic, but there are cavewomen so it's close enough, right? =) Please keep in mind that this is a crack-fic and thus, it should come as no surprise that it's not historically accurate.

Our story begins in a random field. I can't tell you where exactly, as country names haven't been invented yet, but it was definitely someplace on Earth. Humans were just beginning to form groups and social structures, designating jobs to the various members of their tribes.

One such group was the Hime tribe that consisted entirely of, you guessed it, females; the last male died a couple years ago. It must have been awkward for the male members of the group to be part of the 'Hime' tribe, but whatever.

This brought up the question of, 'What about producing offspring?' Well Natsuki, the Hime tribe's Chief, figured that when that particular problem arose, she could send Akane, Akira or someone else to the Ouji tribe, whose last female member died not that long ago.

This brought up a recent memory the young Chieftain abhorred to recall: an Ouji tribe member trying to woo her right in front of her mate, Shizuru. Natsuki had then "forcibly ushered" the green-haired boy away from her lands before sending the recently tamed Duran after him.

Natsuki smiled fondly at the last bit of memory as she leaned against her cave's wall. "Good boy," She said to the canine, and affectionately patted the top of his furry head.

Duran, in response to the praise, panted happily as Natsuki continued to pet from the top of his head, down to his scruff. The domesticated jackal, which was resting his head on his master's lap, didn't know what he was getting commended for, but was content nonetheless.

"Natsuki seems happy."

"Of course." Green eyes shifted their stare from outside the shelter to look to her mate, who was standing a couple meters away. Natsuki's gaze narrowed in at the leaf Shizuru cupped in her hand, "What're you doing?" She asked, watching curiously as the brunette's free hand dropped down to the leaf before going back to their wall, smearing color onto the eroded stone.

"Painting," Shizuru replied simply as she continued.

The black-haired girl frowned, "What's painting?" She stood up to get a better look, much to Duran's disappointment, and took in the newly 'painted' figures of stick-buffalo, stick-horses, stick-etc., that doted their large cave. One in particular caught her attention, "Hey, that one looks like me!" She grinned, pointing it out.

Shizuru smiled, "That's because it is." The brunette then turned her red eyes to the Chief, a familiar glint making Natsuki's instincts kick in. (Though which instincts they were, she wasn't quite sure.) "Actually, I was thinking about putting up paintings of how we first met." Stick-figure style, of course.

The Chieftain's eyes shot open as she paled. She often boasted to everyone how she picked out the fairest maiden of the tribe to be her mate, but everyone knew what really happened: Shizuru had first spotted Natsuki and it was almost then and there that she had 'claimed' the Chief as her own. ('Almost' because Shizuru blinked a couple times and took a few seconds to calm her libido down, thus giving her just enough time to drag a horribly bewildered Natsuki into the nearest cave to give the black-haired Chief the best time of her life.) It was short, sweet and unforgettable- the meeting that is, not the… you know.

Natsuki tried desperately to fight the blush off her face. Warriors don't blush! She cleared her throat, "That won't be necessary, Shizuru. Wouldn't you rather our first memories together to be special, just between the two of us?" That and I really don't need a Natsuki-figure on its back with a Shizuru-figure looming over it on my walls.

The brown haired tribe member smirked, amused, "Ara, how clever Natsuki has become with her words." Shizuru turned back to her art.

Natsuki rolled her eyes good naturedly, "I learned from the best." Knowing Shizuru, I'm just afraid those stick figures will have little stick-fingers in places that shouldn't be publicized—

"—Chief."

"Whaa!" Natsuki jumped when someone suddenly spoke up behind her, almost dropping her wooden Chieftain staff in the process. She turned around to find Akira giving her a stoic expression. How the hell does she always get around without making a sound? The leader then turned her gaze to Duran who was fast asleep. Some guard dog you are. She looked back to the tribe's Lookout, "What's up, Akira?"

"Sorry for startling you, Chief," Natsuki noticed, with some annoyance, that her Lookout was fighting off a smirk. "But Haruka and Yukino just arrived back from their hunting and gathering."

"Yo, mutt face! You coming out here anytime soon?" A familiar voice yelled from outside Natsuki's cave.

The Chief scowled before walking outside, followed closely by Akira and Shizuru. She made her way to the tribe-ground's center (i.e. fifteen feet in front of her home) and sifted through the gathering crowd of Himes.

"Took you long enough," a young redhead muttered when Natsuki reached the center of the circle.

"Quiet, Nao!" The Chief sent Nao a pointed look before turning to Haruka and Yukino. She tapped the end of her staff onto the ground, giving off a much more professional aura as she addressed the two, "What have you two returned with?"

Haruka started to "ugg" conversationally.

"Hold it!" Nao exclaimed, effectively cutting off the large blonde. "Get with the times, Haruka! Grunting was so three hours ago." The redhead rolled her eyes, "We use words now."

Natsuki smirked and leaned over to Nao, whispering, "Nice one." She then paused for a second, "By the way, what's an 'hour'?"

Nao shrugged, "Beats me. It's the first word to pop into my head to express one of twenty-four numerical periods of time in a single day." She relied casually.

"Ah."

Haruka frowned, "I've been gone since the glowing circle in the sky—"

"Sun," Yukariko offered helpfully with a pleasant smile. "We've named it since you've been gone."

The tribe's Strong-arm furrowed her eyebrows, "… Since the sun's first appearance behind the large rocks in the distance—"

"Mountains," Yukariko supplied again.

"Argh! This is why I hate leaving during the day!" Haruka growled out.

Yukino tried to comfort her wound up mate, "At least we were able to get a lot of food this time, Haruka."

At this, Haruka's mood did a one-eighty and she practically glowed, "Of course! I'm more than capable of a little hunting!" The blonde boasted.

"Ara, and Haruka does so well at it too," Shizuru chimed in.

If at all possible, Haruka was shining even brighter under the praise, "You guys should rely on me more often!"

Shizuru smiled, nodding her head, "We'll make sure to do that."

Haruka huffed proudly and started to march off toward the cave she shared with Yukino, unaware off the helpless look her mate was giving her after being tricked.

Nao was snickering at Haruka's expense, "How do you always manage to take care of that bull-headed woman so easily, Shizuru?" The redhead grinned, green eyes twinkling in amusement.

The brunette smiled, "Well, you know what they say about 'taking the "bull" by the horns'."

Natsuki and Nao blinked. "Actually, I don't," Nao replied, frowning. "Who's 'they'?"

It was Shizuru's turn to blink, puzzled. "… You know what? I don't rightfully know. Hm, that's strange; where did that phrase come from, then?" She trailed off, pondering her own words.

Natsuki rolled her eyes before turning to the pile of food Haruka and Yukino left on the ground: a mother boar, its baby piglets and a fur-satchel filled with edible vegetation. She grinned, This should be enough to feed the tribe for a couple days. The black-haired Chief turned to the crowd, her gaze searching her fellow Himes before settling on the pair she wanted to speak to, "Chie! Aoi!"

"You called, Chief?" The charcoal-haired girl replied, her mate and fellow tribe-gossiper standing at her side.

"I need you and Aoi to carry the piglets to Mai so she can cut it up for the tribe—Oh, I almost forgot."

"Yes?" The brunette asked, her blue eyes inquisitive.

"I also need you to make sure Mikoto doesn't eat it all up. Last time she 'ate her fill' we almost didn't have enough for everyone else!" Green eyes hardened at the memory.

Aoi giggled and saluted, "Roger that, Chief!" She then paused, a perplexed expression crossing her features as she lowered her hand. She turned to her equally confused mate, "What does 'roger' mean?"

"Who cares! Just bring the piglets to Mai," The Chieftain frowned.

Chie smirked wolfishly, "We'll call it: Aoi's sexy salute!" She growled out sensuously, her brown eyes glinting mischievously.

"Oh, Chie," Aoi giggled, playfully pushing her partner's shoulder.

"Now would be nice!"

They both jumped, 'eep!'ing at Natsuki's commanding tone before quickly scrambling to complete their assigned task.

Natsuki sighed, shaking her head before going back into professional mode. She turned to two of the four redheads in her tribe, "Midori, Fumi. I need you two to carry the mother boar."

Midori grinned, "Got'cha!" She picked one end and waited for the other woman.

"As you wish, Chief," Fumi smiled amiably as she easily picked up her side. Both of the woman walked towards Mai's cave where they could already hear the chopping of the piglets commencing.

Natsuki finally turned to the snide redhead beside her, "Nao, I need you to carry the bag of herbs—"

Nao lifted and eyebrow in her contempt, "Yeah… no."

"Why not?" The chief scowled.

"It'll ruin my manicure," Nao replied off-handedly. Excuse the pun.

Natsuki grit her teeth, feeling her eyebrow threaten to tic as her anger started to rise, "What the hell's a manicure?"

Nao shrugged, "I don't know, but I'm sure as hell not ruining it by carrying that bag."

Natsuki's fury skyrocketed and she opened her mouth to shout, only to be soothed by calming ministrations on her shoulders, by her mate's hands, "Peace, Natsuki. Peace," Shizuru cooed quietly into the other's ear, effectively subduing the Chief.

"Fine, fine," Natsuki sighed. She turned to another person standing nearby, "Anh, could you take the bag of herbs to—wait…" Natsuki eyebrows creased in confusion before it quickly turned into anger, "You're part of the Otome tribe, Anh! What're you doing here?" She growled out. She then saw what, or rather who, was in Anh's clutches, "What're you doing to my Shaman!"

"Caressing her inner thigh and making her squeak out the cutest of mewls, why?" Anh smiled innocently, further tempted by the soft gasps and whimpers escaping an overly flushed and overly embarrassed Yukariko, wriggling to break free from the grasp around her waist.

"Just leave!" Natsuki commanded, gesturing back toward the Otome tribe's direction with her staff.

"If you want me to leave, well fine then!" Anh huffed, mock indignant. "But I'll be taking this with me!" As soon as she said 'this', she picked Yukariko up bridal style and smirked.

"P-put me down this instant!" The furiously blushing Shaman gave a half-hearted attempt to push Anh away, only making the other brunette's grin wider.

"It's useless; I know you can't resist me," Anh purred out and grinned cheekily before taking off in a mad dash toward the Otome tribe.

Natsuki's eyebrow ticked, "Anh just stole my Shaman… again."

"You know Yukariko will be back in about one or two weeks time like always," Shizuru noted.

"Yeah, but still," The black haired Chieftain sighed, exasperated. She leaned her hand against one of the nearby rocks, the other gripping her staff tightly as she tried to vent her frustration. "Who am I going to get to take over her job in the mean ti—" She lost her balance and her hand slipped. The black rock she was gripping slid against the surface it was leaning on, sparking a fire on a nearby patch grass. The startled teen cried out at the new, burning sight, taking a couple steps back as the orange flames licked up into life.

"Ara," The Chief's mate gripped Natsuki's body from behind, circling her arms around the shorter one's waist, "Natsuki invented fire."

"W-what's fire?" The still spooked Natsuki stammered.

"That," The red-eyed tribeswomen answered matter-of-factly, pointing to the flames.

"I know that! But how do you know it's 'fire'?" The younger of the two started to calm down as Shizuru rested her chin on Natsuki's shoulder.

"I don't know," Shizuru answered, "The word just came to me."

By now, other tribe members had started to gather around the 'fire,' murmuring about the small and warm wonder.

"Whoa," Nao's eyes widened, her expression mimicking many of the other people around her. "What is it?" She asked in fascination.

Natsuki's brows furrowed inquisitively at the small flames, "Apparently, I made something called 'fire'."

Akira stared at it, "Isn't that the same thing that hits trees during the times of water falling from the sky with loud flashes?"

Akane's eyes widened, "The Chief made the loud flashes? From her hands?"

Natsuki, with realization gradually dawning on her, slowly started to smile, "Hey, that's right! From rocks, I made the flashes! From that, I made 'fire'!" With a smug grin on her face, she turned to the other tribeswomen, gently breaking away from Shizuru's hold, "I, chosen Chieftain of the Hime, have created fire from hand-made flashes!" She announced loudly while throwing her hands up and cheers echoed from the other tribe members.

After a couple minutes, the ovation died down and a voice piped up at the end, "Yeah, but can you do it again?"

Natsuki scoffed at the young redhead that dared to challenge her ability, "Of course I can!" She walked over to the flint rock and picked it up. She placed it against the large stone it was resting upon earlier and swiftly grated them against one other, once again creating another spark, and in turn, creating another tiny flame. "See?"

Nao, still looking unimpressed, smirked even wider, "Now can you stop the 'fire'?"

Natsuki's green eyes widened. She remembered the fires that burned down the plain's trees sometimes grew very large, engulfing the whole tree in just a few minutes. Her gaze darted around, becoming alarmed, "Youko!" She called out to the tribe's Inventor. The Inventor not only invented words at almost an annoyingly fast rate, but also useful items to use, like Mai's 'knife' or Shizuru's 'bowl'.

"Yes, Chief?" The oldest brunette came forth. "Did you want something?"

"Yes, make something to put out the fire," The Chief pointed to the two small flames on the ground with her staff.

Blue eyes frowned at the orange and red fires, circling and examining them for research. The tall woman turned back to her leader and nodded, "I'll see what I can do, but it'll take some time."

Natsuki nodded and turned around to walk away.

"I've got it," Youko said after a millisecond of thinking, making the Chief pause in mid-step.

Green eyes turned back to the Inventor, irritated, "I thought you said it'd take 'some time' to figure out how to get rid of the fires."

"Yes, but do you know how long 'some time' is?" Youko smirked, seeing the frown crease further down on Natsuki's visage.

"No, because I get the feeling you just invented it," Natsuki growled out, her eyebrow threatening to tic again.

"Correct, Chief. It means a vague, un-determined amount of time."

"That means I could have been here, waiting for hours—" Natsuki briefly cut off, looking to Nao to see if that was indeed the word the redhead used earlier. When Nao gave her a nod, she continued, "—without knowing when you'd be done!"

"Exactly," Youko looked proud of herself.

The raven-haired girl sighed, her anger deflating, "Just put the fire out…"

The Inventor nodded before turning to the crowd, "MIDORI!" She yelled to her mate at the top of her lungs.

The redhead popped out of the small gathering, walking up to her partner, "You hollered?" She grinned her trademark smile.

Youko leaned in and whispered the plan to the tribe's Animal Tamer. Midori nodded as Youko talked, peaking everyone's interest. Finally, the brunette pulled back and watched Midori walk off.

"What's she going to get?" Shiho asked, her amber eyes shining with curiosity.

Youko wagged her finger, a small, knowing smile on her face, "A good Inventor never reveals anything before the demonstration."

Midori finally came back… with a simple small-sized boulder that required she it carry it with two hands. And what did she do with said boulder? Why, drop it onto the fire, of course!

"That was your 'ingenious' plan?" Natsuki glared at Youko, feeling ripped off. Well, it was anti-climactic.

The dark brown haired woman frowned, offended, "Well, what did you expect with what I have to work with? We live in the plains! If we lived in the nearby forest of the Otome tribe, I'd get Midori to find a wet log." The Inventor then turned back to the redhead, "Alright Midori, once you take care of the second fire, we can get back to—"

"One moment, please," Shizuru spoke up just as Midori was about to retrieve the boulder. The rest of the tribe turned to her, curious as the brunette went back into the Chieftain's cave, "I want to try something really quick." She disappeared into her home and soon came back out, rolling a large, thin, flat rock with a sizable hole in the middle along side her body.

She plopped it down around the parameter of the fire, brushing her hands off on her leopard-print loincloth when she leaned back up, satisfied with the positioning.

"What's that?" Natsuki asked, looking at what seemed to be a hand-carved rock.

"It's called a wheel, Natsuki. It can be used to transport goods and people," she explained to her mate. "It's made of stone, though, so hopefully with this surrounding the fire, it won't grow any larger." Shizuru then disappeared into the cave once again, leaving a couple dozen-or-so dumbfounded tribe-members to muse over the oddly shaped rock.

Coming back out with quite a few more foreign items, Shizuru sat down in front of the fire and started to fit several of the pieces together. Everyone watched in silent awe as she built what is now known as a rotisserie spit. After dangling a pot of water over the fire, Shizuru reached into a satchel she brought and withdrew a handful of crushed herbs. She then waited, a small 'mug' (courtesy of Youko) in her free hand.

"Shizuru… What're you doing?" Natsuki finally asked after a few beats, voicing everyone's thoughts.

"'What am I doing?'" The brunette echoed, turning to her mate, a mysterious smile gracing her features. "Ara, I wonder…"

Quite a number of people leaned forward in anticipation. Natsuki leaned forward from the weigh pushing against her back, and grumbled irritably. "Any time now, Shizuru!" Before I get toppled over!

Shizuru suddenly beamed, "Why, I'm making tea!"

Everyone froze as Shizuru turned back to the now heated liquid. She dropped the herbs into the water and started to softly stir with the bottom of her mug, a serene smile on her face as she did so. She closed her eyes in bliss while everyone else stared on, bemused.

And thus the first instances of "tea" were recorded.

Nao watched Shizuru, her eyebrow raised as she stood next to Natsuki, "Do you ever get the feeling that your mate is in the wrong era?"

"You have no idea…"

And they lived happily ever after. Somehow.

Yes, let it be known that even in the dawn of humankind, Shizuru was not without her tea.

Thank you for reading. =)